The Muppets Economical Tale

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

The Muppets all had a meeting in the auditorium of The Muppet Theater.

"Okay, evrybody, sit down", said Kermit, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we will be able to put on another years worth of shows."

The Muppets all cheered.

"And the bad news is, with the economy the way it is, and the recent ticket sales, we're going to have to make some budget cuts."

Everybody gasped.

"Well, you can't fire moi", said Miss Piggy, "Unless you enjoy regular trips to the hospital."

And you can't fire me", said Scooter, "My uncle who owns the theater won't allow it."

"Well, we'll keep the big ticket-sellers", said Kermit, "Like Pigs in Space and the Electric Mayhem."

The Electric Mayhem and swinetrek crew all sighed in relief.

"I guess this won't be so bad after all", said Floyd.

"But we'll have to cut back on our less popular sketches", said Kermit, "So Louis Kazagger, we won't have Muppet Sports for awhile."

"Ohhhhh....", groaned Louis Kazagger.

"And believe it or not", said Kermit, "I think we might have to stop having guest stars."

"Well, we aren't in any danger of that", said Beauregard.

"Now, Kermin", said Pepe, "We will still be doing my new series of saucy mexican detective skits, right, okay?"

"Uh, no", said Kermit, "The sets haven't been built yet, and are estimated to be really pricey."

"Drats, okay!", groaned Pepe.

"Wait!", said Rizzo, "Suppose we dig the theater in search for burried treausre!"

Everyone seemed to agree with this idea.

"Uh, let's just save that for the comic book", said Kermit.

"You know", said Scooter, "I think there might be oil under the theater..."

"Uh, Scooter", said Kermit, "We'll just wait for our next movie to come out."

"I suggest that we get rid of all weird acts", said Sam, "Gonzo, you're OUT!"

"What's so weird about my material?", asked Gonzo.

"No, no", said Kermit, "Gonzo can stay. We need somebody to blow a trumpet during the theme song."

"I can do that", said Lips.

"You know, maybe we can try to have a fund raiser", said Fozzie.

"Here's one!", said Animal, turning on a razor and attacking Fozzie with it, "Fun razor! HAHAHAHA!"

"Yeah, we can sell some props and set pieces", said Dr. Strangepork, "Some of our past Pigs in Space props would make millions on ebay!"

"Yeah, we can sell the doors", said Link.

"Uh, but as long as we're still going to make new Pigs in Space material we'll need to keep the set", said Kermt, "However, I think we should cancle that big Jim Henson Hour tribute show we were planning."

Digit, Leon, Vicki, Clifford, and Lindbergh all got out of their chairs, disapointed.

"I am very disapointed", said Leon.

"This would be our chance to shine again", said Digit, who then started to literally shine.

"We can license our images", said Pepe, "Maybe agree to let our images be used for action figures, plush replicas, comic books..."

"Uh, we already do that", said Kermit.

"Then where are my residuals, okay", said Pepe.

"Your likeness is rarely used for merchandise", said Kermit.

"Uh, I think this chapter is getting too long and weird", said Sam, "Can we please just end this chapter now and move on?"

 

[RedPiggy]

that was ... bizarre ... but I did grin a few times

 

[LamangoNumber2]

It seems like your rushing things again, I don't want to sound mean though. >>

 

[minor muppetz]

It seems like your rushing things again, I don't want to sound mean though. >>

Well, many of my fan fics I have the basic ideas in my head for awhile (I think I've had this idea since March). Sometimes I think of alot of ideas for certain stories, and sometimes I only think of the basics until starting them. I don't write up any seperate outlines or anything, and usually when I start such an outlien the first chapter is the only one fully thought of, while in many cases ideas (and sometimes even major plot points) come along while writing them.

And also, with the title having to do with the plot, I feel a need for the first chapters to include a bit of whatever's in the title. With "economical" in the title, it would look weird for the frist two chapters to not have anything to do with economic problems.

 

[RedPiggy]

Part of the "rushed" thing might be the pacing. You really don't have paragraphs. You barely get over one line. This makes it read more like a script outline or something, which doesn't take too long to read.

Sometimes I think of alot of ideas for certain stories, and sometimes I only think of the basics until starting them. I don't write up any seperate outlines or anything, and usually when I start such an outlien the first chapter is the only one fully thought of, while in many cases ideas (and sometimes even major plot points) come along while writing them.

Sometimes I'm that way. I ususally have a general gist of the entire plot in mind, but I don't flesh out later scenes until I write the initial ones, because I tend to write in such a way that details to make it flow better alter later scenes.

Part of my issues are there are punchlines with no follow through. When Animal attacks Fozzie with a razor, there should be a comedic scene of Fozzie trying to get away. Instead, you just move on to the next gag. Not every gag needed a follow-through, but some would have benefitted from it.

The dismissal of the JHH characters should have been played up more. These are characters who haven't done squat since they were cancelled. They'd be way more upset than, say, Fozzie not being able to do a joke spot, since there's always next time to pencil him in.

And since when does Digit shine? That never happened and he's not Beaker, who has light-up eyes. This wouldn't be a problem if you helped the audience understand why he's OOC, but there is nothing there.

True, you could show how that came to be later in other chapters, but it's so off-putting that it leaves the reader wondering if you've ever seen these characters.

Again, we only mean that as constructive criticism. You do have interesting story ideas, but story-telling skill is something that needs a little fine-tuning.

 

[minor muppetz]

The dismissal of the JHH characters should have been played up more. These are characters who haven't done squat since they were cancelled. They'd be way more upset than, say, Fozzie not being able to do a joke spot, since there's always next time to pencil him in.

The only thing that was cancled was a big "Jim Henson Hour" tribute show, not cut from this stories view of the show altogether. I'm sure that I'll give some of them more appearances in the story.

And since when does Digit shine? That never happened and he's not Beaker, who has light-up eyes. This wouldn't be a problem if you helped the audience understand why he's OOC, but there is nothing there.

I was just implying that as a robot effect. But maybe that line should have been given to Waldo.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

The Muppets were in the prop room, looking for props that they could sell.

"Hey, I found some motorcycles!", said Beauregard.

"Oh, nice find", said Kermit, "There are the motorcycles from the 'I Get Around' number, the one from Gonzo's motorcycle act, and the motorcycle that Gonzo drove in the first Pigs in Space act."

"That's easily worth 175 dollars on eBay", said Dr. Strangepork, "The other motorcycles? Eh, not so much."

"Hmmm", thought Kermit, "I guess the motorcycle Piggy rode in The Great Muppet Caper would be worth the most, yet I don't know where that one is."

"Forget aout it", said Dr. Strangepork, "These Pigs in Space nerds won't be interested in a bike that Piggy rode in a movie."

"I think you're just a little sore over not being in that movie", said Kermit.

"True, true", said Dr. Strangepork.

"Hey, I found this weird telephone booth", said Beauregard.

"Oh, that was my costume from when me and Scooter did The Telephone Pole Bit", said Fozzie, "I think you should sell it."

"Eh, I think it's only worth a few cents", said Dr. Strangepork.

"What about this ironing board and this iron?", asked Bobo.

"Oh", said Kermit, "I don't think..."

"Oh, oh", said Strangepork, "That's the ironing board and iron from that Pigs in Space sketch where we told Piggy to do the laundry! Easily worth THOUSANDS!"

"Good grief", said Kermit, scrunching his face.

Pepe walked into the prop room.

"Hey, hey, hey, okay", said pepe, "I have an idea on how we can make enough money to keep us all employed and not make big budget cuts!"

"I'm not going to charge fifty bazillion dollars a ticket, Pepe", said Kermit.

"Oh, rats", said Pepe, who then thought up anothe ridea, "I've got it, okay! We raise ticket pricces to 80 dollars and have me perform a full opera for an entire show!"

Sam walked by and overheard this.

"I think you should listen to the prawn, Frog", said Sam, who then walked off in disbelief that he actually said that.

"I don't think we can make much money off of you", said Kermit.

"Well, we can just advertise my opera", said Pepe.

"We haven't got the money for advertising", said Kermit, "And besides, I thought your operatic dreams only applied to our last christmas special."

"Hey, I found a really nifty gun", said Bobo, holding the dissolvatron.

"Oh, that's the dissolvatron, worth one billion dollars", said Dr. Strangepork.

"Oh, we can make a fortune after all, okay!", said Pepe.

Everybody in the room cheered.

"But...", said Dr. Strangepork, "I couldn't part with that old thing."

Everybody sighed.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Down in the canteen...

"Oh, what a bummer", said Janice, "This economy is so bad right now that not even this theater is safe."

"Yeah, I know what you mean", said Floyd, "I think I'll have to stop buying chocolate-covered anvils for Animal."

"Nooooooooooo!", shouted Animal.

"Calm down, Animal", said Floyd.

"WANT CHOCOLATE COVERED ANVILS! WANT CHOCOLATE COVERED ANVILS!", shouted Animal.

"Look", said Gladys, "You can have one, on the house."

"Oh, thank you", shouted Animal, taking a number one and then running up to the top of the building.

"I got one on house!", said Animal, who began to chew on the 1.

Back in the canteen...

"Well, I've decided to sell some of my dynamite sticks", said Crazy Harry, "Both new and used."

"There's a trooper right there", said Gladys.

"Yuh, yuh!", said The Swedish Chef, "A twuuuper!"

Kermit and Scooter then came down.

"Well, we've looked through our valuable props", said Scooter.

"We are going to have a yard sale this weekend", said Kermit, "Oh, and, uh, Chef, I think you've got a phone call."

The Swedish Chef walked up to get the call, and Kermit watched the chef leave the room, and as soon as The Swedish Chef was gone...

"We will also have a bake sale", whispered Kermit, "Don't tell The Swedish Chef about it."

"Right", said Floyd.

"Oh, and Gladys", said Kermit, "Until we recover from our financial problems, we will have to take some thigns off the canteen menu."

"Like what?", asked Gladys.

"Well, everythign but milk and button sandwhiches", said Kermit.

"Like, I'm surprised you can afford the buttons", said Janice.

In the lobby, The Swedish Chef and Pops were arguing.

"I know nothing about a call for you", said Pops.

"Drr, drr, you wklie, durty spop", shouted The Swedish Chef.

"I'm sure there aren't any calls for you", said Pops.

"Dun t gimm stat weoep!", shouted The Swedish Chef, who then threatened Pops with a meat clever.

"Of course, I was sleeping until you woke me", said Pops, "Maybe I missed the ring."

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

The day of the Muppets yard sale soon came. A lot of people were at the yard sale, though most were the ones in charge of selling.

"Well, nobody wants to buy my jar of fresh flies", said Kermit, "I don't understand it."

Digit then walked by.

"Well, maybe if you reconsider canceling The Jim Henson Hour tribute show you'll sell more flies", said Digit.

Hilda then walked over to Kermit.

"Hey, Kermit, I'm out of cookies", said Hilda.

"Oh, that's great", said Kermit, "So we've made some money!"

"Actually, we didn't", said Hilda, "Some googly-eyed blue monster ate all of the cookies and then ran off."

"I think I'll have to make a phone call", said Kermit, scrunching his face.

Dr. Teeth was selling some special soup.

"Get some good soup from me", said Dr. Teeth, "It's the soup that'll really make you feel groovy."

"I I feel a song coming on", said Floyd, who started to play his bass, "Feeling groovy..."

"Shut up", said a police officier, "Now, Dr. Teeth, about this groovy soup, how much is it?"

"It's a dollar seventy-five",s aid Dr. Teeth.

"Then forget it", said the cop, "I can get some soup at the soup kitchen for a lot less!"

The cop walekd off.

"You see, Floyd", said Dr. Teeth, "That's how you get the cops to go away."

"Can you give me some more pointers, okay", said Pepe.

Gonzo was selling some of his old props.

"Get props that I used!", shouted Gonzo, "I've got a 5000 pount weight! I've got the rest of the tire I started eating! I've even got that motorcycle from my motorcycle act!"

"How are your things coming along?", asked Rizzo.

"Oh, not good", said Gonzo, "And I can't understand why."

"I can", said Rizzo.

"Really?", asked Gonzo, "What am I doing wrong?"

"Er....", thought Rizzo, "Don't ask me... Uh, why don't you go ask Beaker or The Swedish Chef?"

"Oh, what a great idea", said Gonzo.

Statler and Waldorf looked around at the yard sale merchandise.

"Can you believe that they are actualy selling their own props?", asked Waldorf.

"Can you believe that they haven't filed for bankruptcy nine years ago!"

Statler and Waldorf laughed.

"hey, are you two going to buy something, or am I going to have to throw you two out?", asked Fozzie.

"Oh, I am sooooo scared", said Statler.

"Well, uh, why can't you be laughing?", asked Fozzie.

"I'll take care of these two", said Doglion, who picked up both Statler and Waldorf and threw them away from the area.

"Hey, I think I can use you for my act", said Fozzie.

"You wanna know why nothing has sold here?", asked Louis Kazagger, "It's because Muppet Sports has been cancled!"

"Hey, I just did a similar joke a few minutes ago", said Digit.

Johnny Fiama and Sal then arrived for an act.

"Okay, Sal", said Johnny, "I'll do the organ grinding, and you do the dancing."

"I don't know, Johnny", said Sal, "I feel like this is a bit degrading..."

"Do it for the tips!", said Johnny.

"Okay", said Sal, who started dancing while Johnny was playing.
"Hey, everybody! Watch me!", said Sal, who was dancing, "And send me tips!"

The crowd just ignored them.

"Okay, that does it",s aid Sal, who started to beat up random people at the yard sale. Then he saw some people throwing tip money elsewhere. He saw Bean Bunny dancing to organ music played by Scooter, and making a lot of money.

"How are you doing it?", asked Sal.

"The secret is to be cute", said Bean.

"Okay, that does it", said Sal, who then attacked Bean.

"Well, what do you know", said Scooter, "Even when he's brutally beaten he's cute."

"Excuse me", said Leon, "But I think I'll help myself to some of those tips."

"Hey, hand soff those tips!", said Sam "Stealing is immoral and illegal!"

"Oh, why don't you go flush yourself down a toilet or something?", remarked Leon.

Bobo and Beauregard then went to Kermit.

"Hey, we're going to help you make some money", said Bobo, "We've got sponsors for the walk-a-thon, and we're going to walk 1700 miles."

"Yeah, starting now", said Beauregard, "Come on, let's go!"

They started walking.

"Hmm, I wish I knew about the walk-a-thon", said Louis Kazagger, "I could have used the sports casting gig."

"I don't think they'll go very far", said Kermit.

Bobo and Beauregard were walking a few blocks, when Bobo started to get tired.

"Oh... I don't think I can make it", said Bobo, who passed out to the ground, "Go on without me!"

"Oh, okay", said Beauregard, who wasn't watching where he was walking, and fell down a sewer.

"I think I broke both my legs!", said Beauregard.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

Fozzie was in the canteen, reading a new book that he'd bought, "Really Wild Rumors by Fleet Scribbler".

"Wow, this book is great", said Fozzie, "Did you know that there is a mysterious man who mysteriously appears in random places, donates money, and then vanishes?"

"I wish he'd come here and donate to us, okay", said Pepe.

Fozzie turned the page, and read some more. Clifford then came downstairs.

"So, how are things going?", asked Clifford.

"Oh, you know", said Gladys, "A bad economy."

"Budd budd bud okonomee", said The Swedish Chef.

"Yeah, I know what you mean", said Clifford, "Oh, and I'd like to have some cool whip."

"Coming right up", said Gladys.

"Hey!", exclaimed Fozzie, "I've found a solution to our money problems!"

"What's that, Foz?", asked Clifford.

"According to this book, the High Grazno Mountains may or may not have a hidden burried treasure", said Fozzie, "Consisting of fifty trillion gold coins, 29 million american dollars, an unlimited oil supply, 30 winning lottery tickets, and a magical diamond that can make real legal money!"

"That soudns exciting, okay!", said Pepe.

"Let's get started", said Rizzo, as he and Pepe left.

"I've got to tell Kermit about this", said Fozzie, who ran off.

Clifford glanced at Fozzie's book.

"Hey, Fozzie!", shouted Clifford,"I know the book you're reading. That treasure is not..."

"Here's your cool whip", shouted Gladys, handing Clifford a whip, "Me and the chef have to embark on a treasure hunt!"

Fozzie ran upstairs.

"Hey, Kermit!", said Fozzie, "The High Grazno Mountains may or may not have a burried treasure. This'll solve our economic problems!"

"Oh, boy!", shouted Sweetums, who unintentionally walked over Bean Bunny.

"Uh, there's no need to get this excited", said Kermit.

"But we can solve everything", said Fozzie, who ran off.

"With this treasure, you won't hav eto cancel anothe rone of my acts", said Gonzo.

Various Muppets were runnign around backstage, preparing for a treasure hunt.

"Come on, Beaker", said Bunsen, "Don't forget the metal detector!"

"Meep meep meep", shouted Beaker.

"I hope I'm the first to find it, okay", said Pepe.

"Oh, Kermie", said Miss Piggy, "We can use this money to get married and have a nice honeymoon."

Kermit gulped, "Well, uh, I don't think..."

"Roll call", shouted Lew Zealand, looking at his boomerang fish, "I see kenneth, chris, tommy, jennifer... Wait! Where's barry?"

"Kermie, I'll go ahead and go find the treasure without you", said Piggy.

Clifford ran upstairs.

"Hey, Kermit, we have a problem", said Clifford, "Fozzie was reading Fleet Scribbler's rumor book, and now he thinks there is a burried treasure."

"Everybody does now", said Kermit.

"What a headline!", said Fleet Scrbbler, who was suddenly backstage, "The High Granzo Mountains may or may not have a hidden treasure after all!"

"Will you get out of here!", said Kermit.

"We've got to stop everybody from making a big mistake", said Clifford.

"It's too late", said Rowlf, "Some have already left in search of the treasure."

"Well, maybe we should get there and talk some sense into them", said Kermit.

"Great, the three of us can go together", said Clifford.

"Yeah, but we're all too sane", said Kermit, "We'll need a comedy relief."

"I'll be the comedy releif", said an alligator.

"What can you do?", asked Rowlf.

"I can do this", said the alligator, who then exploded, and was no longer seen.

"You know what?", said Kermit, "Let's forget about a comedy releif. Rowlf can provide one-liners."

"Yeah, there'll probably be more focus on the other groups of characters who split up."

And sure enough, the focus begins! The Electric Mayhem got their uickly, traveling by Electric Mayhem bus.

"Well, here we are at the High Granzo Mountains", said Dr. Teeth.

"Wow!", said Janice, "Like, it's a really wonderful sight!"

"Wonderful sight! Wonderful sight!", shouted Animal.

"And it'll be more wonderful when we find that treasure",s aid Floyd.

"Fer sure!", laughed Janice.

"Say, I think we forgot about Lips", said Zoot.

"Oh, I'm sure that he's fine", said Dr. Teeth.

And sure enough, Lips was sitting at the bus stop bench, playing the trumpet while waiting for the rest of the mayhem.

Fozzie, Gonzo, Rizzo, and Pepe also arrived together.

"Okay, let's find this treasure", said Rizzo.

"Well, my book had great details about this treasure", said Fozzie, "Unfortunately, I left the book at the canteen."

"Wait, how do you know about the great details?", asked Pepe, "I thought you told us all as soon as you read the paragraph, okay!"

"I saw that there was a map", said Fozzie.

"And you didn't bring it with you, okay!", said Pepe.

"Are you crazy?", asked Rizzo.

"Hey, can't we all use a little bit of craziness?", asked Gonzo.

Miss Piggy and Dr. Strangepork arrived together.

"Well, I hope that my money detector gun can locate the money quickly", said Dr. Strangepork, turning it on.

"I just don't want to be here forever", said Miss Piggy.

Dr. Strangepork turned it on, but the gun soon blew smoke.

"Well, thatw as a waste", said Dr. Strangepork.

"You're telling me", said Miss Piggy, "And wasn't Link going to come with us?"

"Link said he'd find it by himself", said Dr. Strangepork.

Of course, Link had foolishly gone to the basement of a big building.

"Okay, this must be it", said Link, gettign out his shovel, "It's digging time!"

Link put down the shovel, but the floor was too hard for it to dig through.

"Hmm, looks like I need a new shovel", said Link.