The Worst CGI Kid Films In Recent Memory

[Luke kun]

That had the excuse of being from the 80's.

This has no excuse.

None.

And that commercial features animation a crapload of a lot better than Wolf Tracer's garbage.

And supposedly the guy who did these movies is a real butthat as well. No wonder he blocked comments. Thing has 7 "likes," and while I'm sure one or two of them are ironic, I'm sure he made his friends (or just came up with a dummy account) like it. Just awful, awful stuff.

Yup. I actually mentioned that a few pages back. But seriously, these studios can do something like that, but WORSE.

 

[Drtooth]

Well, can't say I'm surprised. I bet this guy is another one of those people who takes criticism as a personal attack.

If I can remember the Lost Media Wiki staff's interactions with him, they were brutal. And they weren't even trying to antagonize the guy. The founder of the wiki actually got screwed out of a couple hundred dollars because Colin actually made a deal with him to sell a copy of the abomination, but...hehhehheh... didn't even contact him back when he got the money!

What a freaking tool. And he's apparently a complete jerk no matter what. So yeah. I wouldn't for a second doubt he couldn't take criticism for something face meltingly awful as Puppettech(TM, R, (C), IND), but even disregarding that, what a complete hole.

It's one thing to not stand up to your shoddy product, it's another to screw those who aren't even antagonizing you out of money for something that's not even worth it.

 

[cuppajoe95]

If I can remember the Lost Media Wiki staff's interactions with him, they were brutal. And they weren't even trying to antagonize the guy. The founder of the wiki actually got screwed out of a couple hundred dollars because Colin actually made a deal with him to sell a copy of the abomination, but...hehhehheh... didn't even contact him back when he got the money!

What a freaking tool. And he's apparently a complete jerk no matter what. So yeah. I wouldn't for a second doubt he couldn't take criticism for something face meltingly awful as Puppettech(TM, R, (C), IND), but even disregarding that, what a complete hole.

It's one thing to not stand up to your shoddy product, it's another to screw those who aren't even antagonizing you out of money for something that's not even worth it.

Yeah.

For all we know, he no doubt may very well have scammed the LMW user. I suspect he's also paranoid that other people are out to get him just because "we're haters who don't appreciate his artistic talents and creative genius"... or maybe not.

 

[Luke kun]

So they're making a movie based on PEZ. Ugh...

 

[Drtooth]

The Lego Movie worked because there was no way that it could have and yet there was no way it couldn't have. By all means, it could have just been a toy commercial of a movie, and yet managed to blow other toy commercials of movies with deeper mythos (which was screwed up) out of the water.

But by all means, Lego wasn't completely alien to media before the movie. They had a couple DTV movies and shows like Ninjago and Chima before hand and were able to build worlds with the sole intention of selling self licensed products. They even have specials and DTV movies of the licensed character sets...and video games. Video games, movies, and shows. All out of variations of their toys. And I'll just put it in there... considering it was the same writers, The Lego Movie was essentially Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs done right. By all means, they made an exciting movie that didn't at all come off as a commercial, and by all means it easily could have.

Then we have all these other companies thinking they can copy that exact same lightning in a bottle with other poorly defined toy lines. I'm even including that Heroes of Crayon City piece of crap. That was to sell crayons, and I'm sure Rose...errr...Cray Z Art needed a way to break out of Crayola's shadow. All and all, they're just going to be inferior clones with nothing likable.

And don't get me wrong. I LOVE Pez. I'm always up to collecting a new dispenser set! I almost fainted at the sight of Transformer Pez. I even have the Open Season set and I hate the living snot out of those abominations. But there's no story here. They're candy dispensers with licensed character faces on them as of the 60's. Used to be cigarette lighter looking things. There's absolutely no mythos or plot to be had. Just candy and plastic.

Seriously. Stop trying to be the Lego Movie, everyone. Lego can work on the premise of taking well know characters, mocking the heck out of them (even with Jurassic Park, where they use the actual dialogue from the movies straight up, they found a way), or even coming up with their own wacky characters. You don't even need the actual toys to enjoy them. They know what they're doing. What we're going to end up with is the equivalent of Battleship. Sure, G.I. Joe and Transformers could have worked better in the right hands, and I give them the benefit of the doubt (It's not like "B.O.T." or "Carnage in C Minor" were any better than Michael Bay, to say the least of the Unicron Trillogy). But Battleship was an idea that shouldn't have worked, but not only did it not work, it was worse than it could have been. That's what Play Doh and Pez are going to be like.

 

[cuppajoe95]

The Lego Movie worked because there was no way that it could have and yet there was no way it couldn't have. By all means, it could have just been a toy commercial of a movie, and yet managed to blow other toy commercials of movies with deeper mythos (which was screwed up) out of the water.

But by all means, Lego wasn't completely alien to media before the movie. They had a couple DTV movies and shows like Ninjago and Chima before hand and were able to build worlds with the sole intention of selling self licensed products. They even have specials and DTV movies of the licensed character sets...and video games. Video games, movies, and shows. All out of variations of their toys. And I'll just put it in there... considering it was the same writers, The Lego Movie was essentially Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs done right. By all means, they made an exciting movie that didn't at all come off as a commercial, and by all means it easily could have.

Then we have all these other companies thinking they can copy that exact same lightning in a bottle with other poorly defined toy lines. I'm even including that Heroes of Crayon City piece of crap. That was to sell crayons, and I'm sure Rose...errr...Cray Z Art needed a way to break out of Crayola's shadow. All and all, they're just going to be inferior clones with nothing likable.

And don't get me wrong. I LOVE Pez. I'm always up to collecting a new dispenser set! I almost fainted at the sight of Transformer Pez. I even have the Open Season set and I hate the living snot out of those abominations. But there's no story here. They're candy dispensers with licensed character faces on them as of the 60's. Used to be cigarette lighter looking things. There's absolutely no mythos or plot to be had. Just candy and plastic.

Seriously. Stop trying to be the Lego Movie, everyone. Lego can work on the premise of taking well know characters, mocking the heck out of them (even with Jurassic Park, where they use the actual dialogue from the movies straight up, they found a way), or even coming up with their own wacky characters. You don't even need the actual toys to enjoy them. They know what they're doing. What we're going to end up with is the equivalent of Battleship. Sure, G.I. Joe and Transformers could have worked better in the right hands, and I give them the benefit of the doubt (It's not like "B.O.T." or "Carnage in C Minor" were any better than Michael Bay, to say the least of the Unicron Trillogy). But Battleship was an idea that shouldn't have worked, but not only did it not work, it was worse than it could have been. That's what Play Doh and Pez are going to be like.

Agreed.

As a fan of MLP:FiM, I know for a fact that not every show or movie based on a consumer product sucks. But MLP at least has a world to build, characters to develop and stories to tell.

I suspect that a PEZ movie would use a generic "outcast tries to prove himself worthy of recognition" (i.e. a Gary Stu or Mary Sue made specifically for the film who wants to become a PEZ dispenser) or something lame like that.

 

[Drtooth]

As a fan of MLP:FiM, I know for a fact that not every show or movie based on a consumer product sucks. But MLP at least has a world to build, characters to develop and stories to tell.

Kinda what I said. A product has to have some sort of story to work as a film. Even ones that do manage to barely squeak by. Hasbro and Lego are both companies that built worlds with their products, and in most cases the story comes just before these things get to market. How else would you take a bunch of imported robot toys from different toy lines and make them even better? By giving them a mythos, of course. The cartoons sells the toy lines and the toy lines sell the cartoons. If you don't like one, you'll like the other and be drawn to both.

Pez doesn't have a story. Well, not one to tell like that. If there needs to be a Pez film, I'd much rather see a documentary about how the company started, how the candy dispensers came to be, and maybe some stories featuring die hard Pez heads with insanely comprehensive collections. THAT is a movie this Pez fan would pay to see. Not Lego Movie but with Pez and not as good.

 

[Drtooth]

UGH.... We have a real live one.

Just...just... I...really Lionsgate? REALLY?!?! This looks like this was a movie from 2003 that somehow was so unremarkable that they forgot about it until the cleaning crew found it in the back of a closet. If the Pez movie isn't "Outcast tries to prove himself worthy of recognition," this sure the heck is. And a nice unsubtle Green Aesop that would make Captain Planet blush. Nice one. Who wants to bet this will undeservedly make back it's budget and become a franchise and have a very undeserving DA fanbase?

And really? Rob Schnieder?

 

[cuppajoe95]

UGH.... We have a real live one.

Just...just... I...really Lionsgate? REALLY?!?! This looks like this was a movie from 2003 that somehow was so unremarkable that they forgot about it until the cleaning crew found it in the back of a closet. If the Pez movie isn't "Outcast tries to prove himself worthy of recognition," this sure the heck is. And a nice unsubtle Green Aesop that would make Captain Planet blush. Nice one. Who wants to bet this will undeservedly make back it's budget and become a franchise and have a very undeserving DA fanbase?

And really? Rob Schnieder?

Well, knowing Lionsgate and stuff like this... it's not too surprising that they'd want this on their hands. At least the only time a CGI film of theirs wasn't a gigantic hit was when Happily N'Ever After came out and only had ONE sequel.

 

[mr3urious]

I hope next January will be as unkind to this film as it was to Strange Magic.