Unofficial Script Review of the New Muppet Movie

[dwayne1115]

I can't believe it's taken me this long to weigh in on this topic, but better late than stuck in a cannon with Gonzo!

When I was growing up with the muppets--yep, that's my REAL age there--the Kermit/Piggy romance was to SWOON over.

Were they hopelessly smitten?
Yep.
Were they professionally competitive?
You betcha!
Was Kermit snarky? Did Piggy hi-ya him into next week (or at least the next act)?
On a regular basis.
But did they CARE about each other.
Absolutely.

What the gods of muppetdom don't seem to understand is that Piggy mooning over Kermit while he acts like a complete jerk ISN'T very funny--it's fairly obnoxious. I find when Kermit does this he comes across as juvenile and mean. (And let's face it--Steve's Kermit is just less...grown up than Jim's. The humor's broader, not deeper. I'm not saying it's always bad. I'm just saying it's always SO.) Kermit comes across as especially hurtful and malicious when he makes (so many) completely uncalled-for carps about Piggy.

What made their relationship FUNNY was--no matter how often he denied it, argued about it or (tried to) fire her, it was obvious to US, to HER and to HIM that he was smitten and in waaaay over his head. Watching him back-pedal while he fell under her spell was GREAT. Watching him fall into the trap of love and writhe in it was better than a trashy romance.

I don't know if I can explain this, but I'm assuming most of you know about the evolution of the character of Fozzie Bear. Originally, he was just supposed to be this obnoxious comic who told unfunny jokes and didn't know he stunk. That was the character as (loosely) defined for TMS. The problem was--it wasn't funny. Bad jokes being told badly by someone with no shame just wasn't entertaining. (Huh--go figure.) What finally made the character work--and work wonderfully, you wonderful, snuggly bear!--was when Frank was doing Fozzie and bombing and he blurted out something along the lines of "Please laugh! Please like me!" (Okay--somebody who's a purist find the article I remember this from and give the absolutely letter-perfect quote. I can't. I remember the gist of the article.) Suddenly, when Fozzie reveals his vulnerability, the audience felt their crunchy-candy-shell hearts begin to melt. Oh! Look--he NEEDS us! And the audience began to root for Fozzie, to WANT him to be funny even while not really expecting him to be. So what is the point of this story in THIS thread?
Well, this.
Being a jerk to a girl (or a pig) who loves you is just proving you're a jerk. But trying hopelessly, desperately to not be swept off your feet by an epic romance designed to hit you at your weakest point is proving that, under all that felt, there's the heart of a great lover. You know--the LOVERS, the dreamers and me? That guy.

I guess I stayed away from this thread because I did not want to know how many new and different ways Kermit was going to find to attack the most amazing superstar of her era JUST for falling in love with him, but I'm feeling a little better about it now. The trailer has the following quote, from Kermit to Piggy:
"Maybe you don't need the whole world to love you. Maybe you just need one person."

Well, well, well. Maybe Kermit's finally decided to grow up.

I can see where your coming from, and I think your right. Just look at MTI, and AVMMXM these two movies really show that they both care deeply for each other, but like every relationship have there bumps in the road.
I have always felt that Kermit even though he will not admit it needs Piggy in his life, and Piggy needs Kermit. With Piggy however she trys and let Kermit shine in any situation or problem they may be in, and when for whatever reason if her frog can't shine she will do whatever it takes so that he shines. Kind of like the old saying behind every good frog is a great pig or something like that.

 

[RedPiggy]

Yeah, I'm with Ru on this one. What excited me about VMX was Kermit's seemingly epiphany that, for all the crap she gives him, he is really in love with her. A reluctant lover is one thing, but like Ru says, it began to feel like outright meanness. I woulda jumpkicked him too (of course, let's be fair, and note that Kermit deserves a couple shots at her because she repeatedly jerks his chain and runs off for "better" things ... I don't think he "gets" a lot of the time that she's just manipulating him in order to get her shining green knight to rescue her, though Kermit's reaction as everyone is begging [FINALLY] to get her back during VMX implies that he realizes all this running away is a sham).

The trailer where Kermit tenderly spins the Just One Person message into a romantic entreaty just makes me want to cry with happiness. After a decade or more of watching a dishonest relationship ... I'm ready for some upfront honesty for a change.

 

[dwayne1115]

Yeah, I'm with Ru on this one. What excited me about VMX was Kermit's seemingly epiphany that, for all the crap she gives him, he is really in love with her. A reluctant lover is one thing, but like Ru says, it began to feel like outright meanness. I woulda jumpkicked him too (of course, let's be fair, and note that Kermit deserves a couple shots at her because she repeatedly jerks his chain and runs off for "better" things ... I don't think he "gets" a lot of the time that she's just manipulating him in order to get her shining green knight to rescue her, though Kermit's reaction as everyone is begging [FINALLY] to get her back during VMX implies that he realizes all this running away is a sham).

The trailer where Kermit tenderly spins the Just One Person message into a romantic entreaty just makes me want to cry with happiness. After a decade or more of watching a dishonest relationship ... I'm ready for some upfront honesty for a change.

Me to I so want the Kermit and Piggy relationship to be right. Very few writers can seem to get the relationship right, and I think as fans we need to see that relationship right.

 

[RedPiggy]

The weird thing is, I can't imagine why this has been so hard. I mean, Fraggle Rock had the Gorg parents and Doozer parents, and all (IMHO) were incredibly well-written (heck, I LOVE writing them, myself, LOL). Fraggle Rock (and Dinosaurs) proved you could have committed couples and still have cool stories.

 

[Ruahnna]

My standard answer to THAT is THIS: The reason Hollywood doesn't know how to write good stories about what happens after you get happily married is that nobody in Hollywood KNOWs what happens after you get happily married.

They're waiting for someone to try it and tell them what it's like....

 

[Ruahnna]

Okay--I'm watching Muppet Classic Theater (with the sound off) and I just don't understand what they DON'T UNDERSTAND! Every time Kermit looks at her he is just dopey with lovey-doviness. If they can SHOW that--even SOME of the time, why can't they GET that? Arghh!

We got to get some frog/pig snogging. Got to.

 

[RedPiggy]

My standard answer to THAT is THIS: The reason Hollywood doesn't know how to write good stories about what happens after you get happily married is that nobody in Hollywood KNOWs what happens after you get happily married.

They're waiting for someone to try it and tell them what it's like....

*giggles*

 

[dwayne1115]

Aww I love Muppet Classic Theater! reading over this thread I really need to send Jim Lewis a e mail. Muppet Classic Theater is his favorit to.

 

[Drtooth]

Okay--I'm watching Muppet Classic Theater (with the sound off) and I just don't understand what they DON'T UNDERSTAND! Every time Kermit looks at her he is just dopey with lovey-doviness. If they can SHOW that--even SOME of the time, why can't they GET that? Arghh!

We got to get some frog/pig snogging. Got to.

The Kermit/Piggy dynamic should be explained in its own thread. The relationship has a lot of complexities that are over simplified... there's either annoying fat jokes or overly lovey dovey-ness.

To me, the relationship has always been that they both love each other, but Kermit finds Piggy's exuberant attitude and constant insistence that they're married off putting. He just wishes she'd calm down a little so they can go further in the relationship. Kermit isn't a commitmentphobe, he just has a very relaxed personality (that turns uptight quickly when things go bad, of course) and Piggy is far more energetic than he is... almost tiring. Plus, I like the hypocrisy on the part of Piggy who swoons to every hot male guest star they have, but she gets absolutely over the moon crazy jealous when Kermit shows some sort of kindness to a hot female guest. I like to think Kermit rarely gets jealous because he knows deep down Piggy loves him more than anything, and those are just harmless crushes.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Aww I love Muppet Classic Theater! reading over this thread I really need to send Jim Lewis a e mail. Muppet Classic Theater is his favorit to.

That and The Frog Prince were my favorites out of our Muppet videos when I was a kid.

We should start a petition to get that released on DVD.