Behold! The Worst Cartoon Show of all time

[Drtooth]

Saw Major Lazer last night and loved it! Really, it's such a shame that Axe Cop, that show, and the ...well... actually entertaining, even though it's a TOTAL Regular Show knockoff Lucas Brothers (who are pretty funny themselves...loved them in 22 Jump Street and Arrested Development) still have to share airtime with High School USA and Stone Quackers. Luckily, it seems that either Quackers was moved to the 1 AM hour or dusted off the schedule for Lazer anyway.

I gotta admit, while I usually like their short intermission segments, I find the "Scientifically Accurate ________" cartoons lame and full of obvious jokes. Last night they had "Scientifically Accurate Pinky and the Brain" which showed them being mutated, tested on, forced to run electroshock mazes, and even forced to smoke. Or in other words exactly what they did in the freaking actual show to begin with. It's the equivalent of Epic Movie (or whatever) showing Wolverine flipping off a claw like a finger when he did it in an actual X-Men movie. It's not a horrible skit, but just eyerollingly "they did these jokes for real." I mean, it's below the level of that time I saw an unlicensed airbrush T-shirt (remember when those were a thing?) parody where the "same thing we do everynight" was marijuana. I swear, the "ruining childhood favorites" fad is well over. Especially when the show you're parodying is a hundred times more clever than obvious jokes. At least they paid to use the real theme song.

 

[mimitchi33]

I gotta admit, while I usually like their short intermission segments, I find the "Scientifically Accurate ________" cartoons lame and full of obvious jokes. Last night they had "Scientifically Accurate Pinky and the Brain" which showed them being mutated, tested on, forced to run electroshock mazes, and even forced to smoke. Or in other words exactly what they did in the freaking actual show to begin with. It's the equivalent of Epic Movie (or whatever) showing Wolverine flipping off a claw like a finger when he did it in an actual X-Men movie. It's not a horrible skit, but just eyerollingly "they did these jokes for real." I mean, it's below the level of that time I saw an unlicensed airbrush T-shirt (remember when those were a thing?) parody where the "same thing we do everynight" was marijuana. I swear, the "ruining childhood favorites" fad is well over. Especially when the show you're parodying is a hundred times more clever than obvious jokes. At least they paid to use the real theme song.

I've only seen this one, and it's pretty funny:

Speaking of NFL Rush Zone, back when it first aired, many people claimed that Rush Zone and Zevo3 (which aired at the same time) were commercials for the NFL and Sketchers and wanted to take them off the air. Since you hate it so much, DrTooth, if the people got their way early on in the game, it wouldn't have a single episode on air if the parent groups got their way.

 

[Drtooth]

Here's what I respect. NFL is an entertainment franchise (Sports counts as entertainment, even though it's a different branch) and by all means I have no problem with them trying to turn kids on to sports, especially playing them, with a cartoon series. Problem is, they did it in the poorest way possible. How is it that Japan has had the perfect formula for sports anime for decades, and the US gives us crap like Prostars and Hurricanes? At the very least, Monster League managed to be a decent sports cartoon show. But NFL Rush gets special mention. The excitement of football should be football. There's no need to dress it up much for a cartoon series, just follow the same sports cliches and you're fine. But no. They said "Hey, let's rip off Power Rangers, make them fight for the dumbest reasons possible, and throw in homunculi representing team mascots for good measure." It's all the wrong ingredients of a good cartoon show, especially one promoting sports.

So essentially, what makes NFL Rushzone fail is that it's trying to be everything sports isn't about with sports stuff crammed in. The action cartoon bits are generic and terrible, and the NFL branding is weak and intrusive. They even just cram in random NFL fact montages that are just there. BLAM type stuff. And the only thing that isn't funny about the series was the villain "Wild Card" who's just the blandest Cobra Commander knockoff. And they didn't even knockoff the good things about Cobra.

Meanwhile Eyesheild 21 was pretty freaking good. Why didn't they just dub that for kids? Even a neutered American kid's show anime dub is better than NFL Rushzone.

As for the shoe show, I agree. I know there are shows devoted to toy lines and video games with the explicit purpose of selling merchandise (but then of course most cartoons are all about merchandise without a toy line in mind), but with shoes? That was a bit much. I agree with them

 

[Drtooth]

...So, Fox put a trailer for Boarderlands up on Youtube.

Thing has twice as many dislikes as likes. More than twice as many, actually. I don't feel like putting it up here, but I might as well talk about it.

I don't think it's that bad. Unremarkable, disappointing that Seth didn't do the Flintstones instead, and I'd be ticked if it somehow interferes with the superior Bob's Burgers. But not that bad. I did like the joke about "How would you feel if foreigners ruined your land" with a bunch of spring breakers in the background. Wouldn't be surprised if this is a Cleveland Show deal and Seth just does a couple voices and collects a check, and he gets the blame for the whole thing if it sucks (though the first 2 Cleveland Show seasons were better than the lazy humor FG was suffering at the time).

Still, compared to High School USA and Stone Quackers (I refuse to even bother seeing a second episode of that), it doesn't look bad bad. Of course, next to SQ, anything looks good.

OH.

And on that subject, here's an episode of Astroboy that was farmed out to another animation firm that Tetzuka hated so much he wanted all copies of it destroyed. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for everyone else, it was destroyed after copies were sent to the US for the dub.

Yeah. Hilariously terrible. Astro looks like crap through the whole thing, and it's full of bizarre sight gags.

 

[mr3urious]

Yeah, Bordertown is unremarkable considering one of the writers is the creator of a political satire comic strip I like. Seems like both the whites and Latinos are portrayed as nothing but one-dimensional strawmen.

Also, the "deportation cannon" as shown here was done similarly in an episode of The Cleveland Show where Roberta gets a Mexican boyfriend, only there it was a catapult.

So yeah, I'd give this a thumb sideways if I could.

 

[Drtooth]

Personally, I don't think they can get much mileage out of this series. Seems like you can only go to the "racist white guys blame other cultures for their own failings" well so many times before it becomes repetitive. I have to admit, it looks like it deals with the immigration issue better than that lousy Family Guy episode. I'm really no fan of that one. Well, except for the "Rapid Dave" cutaway. For the record, the American Dad episode managed to get the point across more eloquently and subtly. I like how at the end, Haley even admits she was using one of them just as much as Stan was.

The character designs aren't the worst thing I've ever seen, I admit. Not eye bleeding by any means, but a little...off. It's like they all have Barry from American Dad's head. But NOT the pastel nightmare of Allen Gregory, or the Neon pain of Problem Solverz.

That said, I urge everyone to check out that Astroboy. It's almost like John K traveled back in time and threw random stupid gags in there. More than makes up for the ugliness of the episode overall.

 

[Drtooth]

I just watched some of The Cartoon Hero's review of the odd Alice in Wonderland "cartoon" movie via the link to TV Tropes. Now, he claims that anyone who's actually heard of it only knows it from that page exactly, but I've known about it since it was released(2010) via a YTP called "This is Your Brain on Drugs" by Oiramapap (formerly Igiulamam...read the names backwards). Don't think I should post it hear due to the language, but I'm going to do it anyway.

I agree with Cartoon Hero on the point of stealing the original public domain radio play that people actually worked hard on to make something good. I swear I remember some evidence that this thing was made by one person (still doesn't excuse the quality), but can't seem to find it anymore. I'd say old Igiulamam did a better commentary on how the Duchess is a racist figure by inserting the evil queen from Coal Black in there (and frighteningly, the queen in the Alice movie looks exactly like a bad MSPaint of her). Overall, I'm wondering why no one has brought up the fact the only thing that moves most of the time are the mouths and poorly at that. The White Rabbit's teeth somehow turn into two tiny, side by side mouths, and a ratlike creature's front top teeth detach from his mouth when he talks. Considering that I made this thread to talk about Clutch Cargo, even they managed to do a better job with the live action lady lips pasted on. This thing is outrageously bad, no kidding. Yet, this thing seems to have been otherwise hidden (like a certain CGI movie about an ugly, mismatched space crew that feels like I'm the only one that knows about it). The DVD wasn't sold in stores, just through an obscure website that appeared on the official trailer on Youtube (which was taken down within less than a year). The one that was used as the YTP's source material.

Which begs the question... if it wasn't for the YTP, would anyone even know that this thing existed at all?

 

[Drtooth]

I've freaking had it with Animation Domination HD. The entire week they've been advertising new Major Lazer only to have yet another week where they headline the worst friggin cartoons they have. Seriously. It's depressing. There's only 2 horrid cartoons out of their line up, and they have to freaking push the freaking shell out of them?! Lazer, Axe Cop, Golan, and Lucas Bros are all fine shows that offer something. High School USA is just obvious humor and Stone Quackers is just...the worst. How did John C. Reily get roped into that piece of crap? Really. Stop advertising new Lazer episodes and offering crap reruns of HSUSA and SQ.

On that note, I LOVE the new half hour version of Golan. They've added some great character development and great character flaws for both Golan and his disciple. The show was fun before, but they really took it to the next level.

 

[mr3urious]

On that note, I LOVE the new half hour version of Golan. They've added some great character development and great character flaws for both Golan and his disciple. The show was fun before, but they really took it to the next level.

I stopped getting interested into Golan after the 3rd episode of the retooled series once it started devolving into mean-spiritedness like so many other "adult" cartoons, cancelling out said improved characterization of both Golan and Dylan. And I caught a bit of Stone Quackers, and it really is as lazy and unstructured as you make it out to be. I'm not the biggest fan of Lucas Bros., but at least that has some kind of plot to go with the stoner humor.

 

[Drtooth]

Lucas Bros has improved in its second season. It shifted the focus to wackier adventures with 90's pop culture parodies, often referencing oddities. An episode devoted to "Will-dependance Day" is not only a hilarious tribute to 1990's Will Smith, but even mocked how Aunt Vivian started out as a meaner character with darker skin and was inexplicably replaced by a lighter skinned, youthful actress. Then there's one where they journey to the center of Jaheel White's brain to unlock memories of Urkel because the world needed Family Matters now more than ever (hilarious in hindsight since this aired just after announcement of the Netflix Full house series), and one where they date the Sister Sister twins, only to find out the sinister secret that the show was almost called "Sister, Sister, Sister." It's really become a more coherent and enjoyable show in recent episodes, rather than the more meandering series it was. It used to be a show I didn't mind watching in that first season, but they've figured it out and now I look forward to it. It stopped being the Regular Show knockoff it started out as, that's for sure. I'd say it's almost early Family Guy levels of pop culture wackiness.

Gonna take your word on that third Golan episode. I missed it, and can only assume that the fourth episode got better. There such an easy trap to fall into everyone being inexplicably nasty, and I didn't quite catch that in the episodes I caught. I do however love the angle that Golan was a complete loser in his home realm.

Yeah. That Stone Quackers just... I get the disturbing for the sake of laughs bit. That's an unfortunate staple of adult animation, present even in really good shows to some extent. And it can be done right if they're careful. But with Stone Quackers it's hard to tell if they're being awkward on purpose or the writing is that lazy. It speaks volumes that one of the show promos is just a random duck in an ambulance freaking out about needing his pills while John C. Reily duck is holding him down. Yeah. And it's not even over the top enough to be darkly funny. It's extremely hard to tell when the show's playing anything for laughs because even when you can tell something's a joke, it's not funny at all. High School USA may be a lame collection of overused adult animation tropes, but at least they attempt humor, not matter how flat it falls. Stone Quackers is like... best I can say is this... It feels like a web animation posted on Youtube as a Creepypasta about an overly disturbing Eastern Bloc country kid's cartoon that came out in 1979. Only worse. I have no words except it's fugly because of it's terrible character designs and muted neon colors. It's like the animated equivalent of a snuff film, not so much in context and concept, but certainly in the looks department.