Whoa boy, I was really hoping I’d never have to go to this dark place again...
This guy I’ve been seeing told me last night that while he’s really enjoying our relationship in the short term, he’s uncertain as yet about the long term, due to our very different personalities. He says he’s not breaking up with me, he still wants to enjoy what we have for now, but it was still pretty chilling to hear. I’ll be honest, if this doesn’t work out, I don’t see too many other options for me; I’m no social butterfly and trying by artificial means (dating sites, speed dating) has failed embarrassingly all around. I was hoping I wouldn’t find myself in this situation at my age, but then again, I’m not sure why I expected anything else. I already have never liked my personality, frankly it’s always been a challenge just getting through a day with myself. Heck, a minute. People are nice enough to me in a “let’s be nice for a minute to the awkward, sweet girl who talks too much about Star Trek” kind of way. And I’ve already had to break up with a guy I loved very much. Yes, he wasn’t good for me, but at least he wanted me around. At least we did have a lot in common. Everyone said I should be happy he’s gone, but I’ve never felt so miserable in my life. This new relationship was unexpected and had finally brought some light back, and now if my personality becomes a direct reason for ruining this, I don’t know what I’m going to do...