Controversial Topics

[frogboy4]

My Facebook Meeting Last March

I've never understood the need for internet meet-ups. I march to my own drum and people seem to respond to it. However, post break-up, one of my ex's dates found me on Facebook and used the "poke" feature. (That's a feature just to say hi to another FB member.) I didn't know a user could poke me without my having friended them first so I believed this to be a friend of a friend I had friended and eventually poked him back and started messaging.

I figured out who he was and we ended up having coffee and two fairly good dates. It didn't really go anywhere. He was really cute and interesting but not quite the maturity level that I appreciate. Apparently I was exactly the right type of guy on every front, but there was something off about this fellow that just didn't seem ready for dating and I don't think he's dated since.

This was my first kind of meeting somebody of potential romantic interest over the internet and although it was alright I know it's not for me. I've seen the guy out a few spots since and he still flirts me quite a bit. It's a little strange. Maybe he's shy or conflicted, but definitely not for me.

Nonetheless, it was nice harmless fun that I won't likely do again. I still easily meet people at the market, at restaurants or clubs with little effort. I guess Facebook was just another one of those public venues, but electronic. Still, it has made me a little more cautious.

 

[D'Snowth]

To be honest with you, I don't have a problem with online relationships, and I've know a number of successful ones, but -of coarse- you have to be so careful.

Yeah, I DID read about a successful internet hook-up/relationship in a Chicken Soup for Love book... but again, they seem mostly unconventional, disasterous, and often times end in flames.

Yet again, I hypocritically fell in love with an internet friend, who was already in a REAL relationship, but I managed to cut off contact with her before things got out of hand.

 

[Drtooth]

I've never understood the need for internet meet-ups. I march to my own drum and people seem to respond to it. However, post break-up, one of my ex's dates found me on Facebook and used the "poke" feature. (That's a feature just to say hi to another FB member.) I didn't know a user could poke me without my having friended them first so I believed this to be a friend of a friend I had friended and eventually poked him back and started messaging.

I figured out who he was and we ended up having coffee and two fairly good dates. It didn't really go anywhere. He was really cute and interesting but not quite the maturity level that I appreciate. Apparently I was exactly the right type of guy on every front, but there was something off about this fellow that just didn't seem ready for dating and I don't think he's dated since.

This was my first kind of meeting somebody of potential romantic interest over the internet and although it was alright I know it's not for me. I've seen the guy out a few spots since and he still flirts me quite a bit. It's a little strange. Maybe he's shy or conflicted, but definitely not for me.

Nonetheless, it was nice harmless fun that I won't likely do again. I still easily meet people at the market, at restaurants or clubs with little effort. I guess Facebook was just another one of those public venues, but electronic. Still, it has made me a little more cautious.

This is one of those "It works for Mr. X but it doesn't work for Mr. Y" type of deals. It depends on the person and how they react to social situations.

Personally, I don't really click with people well personally or digitally. This message board, my deviantArt and my Youtube Poop account are basically all I really have now. Sure, there were other message boards I lost interest in, and I have a Myspace which I used for 3 months. I almost got a Facebook just so I could friend Jon Arbuckle (an official account created by PAWS) and that was it but never did.

Problem is that I'm REALLY obsessive about cartoons and stuff that I'd talk someone's ear off about a subject they can't relate to, and I really have no major experiences outside of that I can relate to people with. Plus I was burned REALLY badly in Jr. High.

Even if things were hunky dory for me there, I just am not financially strong enough to actually take anyone on dates. I can't even afford McDonalds for myself. The time just isn't right for me there.

 

[RedPiggy]

Personally, I don't really click with people well personally or digitally.

That's my problem. I'm normally very sweet and try my best to be understanding, but I have a hard time keeping friends. I do better with the residents I take care of when I'm in healthcare. My family was mostly adults until my brother and cousin came along. I don't really get along with my age group.

This message board, my deviantArt and my Youtube Poop account are basically all I really have now.

MuppetCentral is really my biggest place, not counting beliefnet ... but I use beliefnet not really for socializing, but for debating. I started getting rather depressed when there were people who stopped talking to me here, as this is the only place where I can usually talk to people, but maybe there's a light ... you know, I'll just quote Gobo in the finale, "Maybe I'm not too late ... after all."

Problem is that I'm REALLY obsessive about cartoons and stuff that I'd talk someone's ear off about a subject they can't relate to, and I really have no major experiences outside of that I can relate to people with. Plus I was burned REALLY badly in Jr. High.

Agreed. I don't want to feel like I have to pay hundreds of dollars to attend a convention to be able to talk about my hopes and dreams and likes and dislikes. I was never really into sports (being short and kinda clutzy), I'm not a huge partier (I'm not even a little partier), and I'm a 30-yr-old virgin, LOL. I can't really relate to people I know IRL. They like American Idol. I like LOST. They like Sex and the City. I like Labyrinth. I was teased, beat up, and harassed in other ways since Kindergarten. Only in college did I feel as though I could get through the day without fearing for my safety ... and I went to the "good" schools! I had better friends that one time I attended a "rough" school led by two "villains". When my father went on a vindictive bent regarding life post-divorce, those two villains were the only people who hugged me when I thought I was going to lose everything. I'll never forget that, and it makes me tear up to this day.

Even if things were hunky dory for me there, I just am not financially strong enough to actually take anyone on dates. I can't even afford McDonalds for myself. The time just isn't right for me there.

I'm not very high maintenance, myself. Screw Jared's ... walk around a free park and I'm good. How could I trust the financial sense of someone who bought me a big rock for my finger when we need furniture or tools or new carpet?

 

[Kiki]

Hmm, I can understand where you guys are coming from. I can *somewhat* relate, to a degree. I guess I'm a bit of a mess *lol*. As I've mentioned many times, I attend an all-girls school. Honestly... it's not as bad as people think. Secondly, same-sex schools are really common here, I only know three co-ed schools not including one near my house where the kids do drugs in class (though primary schools are co-ed, like my old one). I've been teased for a long time, but I'm not really one to dwell on it, and I've grown to be resiliant, y'know? But obviously that doesn't make bullying alright, of coarse. Thesedays, luckily, I don't get teased. By the time you're in year eleven, most girls have just decided to give up, "what's the point of bullying", y'know? Obviously that's not the case with everyone, though. I often get weird looks, but I've grown accostomed to that sort of thing and -get this- I'm a teenage girl who *doesn't* crap on about how ugly or stupid they are! So therefore I think, 'who are you to judge?" It's not a bigheaded thing, I just don't see why so many teenage girls are so harsh on themselves, esp. when it's not genuine and it's just a pathetic ego thing. ANYWAY, one thing I've found -as many of your probably have- is that in the way of teenage girls, you don't know who you're friends are. I've had girls who have never talked to me in my life claim that I'm their best friend. I suppose it's better than the opposite, but I look back at my year nine yearbook, one of the worst school years ever because of my class (they weren't all bad, but the majority were pretty shocking), and I have girls who b*tched about me throughtout the whole year (behind my back, and apparently I have No Idea because obviously I'm Just Oblivious) who say all this hogwash like, Hey Katie, you're the nicest person ever, I hope we stay friends for life!, yadayadayada. That's one iffy thing sbout Facebook, you'll often have peeps trying to add you who otherwise wouldn't be caught dead talking to you (I don't have a Facebook, though- so I guess I can't say). >_>

That said, I don't believe I've ever really socialised with a teenage male, with the exception of my brother's mates, peeps online and maybe a couple of randoms on the bus. I can't relate to the majority of them, either (and relationship-wise, I like older >_>). I feel bad, because I must be picky or my expectations are too high or... something.

 

[Drtooth]

Agreed. I don't want to feel like I have to pay hundreds of dollars to attend a convention to be able to talk about my hopes and dreams and likes and dislikes.

Strange... I spend 50 something bucks to go to a convention to spend money. And of course, to watch Dracula: Sovereign of the D'd. Really. That is the second dumbest vampire movie ever.

I can't really relate to people I know IRL. They like American Idol. I like LOST. They like Sex and the City. I like Labyrinth. I was teased, beat up, and harassed in other ways since Kindergarten.

I gotta admit, I don't hate Sex and the City. My sister made me watch it last summer, and she really likes vulgar humor like that. She says "That's what she said" as much as Michael Scott. I see what you're getting at when you say hard to relate. When you can talk someone's ear off about Kinnikuman, Tensai Bakabon, and Kochikame, then you know you've got too much time on your hands to find stuff. I've always said that thing that Yukon Cornelious said on that Christmas special "How do you like that? Even among misfits, we're misfits."

Of course, it's not that I don't try shoving those things down people's throats. I like trying to get interest in obscure properties.

This really has gone from "Controversial Topics" to Personal topics, hasn't it. Worst part of it was, even though i was always treated like crap, it got horrid in Jr. High. I had "new Kid" syndrome till i graduated high school. And I really wish I didn't become so shy and introverted because of that. I Did manage to click sort of with people in college, but I never really hung with anyone. Nor did I collaborate on projects. but that last part was my own personal preference. Whenever I had to do a group project, no one took my ideas. But that's another story.

 

[RedPiggy]

LOL, I feel like we should all be in a well-furnished living room with some international coffee and expressing our feelings.

I once got into a debate about school harrassment on another site. The kids there said it wasn't as bad as "my day". Remember kiddies, this was before "zero tolerance". It was more like, "How could you accuse my little pumpkin? You deserve to be beat up!" Both my brother and I would get punished ... when our noses were put in the wall or our arms twisted in agony. The bullies ALWAYS got off scot-free. I grew up with the lesson that adults don't believe in justice except in lip service, if that.

Maybe it's not so bad that "Controversial" Topics became "Personal" Topics. After all, it's one thing to debate something that happened on the news. It's another to experience the controversial topic.

 

[Drtooth]

I once got into a debate about school harrassment on another site. The kids there said it wasn't as bad as "my day". Remember kiddies, this was before "zero tolerance". It was more like, "How could you accuse my little pumpkin? You deserve to be beat up!" Both my brother and I would get punished ... when our noses were put in the wall or our arms twisted in agony. The bullies ALWAYS got off scot-free. I grew up with the lesson that adults don't believe in justice except in lip service, if that.

Well, now you've just given me leeway for something more controversial.

Don't get me wrong. I'm Sooper thrilled that they're ctracking down on this stuff now... but the reason why bugs the ever loving censored out of me. The only reason why bullying came into light was because a modestly attractive female student committed suicide. Now, not that i don't feel sorry for her... but ever since that school shooting 10 years or so ago we should have been thinking "Holy Crap! That's what bullies do? We gotta do summat!" instead of "We need to card people for R rated movies." Considering the first R rated movie I was taken to was The Birdcage, I find that complete bunk. Like not seeing an R rated movie helped anything.

Problem with cases like that one, they have all these Monday Morning Quarterbacks saying "Oh, we should totally do something!" or "Never again!" then they forget after 3 months of being in the media spotlight, and it ALWAYS happens again. Heck, I bet if that girl killed someone else, we'd find some movie to blame or something, and let more kids get picked on because people LOVE to have a superiority complex.

I said it before... Bullies aren't all the cute and cuddley disturbed souls with secret sweetness like Gian, Binky Barnes, and Nelson Muntz. And they're also not these horribly tortured souls (old wives tale!)... sometimes they're just unbearable jerks that love to think they're better than everyone else by taking them down a peg. It happens.

But getting back to the main point, the only time something is a "tragedy" is when some modestly to very attractive white girl (usually blond) of any age gets lost, or under aged parties to death, or something. Family Guy was right on that one several years back. Bad things happen to ugly people (and people who aren't white) too. but then, no one cares.

 

[RedPiggy]

A lot of it probably stems from the myth that I was told as a kid: "They only beat you up because they feel bad about themselves."

Bullies aren't suffering from low-self-esteem. It's a myth. The psychological data is quite clear: they suffer from narcissism (extremely high self-esteem that isn't attuned to reality), borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, etc. The problem is that bullies think way too MUCH of themselves. They are the kid wanting to play God by holding a magnifying glass over ants on a sunny day, just to see the meaningless moving bodies suffer.

 

[ryhoyarbie]

You can classify bullies at any age, people you see, know, work with. They could even be your boss.


I think women in elementary/middle/high school are bullied by each other because of all the little cat fights they seem to have in my opinion.