Little Shop of Horrors, Muppet style!

[UncleMatt'sBack]

Skeeter Muppet and I have been throwing this idea around for years. Here's the cast list!

Seymour Krelborn/Scooter
Audrey Fulquard/Miss Piggy
Gravis Mushnik/Sam Eagle
Orin Scrivello, D.D.S./Gonzo
Crystal/Skeeter
Ronette/Annie Sue
Chiffon/Janice
Audrey II Pod 1 Puppeteer & Ensemble/Beaker
Audrey II Pod 2/Lanford
Audrey II Pod 3 & 4 Puppeteer & Ensemble/Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
Audrey II Pod 3 & 4 Puppeteer & Ensemble/Sweetums
Audrey II Voice/Dr. Teeth
The First Customer (aka Burson Fouch)/Kermit
Wink Wilkinson/Fozzie
Arthur Wilburforce Denton/Crazy Harry
Peter Bernstein/Clifford
Mrs. Luce/Mildred
Skip Snip/Rizzo
Skip Snip's Bodyguard/Thog (this is so Rizzo can maintain eye contact with whoever he's talking to...Thog would just be holding Rizzo up)
Patrick Martin/Convincing John
Ensemble/Everyone else
The house band/Rowlf (piano/musical director)
Floyd (bass guitar)
Zoot (sax)
Lips (trumpet)
Animal (drums)
Chrissy (Hammond B-3 organ)
Slim Wilson (guitar) (remember, Janice is needed on stage!)

Kermit would also be directing, so that's why he's relegated to a rather smallish role, although in the original Roger Corman film, Burson Fouch is a bit more important to the proceedings.

 

[Skeeter Muppet]

Skeeter Muppet and I have been throwing this idea around for years.

Though not as long as we've been throwing around the "Fiddler/Beaker on the Roof" idea...

-Kim

 

[UncleMatt'sBack]

PART ONE:

(The Muppets are bustling around backstage as Kermit is readying his next directorial triumph, a version of "Little Shop of Horrors". There are some mysterious objects under a dropcloth behind him.)

Kermit: "Hoo boy. Everything is perfect for this production. A near crisis occurred because Gonzo wanted to be Seymour, but I was able to make him happy by casting him as the dentist...and they're bringing in the actual Audrey II from the movie thanks to Fozzie's connections..."

Scooter: "Uh, Boss, we have a problem."

Kermit: "Scooter, don't tell me you forgot your lines again."

Scooter: "Worse than that, Boss! It seems that Audrey II called in sick!"

Kermit: "Oh no! What happened?"

Scooter: "Apparently the plant ate something that disagreed with it."

Kermit: "I hate to ask, but what did it eat?"

Scooter: "Bangkok."

Kermit: "Great, a man-eating plant that has problems with Thai food. What am I going to do now?"

(enter Bunsen and Beaker)

Bunsen: "Pardon us, Mr. Kermit, but we couldn't help overhear your predicament. We at Muppet Labs have been interested in puppet building for years for some bizarre reason, so we made some brand new plant puppets! (pulls back the dropcloth to reveal three brand-spanking new plant puppets)

Kermit: "No tricks? They won't come alive on their own?"

Bunsen: "Affirmative, Mr. Kermit! Nothing could go wrong with these plant puppets. After all, I am an expert puppet builder."

Beaker: "Meep meep!"

Bunsen: "Yes, Beaker, I know you helped."

Kermit: "Wow! These puppets are great...wait a minute. We need FOUR plant puppets for this one. What about the second pod?"

(enter Mokey & Lanford from the previously unseen Fraggle hole)

Mokey: "Well, I couldn't help but overhear your problem, Kermit, and since I am always willing to help a friend in need, you can use Lanford for your show!"

Kermit (as Scooter is shaking his head no and making gestures as if to talk him out of it): "Hmmm...well, he'd only be in one number, and Scooter would be holding him the whole time...I don't see what could go wrong with that."

Scooter: *growls quietly and facepalms*

Mokey: "Lanford...you remember Scooter, don't you? Say hi to Scooter, Lanfy!"

Lanford: *growls and lunges at Scooter*

Kermit: "Sheesh. Well, Bunsen, I gotta say, job well done. *looks at the third and fourth pods, which have orange prickers under its lower jaw and one fang that looks as if to be a bit more gold than others* But we still need a voice, and..." (doesn't notice Dr. Teeth standing behind him)

Dr. Teeth: "FEED ME!"

(Kermit jumps so high he nearly hits the ceiling.)

Kermit: "W-what the...OK, Dr. Teeth, you can be the plant voice!"

Dr. Teeth: "All RIIIIIGHT!"

Kermit: "OK, everybody, let's get this show on the road!"

(Part Two to come soon!)

 

[MartyMuppets]

Excellent I love it. Bring on part two

 

[UncleMatt'sBack]

Glad you liked it. Did you get the little in-joke about Bunsen being a puppet builder?

 

[MartyMuppets]

You mean the irony of a puppet being an expert at building puppets?

 

[UncleMatt'sBack]

Actually, it's because Dave Goelz is also a puppet builder in addition to performing characters (including, of course, Bunsen). Same as the in-joke about Fozzie being able to get the Audrey II from the movie to show up. (Do I have to explain that one?)

 

[UncleMatt'sBack]

PART TWO:

Kermit is now standing in front of the red curtain.

Kermit: "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, we're doing something a little different..."

Waldorf: "A little different?"

Statler: "You mean you're actually going to put on a good show?"

Kermit: "Will you two knock it off? Anyway, tonight we will be putting on our own production of that classic musical, 'Little Shop of Horrors'!"

Waldorf: "That's not different!"

Statler: "We get that EVERY show!"

Kermit: "Lucky they're friends of both Fozzie's mom and Scooter's uncle...Anyway, we've worked really hard on this and we hope the rest of you will enjoy the Muppets' version of 'Little Shop of Horrors'!"

*the lights black out and a large placard that reads 'LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS' is shown. As the music starts, we see the lights come up on the rest of the stage...Sweetums, as a wino, is sleeping on one side, near a trash can...*

Kermit: *thrusting a script into Sam's feathers* "Sam, could you read this part?"

Sam: "Do I have to do EVERYTHING in this WEIRD, TWISTED show? I don't even know why you cast me as Mushnik...I do not PERFORM!"

Kermit: *flashing back to Sam's performance in "Muppet Treasure Island"* "Yes you do, Sam. Trust me, you'll be great!"

Sam: *looks at Kermit suspiciously, then reads, but is in the wings so he's not visible to the audience* "On the 21st day in the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to irs very existence. And this terrifying, WEIRD enemy surfaced--as such WEIRDOS often do--in the seemingly most innocent--but WEIRD anyway--and unlikely of places."

Kermit: *facepalms* "I've heard of artistic license, but he should have his revoked."

*The placard disappears and we see, with their backs turned to us, Skeeter, Annie Sue, and Janice, who turn around and start singing in tight three-part harmony...*

J, AS & SKEETER: "LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF TERROR

CALL A COP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

NO OH OH OH NO!

LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

BOP SH'BOP, LITTLE SHOP OF TERROR

WATCH 'EM DROP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

NO OH OH OH NO!"

Skeeter: "SHING-A-LING, WHAT A CREEPY THING TO BE HAPPENING!"

ALL THREE: "LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!"

Annie Sue: "SHANG-A-LANG, FEEL THE STURM AND DRANG IN THE AIR!"

ALL THREE: "YEAH YEAH YEAH!"

Janice: "SHA LA LA, STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, DONT'CHA MOVE A THING...YOU BETTER..."

ALL THREE: "YOU BETTER, TELLIN' YOU YOU BETTER

TELL YOUR MAMA SOMETHIN'S GONNA GET HER

SHE BETTER

EVERYBODY BETTER BEWAAAAARE..."

(All three move around the stage as we also see shots of the band playing the bridge of the song)

ALL THREE: "LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

BOP SH'BOP, YOU'LL NEVER STOP THE TERROR

LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

NO...NO NO NO NO...NO NO NO NO...NO NO NO NO..."

(As the song ends to applause, the set opens up to reveal a rather pathetic-looking flower shop, where Sam--as Mushnik--is sitting, reading a newspaper. The three girls take their places next to Sweetums and the trash can, and various other Muppets are milling about as denizens in the midst of urban decay. Any flowers in the shop look horrible at best, and the place is certainly uninhabited by customers...)

Statler: "Hey, you, writing this, sounds like the Muppet Theatre on a good day!"

Statler & Waldorf: "DOHHHH, HO HO HO!"

(Part 3 coming soon!)

 

[MartyMuppets]

Looking really great. Keep it up.

 

[Kiki]

Hey, that's really good, keep up the good stuff!