The Worst CGI Kid Films In Recent Memory

[Drtooth]

There are a few good ones in there. I'd say Astro Boy is deep down a film that wants to be good, but watching it you can pinpoint the exact moment Imagi went bankrupt. And it's a shame, since the film gets very uneven, but it has a strong start and a decent ending. Plus, it's hardly the worst of the three Western Audience made anime films. Just... the film has a sad crescendo for the company that once had so much promise. Especially if you followed the mess that was the aborted TMNT sequel. Warner Bros and Imagi wanted a wacky comedy, Peter Laird (this was just before he sold to Nickelodeon) put his foot down and multiple scripts surfaced before the rights ran out. Plus, dangit, I wanted that Gatchaman movie.

Still, I remember there was a 3 movie pack with Barnyard, something that was good I can't remember at the top of my head, and that boring Yogi Bear movie at Target. Barnyard isn't a bad film, it's nothing special and the animated series that resulted from it was surprisingly good. I'd almost have bought the thing (Hey! It was only 10 bucks), but Barnyard was in full frame, and nothing can justify me owning Yogi Bear no matter HOW big a Hanna Barbera fan I am (though, to be fair, I'd rather watch that whole plodding mess again than a second of freaking Yo Yogi). And I can't for the life of me remember what the other film was.

 

[cuppajoe95]

Still, I remember there was a 3 movie pack with Barnyard, something that was good I can't remember at the top of my head, and that boring Yogi Bear movie at Target. Barnyard isn't a bad film, it's nothing special and the animated series that resulted from it was surprisingly good. I'd almost have bought the thing (Hey! It was only 10 bucks), but Barnyard was in full frame, and nothing can justify me owning Yogi Bear no matter HOW big a Hanna Barbera fan I am (though, to be fair, I'd rather watch that whole plodding mess again than a second of freaking Yo Yogi). And I can't for the life of me remember what the other film was.

I went and Googled it and... that film you don't remember is actually Rango.

Fun fact: Like a certain film about wolves, Barnyard was also released in Iran. Apparently, despite not being an official dub, it was still a success there, or at least that's what TV Tropes tells me.

 

[Drtooth]

(Slams head on desk) ARGH! Rango! I can't believe I forgot it was Rango. Yeah. I was looking at that set because it was cheaper than tracking both those two down separately, but to have a full frame DVD made past 2008... I know these are just collections of already released DVD's, but it's not like they didn't release Barnyard in Wideframe.

But yeah. It's not a bad movie, just not a great one. The intention was similar to Jimmy Neutron, making a pilot film released to theaters to make a cartoon series out of it. Other than a few name celebrities, you mostly had the likes of Cam Clarke and Rob Paulsen (that's 2 of the original Turtles right there). The difference being, the cartoon is far funnier and much more in tune with Nickelodeon cartoons. And, quite honestly, Chris Hardwick did a much better job as Otis than Kevin James. Of course, the show really picks up after a few episodes where they're trying to emulate the movie. Then they gave up and it became insane.

 

[cuppajoe95]

A full frame DVD made after 2008?

Sheesh, you'd think the studios would know by now that almost everyone in this decade has at least one wide screen to watch movies on.

Not really CG-related, but I found out that the newer DVDs of Universal's many kids movies (e.g. The Cat in the Hat, Balto, An American Tail, The Little Rascals etc.) are in full screen... even though they were released in 2015!

Not to mention that they sport the most uninspired cover designs I've ever seen for a kids' movie from a major studio. Here's a look!

I saw some of these on the same trip to Walmart where I bought the multipack.

 

[Drtooth]

That's the unfortunate new trend. That's the same reason why movie posters for kid's movies are uninspired white backdrops with the characters just sitting there. Supposedly the "logic" behind this move is that kids are too stupid and or Mr. Magoo levels of visually impaired that the only way a DVD can pop off the shelf is if it has the character's big faces and dull single colors put on them. And I want to believe Warner Bros started that trend with their "[Warner Bros licensed video character] And Friends" line. Which were mostly old single disk DVD's repackaged for preschoolers and their confused and none too bright parents. Even with stuff like Gumball and Adventure Time. I get the DVD market is drying up, but this trend is ridiculous. Even the worst bootleg DVD's have better packaging art. Even East West hires a professional illustrator that probably costs more than the entire line of DVD's they produce.

Seriously. These things are in the crappiest cases you ever saw that damages the heck out of the disks, and the disks don't even have menus. Skipping through chapters is all manual. And even they commission art for their product!

 

[cuppajoe95]

It might be an attempt to draw the child's attention towards the character... but remember when the poster or video art for a children's movie was something like these?:

* The protagonist(s) in front surrounded by characters and objects from the movie flying all over the place.
* All the protagonists in front with the villain peering menacingly from a corner.

No way would those escape a child's notice, not to mention that those had plenty of effort put into them. I guess that in addition to the above, they think that people's eyes cannot handle anything overly colorful.

Seriously, when even someone on deviantART can design a better cover for these DVDs than someone paid by a major studio, that's not a good sign.

 

[Drtooth]

Seriously, when even someone on deviantART can design a better cover for these DVDs than someone paid by a major studio, that's not a good sign.

I highlighted you answering your own question.

Paid. Being paid. That's the key word. That's why movie posters are all graphic design (and poor GD at that). I give Disney HUGE credit for getting Drew Struzan to come back and do some Star Wars posters, however. But then again, with movie posters these days it's like the last thing they bother with because...well...internet. We know about the movies years in advance, the trailers pop up online, there's no real need to advertise upcoming movies in the theaters where they used to be a big surprise when the posters were unveiled. The money for all these things goes to press tours and internet promotion. The posters are only there for the most casual of the casual moviegoer. If not, flat out decoration, that is.

But with DVD's, well...okay, it's the same principle. Streaming is killing the physical market, obvs. The only way kiddy DVD's sell is if they're so incredibly bland looking that 3 year olds throw them in the cart. And depending, kiddy DVD's can be a movie or they can be those awful 4-5 episodes of a show on DVD for 10 bucks. You know, the kind that are considered a scam waste of money in an era of box sets. Box sets that are obsolete because of Netflix and or Hulu and some piracy.

I don't quite buy the "popping up for 2 year olds" gag. My theory is either it's cheaper to get some intern to crop Casper's head on a solid color background than it is to pay the royalties for the already produced piece of artwork these DVD's used to have, that they're subliminally trying to get adults to think these cheap looking DVD's are somehow a better bargain (and they do retail for 5 bucks each most of the time, so that's not far fetched), or they're trying to bamboozle someone into thinking these are new by making the covers worse. Either way, it's cynical and cheap.

 

[Drtooth]

Okay. Brace yourselves. The absolute worst of the worst has finally surfaced thanks (or no thanks) to dycaite of Lost Media Wiki. And...well.... you've been warned.

Just...just... I saw like 2 seconds of it and couldn't... I just couldn't. But this unholy nightmare finally turned up, thus taking it from a near Creepypasta-esque faded memory to a horrifyingly terrible reality. And WHY isn't this on "So bad it's Horrible" yet?

 

[dycaite]

The absolute worst of the worst has finally surfaced thanks (or no thanks) to dycaite of Lost Media Wiki.

You're welcome(?)

 

[Drtooth]

Let's just hope all the internet critics jump on this. You may have just released something they'll go over wilder than the two Italian Titanic movies.