TMS fic: Growing Together

[Ruahnna]

Um, the BEST peanut-butter-and-pickle sandwich is a grilled (toasted, if you prefer) peanut-butter sandwich with DILL pickles. No. Seriously. Good stuff. (And Jalepeno pickles are pretty darn good with it, too.)

 

[Ozymandias]

I love that Brian's able to switch sandwiches. It makes sense that he has that technology, but I never thought about it until now.

This. I started giggling at the line where Gonzo tells Brian to switch sandwiches because it's going to be hard to talk with the peanut butter. XD Your characterization is AWESOME, and I simply cannot wait for the duet between Weird Al and Miss Piggy to go down.

 

[Slackbot]

Puckrox - Glad you liked the sandwich gag. You'd think that Brian would find another way to communicate that doesn't interrupt lunch. Maybe someone has an ouija board.

Ruahnna - Now I'm gonna have to try peanut butter and pickles. If it turns out nasty, I'm gonna come after you.

Ozymandias - Glad you're liking it so far! I've got a lot of goofiness planned for the show, some of it involving obscure Al lore.

 

[Slackbot]

Growing Together​

Part 5: Reluctant Musicians​

by Kim McFarland​

*****

The lights dimmed, and the audience chatter died down. The Muppet Show logo was lowered in front of the curtains. Kermit, standing on a platform on its back, opened the door in the O. Bright stage lights shining in his face, he announced, "It's the Muppet Show! With our very special guest star, Weird Al Yankovic!" He cheered and waved his arms. The orchestra started playing a familiar tune, and the logo rose again into the flyspace. While the Muppets sang and danced the opening theme, Kermit hopped onto the catwalk, hurried down a ladder on the side, and popped into his place in the center of the arches for the ending of the song. When the logo lowered again, Gonzo was standing on the platform, holding his trumpet. Kermit could only see his back as he raised the instrument. What came out was an incongruous quacking sound. Ducks swarmed him from all directions.

The red curtains swung closed, and Kermit hopped out in front of them. "Welcome to The Muppet Show! Tonight we have a real treat for you. Our guest star is Weird Al Yankovic! He-" Kermit glanced around the stage as if searching for someone. "Weird Al?"

A frizzy-haired head peered out from the right wings. Al looked at the audience, then at Kermit, then at the audience again. He smiled weakly and waved, then walked onstage with an exaggerated show of resignation.

Kermit did not seem to notice his guest star's reluctance. He said, "Al, we've been wanting to have you on the show ever since we've known of you. This is a dream come true."

Hands behind his back, Al deadpanned, "I've had dreams like this too."

Kermit told the audience, "In fact, Al has agreed to write a special song just for us. So, ladies and gentlemen, Weird Al Yankovic!" Kermit gave another arm-waving cheer, then cleared the stage.

A microphone stand rose from the orchestra pit. Weird Al caught it without looking down. In the pit, Rowlf played the piano riff that opened I Will Survive. Floyd struck a chord on his guitar, and the lights dimmed, leaving Al in the center of a spotlight. He drew in a breath, then began to sing melodramatically,

"At first I was aghast, I was mortified,​

When Kermit and the Muppets made me swallow my pride.​

They made it clear that unless I wrote them some lame parody​

There wouldn't be​

A place on the show for me.​

The music picked up speed and the stage lights brightened. Weird Al sang more energetically,

"I tried to make... them understand,​

I am an artist, you can't make me crank this stuff out on demand!​

I am not your monkey boy and you are not the boss of me.​

But if I have to stroke your egos​

For some cheap publicity-​

I'll write this song... under duress.​

Just goes to show ya... extortion really works, I guess.​

You think I'd blow them off and kiss this spot goodbye?​

Did you think I'd say no... 'cause I'm such a principled guy?​

Oh no, not I!​

I will comply,​

Although frankly, I would rather jam a needle in my eye.​

Can't believe I'd sink this low​

To get on this silly show.​

Yeah, I'll comply.​

I will comply!​

Oy vey!"​

When the music ended Weird Al bowed exaggeratedly to the audience, and kept bowing until the curtains opened behind him, revealing a tank full of ominously bubbling liquid, a machine with lots of blinking lights and a big flip switch, and a trio of hens in spangled costumes. Then Al turned around, did a double take when he saw the set for the next act, and scampered offstage.

Kermit met him in the wings. "That was great, Weird Al!" The other Muppets who had been watching rhubarbed their agreement.

Grinning widely, he said, "Thanks! And, please, just call me Weird."

"Hey, that's my nickname!" Gonzo, on his way to the stage, exclaimed.

"Whatever, weirdo," Sam the Eagle muttered.

"That too!"

*

Gonzo, wearing a suit of shiny green plastic and a set of protective goggles, ran onstage and said, "Greetings, fans of daredeviltry! Prepare to be amazed and at the same time educated! Today I, The Great Gonzo, will immortalize myself by bronzing my own nose while reciting the Gettysburg Address!" He turned toward the chickens. "Ladies! The leads!"

Two of the hens, each with a cable that ended in an alligator clip in her beak, fluttered over to him. They set the leads in his hands. Gonzo attached one to a small, shiny bar. "The bronze rod!" He dropped it into the liquid. "The tub of metal salts!" He clipped the other lead to one of his fingers. "And finally, ladies, the current!" All of the chickens pulled on the lever. When it didn't swing immediately one of them flew up onto the end and landed hard. It flipped down, sending the chickens tumbling across the stage, squawking and dropping feathers.

When the current hit Gonzo he jerked, then cackled and plunged his nose into the tank. The liquid didn't harm him; his nose was coated with transparent conductive material to enable the metal to adhere. "Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal—"

Al and numerous Muppets watched from the wings. Gonzo's stunts were entertaining whether they succeeded or failed. Scooter had his cell phone in his hand, ready to press the final 1 in 911. Even Sam the Eagle was watching, one hand on his heart and a tear in his eye.

"—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." Gonzo stood up, lifting his nose out of the tank to reveal its shiny, coppery coating. "Ta-daaaah! Thank you!"

The curtains closed. A group of rats went out in front of them to perform a dramatic reenactment of the judgment of Solomon, with a wedge of cheese as the object of the dispute. Meanwhile, behind the curtains, the tank and machine were rushed off and straw bales and a fence were set in their place. Gonzo barreled past the others and into the canteen crying, "Quick, Gladys! Butter! Melted butter! Lots of it!"

"No can do," Gladys replied.

"I'm serious! I need it now!"

She looked at him. "Anyone else, I would ask what for. Sorry, I'm all out of butter."

Gonzo said, "How can a canteen be out of butter?"

"Today's breakfast special was poached eggs with hollandaise sauce. It was more popular than I expected."

"Wow, what're the odds?" Gonzo said to himself.

*

Scooter glanced over his shoulder. The jug band was ready. Almost. "Bubba's still not here?" he asked?"

"Nope. He musta hitchhiked down the wrong side of the highway again," Slim, the guitar player, replied.

"Okay. Take your places," he told them. He picked up a vest and hat he'd dug out of Costuming just in case and crossed behind the curtains to backstage left. "Jan, you're on."

"Huh?" Janken glanced over questioningly.

"Bubba's a no-show. You're up."

Janken's eyes widened. "Me?" he squeaked.

"Yes, you. Who else has been playing the jug all week? Here." He held the hat and vest out.

"But I don't—I work the cameras!" Janken said.

Scooter glanced over his shoulder at the stage. The cheese had been sliced in two, so the act was nearly finished. Janken had made no move to get up from the console. Scooter exclaimed, "You're the understudy, remember?"

"But that was just for the rehearsals! Who's going to work the cameras?!"

"I am! Come on, I don't have time for this! Go!"

Shocked, Janken got up and took off his jacket. Then he dashed to the stage, trying to thread an arm through the vest without dropping the straw hat.

Scooter sat down. On the monitors he saw Janken sit down on a hay bale and pick up the jug, then turn it in his hands so he could thread a thumb through the handle. His tail was twitching, and the fur on the end was puffed out like a dandelion. Scooter caught a glimpse of his terrified expression before he pulled the hat down low enough for the brim to cover his eyes and half his face.

*

Janken heard the curtain rise and felt the added heat of the stage lights on his bare legs. He knew how futile it was to try not to think about the people in the audience. At least he could avoid looking at them.

Zeke played an introduction on his banjo, and everyone joined in on guitar, fiddle, jaw-harp, and guitar. Those whose mouths were not occupied by an instrument began singing.

"Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles,​

Cats in the gutters, cats in the aisles,​

Cats all yowlin' 'round for miles,​

But the hedgehog can never be bothered at all!"​

Janken was thankful for the song they were playing. He was a Fraggle; music came naturally to him. No matter how bad you felt, you knew where you were with a song. It was a peculiar one, describing the odd habits of various animals and how fortunate the hedgehog was not to be inconvenienced by them. The audience laughed, but not at parts of the song that were funny. In fact, they laughed at his brief jug solo during the bridge. It couldn't have been that funny! The laughter made him even more nervous.

After several subjective hours the song ended, the curtains closed, and the heat from the stage lights faded. Janken took off the hat—they were already rushing scenery off to prepare for the next act—and escaped to safety backstage left.

When Janken, slipping out of the vest, approached, Scooter got out of the seat. Janken went past without speaking or even looking at him, sat down, and put his denim jacket on again.

Scooter wanted to say something to him. But the Fraggle was hunched over the console as if hoarding or protecting it, the end of his tail bottle-brushed and whipping back and forth. He was really upset. Scooter felt bad now—but else could he have done?

Unable to find anything to say, Scooter turned and went back to the crossover to backstage right. The show must go on.

*****

All characters except Janken and Weird Al Yankovic are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLC. I Will Comply is copyright Weird Al Yankovic, and Weird Al Yankovic is, of course, copyright himself. All copyrighted characters and people are used without permission but with much respect and affection. Janken is copyright © Kim McFarland negaduck9@aol.com), as is the overall story. Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.

 

[Slackbot]

Drat. I forgot to mention in the copyright section that I Will Comply is an unrecorded parody written for Entertainment Weekly. I did a few tweaks to make it applicable to The Muppet Show. Here is the original version.

 

[The Count]

On the sixth fanfic I've read today...
I give Kim six country bumpkin jughuggers.

Glad to see the show finally off and running.
Have to say you explained the opening quite well, that was one of the moments that made me happy light up from the movie.
Can definitely hear Weird Al belting that song as part of his routine.
Gonzo's act went off without a hitch... Well, except for the butter needed to remove the bronzing from his schnoz.
The rats reenactment of Solomon, cute and chucklish.
*Feels bad for Janken getting that kind of unnerving from his first onstage performance. *Got a vibe of "Precious" when he haunched over the camera console afterwards.

Thanks. More please!

 

[Ruahnna]

Just wanted to jump in and say I'm still reading. I'm sorry Janken got so discombobulated by performing--it is no picnic being the significant other of someone in showbiz, which can (and does) take a toll on most relationships. It's a shame that someone so musically talented gets upset performing outside of his species--the world needs more Fraggle music (and musicians!)

 

[Slackbot]

On the sixth fanfic I've read today...
I give Kim six country bumpkin jughuggers.

If all six showed up, Janken would be off the hook.

Have to say you explained the opening quite well, that was one of the moments that made me happy light up from the movie.

I agree. There were a lot of little things happening backstage during the movie--Kermit about to open the door, Sweetums high-fiving one of the Atrics, everyone joining hands before stepping onto the stage--that made it that much more real for me. The bits with the logo were definitely a rip-ff of inspired by the movie.

Gonzo's act went off without a hitch... Well, except for the butter needed to remove the bronzing from his schnoz.

You know Gonzo, though. If something goes wrong, he'll work with it. When life hands you lemons, make hollandaise sauce.

Thanks. More please!

Quoth the Mean Genie, "Your command is my wish!"

I'm sorry Janken got so discombobulated by performing--it is no picnic being the significant other of someone in showbiz, which can (and does) take a toll on most relationships. It's a shame that someone so musically talented gets upset performing outside of his species--the world needs more Fraggle music (and musicians!)

Heh, "discombobulated is a good word to describe his state. Actually, it's not that he's afraid of performing for Silly Creatures from Outer Space; he has performance anxiety in general. Most Fraggles can "sing from the heart"--put one's feelings into words--at the drop of a hat; it's a vital form of communication for them. Janken can't do that, at least when anyone's around. He was the quietest roadie the Minstrels ever had.

 

[Slackbot]

Growing Together​

Part 6: Method Acting​

by Kim McFarland​

*****

The curtain went up on the second half of the Muppet Show, revealing the set for the first act: a Pigs in Space skit. The announcer intoned: "Pigs in Spaaaace! Featuring the osmotic Captain Link Hogthrob, the recidivistic First Mate Miss Piggy, and the inimical Doctor Junius Strangepork. When last we left them, our stalwart crew were facing their very first First Contact."

"Well, here we are, facing our very first First Contact," Link stated importantly.

Piggy declared, "What a historic moment! Our names will be immortalized for all time!"

Link turned to the side and asked, "Er, Dr. Strangepork, how does one go about making a first contact?"

"Let me see." Strangepork picked up a worn paperback and began thumbing through it.

"What's that?" Piggy asked, leaning forward to look past Link.

Strangepork held up the paperback and answered, "Trek Wars. I have them all."

Enthusiastically Link said, "I used to watch that all the time! Do you mean there are books too?"

"Oh, hundreds of them! I have them all."

Link lowered his voice. "Even the one with the planet full of, ah, pastel-colored women?"

"Which one?"

As her two crewmates exchanged schoolboy snickers Piggy said, "Knock it off! We're meeting a hitherto unknown form of life, and you're reading space operas?"

Strangepork replied, "Why not? Nobody's ever done it before, so it won't be in the regulation book."

"And these are more fun to read too," Link added.

Sarcastically Piggy asked, "Oh really? Well, what does that book tell ya to do? Put on your dress uniforms and invite 'em over for tea?"

The viewscreen on the back wall lit up. A blurry image of an alien creature appeared on it. One had to assume it was a creature, as it was unlikely that a trash heap would broadcast itself. It said in a raspy, slightly muffled voice, "Actually, I could really go for some buttered toast. In fact, you can skip the toast. I sure could use some butter."

Piggy stared. Link raised one hand and began, "Greetings from the realm of Known Space. This is the starship Swinetrek, and I am Captain Link Hogthrob. We come in peace."

The alien presence replied, "Good to meet'cha. Do you have Earl Gray?"

Strangepork replied, "But of course. We are an advanced civilization, after all."

"Cool. I'll be right over. Don't forget the butter!"

Link turned to piggy and said, "First Mate, would you be a dear and get the tea?"

She snarled back, "How about you be alive and get it yourself?"

Link cringed. "Yes, ma'am."

As link hurried out the exit the announcer said, "Tune in next week for Tea in Spaaaace!"

*

Backstage, Gonzo pulled off the costume, which had been made from remnants of superannuated props, costumes, and general backstage debris. He was over on stage left, standing in a small set that had been cobbled quickly together so it could be projected onto the Pigs in Space viewscreen. It had been filmed by a cheap webcam, which was plugged into the camera console. Because of that the image quality was pretty low, but that was appropriate for the skit. It saved them the complication of superimposing static.

Janken pressed a button and unplugged the webcam. He heard Gonzo go back to the backstage crossing. He did not look over. He had spent the intermission at the console, checking and rechecking the cameras instead of taking a break with the rest of the Muppets. Nobody had come over to say anything to him.

*

When Gonzo arrived at backstage left Kermit asked, "Butter?"

Gonzo said, "It's been on my mind."

"Oh."

"Wait! I have an idea," Gonzo exclaimed. He ran off toward the scenery department. Both Scooter and Kermit watched him go. They looked at each other for a beat. Then Scooter said, "We're doing good for time. We won't need to cut anything or vamp."

"Good. Say, I haven't seen Fozzie around for a while. Where is he?"

At that moment a dressing room door on the balcony opened. Weird Al, now wearing a dark suit, and Fozzie, wearing a fedora and polka-dotted tie, stepped out. Al was saying, "Then I said, I ordered two pounds of haddock, not halibut!"

Fozzie slapped the railing and said, "Aaaah! Halibut! Sure you don't mean cod?"

Weird Al replied, "As cod is my witness, I didn't!"

Kermit grinned.

*

Weird Al watched the acts he was not in from the wings, joking around with Fozzie and whoever else was nearby and generally enjoying himself. Shortly before the final act, Miss Piggy emerged from her dressing room. She glided down the steps—not the easiest task when wearing high heels—and asked, "Do you like it, Monsieur Al?"

She was wearing a blue satin dress that draped off one shoulder. The fabric fell in loose, light waves, making it look somewhat like a toga, but much more flattering. Her ringleted hair was pulled up into a tiara. Her gloves were of the same fabric and color as the dress. The entire ensemble was sweetened with rhinestones here and there, which would glitter in the stagelight. He said, "You look wonderful."

She preened. "Thank you, dear. I took the liberty of adding a pedestal to the set. Trés metaphorique." She posed, one arm in the air, like a Greek statue. "I shall be your muse."

Al nodded appreciatively. "Great. I can't wait to see what you do."

"I shall, of course, react to the song as if it's my first time hearing it," she answered. "I believe in method acting."

The curtains closed, and various Muppets rushed the next set onto the stage. This didn't take long, as it consisted of only the pedestal, a small platform upstage, and a dark backdrop. Al took his mark, as did Pepe, Rowlf, and Clifford. Miss Piggy walked over to the pedestal, looked up, and said "Someone got a ladder?"

"Here ya go," Sweetums said. he picked her up around the waist and set her down on top of the column.

"Watch the hands!" She snarled and swatted at him, but only hit long, shaggy hair.

Backstage left, Rizzo was holding a rat-sized clipboard. He said to the other Muppets on that side, "Last chance for bets!"

Floyd said, "Five on verse seven."

"Ya think? I'll give ya seven to one. Put ya down? All right."

"You're nuts," said a blue Whatnot. "Fourth verse."

"That's the favorite. I can only give ya two to one. Hey, Janken, wanna get in on this?" Rizzo said, looking over his shoulder. The Fraggle shook his head without looking away from the monitors. Rizzo shrugged. "Suit yerself."

Kermit took the stage and said, "We all know Weird Al Yankovic as the master of zany song parodies. However, he has another side. A side that sings touching love ballads like this." He gestured to the curtains, which pulled open. Weird Al was upstage, behind a microphone stand. Pepe, Clifford, and Rowlf, all wearing similar dark suits, were on the platform, and Piggy was posed on the pedestal, one hand raised, smiling sweetly at the audience.

As the music began and Pepe, Clifford, and Rowlf sang a wordless chord and began snapping their fingers, Weird Al took the microphone from the stand, which collapsed. He gazed longingly at Miss Piggy and sang,

"Well, I heard that you're leaving,​

Gonna leave far behind.​

'Cause you found a brand new lover,​

You decided that I'm not your type."​

Miss Piggy favored him with a brief glance, then turned away in an attitude of haughty disdain.

"So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex,​

And I tore all your pictures in two,​

And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go​

Just because it reminds me of you."​

The lighting took on a yellow, flickery tone for a moment before returning to normal.

"That's right, you ain't gonna see me crying,​

I'm glad that you found somebody new.​

'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass ​

Than spend one more minute with you.​

Startled, Miss Piggy glanced at him, then returned to her original pose. Gazing up at Miss Piggy, Weird Al continued to sing,

"I know I may seem kinda bitter,​

You got me feeling down in the dumps ​

'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love ​

And I have to use the self-service pumps!"​

The audience laughed at Piggy's startled expression. Backstage, Rizzo held out his hand and made grabby motions with his fingers. The Whatnot put several dollars into it. Seemingly oblivious to Miss Piggy's glowering, Al sang with ever-increasing passion,

"Oh, so, honey, ​

Let me help you with that suitcase.​

You ain't gonna break my heart in two.​

'Cause I'd rather have a hundred-thousand paper cuts on my face​

Than spend one more minute with you.​

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork ​

Than watch you going out with other men.​

I'd rather slam my fingers in a door ​

Again and again and again and again and again."​

Pepe did not falter in his doo-wop routine, to his credit, though he did glance over at the left wings. He had bet some big ones on verse six.

"Oh can't you what I'm trying to say, darlin'-​

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches,​

Or shove an ice-pick under a toenail or two.​

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue​

Than spend one more minute with you."​

Backstage right, Floyd let out a low whistle. "Man, Miss Hamhocks is really holdin' out."

Excitedly Rizzo said, "She's savin’ it up, just watch. You don't give her enough credit!"

"She's got Visa, American Express, and Diner's International for that," Floyd said, and laughed.

Miss Piggy was doing a good impression of a diva barely holding herself back from whacking her co-star, and the audience loved it. With every face she made there was fresh laughter. Weird Al continued,

"I'd rather jump naked on huge pile of thumbtacks​

Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy-Glue,​

I'd rather dive in a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades ​

Than spend one more minute with you.​

I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands ​

And throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die.... ​

He drew a deep breath, then gazed into Piggy's eyes and sang adoringly,

"Than spend one more minute with you."​

Miss Piggy leaned forward, as if to kiss him, then whirled. "Hiii-YAAH!" Weird Al doubled over like a jackknife just as the curtains closed. As soon as they were shut Scooter rushed forward. "Are you okay, Al?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, wheezing slightly. "I'm glad she pulled that punch."

Miss Piggy said sweetly to Al, "Oh, dear. I may have misjudged a teeny bit. My balance was off because of this column. Do forgive me?"

"No problem. I was expecting worse, actually." She had given him enough warning with her war cry to roll with the punch.

Sweetums ambled by, grabbed Miss Piggy by the waist, set her on the ground, and walked off with the pedestal before she recovered enough from her shock to belt him, this time without pulling the punch. Scooter said, "Kermit's started the farewell! You're on, Al!"

Kermit was saying, "Well, we have all survived to the end of another Muppet show I think so let's have a big round of applause for our guest star and all-around good sport who wouldn't think of suing us, Weird Al Yankovic!" Al walked around the curtain and out in front just as Kermit was cheering for Weird Al. Al waved cheerfully. Kermit said, "Sorry about that chop at the end. No hard feelings? I hope?" he finished with a very worried look.

Al assured him, "Nah, not at all. In fact, I'm going to have Miss Piggy autograph my bruise."

Miss Piggy sauntered onto the stage and told him, "I'll be glad to. Where's my tattoo gun?" Then she put an arm around Kermit and said, "See, I told you not to worry, Kermie. You never had anything to fear from your competition." She shot Al a dark look. Al cringed appropriately.

The orchestra began to play the closing theme as the other Muppets who had been in the show crowded onstage to mug and goof around. Gonzo’s nose was thicker than normal, and an odd shade of blue; he had painted over the bronze with some of the set paints. Only Rizzo remained offstage, delightedly counting his money. Only one person had bet that she would last until the end of the song without chopping him and that was himself. He had given astronomical odds, and now he'd have a huge payoff! "Sometimes," he said gleefully to himself, "Showbiz really pays!"

*

There was little cleanup to do after this show; somehow they had managed to string together a whole show's worth of acts that did no significant damage or left much debris. Janken had finished verifying that all the footage had been saved and was shutting down the camera console when he heard Scooter's sneakers.

Scooter saw the Fraggle's tail curl under. That tail was better than a mood ring. He said, "About the jug band thing..."

Staring at the console, Janken answered, "About that... I'm sorry. I didn't take it seriously when you asked me to understudy. I thought you were joking. It won't happen again."

Scooter had been... not exactly prepared for, but anticipating an argument with Janken. He had not expected him to bow under without even arguing. Scooter said, "There wasn't any other way."

Janken met his eyes. "I know. And you don't need backtalk from me when you're trying to stage manage the show. I'm sorry. It was unprofessional. I won't flake out on you again."

"If Bubba doesn't show, you'll do it again?"

"Yeah. I made a promise, even if I wasn't paying attention when I did. Only a dimp breaks his promises." He drew in a breath. "But I sure hope he shows up."

Janken looked like he needed some comforting. Scooter put his arm around Janken's shoulders and said, "Thanks. I didn't think it'd be so hard for you. Everyone else shoehorned themselves onto the stage first chance they got."

Janken smiled weakly. "Guess I'm not your typical Muppet. No hard feelings?"

"Nah." Scooter kissed Janken's cheek.

"Um... did I do all right?"

"Sure. You were fine. With the hat covering your face, nobody could tell you were nervous."

"Then what was so funny?"

Scooter grinned. "Your tail."

"My tail?"

"Yeah. A couple of times your tail went up behind you, and it was shaking. It looked like a rattlesnake wearing a wig was sneaking up on you."

Despite himself, Janken had to smile at that. "Wouldn't you know it. I'm funny when I'm scared. Let's go."

The two walked out to the back, where the other Muppets were piling into the Electric Mayhem's bus. As Janken mounted his bike Scooter patted him on the back and said, "See you tomorrow."

"See you," Janken said with a smile that was less strained, and pedaled away.

Scooter entered the bus and took the seat in front of Kermit. He turned around and asked, "The cab come get Al?"

"Yeah." The frog lowered his voice and said, "What was Rizzo doing on the other side of the stage?"

"Gee, chief, I didn't see," Scooter answered with an air of utter innocence.

Kermit might have pursued the matter, but at that moment Miss Piggy sat beside him and put her arm around him. Scooter turned back around. The bus rumbled and started forward. Kermit glanced up at Miss Piggy. She looked calm, but he could feel the tension in her arm. She had joked afterward about her song with Al, but he knew her well enough to guess that her reactions hadn't been rehearsed. But, well, she had hung on, and afterward treated it as a joke, so all would be well. He hoped.

*****

All characters except Janken and Weird Al Yankovic are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLC. One More Minute is copyright Weird Al Yankovic, and Weird Al Yankovic is, of course, copyright himself. All copyrighted characters and people are used without permission but with much respect and affection. Janken is copyright © Kim McFarland (negaduck9@aol.com), as is the overall story. Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.

 

[Ruahnna]

That's my girl--professional while performing, brutal afterward! (Waves arms around over head!)

Thought it was remarkably nice of Janken to apologize, but I'm a little sorry he didn't stand up for himself instead. If they are more than friends, Scooter should know him by now--at least, I think he should. But maybe Scooter has been misled by false claims of modesty so many times that he didn't actually recognize Janken's sincere one. At any rate, I'm glad they got things patched back up, and I'm glad Janken didn't blame Scooter for his perfectly necessary bullying. Show biz is not for wimps!

And tell Rizzo I have a bridge to sell him! (Or maybe just some pies!)