Dealing with depression and anxiety

[AlittleMayhem]

*Hugs* I'm sorry to hear that you were having a tense day and your friend had to cancel. I sometimes get stressed and panicky whenever people cancel on me too, but I usually try to breathe and focus on something leisurely until it passes.

 

[charlietheowl]

Thanks. I still feel a bit shaky about him canceling, but I understand why he had to do it and it wasn't anything mean; he just had a family obligation crop up. I do feel a bit better now, as I ate dinner and did a little reading, and am going to try and have a quiet evening in the hopes that it will help me to stay calm. It's just annoying how when I'm tense anything can really throw me for a loop.

 

[Sgt Floyd]

Just two more weeks left of school and my mom is a freaking basket case. She's ready to start a full on war with campus and how poorly registration has been going for me (which I posted about in the ranting thread). But what's been getting to me is how she seems to think that its MY fault that the college hasn't been straightforward with me.

I mean, she's been treating me like dirt lately as it is, getting on me about my appearance. Yeah, i get that I have to look nicer and less shaggy when I start my internship in the fall, but honestly, does it really matter what I look like just going to class? I'm tired of hearing "don't you want to look attractive?" among other things she says to put me down. Uh...maybe i don't care about how I look? Maybe I don't want the pressure of being in a relationship right now? maybe my hair is just naturally super greasy and frizzy from the humidity that i can't do anything with it unless I straighten it which I am NOT doing. Although I do need my hair cut. Its starting to get to that beyond tamable length :/

My mom has been nagging me about finding SOMEONE. Boy, girl, doesn't matter to her as long as I am in a relationship. She actually encouraged me to ask my friends to see if they knew anyone who was single -_-

I sometimes think my mom is upset that I'm not the girl she wanted and holds it against me. I'm tired of having fights with her about how my hair looks and how she insists on doing it for me. I'm tired of having fights about the clothes I wear...

But back to college. Yesterday she was mad at me because I couldn't find a list that doesn't exist of alternate classes to take that could count for a class I need. She was mad at me because my adviser didn't respond to my email the instant I sent it. I was pretty much yelled at all day yesterday for things that were not my fault and that I have no control over.

And to top things off, my mom is notoriously bad at explaining things when she is mad and I get very easily confused. I don't have any kind of learning disability that I know of, but sometimes it does take me longer to process information than it should, especially when my mom is talking about three or four things at once and expects you to be able to follow her jumbled thought pattern. She yelled at me on the phone for a good 10 minutes because I "wasn't listening" when she was trying to explain some forms to me. I was just asking her questions so I knew exactly what she was talking about so I didn't print out the wrong forms. So, she never once clarified what she was talking about. Instead she just screamed at me that she doesn't need to explain herself again because I should have been listening. Of course, i DID end up printing the wrong things out...

 

[charlietheowl]

I'm sorry your mother is making a stressful situation even worse for you right now. Registering for classes is never fun, especially when ones you want are filled up, but it sounds like you're doing the best that you can to find substitute classes that can still count for it. And those are some insensitive comments from your mother about your appearance and relationships. Hopefully you're able to do what's comfortable for you and what you want to do regarding those things without too much interference from your mother. I know that's easier said than done, but in the end what you want on the inside is the most important. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

Okay.

*breathes*

Over the past few months, I’ve come to realize that I’ve developed feelings for a good friend of mine, who is two years younger than me. Despite our differing opinions, I love talking and debating with him, I enjoy his company; I think he’s adorable and so many other things I can’t think of right now. Only, aside for a few crushes, I’ve never really felt the way I have for this person before. And honestly, it scares me. I have no idea how to tell him how I feel or how to approach the topic. I can’t stop thinking about him or how my family would react if they ever found out and it’s making me miserable and stressed, not helped with collage work piling up.

And it’s not like my feelings aren’t returned. In fact, a while back, he asked me how I saw our relationship. Not knowing how I really felt, I said ‘just friends’ and he seemed content with that, even saying that he was glad he told me. However, I remember seeing disappointment. Now I find myself regretting that answer, because he will be going to a college far away in a few months and I don’t know if I can tell him now or that it may be pointless. We’re still friends on Facebook and I probably will see him again when he’ll be visiting, but I don’t think I can cope with a long distance relationship. I’ve already applied for my next year in college where I am.

Not only that, but exactly a week ago, my sister told me a huge secret about her that she hasn’t told the rest of our family (in case you’re wondering, please don’t ask or guess what it is because I made a promise). At the time, I was very happy she told me and I promised I would tell anyone. Admittedly, though, I’m still adjusting to this secret and part of me selfishly wants her to just tell our family already so I don’t have to hide it anymore.

I don’t know. I just really needed to tell someone and I felt this thread was the only way. I can’t stand to tell anyone face to face and my friends and family know about other sites I’m on besides this forum.

 

[charlietheowl]

I'm glad you were able to share your feelings and thoughts here, and that you feel comfortable enough sharing them here. I'm not very experienced in the area of romantic feelings, but I would perhaps bring your feelings up to your crush in some way, because it seems like you're going to have a hard time coping with the uncertainty of whether or not you should tell him anyway. Perhaps if you tell him your feelings, it will make the other issues about the relationship easier to deal with, like the possible distance.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best of luck. *hugs*

 

[cjd874]

Back in October, before I joined MC, I thought I was dealing with depression. I had just started college and I felt I wasn't getting anywhere, academically or socially. I felt so alone and wanted to die. So I spoke to my professors and family, and they made me feel better about myself.

But with the end of my first year of college looming over me, I'm afraid it's acting up again. There are concerts for me to perform in, a major jury performance in two weeks, and final exams. I have so much to do, and I've just been putting it all off for later, which only ends up increasing my anxiety. I just can't get myself to do what needs to be done. I'm falling behind with everything. I need some help. Fast.

 

[charlietheowl]

I'm sorry you're dealing with all this. It's understandable to feel anxious and stressed when everything gets busy at the end of the semester. If working with your family and professors helped you before, then I would recommend doing it again. Also, your college should have a mental health center on campus where you could make an appointment to speak to a therapist or counselor about your issues. I hope you can feel better soon!

 

[Sgt Floyd]

But with the end of my first year of college looming over me, I'm afraid it's acting up again. There are concerts for me to perform in, a major jury performance in two weeks, and final exams. I have so much to do, and I've just been putting it all off for later, which only ends up increasing my anxiety. I just can't get myself to do what needs to be done. I'm falling behind with everything. I need some help. Fast.

If it makes you feel better, my anxiety has been through the roof. My final two exams are tomorrow and both of them are my hardest exams. Both include heavy writing and memorizing of terms and I just don't know if I can do it. I've had so many other projects that had to get done for my classes that studying has become almost impossible. I have a lot of pressure considering my grades have been slowly dropping since I started college and if my gpa drops any lower, I lose all my financial aid. I'm so concerned I'm going to get three Cs this semester and at this point there doesn't seem like there is anything I can do.

 

[cjd874]

If it makes you feel better, my anxiety has been through the roof. My final two exams are tomorrow and both of them are my hardest exams. Both include heavy writing and memorizing of terms and I just don't know if I can do it. I've had so many other projects that had to get done for my classes that studying has become almost impossible. I have a lot of pressure considering my grades have been slowly dropping since I started college and if my gpa drops any lower, I lose all my financial aid. I'm so concerned I'm going to get three Cs this semester and at this point there doesn't seem like there is anything I can do.

I know exactly how you feel. But for me, I am studying music as my major. So that means learning tons of music for concerts (I have three this week) and for my final jury performance...in addition to my academic classes which involve lots of writing, reading and memorization. It's a cr**load of work, and I totally see where you're coming from. And don't worry, I have faith in you. We all do. I'm sure you will pass your exams and all will be well.
It's really comforting to know that I know I'm not alone and that other people are in a similar situation, so thanks Sgt. Floyd.