The Life Of A Frig

[RedPiggy]

I'm sorry to hear that. *hugs*

 

[Wiseman]

Ty

I'm sorry to hear that. *hugs*

Thanks, Red. My parents were on vacation so I was called by the precinct. Apparently he died alone in his apartment. Man was an alcoholic, heavy pipe smoker and a light eater, so all of this contributed to his demise. Mom and Dad will be coming home on Sunday. Once all this is over and my uncle has been laid to rest then I will resume work on this fanfic.

 

[Wiseman]

All arrangements have been made

Well, my parents got home Sunday afternoon and everything was arranged on Monday. There will be a small memorial on Saturday. In the meantime now that I have put these matters to rest I have managed to come up with the next installment in the story.

Chapter 19 Back Legs​

Setting: Kermit & Piggy’s apartment in Manhattan. It has been a little over a year since the birth of little Bruce. Kermit & Piggy are home watching their little child swim around in the tank.

“Well now what," said Kermit, obviously a little bored with watching Bruce swim around in circles in the tank.

“Well, according to this book I’ve been reading, his back legs are supposed to grow in sometime this year.” said Piggy, indicating a book on the nightstand.

Kermit picked up the book. “What to Expect Years 1 to 5: The Amphibian-Mammal Hybrid Edition” by Doctor Dog and Nurse Newt. On the front cover of the book was a photo of a strange lizard like creature that was a mixture of a dog and a newt. Obviously this was the child of the couple that had written the book. According to the introduction, the authors had interviewed many amphibian-mammal couples in order to prepare their book. Plus they had also had their own little child, which was pictured on the cover at 5 years of age.

“Soon after the first year, your baby should start to grow his or her back legs. Usually, there are two legs from each parent. That is, if the two back legs are from the amphibian parent then the two front legs will be from the mammal parent and vice versa. Occasionally there is a three to one combination, but this is rather rare and not very beneficial as these cases often have serious mobility impairments.” he read.

“Well, they obviously haven’t come in yet.” said Kermit, looking at the little guy swimming around in his tank. At that moment the doorbell rang.

“That should be this week’s delivery of pond scum," said Piggy, Kermit had already picked up the pig swill earlier and it was now in a half gallon container seated on a table next to the tank waiting to be mixed and dumped in.

“Funny, I thought it was Bruce’s back legs.” said Kermit, pushing the buzzer so that his sibling could make the delivery. In a few minutes there was a knock on the apartment door.

Kermit opened the door and in hopped his brother William carrying a half gallon container of pond scum.

“So how is the little guy coming along?" asked William, setting down his bottle.

“Very well," said Kermit, pouring the pond scum into the pig swill bottle. He then added some milk which Piggy had expressed earlier the same morning and shook the mixture and poured it into the tank.

Willam looked at the book on Kermit & Piggy’s nightstand.

“Hmm," he said reading the same thing that Kermit had just read.

“Wondering what he might look like?" asked Piggy.

“Actually, I already have some ideas," said William. “I don’t know if Kermit told you this, but I’m the artistic one in the family.”

“No he didn’t," said Piggy.

“Well I am," he said, “in fact, give me a minute.” He took a piece of paper and a pen from Kermit & Piggy’s nightstand and began drawing.

“Here’s one idea of how he might look.” he said, showing Kermit & Piggy his sketch. It looked something like this

“Of course, this is just a rough sketch," said William, “Also this is only one of the two main combinations that the book alluded to.”

“It looks nice," said Piggy.

Suddenly Bruce began swimming around the tank rather frantically. Kermit looked at the tank.

“Good grief, talk about your rough sketches.” he said. Bruce had just grown some back legs that looked very similar to the ones in William’s drawing.

 

[RedPiggy]

Hope you're doing okay. This was a good chapter, but the link is broken.

 

[Wiseman]

Hope you're doing okay. This was a good chapter, but the link is broken.

Strange. I scanned the drawing into my computer, then pasted it into the body of the post. Maybe that was the wrong method. Or maybe when The Count fixed the Computer ud code problem he also fixed this. I'm going to try the link, but my computer often conks out when I try links so I probably won't be able to determine if it is still broken. Basically, William's drawing consists of an adult frog with the back legs being frog legs and the front legs being pig legs. It also has a curly tail and a pig snout. Similar to the way I decscribed it in the post that gave me the idea that started this fanfic. Hope this helps.

 

[The Count]

Hi... Didn't touch the link, that's a forum problem. Already sent you a reply with some options Wiseman. Take care.

 

[Wiseman]

Sorry about the delay and the broken link

Sorry about the delay and the broken link. I went to photobucket and I have an account there and I will be sending William's drawing to them soon. In the meantime enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 20 Front Legs​

Setting: Sesame Street. Oscar’s garbage can in front of 123 Sesame Street. Kermit is getting some pig swill from Oscar. It has been a little over a year since Bruce got his frog style back legs and unbeknownst to Kermit, he will soon be getting some front legs to go with them.

“So Green-Puss I hear that the little guy has your back legs.” said Oscar.

“Yup, he hasn’t developed front legs yet though.” said Kermit.

“Well, you just keep feeding him this high-quality swill and he’ll develop them in no time.” said Oscar handing him a pail. At that moment a strange ball of light began to circle around the area.

Suddenly there was a splash and Abby Cadabby appeared in the pail of swill that Oscar had just given Kermit.

“Whoops, sorry about that Kermit, these entrances are not easy you know.” said Abby, jumping out of the bucket and shaking off her wings.

“You better not have gotten any fairy dust in the pail, Pixie-Breath.” said Oscar.

“Actually Oscar, not all fairies use dust to fly, some of us do quite well without it. Only those from Neverland like Tinkerbelle need dust.” said Abby.

“Yeah, Yeah, just stay out of my swill. Let’s see, you lost about half a cup, Jumpy Boy, be back in a minute.” said Oscar.

While Oscar was down in his can Abby spread her wings out to dry them, “So, Kermit, will we be seeing Bruce here on the street anytime soon?"

“Not really," said Kermit, unfortunately it should take about two more years before he is able to hop on land, and even then we will have to see just how well he hops before we take him anywhere.”

“Aren’t all frogs good hoppers?" asked Abby.

“Yes, that’s true but you have to remember that this is a frig, half frog half pig and that while we know that the front legs are frog legs, we don’t know what the front legs are going to be yet. Hopefully they will both be pig legs, that way he will be able to jump well, not as well as a regular frog but still very well. On the other hand if by chance we get one pig leg and one frog leg, his hopping abilities will be almost nil, which means we’ll have to figure out another way for him to travel.” said Kermit. “We should find out the answer to that question sometime soon though, his front legs are due this year, we just don’t know when.

“Okay, Ping-Pong ball eyes, here’s the frog swill that that rhyming wand carrier splashed out” said Oscar coming back up.

“Oh good, now if I can just get down to the subway station down at the end of the block. I can get back home.”

“You don’t need a subway, I can just poof you back.” said Abby.

“No Abby, I don’t think that would be a good idea.” said Kermit.

“Oh come on it’ll be fun, it’s the best way to travel. Higgledy, piggledy, little frog go right back to your bog.” said Abby.

Moments later Kermit did indeed find himself home. That is, in his home of origin. A bog somewhere in Florida near Walt Disney World.

“Great," said Kermit, “Guess I better call Piggy, and let her know what happened.” said Kermit, he looked around. “Hey I know where I am, Mom’s place, I wonder if she still remembers which one I am, after we hatched we really didn’t see much of each other, and with 72 of us it’s hard to keep track. If she does, she’ll probably let me use her phone to call Piggy.”

So saying, Kermit hopped along the lily pads till he reached a familiar spot, he then set his pail of swill down, knowing that it would probably not be wise to spring it on his mother just yet that what her grandson was and hopped off the pad and into the water.

After swimming down a few feet, he saw an old female frog sitting at the bottom of the ocean.

“Mom," he said.

The frog looked at the young one in front of her. “Kermit, what are you doing back here, don’t tell me that pig threw you out?" she said.

“Not exactly," said Kermit, and he told his mother of his adventures and of the birth of her grandson.

“So you need to use my phone to call home.” said his mother.

“Yes," said Kermit, “Well, you’ll have to pay for the call” said his mother, “Being on a fixed income ever since your father went off and found another frog to hop with. I really can’t afford long-distance phone calls. How are you planning on getting back to New York after you make the call, though?"

“Well, I can’t hop all the way, and bicycling it is out of the question considering my cargo, so I guess, I’ll have to take a plane.” said Kermit.

“I see," said his mother, “Oh well, come along.” she led him to her phone, and he made the call, collect of course.

“Piggy," he said after she accepted the charges, “I may be a bit delayed in getting back with the swill.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that.” said Piggy.

“How’d you know?" said Kermit.

“Soon after you left Sesame Street your grouch friend called me on his somewhat static-filled cell phone and told me what had happened. You're at mom’s right?"said Piggy.

“Yeah, well don’t worry about the kid, Gordon’s on his way with another pail of food, traveling by subway. In the meantime, I have some good news for your mother, her grandson has my front legs, both of them.” said Piggy.

 

[RedPiggy]

LOL.

By the time you read this, it's probably too late to fix, but there are some quotation marks missing, the front and back legs are confused in one paragraph, and that u201D thing is there.

 

[Wiseman]

Okay, yeah I see that editing detail that I missed. Hoepefully one of the mods will clean it up meantime I have to figure out how to get Kermit and his pail on a plane to NYC with post 9/11 security.

 

[Wiseman]

A Plane ride

Before I begin this chapter. I should explain a joke name which will probably be totally missed by most of the readers. The name of the rabbi pig who inspects Kermit's pig swill Chaziyr Choiros is actually a combination of the Biblical Hebrew and the Koine Greek words for swine.

Chapter 21 A Strange Plane Ride​

Setting: An airport in Florida. Kermit has booked a flight to NYC and is now trying to get himself and his pail of pig swill past security and onto the plane.

“Hmm, would you happen to be carrying pig swill in this pail?” said a rather large bear that was working security at the airport to
Kermit as he brought his pail over to be inspected.

“Yes,” said Kermit as the bear sniffed his pail.

“Well, I’ve already been briefed on your reasons for carrying such a substance.” said Bear. “However, I still need to have it inspected by our expert on swill to make sure it doesn’t contain any questionable substances.”

“Such as?” said Kermit.
“Well, I’m not supposed to say this, but the last time somebody came through here carrying a pail of pig swill, he had snuck some pieces of bacon and pork in it.”

“Good heavens!” said Kermit. “But, isn’t that illegal?”

“Not only that when pigs eat pig meat they wind up doing crazy things.” said Bear.

“Such as?” said Kermit.

“Blowing up balloon factories.” said Bear.

“Why would anyone want to blow up a balloon factory?” said Kermit.

“I have no idea,” said Bear, “but it happens. Anyway, I’ll have to bring out our expert a Mr. Chaziyr Choiros.”

Moments later a pig came in to the terminal dressed as a Hasidic rabbi.

“A pig rabbi?” said Kermit incredulously.
“I assure you that I am 100% kosher.” said the rabbi. “I never eat pork or any other unclean meat.”

“A kosher pig, but that’s an oxymoron.” said Kermit.

“So is this high quality pig swill you are carrying,” said Chaziyr, sniffing the pail, “Well, it passes my inspection.” he said, “You’re clear to go through.”

“Good,” said Kermit and he took his pail and boarded the plane.

“Welcome aboard Oznowicz Airlines Flight 924 from Florida to New York. This is your captain speaking. We are now taking off on runway 516. We will be cruising at an altitude of 3,000 feet.”

The plane took off very nicely and Kermit settled in for his flight to New York which passed uneventfully.