My anxiety had been fine for a while, but, since Friday my anxiety has been really high and well, its because on Friday I went to take my written drivers test and failed for the second time and I didn't fail because I didn't know the material, I failed because I was given 10 minutes to do 50 questions and time ran out, plus the lady who directed me to the computer never told me to put on the headphones there which read the questions to you! I cried for the longest time on Friday and pretended to be better a few hours later and have pretended to feel fine since then when I don't feel fine at all. I feel inferior because my best friend drives and so do many other of my friends and the ones who don't drive have recently gotten their permits. I feel stupid and slow. Also, I didn't like how rude the DMV ladies were! I'm very big on lets forget it and move on, but, I can't forget this, I feel sorry for myself and am wollowing in self-pty because I never had my chance to when this 'wound' per say was fresh. I just want to cry and let it out some more, but when I start everyone who sees me tells me not to cry, well, I NEED TO! I'd also like to scream, but I can't do that for several reasons, the main one being that I don't want nodes on my vocal chords (I have done my share of screaming over the years, trust me)
I feel my heart in my throat and just really don't want to deal with anything right now and what's getting me more worked up is my dad's need to move my stuff! I said I would clean my room and that means I will, he moved things to places where they should never be, such as my make-up cases, they should NEVER be placed under the sink because if it leaks that's alot of MY money going to waste and I'll have to replace it all! Not just that, but, he also feels the need to open my door a crack, not to enter my room or anything but, I have my door shut all the way and then next thing I know, it gets opened the slightest bit and I hear my dad's footsteps outside.Igetthat he means well, but, all I WANT IS SOME SPACE! I need to experience my emotions, let it ALL out and then feel free to bother me about anything! Let me get back to functioning correctly and then we'll talk! GAH!