The New New Quote Thread

Pig'sSaysAdios

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Adam Hill: So, if you were a couple, you know how Brad and Angelina became "Brangelina"; what would Kermit and Miss Piggy be if it was combined?
Miss Piggy: Oh, well we've been called lots of things...
Kermit: "Friggy"
Piggy: Yeah...
Kermit: Um, "Permit"
Piggy: Oh, and this one I hated..."Hogwarts!"
 

antsamthompson9

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Lewis Gagalgah's version of Lydia the Tattooed Lady:
Lydia, she lived in North Carolina, and she was forced to put tattoos on her body by her mother, who wished she could have tattoos, but her skin condition didn't let her put tattoos on her body, so she went to the tattoo place, and she said "I want a skunk right here, and I want a church right here to represent all the time I spent in church", and then she had two tattoos on herself!
 

ConsummateVs

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"Ohhhh... I should eat a pony."

- Senor Cardgage
I love Cardgage, he cracks me up! :laugh:

Here are my favorite quotes from him:

"Oh, excardon me!"
"No probalo!"
"Low rates, percent signs, I dunno..."
"Act now and see if you can stand to talk to me for more than four seceonds."
"Good eefening, Bontilda. Forty twone will be on your lest."
"Dump tell no mandy, it's just a land mower turned bankways! If you help me buy it, I'll cut you in!"
"I got fourteen degrees while on my lunch take. Now I can legally prescribe marriages in the state of Kansattica."
"No, this steak samwich is Beverly clearly my comprooter, Bathsheba."
"Where is Tompkins? Where is coleslaw? Here I am..."
"Prude me in, Couch Z. I'm Reggie Toupée."
 

Froggy Fool

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"You're a beautiful woman, probably." - The 4th Doctor
 

D'Snowth

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BUYER: The view is good enough to blow your mind!
CHARLIE HORSE: I'm glad she has one.
HUSH PUPPY: I want one too.
 

antsamthompson9

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This is for anyone who might find it difficult to get used to Matt or Peter's Robin and Jen's Zoe. From the Let's Talk Muppets podcast discussing episode 14 of the ABC series.
JD Hansel: This really is the first time we're getting a Robin focused production that's featuring Matt's Robin. I'm glad I've seen him do Robin before, so I knew what to expect. Because I think if you're going right off of Muppet Christmas Carol, and then you turn on this episode, it's like "Whoa, what happened?" Cause there's a pretty huge shift in the vocals. Robin's voice is so close to Jerry's natural voice, and what Matt has said before is that it's easier for him to do the really character-y voices, those are a lot easier, but when you're dealing with stuff that's so close to Jerry's natural voice or any of the performers natural voices, that's when it gets difficult to duplicate it. So I think that now that I have seen Matt's Robin a few times here and there, I was used to it enough that I was able to enjoy his performance in this episode. I thought he did some very cute and funny things with Robin, made him a very lovable character as always, and even with some of the little vocal things, he was doing a very nice job with those even though the voice doesn't quite match, and even if it doesn't, this is Robin many years later, so we should expect some tiny amount of growth in the voice I would think.
Chris Harris: Right. I had not seen a whole lot of Matt's performance as Robin, so I was thrown a little bit when it first started, but it didn't take me long to get into it and appreciate what he was doing with the character.
 

LittleJerry92

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Thomas: I was born on a cold winter's night in Kiev... But I was abandoned as a baby and declared property of the state. The KGB raised me to be the perfect weapon. No family or loyalties, except for Mother Russia. Some years ago, I was embraced by a new "mom" - the Ministry of Metal Management. The KGB agency dedicated to Park research and espionage. Russian Park's technology is decade behind rest of the world, and in the world's stearter (couldn't make out this part), we are a laughing stock. What made American parks so good? We couldn't crack it. The order came from Commander Romanoff: Operation Park Lift. We would obtain bogus credentials and sneak into the states. I would become "Thomas", an average college student. We entered the U.S., with surprisingly little resistance! Phase 1: travel to Target site, inquire about internship opportunities.... Say you will work for free. At the first chance possible, I would risk my life for the park. I would gain my co-worker's trust. I would fade into the background. I would say and do almost nothing. Phase 2: make preparations for phase 3. Execute phase 4 orders. Transmit phase 5 intelligence, relating to phase 6, silencing potential threats to phase 7.
 

antsamthompson9

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A discussion about Muppet Thoughts of the Week:
Steve Swanson: OK, here's the thing, this is my problem with a lot of Muppet fan sentiment in general, people are happy because these videos are there on the Internet, but are they funny? Are they entertaining, is this really what you wanna see the Muppets doing?
JD Hansel: What I will say is when they come up in my Facebook feed and I have time to watch them, I watch them and usually kinda like them. That being said, will I ever actively seek out or make time for Muppet Thoughts of the Week? Do I consider them something I need to see to be a good Muppet fan? Absolutely not.
Steve: Thank you! That's exactly what I'm saying.
JD: But I'm glad they exist because, in today's pop culture, you have to keep social media warm. If it's not this, it's gonna be stupid little animated GIFs. That's all we're gonna get from the Muppets until they actually have time to do something big. It would be nice if they were gonna put on a big musical for us to watch, but they're still getting ready to do that in September at the Hollywood Bowl. That's coming up, we're getting there. But in the meantime, you gotta keep the YouTube channel warm, and this is what they're able to produce quickly.
Steve: But it's not warm. It's a lukewarm cup of coffee, that's the problem. It isn't anything of substance, it doesn't have much caffeine in it, it doesn't give you much of a jolt, it's just moving pictures of the Muppets on the Internets. It's not terrible, I don't wanna down-talk it that much, but you and I know where these characters came from. We know what they're capable of.
JD: Oh my gosh, you're taking this so seriously!
Steve: Well I know, but we know what those performers are capable of, but now it's a lukewarm cup of coffee on the internet. I'm more angry that they aren't being given the licence to just go out and do what they do and be funny. My favorite stand-up comedian is Louis CK. If Louis CK was handcuffed to say "You can't come out on your Netflix special and open with that thing you wanna open with. You have to talk about dirty socks in the dryer and how they toss around in the dryer." You can't take people who are as talented as the Muppet performers, writers and producers are, and they are that good. I know they're that good, I've talk with them. There are things I can never tell you about that they're that good at, and they have to come out and do this! It is so disappointing. Because the characters could be so much more than they are, and that's what breaks my heart every time I see them.
JD: You're just not being fair. Because to a large extent, these videos are made by the same people who make the things you like. The difference is this is what they're able to do when they only got a little budget and a little bit of time. If you're gonna expect high quality from them, then you're just not being realistic. You're raising the bar so high for people who are just trying to do something that will keep the YT channel active. This is a simple project, they don't have the time or money to invest everything they want to in it, but the fact that they're taking the time to give us this is nice. It's courteous. And clearly they are actually putting some thought and time into this because, I think some of it is ad-libed. And they're bringing back characters they didn't have to bring back. They don't have to do anything with Walter now. If they didn't give a darn, they would just stick with the main characters we all know and love. But they're bringing characters that only I know and love like Walter. And that's great, I think that's awesome. So they're trying, they're giving a darn. But when you're dealing with a department of Disney that clearly Disney doesn't wanna give any money to right now, it's kinda amazing that they're able to make productions of the quality that we're getting. And I'm happy with them, I'm glad they're here. And when they get the chance to take more time and be more devoted to a project and we get something bigger and better, we can be thankful for that. But in the meantime, don't cheat the people who are for probably very little pay putting time and effort into making something with what little resources they have now. And besides, when you see the Muppeteers doing this great improvisation and being really funny all of the top of their heads, very often that's a situation in which they actually take the time required on a set in a big group to facilitate that kinda joking around when they're working with a long full length script if not a very good script, and here they got 10 seconds. And 10 second bits normally have to be simple and scripted and there just isn't enough time for the ad-lib. So I think you're trying to give the Muppet performers and writers a compliment by saying they can do better than this, but really you're insulting them by looking a gift horse in the mouth and saying "You can do better this, why aren't you doing better than this? Why aren't you in what little time you have with what little money you have meeting up to my high standards?" How dare you? Like who the heck are you, Steve?
 
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