Another Stupid movie to Overreact to...

[The Count]

Yes, the Cinderella backstory is next, being created by Kenneth Brannaugh. *Cue musical sting.

 

[Mynameisdean]

They've made "A Dolphin's Tale 2"

Let me repeat that. They've made "A Dolphin's Tale 2."

Oh,no. This can't be happening.

 

[Drtooth]

Yes, the Cinderella backstory is next, being created by Kenneth Brannaugh. *Cue musical sting.

Eh... that doesn't sound too bad. As long as Kenneth remembers what made the original fairy tale dark, and doesn't turn it into a Twilighty thing.

Yes, the Cinderella backstory is next, being created by Kenneth Brannaugh. *Cue musical sting.

Eh... that doesn't sound too bad. As long as Kenneth remembers what made the original fairy tale dark, and doesn't turn it into a Twilighty thing.

But notice what the biggest trend is now? Not sequels, but prequels. Specifically, unnecessary back stories for characters we really didn't give a hoot about in the first place. Why do we now need a movie about how and why the professor got to Oz and became wizard when the whole concept of Oz was all just a dream? Do we even care why Maleficent is the way she is (let alone do we really want or need to see Angelina Jolie in the role)? What's next? Are we going to see some kind of backstory as to why Cinderella's stepmother and stepsisters became so wicked in the first place? Or, better yet: how about a movie about Edgar Balthazaar's life before he became the butler to a wealthy elderly lady and her beloved cats.

Yeah, but with the exception of the half of Maleficent's audience that actually liked the film and the two new Planet of the Apes movies (since the sequels were garbage that undermined the first film), no one likes prequels. Why they're still making them is a mystery, but every so often they'll hit on one that's successful critically and commercially. But soooo not Dumb and Dumberer. The next film is purposely going to call Canon Discontinuity on it. Yep. The Dumb and Dumber prequel is so bad that not even the Farrley brothers want anything to do with it.

As for the stupid Wizard of Oz prequel Disney made... did anyone actually like that film? I hear nothing but bad things.

 

[Slackbot]

Why do we now need a movie about how and why the professor got to Oz and became wizard when the whole concept of Oz was all just a dream?

Er, no. L. Frank Baum wrote fourteen Oz books which were published between 1900 and 1914, and other authors including Ruth Plumly Thompson continued the series, making a total of 40 canon books. In all of these Oz is a real place on Earth, hidden by magic to keep it separate from the rest of the world. Only in the 1939 MGM movie and its 1985 Disney followup, Return to Oz, is it portrayed as Dorothy's fever dream. As any Oz fan will tell you, those movies are not canon, and are definitely not the be-all of Oz that some consider them to be.

 

[Drtooth]

Er, no. L. Frank Baum wrote fourteen Oz books which were published between 1900 and 1914, and other authors including Ruth Plumly Thompson continued the series, making a total of 40 canon books. In all of these Oz is a real place on Earth, hidden by magic to keep it separate from the rest of the world. Only in the 1939 MGM movie and its 1985 Disney followup, Return to Oz, is it portrayed as Dorothy's fever dream. As any Oz fan will tell you, those movies are not canon, and are definitely not the be-all of Oz that some consider them to be.

Which is the most shameful Adaption Displacement of all time. Worse than the Smurfs being only an 80's cartoon or...eh, same thing with the Ninja Turtles.

Made even more maddening by the fact the "it's all a dream" aspect was forced on the movie by the execs who thought people were too stupid to get the concept of a magical land that exists and can be traveled to. And guess what aspect of the movie is referenced all the time?

If it's ONE novel based movie reboot we desperately need, it's a more accurate to the stories version of OZ. Too bad that will never happen because it won't ever be as good as a 70 year old film that took way too many liberties anyway. Unless it's Wicked, which is like the only other Oz project people talk about.

 

[Slackbot]

I love the MGM film, but, yeah, I don't like the "it's all a dream" cop-out. And I was surprised when I read the book to find out that Baum's Dorothy is no damsel in distress. Though she's only about ten, she is calm and in charge much of the time. During the tornado ride she takes a nap because there's nothing else she can do, so might as well rest up. She holds off the witch who wants her shoes for some time. She's a heroine! After that it became hard to watch the ineffectual, sobbing Judy Garland portrayal.

The Oz story I'd like to see filmed is The Patchwork Girl of Oz. It's full of adventure and great Oz wackiness, and Scraps the Patchwork Girl is a wonderful crazy-lady character. It wouldn't be hard to adapt, if they could get their heads around the idea of an Oz story that doesn't center on Dorothy, the Woodman, the Scarecrow, and the Lion. I'd also like to see a film version of The Tin Woodman of Oz, but that book is so dark and weird (for an Oz book) that I can't imagine a faithful adaptation; it'd either be sweetened up or made way too dark and gritty. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, it answers the question of what happened to the pieces of the Woodman's original flesh body after it was hacked apart and replaced by tin one part at a time--and, remember, in Oz nothing dies, even if it's torn into little pieces. Brrrr.

 

[Drtooth]

Back on the subject of Dolphin Tail 2... I just saw the TV spots, and I'm like whaaaaat!?!?

It's not enough to over romanticize real life events for the big emotional manipulation punch, but they add a romantic plot tumor and wacky, wacky animal hi-jinx to detract from the thin inspirational (not thinspirational) message making it another one of those kid's movies.

So yeah. It can always get worse. I'm sure the "real" events stem from only the fact the rescued dolphin needs a companion, and it goes into low brow kiddy entertainment land.

I reiterate. Morgan Freeman thinks his TEC days are an embarrassment. he's okay with crappy movies like this, though.

 

[The Count]

@Slackbot.
The Patchwork Girl of Oz has actually been made into a film... A silent film from 1914, a full year after the book was written and published, produced by the Oz Film Factory Company, at least that's what I found at the Oz Wiki. Have to go back to read the info they have on the other story you mentioned.

@Drtooth.
Dolphin's Tale 2 spots have been prevalent on TV lately... And never having seen the first one, I don't get their tagline of "continuing the magical story of Winter", that alone makes it nonsensical.

As for Morgan Freeman's hypocriticalness...
Ashamed of The Electric Company? He rully shouldn't be.
Ashamed of Dolphin's Tale 2? No, he won't, because as I'm reminded of that parody of ParaNorman from the animated Mad series...

*In Morgan Freeman voice:
"Ever since I was little, people just loved to hear the sound of my voice when I talk.
Did these events really take place? Or did I just make the whole thing up? Who cares, so long as I get another paycheck.
Happy Halloween kiddies. Now excuse me as I read the heck out of these end credits."

 

[Slackbot]

I have a copy of the 1914 PWGoO film. It doesn't bear much resemblance to the book. I also have a CGI fan film that, while very faithful to the book, is really amateurish and the voice acting is terribly flat. I mean a full-on, modern film.

 

[Drtooth]

Dolphin's Tale 2 spots have been prevalent on TV lately... And never having seen the first one, I don't get their tagline of "continuing the magical story of Winter", that alone makes it nonsensical.

Yeah, like every single commercial break too. The only thing anyone has to know is that it's based on a true story (in other words, a cliche storm of a plot line was cobbled wholesale out of more mundane, less romanticized real life events) where an injured dolphin gets rescued. I'm assuming that if the main story of the second one has any basis in reality, it's that it needed a mate, and one was shipped in somehow. Which of course they dress up with sappy movie tropes, wacky birds, and the usual overemphasized dramatic sequences to make it work as a film. Frankly, I don't see why this isn't just a documentary, which no one would see anyway... but the truth in these cases are usually more interesting than watching long drawn out, exhausted plotlines.

And seriously... the first one had a Burger King tie-in. Way to poo all over the environmental message there. Even The Lorax didn't do fast food, and it promoted an SUV! (again, take my rant into the consideration that I collect kid's meal promos, especially since a lot of TV shows and movies only get a kid's meal as a form of physical merchandising)

On the news of a movie that's already been released, Nickelodeon is promoting the crap out of the fact it's going to run the (in their own words) "hit" Marmaduke movie. You know, the talking dog film that even little kids didn't want to see based on a comic strip nobody actually liked that only had one awful cartoon series outside of the comics? Yeah... On ALL THEIR CHANNELS as well. Even Teen Nick during the midnight Hey Arnold reruns.