S&W have a very special (small, but important) part in the film. Prepare to be surprised at how they factor in.
Let me guess, they'll watch the film in a movie theater first just like we will.
Staler: "So, what did you think of the movie?"
Waldorf: "It was awful!"
Statler: "Terrible!"
Waldorf: "Disgusting!"
Statler: "Boring!"
Waldorf: "So what to we do now?"
Statler: "We're gonna do what everyone else is gonna do right now!"
Waldorf: "What's that?"
Statler: "We go on Muppet fan sites and complain about it!"
Both: "Doh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
Trailer or not, stuff is (sorta) coming out merchandise-wise.
I thought a simple, cheap trailer would do. Something like this:
(Gonzo appears against a black backdrop.)
"Hello all you culture lovers! It's me, the Great Gonzo! And I'm here to tell you about the..." (looks into the audience, annoyed) "Hey! Turn your cell phone off! That's not polite! Didn't you read the sign in the movie theater?" (Continues to look into the audience, presumably at the troublemaker, then straight ahead).
"Excuse me, folks."
(Gonzo dips down out of sight)
(Offscreen): "Okay, c'mere you. You are going to apologize to all these people for talking on your phone during the...Rizzo?"
Rizzo (offscreen): "Yeah, yeah it's me."
Gonzo: "You get up here right now!" (Gonzo and Rizzo surface).
Rizzo: "Oh, hey! I can see everyone up heah! Hi!" (waves)
Gonzo: "Who were you talking to?"
Rizzo: "I wasn't callin' nobody! Da cell phone light's poifect for findin' crumbs and popcorn under da seats! Da guy in da second row just dropped half his Milk Duds!"
Gonzo (sighs at Rizzo, then addresses the audience): "Okay, like I said, I'm the Great Gonzo and we're here to tell you all about the new Muppet movie coming out really soon! It's really cool! It's got music and adventure and penguins and all of my friends! There's a new guy named Walter who--"
Rizzo (yelling to offscreen audience member): "Hey you wit' da nachos in da toid row! Stop crunchin' so loud and listen up! You can do dat during a
bad movie trailer!"
(Quick shot of Statler and Waldorf in a movie theater)
Statler: "At least
one person in this theater has some common sense! Doh ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
Rizzo: "Hey, Gonzo! We're almost out of time and dey don't even know da name of da movie yet! We ain't got a title screen!"
Gonzo: "Hey, no problem! I made up something better than a title screen. I made a title
sculpture!" (yells to someone offscreen) "Okay, Camilla! Bring it in!"
(Offscreen): "Bawk bawk!"
(Camilla slowly drives in a flatbed truck just behind Gonzo and Rizzo. On the flatbed is the title "The Muppets" in huge, wobbling letters).
Gonzo: "TA DA! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, "The Muppets" coming to a theater near you! It's awesome! It's funny! It's musical! It's cool! It's fun for the whole family! It's the very first title for a movie
ever carved out of a seven foot tall block of lime Jell-O!"
Rizzo (to audience): "Dis guy has da weirdest hobbies!" (Rizzo sighs, shakes his head and walks offscreen).
Gonzo (following Rizzo): "Well...Bill Cosby thought it was a good idea!"
(The lime Jell-O falls in a huge heap off the truck, revealing the Muppets Studio logo, then the Disney one).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Until we get an official trailer, that scenario will have to do for me.
Convincing John