Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[The Count]

Is sokay. Just update yer stories when you can please. Happen to find those quite enjoyable.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Certainly, mate!
Updatin' the story tonight it seems!
After I be gettin' these classes over it.

 

[Beakerfan]

A large hole has been torn through the door of room 24. Sweetums and Bean come running out, carrying silver shackles and large nets.

Bean: Which way did she go?

Sweetums: I dunno... you go that way, I'll go this way!

Bean: Ok! *they both run and crash into each other, then pick themselves up and run opposite directions*

 

[Winslow Leach]

Cookie: (only half noticing how strange people are acting in Tony's room finishes up every last crumb of the cookie feast) Mmmm that best meal me ever ate. It like a Cookie Monster Thanksgiving. (gestures up to the heavens) Thank you! (sees cottage cheese and crackers on tray) Hmm...what this little morsel? (sniffs it and pops one into his mouth)

Suddenly reverts back to his normal self, as he sees Cookie with the cottage cheese.

Tony: COOKIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

[Winslow Leach]

POOF!

Tony turns back into a goth. This time, the transformation is more severe: he is even moodier, wears black lipstick, dark eyeshadow, and his fingernails are pained black.

He opens the door to his room, and walks into the hall.

Tony walks up and down the hall, reciting his latest "poem," in a dead, dull and lifeless voice.

Little penguin,
Why can't you fly?
Little stubby wings
Hang uselessly by your side.

Do you like that
You're the laughing-stock
Of the birdie kingdom?
Huh? Do you?

I know how much
You hurt, you little
Birdies clad in tuxedos
That you're forced to wear.

As I stare into your
Little birdie eyes,
I can see a tear,
A tear shed for useless wings.

Why do you waddle
When you walk?
I bet that is very
Humiliating for you.

Little penguins,
The world sees you
As ridiculous little
Waddlers who can't fly.

But I see you differently.
Despite what the movies
Tell me, I know you can't dance.
But that doesn't bother me.

I feel like a penguin
Every day of my life.
A laughing-stock on
This planet called Earth.

Tony lays down in the middle of the hallway, and stares at the ceiling, completely still.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Meanwhile, in Tony's room...

Lefty has become a totally kind and generous individual...

Lefty: Hey, how are you feelin' today, Mr. Newsman?

Newsman: Better.

Lefty: That's splendid to hear! (looks at Crazy Harry) Oh, why is dat poor man tied down?

Newsman: Let him be. Tony tied him down for our safety.

Lefty: Dat's ridiculous! Dis fella wouldn't harm a fly!

Newsman: Lefty, no!

Lefty begins to undo Crazy Harry.

Lefty: Look at dose eyes...do dose eyes look like da eyes of a crazy man?

Newsman: Lefty, listen to me: you're not yourself!

Lefty: Nonsense. I've never felt better!

Newsman: Last night, Bunsen served you, Tony, Beaker and Phil cottage cheese...cottage cheese that he created! Once you eat it, you turn into the exact opposite of your personality!

Lefty has removed Crazy Harry's straightjacket. He takes the gag out of Harry's mouth.

Lefty: Dere ya go! Now yer free!

Harry leaps off of his cot and slides under the Newsman's bed. From beneath, we can hear him giggling.

Newsman: Now look what you've done! Hey...what's he doing under my bed?

Lefty: Nothin'...probably...(takes a lollipop out of his coat) Lollipop?

Newsman: No.

Lefty unwraps the lollipop and puts it in his mouth.

Lefty: I dunno what yer so woirried about. Harry's as harmless as a buzzard! I bet he forgives ya fer havin' him tied down. Why, I'll lay ya two ta one he's gonna go out an' buy you a box of candy or somethin' nice to apologize. I'm sure whatever he has planned fer ya, you're gonna get a real charge outta it!

Crazy Harry (from under the Newsman's bed) Did somebody say charge ? !

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The Newsman's bed leaps into the air, and crashes to the floor...but the Newsman isn't in it. He is on the ceiling. His face is pressed against the ceiling, and his arms and legs are spread apart, as if he is making a snow angel.

Crazy Harry rolls out from under the bed, and rolls around the floor, eyes bulging, laughing maniacally.

Crazy Harry: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lefty (calmly takes a lollipop out of his coat, and offers it to Harry) Lollipop?

 

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *panting* Found her yet?

Bean: Nope! Where could she have gone?

Sweetums: She's got four legs now! She could be anywhere by now!

Bean: Do... do you think she meant what she said? She's gonna get her revenge on Beaker?

Sweetums: Naw, she's ok about it now.

Meanwhile, something quietly lurks about the dorms, sniffing out its prey.....

 

[The Count]

*Count and Uncle D leave the room for a quick stroll to spot any of their fiends who might have decided to visit for the weekend.
Count: So, have you heard about the verewolf?
UD: No... What did you say it was again?
Count: Verewolf.
UD: Not sure... You had it last.
*Slight grimace at the old joke.

Hmmm... Wonder what'd happen if a she-wolf caught herself a poor defenseless bunny rabbit. Maybe they'd mate... And a cute wittle wererabbit would be born to become the next top spokesmodel. Eh, crazier things have happened and stranger creatures have been known to roam the world.
*Turns back to ponder while getting ready for Thursday night TV as soon as the boys get back from their tour d'horrorce.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony is still laying on the hallway floor.

If I never got out of bed, would anyone notice? Would anyone care? No. No one would care. I wouldn't be missed. I am Mr. Cellophane. People look right through me, and walk right by me. They don't even know I'm there! No...I wouldn't be missed. Not by anyone...

 

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: *running down the hall* Hey Tony! *screeches to a stop and does a double take* Tony? What's wrong with you? Sheesh, everyone's changing!