minor muppetz
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2005
- Messages
- 16,071
- Reaction score
- 2,655
Announcer: Welcome to The Stars of The Muppets, promoting the new movie The Muppets. And now, here is our host, Walter!
Walter: Hi, I'm Walter, and tonight, on The Stars of The Muppets, I am spotlighting the one and only Fozzie Bear!
(Fozzie's theme music plays as Fozzie enters the stage)
Fozzie Bear: Wocka wocka wocka! I am Fozzie Bear.
Walter: Yes, yes you are. And in this movie, you've got lots of great new jokes, right?
Fozzie Bear: Right. I have lots of funny new material. Here is a funny clip...
(Leads to the "fart shoes" clip)
Walter: (unsure of whether the bit was really that good) Well, uh, but nothing will ever beat your classics.
Fozzie Bear: Oh, I don't know. I try to be funnier each day. But one of my funniest jokes involved me and Kermit.
(Leads to "Good grief the comedians a bear!")
Walter: But your talents don't end at comedy.
Fozzie Bear: Of course not. I am also a good singer.
Walter: Yeah, I've heard you sing some great songs.
Fozzie Bear: And I certainly have got rhythym.
(Leads to "I've Got Rhythym")
Statler: What do we think of the bear?
Waldorf: He's awful!
Statler: He's lousy!
Waldorf: He's crummy!
Statler: I want my money back!
Waldorf: He's the worst!
Statler: Worst than Manny Kaye and Clive Chuenga.
Waldorf: Well, maybe he's not that bad.
Statler: In fact he like to hate him.
Waldorf: We never miss a show he's at.
Statler: Money well spent!
Waldorf: I think he's the greatest!
Statler: More!
(Leads to Fozzie's attempt to bury Statler and Waldorf with their heckling)
Walter: Let's talk with some of Fozzie's friends.
Kermit: Well, Fozzie certainly is reliable. The audience might leave during his acts, but he is a good friend, and he tries very hard.
Gonzo: I'd like to do an act with him. It'd be fun to get hit with vegetables.
Pepe: He can't be funny. He's a bear, okay.
Animal: BEAR FUNN-EE! BEAR FUNN-EE!
Rowlf: Me and Fozzie both tell our own jokes. Of course, did you know that he's also good at playing the piano?
(Leads to "English Country Garden")
Walter: As I understand it you once considered giving up comedy.
Fozzie Bear: Yeah, I wanted to be a weatherbear. I visited Willard Scott on the set of The Today Show to get some tips, and I got my chance, when I accidently locked Willard into the closet.
(Leads to Fozzie's weather report from The Jim Henson Hour)
Fozzie Bear: I have also been a master ventreloquist.
Walter: (skeptical) Really?
(Leads to Fozzie's venteloquism act)
Walter: Let's talk about some of the guest stars you have worked with.
Fozzie: Well, I have worked with some of the funniest. Like Avery Scrieber.
(Leads to:
Fozzie: When Phyllis Diller was on the show, she gave me some comedy tips.
(Leads to Phyllis Diller's talk spot)
Fozzie: And I also got to meet my idol, the king of the comics, Milton Berle.
(Leads to "Top Banana")
Walter: Let's now talk about your acting.
Fozzie: Well, one of my first acting roles was in a cowboy sketch. I did a great John Wayne imperosnation, although Kermit didn't agree with me.
(Leads to "Cowboy Time")
Walter: You also had the recurring role of Patrol Bear.
Fozzie: It was fun being a police officer, though I did have some problems with the criminals.
(Leads to "Bear on Patrol: Impersonating an Officer")
Walter: Another great role of yours was Squire Trelawney.
Fozzie: I enjoyed that role.
Walter: And Mr. Bimbo was very funny.
Fozzie: (a bit jealous) Well... Uh... I don't expect us to form a duo anytime soon.
(Leads to Squire Trelawney's first scene, explaining who Mr. Bimbo is)
Walter: And you were once the Cowardly Lion.
Fozzie: Yeah, my portrayal was one of the funniest.
Walter: But as the lion, you showed some great courage when escaping the enemies.
(Leads to The Cowardly Lion doing a comedy act for the Flying Monkeys)
Scooter: Fozzie Bear is the funniest. In fact, we once performed the classic Telephone Pole bit together.
(Leads to "The Telephone Pole Bit")
Fozzie: I can't believe you showed that one.
Walter: Me, either.
Fozzie: But a good part of my success goes to my writer, the legendary Gags Beasley!
Walter: You'd have to be living under a rock not to know of him or his "Banana Sketch".
Fozzie: I didn't know Kermit lived under a rock.
(Leads to:
Fozzie: But Kermit is the best friend a frog can have. He once let me help him plan the show.
(Leads to Floyd learning that Fozzie was responsible for planning the closing number)
Fozzie: The band was so thankful they made me an honorary hip dude.
(Leads to Floyd giving Fozzie his shades)
Fozzie: I got to show off my coolness to that night's guest star, Don Knotts.
(Leads to Don Knott's talk spot)
Fozzie: Unfortunately, the band didn't like how the closing number turned out, and they made me give them back my shades. But at least I can see again.
Walter: Well, as we can all tell, you have had a great career as a comedian.
Fozzie: You bet!
Walter: I'd like to be as funny as you someday.
Fozzie: Oh, but you are.
Walter: I am?
Fozzie: Yeah, just watch this clip.
(Leads to the title song from "Hey, You're as Funny as Fozzie Bear")
Walter: Well, that's our show. Thank you for watching...
Fozzie: And laughing!
Walter: Hi, I'm Walter, and tonight, on The Stars of The Muppets, I am spotlighting the one and only Fozzie Bear!
(Fozzie's theme music plays as Fozzie enters the stage)
Fozzie Bear: Wocka wocka wocka! I am Fozzie Bear.
Walter: Yes, yes you are. And in this movie, you've got lots of great new jokes, right?
Fozzie Bear: Right. I have lots of funny new material. Here is a funny clip...
(Leads to the "fart shoes" clip)
Walter: (unsure of whether the bit was really that good) Well, uh, but nothing will ever beat your classics.
Fozzie Bear: Oh, I don't know. I try to be funnier each day. But one of my funniest jokes involved me and Kermit.
(Leads to "Good grief the comedians a bear!")
Walter: But your talents don't end at comedy.
Fozzie Bear: Of course not. I am also a good singer.
Walter: Yeah, I've heard you sing some great songs.
Fozzie Bear: And I certainly have got rhythym.
(Leads to "I've Got Rhythym")
Statler: What do we think of the bear?
Waldorf: He's awful!
Statler: He's lousy!
Waldorf: He's crummy!
Statler: I want my money back!
Waldorf: He's the worst!
Statler: Worst than Manny Kaye and Clive Chuenga.
Waldorf: Well, maybe he's not that bad.
Statler: In fact he like to hate him.
Waldorf: We never miss a show he's at.
Statler: Money well spent!
Waldorf: I think he's the greatest!
Statler: More!
(Leads to Fozzie's attempt to bury Statler and Waldorf with their heckling)
Walter: Let's talk with some of Fozzie's friends.
Kermit: Well, Fozzie certainly is reliable. The audience might leave during his acts, but he is a good friend, and he tries very hard.
Gonzo: I'd like to do an act with him. It'd be fun to get hit with vegetables.
Pepe: He can't be funny. He's a bear, okay.
Animal: BEAR FUNN-EE! BEAR FUNN-EE!
Rowlf: Me and Fozzie both tell our own jokes. Of course, did you know that he's also good at playing the piano?
(Leads to "English Country Garden")
Walter: As I understand it you once considered giving up comedy.
Fozzie Bear: Yeah, I wanted to be a weatherbear. I visited Willard Scott on the set of The Today Show to get some tips, and I got my chance, when I accidently locked Willard into the closet.
(Leads to Fozzie's weather report from The Jim Henson Hour)
Fozzie Bear: I have also been a master ventreloquist.
Walter: (skeptical) Really?
(Leads to Fozzie's venteloquism act)
Walter: Let's talk about some of the guest stars you have worked with.
Fozzie: Well, I have worked with some of the funniest. Like Avery Scrieber.
(Leads to:
- Art gallery sketch
- Fozzie and Avery's "banana in ear" monologue
Fozzie: When Phyllis Diller was on the show, she gave me some comedy tips.
(Leads to Phyllis Diller's talk spot)
Fozzie: And I also got to meet my idol, the king of the comics, Milton Berle.
(Leads to "Top Banana")
Walter: Let's now talk about your acting.
Fozzie: Well, one of my first acting roles was in a cowboy sketch. I did a great John Wayne imperosnation, although Kermit didn't agree with me.
(Leads to "Cowboy Time")
Walter: You also had the recurring role of Patrol Bear.
Fozzie: It was fun being a police officer, though I did have some problems with the criminals.
(Leads to "Bear on Patrol: Impersonating an Officer")
Walter: Another great role of yours was Squire Trelawney.
Fozzie: I enjoyed that role.
Walter: And Mr. Bimbo was very funny.
Fozzie: (a bit jealous) Well... Uh... I don't expect us to form a duo anytime soon.
(Leads to Squire Trelawney's first scene, explaining who Mr. Bimbo is)
Walter: And you were once the Cowardly Lion.
Fozzie: Yeah, my portrayal was one of the funniest.
Walter: But as the lion, you showed some great courage when escaping the enemies.
(Leads to The Cowardly Lion doing a comedy act for the Flying Monkeys)
Scooter: Fozzie Bear is the funniest. In fact, we once performed the classic Telephone Pole bit together.
(Leads to "The Telephone Pole Bit")
Fozzie: I can't believe you showed that one.
Walter: Me, either.
Fozzie: But a good part of my success goes to my writer, the legendary Gags Beasley!
Walter: You'd have to be living under a rock not to know of him or his "Banana Sketch".
Fozzie: I didn't know Kermit lived under a rock.
(Leads to:
- Fozzie telling Kermit about his new writer.
- The Banana Sketch
- The others tease Kermit for not knowing of Gags Beasley or The Banana Sketch
Fozzie: But Kermit is the best friend a frog can have. He once let me help him plan the show.
(Leads to Floyd learning that Fozzie was responsible for planning the closing number)
Fozzie: The band was so thankful they made me an honorary hip dude.
(Leads to Floyd giving Fozzie his shades)
Fozzie: I got to show off my coolness to that night's guest star, Don Knotts.
(Leads to Don Knott's talk spot)
Fozzie: Unfortunately, the band didn't like how the closing number turned out, and they made me give them back my shades. But at least I can see again.
Walter: Well, as we can all tell, you have had a great career as a comedian.
Fozzie: You bet!
Walter: I'd like to be as funny as you someday.
Fozzie: Oh, but you are.
Walter: I am?
Fozzie: Yeah, just watch this clip.
(Leads to the title song from "Hey, You're as Funny as Fozzie Bear")
Walter: Well, that's our show. Thank you for watching...
Fozzie: And laughing!