Short Stories

[ryhoyarbie]

*Several short stories involving different muppets*

*Enjoy!*


Muppet Theater

Rowlf the dog, dressed in a detective's hat and a tanish trench coat, was looking around with his magnifying glass.

"Looks like the trail has turned cold."

In the background behind Rowlf displayed a spooky yet haunting scene displaying fog illuminating around him with a graveyard filled with head stones.

Rowlf looked over at one of the head stones with his magnifying glass. "Wait a minute, there appears to be something odd about this grave site."

Rowlf bent down and noticed the grass and dirt were loose and some of it was missing.

"This might be the break we need," Rowlf smiled. "Perhaps this is the grave of the famous Count Dracula."

Suddenly thunder and lightning filled the sky above the dog.

Rowlf looked behind himself. "Oh assistant, assistant!"

The dog narrowed his eyes, wondering where the person was. "Assistant!" Rowlf yelled.

Suddenly Beauregard, dressed in similar clothing attire like Rowlf, came walking quickly over to him. "Oh sorry Rowlf. There was a light bulb that needed changing in one of the dress rooms!"

Rowlf just shook his head, forgetting the comment. "Anyway assistant, I think I just found the grave of the famous Count Dracula!"

Thunder and lightning came togething on cue. Rowlf and Beau looked at the sky and looked back at each other.

"Assistant, I want you to dig at the grave site and see if he is there," Rowlf said.

"See who?" Beaurgeard was confused.

"Dracula," Rowlf did not know if Beau was getting it.

"Why would a guy named Dracula live underneath the ground?" Beau wondered.

Rowlf was now frustrated. "Because Dracula is a vampire and vampires live in a coffin in the dark and......."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Beauregard smiled. "Sorry!"

Rowlf rolled his eyes and wiped his left hand around his face. "Stop! Just stop!"

"Huh?" Beauregard did not know what was going on, again.

Rowlf looked into the audience. "This is what you have for me? After almost twenty years of being in the background and not doing anything and this is my big sketch?"

In the audience was Kermit, who had a clipboard, and Pepe.

"I'm sorry Rowlf, but this was the best I could do."

Beauregard looked at Rowlf. "Hey, I thought we were supposed to be digging and trying to find Dracula. Who are those people in the audience?"

Rowlf couldn't believe what he was hearing and looked at Beau with a "you got to be kidding me" look.

"Oh yeah, we're supposed to be rehersing a sketch for you all," Beau's mind clicked. "Sorry!"

"Unbelievable okay!" Pepe replied.

"You know what, I'm going to go to the back, find my piano, and play some music on it," Rowlf walked out from the stage.

"Here's a new sketch just for you Rowlf. You'll enjoy this one Rowlf. But I forgot to tell you who your assistant would be in this number," Rowlf muttered to himself, although everyone heard him.

Beau looked at Rowlf who was now gone and then back at Kermit. "Hey Kermit, can I have Rowlf's part since he doesn't want to be in the sketch or work with me anymore?"

Kermit started to hit himself on the head with the clipboard.

"When you're done with that, let me have that for myself too, okay?" Pepe said to the frog.

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Where's the feedback?


Anyway, moving right along.....

Next short story:

Halloween Costumes

At the boarding house, several muppets were there doing various things.

Kermit the frog was in the living room reading a newspaper.

"Hey Uncle Kermit!"

Kermit dropped his newspaper and looked at his nephew, Robin, who was walking down the stairs.

"Hi Robin!" Kermit was always in a good mood when he chatted with his nephew.

"I'm still trying to figure out what I am going to go as for Halloween this year," the young frog sat right beside the elder frog.

"Well Robin, you'll think of something," Kermit assured him. "You always do."

Having overheard the conversation, Sweetums came up to the frogs.

"You can just stay here with me and scare people little buddy!" Sweetums said. "We'll get candy no matter what!"

Robin looked doubtful. "Well I kind of want to get dressed up and walk around."

Sweetums nodded and walked away.

Dr. Julius Strangepork wondered by the two frogs.

"Hey Dr. Strangepork, are you dressing up as anything this year?" Kermit wondered.

"Vell, um," Strangepork thought. "Ves, I'm thinking about going as someone vho vants to take over the vorld!"

"So you're going as a business man who works for a multinational conglomerate?"

"No!" Strangepork shook his head. "I'm going as someone vho takes over the vorld!"

"Oh okay," Kermit nodded as Strangepork walked away.

Kermit looked at Robin. "Same difference!"

The Electric Mayhem band walked in from the kitchen to the two frogs.

"Oh hi guys," Kermit said.

"What are you guys going for Halloween?" Robin wondered.

"Well, um, we're um......" Zoot trailed off. "Man I just had what I was about to say."

"Frog babies, we am is going as a rock band," Floyd stated.

"A rock band?" Robin did not understand. "But you guys are already a rock band."

"Oh wow, fer sure," Janice noted. "See Robin, it's like this..."

"Rock band, rock band!" Animal shouted as he cut off Janice.

"We're going as a rock band who still performs rock melodies souful to the lingering ear," Lips tried to explain.

"But you guys already do that?" Kermit said.

"Yeah, but we're going as a rock band in the 21st century," Dr. Teeth further explained. "We're a dying breed in the heavy duty musical sourness being produced today in the chaotic state of the music industry!"

Kermit and Robin nodded.

"In other words, we be a rock band in the diamond in the rough with all the bad musical talentless squares of today!" Floyd started to laugh.

 

[AnimatedC9000]

"In other words, we be a rock band in the diamond in the rough with all the bad musical talentless squares of today!" Floyd started to laugh.

... woo-hoo! XP

Classic Floyd, my man, classic!

Ooh! Robin! You should dress up as a pirate! It'd be cute!

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Which Candidate?

In the Muppet boarding house, Sam the eagle was watching a presidental debate between Senator John McCain and Senator Barack Obama in the living room. Also watching the debate were Bean Bunny and Zippity Zap.

"My fellow Americans, we are in a horrible situation," Senator McCain said.

"I've heard that before," Sam muttered as he had his left wing holding his head while watching the debate.

"We don't need the usual politics that have been dictating the last eight years of this great nation," McCain continuted. "We need change, and I'm going to bring it to you."

"Hmmm....." Zippity Zap said. "The cat is like the other hipster, telling the same story and not telling everyone the in between bits."

Sam had to agree with that. Obama said a similar speech a few minutes prior.

"But I promise you when I'm elected I will make that change to help fix the economy, to help people get loans so they can get homes and send their children to college and to secure the happiness and stability they need in their lives," McCain continued. "The economy is tight, a record number of people are out of work, and now people have to take on two jobs just to make their payments or put food on the table. If I'm elected, I will do away with that and make sure you're not out of work and only need one job to help pay for expenses."

"Ha!" Sam said as he made a fist with his left wing and slammed it on the arm of the couch he, Bean, and Zippity Zap were sitting on. "Liars! You are all liars! Very unamerican indeed!"

Zippity Zap and Bean looked at Sam.

"Woah, chill out bird man," Zippity replied.

"Yeah Sam," Bean added. "It's not cute when you get your feathers all ruffled.

Sam shook his head. "I can't help it. Both candidates keep on saying the same filth to the American people! It is very degrading."

"Aren't all candidates like that though?" Bean thought he was sure.

"I suppose now they are," Sam replied. "It's getting hard for me to choose which one I want to vote for."

Bean got up from the couch and headed towards the television. "I can do a process of elimination. All I do is look at the candidate to see which one is cuter!"

"You got to be kidding me!" Sam looked at Zippity who was also surprised with how bean elected candidiates.

"See I look at both candidates and look at their faces," Bean continued. "Now McCain has a nice wrinkled up face. he reminds me of my grandpa. Obama on the other hand, is not that old. But he still has a good face, very youthful!"

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"On the one hand McCain is older and age defines a man, but Obama is youthful and full of new ideas," Bean continued. "I might have to go with McCain just because he looks cute as the dickens with his wrinkled up smile, but then again, Obama looks cute with those cute little kids of his."

Bean was unsure now. "Obama and his cute kids which makes me want to pinch those little cheeks of theirs! Now I can't decide which candidate I'm going to vote for now! McCain and his cute little wrinkled face, or Obama and his cute kids!"

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Election Day Coverage!

The Muppet Newsman, in the regular news set he always appeared in on The Muppet Show, looked at his notes.

"And now we go to live coverage of the presidental election of 2008!" The announcer said.

The Muppet Newsman looked at the camera, composed and distinguished, wearing his normal attire, a suit, tie, and his glasses. "Good evening. We're continuing our coverage of this historic election that is amoung us. To get a perspective on tonight, we have several reporters live on the scene. We first go live to the city of Philadelphia Pennsylvania where our own Rizzo the rat is live on the streets."

The camera goes from the Muppet Newsman to a live feed to Rizzo the rat, who was wearing a black suit with a red tie and holding a microphone. His red hat he usually wears was absent.

"What can you tell us Rizzo?" The Muppet Newsman said.

Rizzo, even though he was on, wasn't paying attention. Instead he was looking on at a man in the background eating a cheesesteak who was in his early fourties, slightly overweight, and wearing street clothes. "Oh boy that sandwhich looks so good."

The man looked at Rizzo but continued to eat the cheesesteak sandwhich.

"Hey, I'll trade ya your sandwhich for a date with um....Miss Piggy," Rizzo thought for a moment. He knew that Piggy would not go on a date with the man anyway, but Rizzo wanted that cheesesteak sandwhich badly.

"Pssss Rizzo, we're on!" The camera guy said.

Rizzo quickly looked at the camera, embarrassed, and smiled. "Rizzo the rat here on the streets of the city called city of brotherly love." Rizzo looked back at the man still eating and turned back at the camera. "But apparently not everyone is showing some love cause I want me a cheesesteak sandwhich!"

Rizzo walks over to the man. "Excuse me sir, can I have a moment of your time?"

The man nodded as he took another bite of his sandwhich.

"What does this election mean to you?" Rizzo asked.

"Hummaph ahdhd ahdhdhskak," the man said with a mouthful of food.

"Sir, we did not get that," Rizzo responded.

The man tried again, this time with a clear throat. "Obama's gonna win! Obama 2008!"

Rizzo nodded. "Anything else you want to add sir?"

"Obama 08! He's gonna win!" The man continued.

Rizzo looked at the man and turned back to teh camera. "And that's the story here. I'm Rizzo the rat, hungry for some food! Back to you!"

The Muppet Newsman nodded. "Okay, thank you Rizzo. That was Rizzo the rat ladies and gentlemen." The newsman turned his attention to another camera. "And now we go live to Chicago to The Great Gonzo."

A camera feed displayed Gonzo, dressed in a dark blue suit and a dark blue tie, smiling at the camera. "Thank you and welcome to Chicago Illinios. I'm The Great Gonzo asking fellow citizens of Chicago about this election."

Gonzo walked over to a young lady, in her upper twenties. "Ma'am, how do you think this election will turn out?"

The lady spoke into the microphone. "Well I think someone will win this presidental election."

Gonzo looked at the camera and raised his eye lids. "Well ma'am, we all know that, but who do you think will win?"

The lady looked at Gonzo. "It doesn't matter who wins, no one is going to do anything anyways. We need something to shake this country up."

Gonzo nodded. "Well, what gets me all giddy is blowing something up!"

The woman's eyes got wider. "Oh my god, you're going to blow something up!" The woman looked around, scared. "Hey everyone, this blue weirdo is going to blow up everything!"

"Now wait just a minute! I didn't say that!" Gonzo tried to explain.

"Terrorist!" Someone shouted in the background.

The woman got a police officer's attention to come over here. "Oh officer, arrest this thing! He says he's going to blow this country up!"

"Hey, I didn't say that!" Gonzo was now panicking. "You're putting words in my mouth!"

"No she's not!" Another voice said in the background. "He wants to destroy Washington D.C. and Japan!"

The police officer grabbed Gonzo's hands, which cause him to drop the microphone, and attached handcuffs on the blue muppet.

"Hey!" Gonzo cried out. "This feels pretty good!"

The police officer shook his head. "Come on you sick weirdo!"

The camera switched back at the Muppet Newsman.

The Muppet Newsman said something in his hearing piece. "Ya, tell the frog to get a bunch of cash and a good lawyer. His blue weirdo friend is going to need it."

The newsman looked at the camera. "And now we go to our political bird, Sam the eagle, for an editoral piece."

Sam was sitting right by the Muppet Newsman. "Thank you." Sam looked at the camera. "Voting! It is something that every American needs to do. It is your right as well as your duty to go out and vote for the fellow candidates, no matter who you vote for!"

Sam continued. "Most countries do not allow it's citizens to vote and most of those citizens would give anything to vote in elections, but they can't. So You should feel privileged knowing that you can go out and vote. So go out and vote! If you don't vote, you are not an American! You are unworthy of being an American citizen and unworthy of just living in this great country that's the best country in the world."

The Muppet Newsman looked on and nodded at what Sam was saying.

Sam continued. "Everyone should go out and vote." Same pointed to the camera. "Everyone!"

The newsman interrupted. "But Sam, some people can't vote."

Sam slammed his fists on the news desk. "That is a lie!"

"Um Sam, kids can't vote," the newsman said.

"That's no excuse!" Sam was getting upset. "They need to get out and vote!"

"But Sam, kids can't vote, especially those who were just born a day ago, or even an hour or even moments ago," the Muppet Newsman tried to reason with the eagle.

"Well they should!" Sam looked angry. "They are Amercians and every American needs to vote, no matter how young or old, small or big they are. No excuses!" Sam pointed at the camera again. "No excuses!"

The Muppet Newsman nodded. "That was Sam the eagle with an editorial special. Thank you and good night!"

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Can somebody leave a comment/feedback on this!

Do you like this so far? Is it horrible? Does it need more work? Do you even care for these stories?

 

[Muppetfan44]

I like these short stories. They're cute and a nice entertaining muppety blip in my day! Keep up the good work!

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Shopping Buddies

In the Muppet Theater, the majority of the muppet cast were seated. But there were several others showing up at the last minute.

At the entrance of the theater was Kermit.

Johnny Fiama and Sal were walking and were in mid conversation.

"Oh come on Johnny, lighten up!" Sal asked of his friend.

Johnny looked at the monkey. "You told mamma to stop calling me yesterday!"

"Johnny, she called you fifteen times yesterday!" Sal did not understand why Johnny was getting upset.

"It was my birthday! Can't a mother wish her son a happy birthday!" Johnny shook his head. "Sheesh!"

Sal and Johnny were about to walk past kermit before the frog stopped the duo. "Oh, guys, here sign your names on these and put them in the box."

Kermit gave two pieces of paper and a pen for Johnny and Sal to put their names on them and place them in the box.

Johnny looked at the frog. "Kermit, what is this?"

"Oh you'll see," Kermit smiled.

Johnny looked at Sal. "I don't know if I like this Sal!"

Sal nodded and both walked to find a seat in the theater.

Clifford walked in and looked at Kermit. "Yo Kerm, hope this little meeting doesn't run too late. I got me a date tonight."

"Oh the meeting won't but the party afterwords might," Kemit replied.

"Oh shoot, there's going to be a party going on right here?" Clifford asked.

Kermit nodded. "Uh huh."

Clifford smiled. "Well, I just love getting my groove on then."

Clifford started to walk off before Kermit stopped him.

"Oh Clifford, write your name on this and put it in the box," Kermit instructed.

"You doing a raffle or something Kerm?" Clifford wondered.

"Something like that," Kermit did not say anything else.

Clifford did what he was told to. "Cool." He walked away and tried to find a seat.

Kermit looked at all the muppets and started to count. "Hmmm....missing just two more people."

Suddenly Rizzo and Animal walked in."

Rizzo looked at the drummer. "When it's an all you can eat buffet, you're supposed to eat the food, not go after the women!"

"Woman, woman, woman!" Animal shouted.

"Ah geez," Rizzo couldn't believe. "I'm never going to lose a bet with Floyd again. Agreeing that if I lose the bet, I have watch you for the rest of the day!"

Animal just stared at the rat.

"You knows, it's a full time job just trying to watch you!" Rizzo continued.

Kermit decided to interrupt. "Bad day gentlemen?"

"Sure, if you want to get a ticket for domestic disturbance because of "The Chaser" over here," Rizzo gestered his head towards Animal.

"Yeesh," Kermit said. "Anyway fill these pieces of paper out and put them in the box."

Both Rizzo and Animal did although Animal was about to eat his paper until Kermit stopped him.

Kermit then walked on stage to face everybody. "Attention everyone."

Majority of the muppets did not hear him and continued to talk.

"Everyone, I need your attention," Kermit raised his voice but still nothing happened.

Suddenly, Kermit got an idea. He walked into the pit area and grabbed some cymbals. He then walked on stage and banged them whiched caused the muppets to stop talking. All but one.

"And then I told them I am not going to dress up in that and do that just because you think it's "art"," Janice said to no one particular. She looked at everyone who was stairing at her.

Kermit did not want to know what Janice meant by that and decided to continue. "And now I give you Miss Piggy."

Piggy walked on stage while Kermit tried to avoid her.

"Oh Kermie, thank you!" Piggy looked at the frog walking off. "Kissy, kissy!"

Piggy turned her attention to the rest of the muppets. "Thank you all for listening to moi! I have asked vous here because I am taking the day off and you get the pleasure of carrying my bags while I shop today!"

The muppets grumbled much to the detest of Piggy.

"And now I'm going to chose three lucky people to go shopping with moi! You all can thank me later," Piggy smiled.

"Oh I will thank you later!" Crazy Harry said as he was petting his bomb while looking at the pig.

Piggy looked back. "Oh Kermie, could you be a dear and get the box with the pieces of paper for moi?"

The box slid on the floor to Piggy. "Thank a lot!" Piggy's tone was annoyed. "Why not just throw it at me!"

Piggy picked up the box and put grabbed a piece of paper. "And the first lucky person who gets to carry my bags is........Beaker!"

Several muppets breathed a sigh of relief.

Beaker looked scared. "Mee mee me meee meee mee noooooo!"

Dr. Busen Honeydew just padded Beaker. "Oh don't worry Beaker, it can't be as bad as all the stuff I've done to you in the past!"

Piggy picked the second piece of paper. "And the second person who gets to carry my bags is.....Bean Bunny!"

Again several muppets breathed a sigh of relief.

Bean bunny grumbled. "Oh I don't want to do this. This is not in my description!" Bean shook his head. "I always get picked to carry Piggy's bags, every time. This is not cute!"

Piggy grabbed the third piece of paper. "And the third person who gets to carry moi's bags is........" Piggy looked at the paper. "Floyd." Piggy grumbled as she said the name.

The rest of the muppets all cheered since their names did not get called out.

Piggy looked at the ticket and then at Floyd, and then back at the ticket again.

"Say 'Bacon Bits'," Floyd looked at Piggy. "Since I'm going can I make my usual puns at you?"

Piggy tried to smile. "Um, Floyd, you don't have to go!" She nodded. "I'll just take Beaker and Bean with me." Piggy did not want the hippie musician to tag along.

"Oh no I'll come along," Floyd insisted. "I got a new list of names I need to try out on you anyway!" Floyd started to laugh. "Knowing my luck, you'll probably be at the food court the whole time stuffing yourself like you always do!" Floyd laughed some more.

Piggy grumbled..........

 

[dwayne1115]

I have a short Story

Fozzie walks on to the stage and tells the funniest joke there ever was. He then retired and became a old couch sales man! The END!