Dealing with depression and anxiety

[charlietheowl]

I wish that I could just up and quit everything...

My dad sent a nasty letter through court, he and my mom are going to court soon (again) and, because I got upset, my mom yelled in my face that depression is my fault, that all I'm good for is making myself sick and that she hopes I have another seizure.

Oh, but, when you need like 90% of the court documents done in English I'm good for more, aren't I, mom? Naturally, because she can't learn to speak freakin' English, she uses me when it's convenient and I can't get out of it because I need to finish college.

But, yes. Please victim-blame the sufferer of said mental illness.
*please note my sarcasm there*

I wear my heart on my sleeve; always have and probably always will. You cannot tell me that I'm not allowed to feel anything, that's unnatural.

I mean, I even broke my phone arguing with her over it (I got it fixed pretty cheap but, never chuck an smartphone no matter how angry you are...)

I honestly wish that my parents had put me up for adoption so, then, maybe I would have a family who cares and I wouldn't have all these health problems (both physical and mental). My boyfriend doesn't like when I say that, because it hurts him to think that if that were the case, we might have never met and, as much as I do love him; I would take a life with a different family in a happy home over the life I have now in a heartbeat.

Again, all I wanna do is quit but, I can't...Though, if I couldn't trade everything away for a family and a happy home, I'd take quitting and or living out my days in a hole in Siberia or The Arctic for the rest of my days also...

Sounds like a tough situation to be in, having your parents act so negatively towards you and then depend on your help in certain situations. It seems like that perhaps the best course of action for you, like fuzzygobo said, might be to move out for a bit, even though that's obviously a lot easier said than done. Hopefully you can depend on your boyfriend for support and sympathy in a time like this.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Unfortunately you can't quit life, no matter how much it sucks right now. (There is one way out some people have chosen- I've contemplated it myself- but that is NOT the answer.)


Would it be possible to move out, live with your Abuela, or even maybe have your boyfriend's parents take you in- just to get away from your mom for a while? You don't need to be blamed for your mom's misfortunes, and this abuse isn't going to help your studies.
I'm like you in a number of ways. I moved out when I was nineteen because I couldn't live under my father's roof anymore. I would've gone insane too.

You have a boyfriend who cares about your happiness so much. He might be able to help you out and into a better place where you can have some peace of mind. You need that and deserve that.

I agree you cant quit, even though it feels like that's all that's left (I get like that sometimes, depression is a b!tch) but like Fuzzygobo said you do have a loving boyfriend and that's great because that is something to hold onto in those dark times. However crappy you feel you must try and remember that 'Hey someone loves me' and cling to that.

As tough as things seem now, the hard times won't last forever. But you can't quit.

Sounds like a tough situation to be in, having your parents act so negatively towards you and then depend on your help in certain situations. It seems like that perhaps the best course of action for you, like fuzzygobo said, might be to move out for a bit, even though that's obviously a lot easier said than done. Hopefully you can depend on your boyfriend for support and sympathy in a time like this.

Thanks everyone and, I to answer some questions, I do 'technically' live at abuela's during most of the week; I stay with her until all but Friday because, if I want to go out the next day (Saturday), I have to sleep at my mom's house but, part-time living with abuela is indeed, a relief for the most part and, then I do end up sleeping there on Saturday, Sunday, until Friday when I want to go out on the weekend again.

I have contemplated permanently ending things before but, that's a permanent solution to a temporary problem...And, I couldn't just abandon my boyfriend like that. Plus, I just landed my first internship and, I just made The Dean's List for 2nd year in a row! Again, I want to just cave and go crawl in a frozen hole but, I really can't.

Y'know, my parents will get theirs (I am going to stick them in cruddy retirement homes first chance I get; they have no other kids and, any family they might have will be too old themselves when that time comes), but, for now, I guess I've got to tread in this deep water and figure things out.

 

[PuppetMad]

Thanks everyone and, I to answer some questions, I do 'technically' live at abuela's during most of the week; I stay with her until all but Friday because, if I want to go out the next day (Saturday), I have to sleep at my mom's house but, part-time living with abuela is indeed, a relief for the most part and, then I do end up sleeping there on Saturday, Sunday, until Friday when I want to go out on the weekend again.

I have contemplated permanently ending things before but, that's a permanent solution to a temporary problem...And, I couldn't just abandon my boyfriend like that. Plus, I just landed my first internship and, I just made The Dean's List for 2nd year in a row! Again, I want to just cave and go crawl in a frozen hole but, I really can't.

Y'know, my parents will get theirs (I am going to stick them in cruddy retirement homes first chance I get; they have no other kids and, any family they might have will be too old themselves when that time comes), but, for now, I guess I've got to tread in this deep water and figure things out.

I'm glad you have somewhere to go to get away from things, that's important, and its great you have a good relationship with your abuela. Try and tough things out for awhile and enjoy your internship, I hope its all you want it to be.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I'm in massive physical pain all the time, doctors are clueless, and my family has to start screaming at me for daring to be in a bad mood. Pretty much guaranteed I'm not going to bed tonight, so if anyone's still around, so am I, heh.

 

[charlietheowl]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it must be terrible to be sick and not have any guidance from the doctors as to why. Plus it's not fair for your family to expect you to be happy when you're feeling sick. It sounds like a very tough situation. I hope you're doing better this morning.

 

[fuzzygobo]

That must suck to be in pain, or to feel really sick, and your family doesn't care about how you feel?
I've spent enough time in hospitals and know that's not a fun place to begin with. To be cooped up for any length of time and not feeling well doesn't help any.
But if your family can't give any support or compassion for your condition, let me.

 

[CensoredAlso]

Thanks, guys. I actually have a great family, it's just they can't handle stress of any kind whatsoever, lol.

 

[FraggleLover130]

I've struggled with depression on and off this year. It sucks. The worst part is, I manage to convince myself that I don't want to talk to the people who I know care about me. Instead, I somehow believe that the only people I want to talk to are the ones that I know don't give a ****. In this way, I manage to completely isolate myself. Plus, lately, I've felt that I have very few close friends, if any, so I'm very lonely. It's all kinda rough right now and support is good.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I've struggled with depression on and off this year. It sucks. The worst part is, I manage to convince myself that I don't want to talk to the people who I know care about me. Instead, I somehow believe that the only people I want to talk to are the ones that I know don't give a ****. In this way, I manage to completely isolate myself. Plus, lately, I've felt that I have very few close friends, if any, so I'm very lonely. It's all kinda rough right now and support is good.

I feel like I've done sort of the same thing. I guess there's so much more pressure associated with hanging around with people who care. It's hard for me to dwell on positive thoughts about myself for too long. Meanwhile, talking with people you know are going to be rude, say online, can become strangely addictive, heh.

 

[FraggleLover130]

Yeah, it's all pretty difficult. I took a minute to look at your profile, and from what limited knowledge I have of you, I can say that your taste in television and music is excellent! I'm sure there are lots of other good things about you, too. As for me, some of my best friends have also been drifting away, and it's like, well I thought they cared but I guess not too much, haha. Oh well, I have the Muppets and the internet