Songs You Can't Stand

[Drtooth]

No, Meghan, you're not bringin' booty back. Booty has never died out, Meghan. Booty is one of three parts of the female body that superficial men have always obsessed over and always will (the other two are about three feet higher, and on the front).

I'm sure we can all agree that was a weak reference to Justin Timberlake's sort of comedy, sort of not song "I'm Bringing Sexy back." With all the care and detail of quoting other movie lines in earlier Dreamworks movies.

 

[D'Snowth]

Hey Drtooth, guess what? I heard that other Meghan Trainor song you were talking about for the first time yesterday. The one where she sings, "Tell me do ya think I'm dumb?" And yes, like you, I too found myself saying, "YES!!!"

Makes me wonder how some people with decent voices are never given a choice, then we have to put up with robo-voiced singers like her.

 

[Drtooth]

There's this awful Red Bull commercial that uses this terrible song from a band called Awolnation. It's so incredibly off pitched and off key and low as heck... anyone remember the episode of South park with the Brown Note?

Hearing the really low pitch singers belching (growling) out "UHLL OF DESE THEHNGS, BEHBEE UHLL AH DEM..." or however it goes... it sounds like stomach upset set to a record playing at the wrong speed.

 

[Drtooth]

Seems those Red Bull commercials stopped airing. Maybe too many complaints about pooped pants from those brown notes? Maybe it was so low pitched and awful, too many TV sound systems were destroyed?

Anyway, new one. There's a terrible song called "Whistle while you Work It" that seems to be self contained in a Shoedazzle commercial and therefore thankfully hasn't polluted the rest of the world. But even then, it's as terrible as you'd think it was. While not as off key as "UHHLL UH DESE TINGS, MEBBY UHHLLL A DEM," it's still some talentless twat doing a terrible Katy Perry impersonation.

 

[Luke kun]

Now that "Annoying Robot Voice" (ugh, I mean, "All About That Bass") is being used for diaper commercials, a lyric from the song actually stands out now, but it's a gravely inaccurate lyric:

"I'm bringin' booty baaaack!"

No, Meghan, you're not bringin' booty back. Booty has never died out, Meghan. Booty is one of three parts of the female body that superficial men have always obsessed over and always will (the other two are about three feet higher, and on the front).

If anything, we need to be bringin' legs back, but I think Angelina Jolie killed that for a lot of people a few years back when she made that pathetic attempt to show off her chicken leg at an award show.

THE BABY AD

 

[D'Snowth]

Really, any Taylor Swift song, because really, all her songs are basically the same "I was the one you should have chosen instead of her, so it's your loss".

I'm gonna say it: I know I made that post four years ago, but I feel even stronger about that sentiment now more than ever. Why? Because every single froggin' time Taylor releases a new song, they wear it out on the radio over and over and over and over and over and overandoverandover, and over, and over, and over, andoverandoverandover . . . and over, and over, and over, and OVER AND OVER AND OVER ANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERSHUTUPPISSOFFDIESHUTUPPISSOFFDIESHUTUPPISSOFFDIE!

Seriously, there's always a new Taylor Swift song that just pollutes the radiowaves, and it drives you crazy. Four years ago, it was her shrieking out, "WEEE are NEVER-NEVER-NEVER gettin' back together!" Three years ago it was that song where she sings about wearing t-shirts and short shorts. Two years ago it was that song where she sounds like a monkey in the refrain, "EEE-EEE-EEE-EEE!" Then her balls drop when she sings, "Truh-boo, truh-boo, truh-boo!" Last year was when she thought she was being clever and taking a swipe at her haters by trying to sing like a black girl for whatever reason. This year, it's that song where she sings about having red lips and rosy cheeks.

I mean it seriously gets to a point where it sounds like you've somehow accidentally tuned into the All-Taylor-All-The-Time station.

And what makes it even sadder is there's a bunch of misguided tween girls out there who unfortunately look upon her as a role model, and think her music is the best thing the world has to offer.

 

[fuzzygobo]

20 years ago or more, all we had to put up with not liking was "I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt".
Oh, the pangs of nostalgia. 8)

 

[D'Snowth]

Has that song really been around that long? I remember the first time I heard it was on a bonus feature on the SHREK 2 DVD, in which they have an AMERICAN IDOL-esque singing competition, and Prince Charming sang that song - it was hilarious.

 

[cjd874]

I'm gonna say it: I know I made that post four years ago, but I feel even stronger about that sentiment now more than ever. Why? Because every single froggin' time Taylor releases a new song, they wear it out on the radio over and over and over and over and over and overandoverandover, and over, and over, and over, andoverandoverandover . . . and over, and over, and over, and OVER AND OVER AND OVER ANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERANDOVERSHUTUPPISSOFFDIESHUTUPPISSOFFDIESHUTUPPISSOFFDIE!

Seriously, there's always a new Taylor Swift song that just pollutes the radiowaves, and it drives you crazy. Four years ago, it was her shrieking out, "WEEE are NEVER-NEVER-NEVER gettin' back together!" Three years ago it was that song where she sings about wearing t-shirts and short shorts. Two years ago it was that song where she sounds like a monkey in the refrain, "EEE-EEE-EEE-EEE!" Then her balls drop when she sings, "Truh-boo, truh-boo, truh-boo!" Last year was when she thought she was being clever and taking a swipe at her haters by trying to sing like a black girl for whatever reason. This year, it's that song where she sings about having red lips and rosy cheeks.

I mean it seriously gets to a point where it sounds like you've somehow accidentally tuned into the All-Taylor-All-The-Time station.

And what makes it even sadder is there's a bunch of misguided tween girls out there who unfortunately look upon her as a role model, and think her music is the best thing the world has to offer.

Remember when T-Swift used to put out country music? That was 2008. Things changed considerably since then. There was a complete artistic and emotional 180-degree turn (the switch to pop music, the beef with John Mayer, break-ups) that resulted in her reaching out to a wider audience. I'm not the biggest fan of her music, but you can't deny that she's become a global sensation because she hits the right chord with the right audience, thus resulting in more sold-out tours and higher album sales. I personally prefer Adele's approach to songwriting and dealing with emotional heartbreak...it's much more appealing, as compared to T-Swift screaming out, "WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH AGAIN!"

Although I do like "Style." And "I Knew You Were Trouble" was perfect material for the screaming goat videos on YouTube.

 

[D'Snowth]

Remember when T-Swift used to put out country music? That was 2008.

No, I don't. I really don't. And I remember 2008 vividly, because it was my favorite year of my life. But seriously, Taylor's music has always sounded like tweenybop pop music as far as I can remember.