I never know when to leave well enough alone, do I?
Muppets from Earth
Bonus Feature: Outtakes
By Kim McFarland
**
Sandwich: Hey, how ya doing?
[Everyone looks at Fozzie's plate. His sandwich is speaking instead of Gonzo's. Fozzie looks around at the others, then swaps plates with Gonzo.]
**
[Kermit and Gonzo are eating lunch in the back yard. Well, Kermit is eating the flies attracted by some honey on a plate, and Gonzo is sitting and looking pensive.]
Kermit: I gotta go back in and get with Piggy on an act she's planning. You coming in?
Gonzo: Nah, I'll stay out here a little longer.
Kermit: Okay. See you.
[Kermit picks up his plates and heads back to the house. Gonzo picks the up his sandwich. It wiggles and makes a muffled noise. Gonzo stares at it.]
Gonzo: [to someone off-camera] I don't think this was supposed to be grilled cheese.
**
Gonzo: Camilla, they didn’t know what they were talking about!
Camilla: [angry squawking, subtitled as:] And you will let them get away with it? You won’t stand up to them?
[The other hens growl, backing Camilla up.]
Rizzo: [aside] Talk about henpecked.
Gonzo: [to Rizzo] You don't know the half of it. [grins widely and waggles his eyelids ala Groucho Marx]
Rizzo: [pauses as that sinks in, then covers his eyes with one hand] I did
not want to know about that.
**
Monster official: By the power vested in me by this state, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss.
[Gonzo kneels, and he and Camilla kiss. For a while.]
Rizzo: Sheez, get a room, willya?
[Camilla, not breaking the kiss or even glancing away, makes a "shoo" gesture with one wing.]
**
[The Swedish Chef is doing his thing in the kitchen, and the rats are alert for the inevitable fallout. There is a knock at the door.]
Chef: Vem är det?
[The Chef opens the door. Brian, wearing a white suit and sunglasses, is standing there.]
Chef: Åh... Gönscho?
Brian: Er, I'm looking for Gonzo. Am I at the right place?
Rizzo: Hey, what's up with the suit? You're supposed to be dressed as a Man in Black.
Brian: What's wrong?
Rizzo: Men in black wear
black, not white.
[Brian looks down at his suit.]
Brian: Oops, sorry. Colorblind.