Sesame Street to tackle divorce, for real this time

[CensoredAlso]

I always thought they were too hasty in pulling the first attempt at tackling divorce. Did they really expect kids not to get upset? Divorce is an upsetting thing. Kids have to learn to deal with those feelings too.

I don't know, to me it's kind of wimpy to introduce the topic after it's already happened to Abby. It's avoiding all those painful emotions. Kids in real life won't be so lucky. And while divorce is actually happening to them, they're not just going to say "Oh well Abby was happy later on, so everything must be cool!" Divorce is a long, painful process that will last long after the episode ends.

It's typical of my issues with the show the way it is now. It's all sanitized and avoiding real feelings.

 

[Drtooth]

Grover's kind of in that same ballpark as Abby. He's always mentioning (or calling for) his mommy. But...Grover's dad was mentioned only twice in a couple of storybooks. I wondered if they decided once upon a time to have a couple of major characters in single parent homes. Notice that we saw Roosevelt Franklin and his mom a lot, but never his dad. It wouldn't have been that hard to create a dad character for both of them (a spare Grover puppet with a mustache or something) and an AM for Roosevelt's dad...or even in storybooks. No, Roosevelt isn't around anymore, but he sure was a big character back then. Kids related to him then (and Grover still) the way they do to Abby.

That does bring up a logical point. We rarely got to see any of the parents, and usually when we did, it was the mother. Even the Two Headed Monster got a mother. We never saw or heard mentions of any dads... except Cookie Monster in that one Conversations with my Father parody. These guys have Daddy issues, or something? On an example of another kid's show, they never mention or see the fathers of the kids in that new Cat in the Hat show, and both kids are very close to their respective mothers. Then they had the Christmas episode where they actually bring the fathers into the story briefly. I guess that hints that their fathers work all the time, but then again, most of the episodes I've seen (I Love Martin Short, what can I say?) take place in the middle of the day.

I always thought they were too hasty in pulling the first attempt at tackling divorce. Did they really expect kids not to get upset? Divorce is an upsetting thing. Kids have to learn to deal with those feelings too.

I don't see why after one attempt with bad results they completely abandoned it. They should have taken a different approach and tried again sooner. I think the main problem isn't so much with Snuffy, but rather Alice. Clearly this wasn't meant to have been a particularly bitter divorce, but there's something about leaving a family with a baby/toddler seems to be a little harsh (though it realistically happen, but some families stay together long enough for the children to grow up to a reasonable age). In fact, rereading the description THE problem they had was with Alice's reaction...

The realistic depiction of the Snuffleupagus children struggling emotionally with the issue also proved troubling. In one scene, as Alice overhears her parents arguing in the next cave, she pounds and kicks her teddy bear out of frustration. Singer weighed in on the reactions, which despite the care taken, revealed both emotional responses and misunderstandings of the very points which the script attempted to clarify

Realistic but Dark. Very dark and too dark for a kid's show. At least a preschool kid's show. Fat Albert showed the arguing, but that works for the older age group who have a slightly better understanding.

I don't know, to me it's kind of wimpy to introduce the topic after it's already happened to Abby. It's avoiding all those painful emotions. Kids in real life won't be so lucky. And while divorce is actually happening to them, they're not just going to say "Oh well Abby was happy later on, so everything must be cool!" Divorce is a long, painful process that will last long after the episode ends.

Actually, that's the smart thing, and the same brilliant choice behind showing the hurricane episode this year from the aftermath. It's not that they won't show what happened retrospectively, but dealing with the aftermath is the best way to tell kids that things are going to be all right, and thus there's no need to panic. In a lot of cases things aren't all right, but that's a messy matter for when the kids are older. I'd hate to see a scene in which Abby's mother comes in and says "I'm leaving your dad because we married too early in life for all the wrong reasons and I'm blaming him for any crushed dreams I had that were unrealistic goals anyway."

It's very important to tell little kids things are going to be alright, even if they aren't really. Yet most of the divorces I know (and there's a LOT of them) happened when the kids were relatively old enough to understand what was going on. Sad thing is, some of them were pretty rough and there was one very bad example of the kids being very unadjusted. Not naming names, one divorced happened a long time coming with an abusive husband and things are as messy as a sewer system still, another left the kids pretty much thieving drug addicts, and one wasn't really so bad because the kid was spoiled enough by his father. Then there's one more that happened shockingly late in the marriage when the kids were all adults. Heck, my parents almost got one until the baby sister arrived. My sister saved my parents marriage.

 

[mbmfrog]

If Elmo's in this, was this before or after the you-know what scandal ?

Still, Divorce is always a touchy subject to discuss in modern times when we're surrounded by the way the media frames it. It's a difficult and ugly subject for anyone to go through.

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

If Elmo's in this, was this before or after the you-know what scandal ?

I was going to ask the same thing. I'm assuming if this is airing soon, it may have been taped prior to Kevin's departure.

I know we're getting a bit off subject with this, but again, I can understand since I was wondering as well.

 

[Drtooth]

Still, Divorce is always a touchy subject to discuss in modern times when we're surrounded by the way the media frames it. It's a difficult and ugly subject for anyone to go through.

Sad thing is, a few kid's shows beat Sesame Street to the punch. I think Arthur really handled Buster well by not mentioning it until a while down the road, and only because the other kids were overly sensitive and thought he was going to be lonely and miserable on father's day. Fat Albert, like I said, actually showed it happening and having the kid go through depression until the junkyard gang set him straight. Then of course there are various resource and children's books that explain the subject. Kids only need to know that they're splitting up and it isn't their fault and things will be fine (unless the divorce was because one of the parents was an abusive psychopath, but that's a very messy detail). The deeper, complicated, and depressing stuff is something they'd have to deal with later, when they're adults. Sesame's job is just that. Tell the kids things will be okay, and not to sweat the details.

 

[D'Snowth]

I get what you're saying Drtooth, but it's not like SST tried to tackle divorce from day one... the infamous divorce episode was around, what, 1992 or so? Some 23 years or so.

 

[Drtooth]

Yeah. It's not like they didn't try, but they kinda got bad results with it and never brought the topic up again with the exception of the one about the bird that lives in two trees or whatever it was. Shame it took them this long. Because of that, they were beaten to the punch multiple times. Though the Fat Albert episode (they did two of them, one was later on and pictured a much more bitter fight between parents) was from the 70's and 80's...

I know Marc Brown wrote a non Arthur book about it. he pointed that out at that thing I mentioned in another thread. And it was suggested by child psychologists.

 

[JonnyBMuppetMan]

If Elmo's in this, was this before or after the you-know what scandal ?

It was definitely before. Kevin not only performed Elmo and a few other characters in the video, but according to Muppet Wiki, he directed it as well.

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Kevin_Clash#Production_credits

 

[CensoredAlso]

I don't see why after one attempt with bad results they completely abandoned it.

See I don't see those as bad results. They were just human results. We can't always rush in and make sure kids are "all right" 24/7 and never upset. That's not real life. Kids have every right to be angry and upset during a divorce. It seems to me the only people benefiting from kids not panicking are the parents who are trying to avoid guilt.

dealing with the aftermath is the best way to tell kids that things are going to be all right, and thus there's no need to panic.

I just don't think it makes divorce real enough. A kid might see this Abby segment and think "Well divorce is something that happens to other people and they're fine now but it's not something I need to worry about." But if divorce actually does happen to them, it's a very different story. It's a lot harder to handle when it's actually happening to you.

 

[DTF]

See I don't see those as bad results. They were just human results. We can't always rush in and make sure kids are "all right" 24/7 and never upset. That's not real life. Kids have every right to be angry and upset during a divorce. It seems to me the only people benefiting from kids not panicking are the parents who are trying to avoid guilt.

I just don't think it makes divorce real enough. A kid might see this Abby segment and think "Well divorce is something that happens to other people and they're fine now but it's not something I need to worry about." But if divorce actually does happen to them, it's a very different story. It's a lot harder to handle when it's actually happening to you.

Taking that to the extreme, though, kids can always think, "Well, it happens to someone else" unless they go through it themselves. I sure see enough of that with people who - if they ever did do a will or estate plan - it was in their 20s when they named a guardian for their kid, and now they're in their 80s and that kid who the will names a guardian for is a 50-year-old Executor. People don't like to think about death or divorce. And, adults don't want to be blamed either - divorce is so comlpex that kids could think it's always one way when it's not. (Plus, adults don't want to take blame for things, sadly.)

WHen you think about it, the Abby approach is the same as Mr. Hooper's death - we don't see him in the hospital on life support. We don't see him calling all the grandMuppets and dying a few minutes after talking to Big Bird one last time, and Big Bird saying, "If I hadn't talked to him he wouldn't have died!" (An actual quote from my then 7YO cousin who knew our grandpa was calling the grandkids to say goodbye one last time. She thought he was waiting till he talked to everyone and so if he hadn't talked to her he'd have stayed alive)

That's the kind of misunderstanding kids make, and while it would have been good to tweak the Snuffy episode to talk about feelings a little more, you'd have still had the problem that - unless they broke the fourth wall and explained to kids that it wasn't going to happen to them just becasue their parents fight - it would be hard not to scare them needlessly. (Although I should add that, having not seen the Snuffy ep., it's possible that they *did* have another character say, "But, my parents fight and they never get divorced.")

Children need to be eased into things. This is a good start. Maybe later they can have flashbacks - I would think if you frame it a certain way kids say know "this was in the past" - in the Abby story so we can know it had a beginning, middle and an end just like a storybook. Once the concept is explained, *then* they can go over more of the raw emotions.

It would have been too scary if Mr. Hooper had called the grandMuppets and said goodbye hours before his death, like my grandpa 14.5 years ago. However, it would have scared kids needlessly (callings omeone won't kill them) and painted an unrealistic picture (not everyone gets the chance to saya last goodbye). Afterward, though, in a flashback or remembering it after the fact of his deth has been set up, maybe it could hve worked.

Some of this is, of course speculation - I don't know how how a tweaked Snuffy Plan would have worke. However, I do know that there's one very good reason I think they used Abby, one that I'm surprised nobody on here has mentioned yet. (Someone did bring up the bird with two nests, though, which I also recalled.) It's a reason that I thought would be the first thing they'd have thought of.

Magic can't solve it.