Million Muppets March in March

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

One day Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Scooter were all sitting around a table in the canteen, enjoying meals and reading the paper.

"Hey!", said Gonzo, observing an ad in the paper, "exploding goggles are 29 percent off!"

"What would we want with those?", asked Kermit.

"How DARE you ask such a question!", said Gonzo, eyes widened.

"Of course", said Kermit dryly, "silly me".

"Hey, there's a really funny joke in the paper", said Fozzie with excitement.

"Well tell it", said Scooter.

"Okay, this is funny", said Fozzie, "Why did the clown buy a used..."

Fozzie's joke was innocently interrupted by an excited Walter.

"Hey, Kermit! Guys! Did you know that there was something last November called Million Muppet March?"

"Uh, no, you're mistaking", said Scooter, "it was called the Million Puppet March."

"It encouraged a million people to go to Washington, D.C. and bring a puppet", said Kermit.

"I wanted to participate", said Fozzie, "but I couldn't find Chuckie or my clown puppet."

"I wouldn't have gone to a puppet event like that without Steve", said Kermit.

"Who?", said Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, and Walter.

"Steve", said Kermit, nervous as they gave him weird looks, "I have friends outside of the Muppets, you know."

"Anyway, I was going to ask why I missed it", said Walter, "But now that I know what it really was, and since it is March, I would like to know..."

"...if we would do a Million Muppet March in March", guessed Kermit.

"How did you know, Kermit?", asked Walter.

"I'm becoming more and more genre savy and could predict the punchline", said Kermit.

"Hmm", thought Fozzie, "maybe I should stop trying out new jokes on him, then."

"Well, can we?", asked Walter, "I'm pretty sure there are a million of us."

"Yes", said Kermit, "but I don't know, it might be hard to contact us all."

'80s Robot then popped up.

"I will take the liberty of contacting a million Muppets for the march", said '80s Robot.

Bunsen and Beaker then showed up.

"And I will provide the jump cut from now to when we're all ready", said Bunsen.

And soon the outside area was crowded with Muppets.

"Oh, wow!", said Walter, "I've never seen so many Muppets at once before! Not even at the end of The Muppet Movie!"

"Now, '80s Robot, are you sure there's one million of us?", asked Kermit.

"Positive", said '80s Robot.

"Maybe I should ask for a second opinion", said Kermit.

"But I didn't give you a first opinion", said Kermit.

Kermit briefly scrunched his face, then got an idea: "Oh Count!"

The Count showed up.

"Yes", said The Count.

"Will you count every Muppet here and make sure there are a million of us?", asked Kermit.

"Why I had already started", said The Count, "and that was one, one interrupted attempt at counting a million Muppets!"

"Well, it's time for your second attempt", said Kermit.

"Oh, right", said The Count, who started to count, "one Muppet, two Muppets, three..."

"This might take awhile", said Miss Piggy.

"Maybe we need another jump cut, okay", said Pepe.

"JUMP CUT! JUMP CUT!", said Animal, who was jumping up and down while holding a pair of scissors.

"Cool it, Animal!", said Floyd, "Sit!"

"SIT!", said Animal as he sat down.

The Count then approached The Two-Headed Monster.

"Hmm, should I count you as one or two?", asked The Count.

"One", mumbled the head on the left.

"No, no, no, two", said the head on the right.

The two heads then argued over it.

"I'll just ask Kermit", said The Count, "and then start my third attempt."

 

[Twisted Tails]

Holy maracas! This is a nice story. Keep going! You're doing really good.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

The Count had finally counted EVERYBODY, and had a crisis.

"Kermit! I have one, one wonderful problem!"

"Good grief", said Kermit, "what problem is that?"

"I have counted everyone, and there are only 999,999 Muppets here!"

"Looks like '80s Robot was wrong", said Rowlf.

"But how can that be?", said '80s Robot.

Fozzie added, in song, "...Anything but low-down, saggy, and blue!"

"I am blue", said Herry, "Blue and proud!"

"Me, too", said Cookie Monster.

"As am I", said Grover.

"Oh, wait", said The Count, "I forgot to count myself. That is one million wonderful Muppets and one mistake! Ah-ha-ha!"

"Wow, I can't believe it", said Walter, "ALL of us Muppets are here! Everybody from The Muppet Show and Jim Henson Hour and Muppets Tonight and Fraggle Rock and Bear in the Big Blue House and Sam and Friends and Sesame Street and Plaza Sesamo and Sesamstraat and Sesamstrasse and...."

"Calm down there, Walter", said Miss Piggy.

"Yeah, take a breath", said Digit.

"Well, I am just so excited", said Walter.

"Well, let's start our march", said Kermit, "where shall we march to?"

Everyone had different suggestions, all speaking at once.

"Washington, D.C.!", said Sam the Eagle.

"Anywhere but Toadstool", said Big Bird.

"I'd like to go back to Grouchland", said Oscar.

"Outer space! Outer space! Yip yip yip yip..." suggested the Martians.

"I thought we were already in outer space", said Traveling Matt.

"How about we go to the pigeons festival?", said Bert.

"Mee mee mee mee mee!", suggested Beaker.

"Huw shubout wry gotu Sweden!", said The Swedish Chef.

"The rock and roll museum!", said Dr. Teeth.

"Carnegie Hall", suggested Floyd.

"Oh, no", said Don Music, "we haven't practiced yet!"

"I'll march to anywhere that that waiter doesn't work at", said Mr. Johnson.

"How about the laundry room?", said Boober.

Everyone kept getting louder and louder with requests.

Soon, Kermit couldn't take it any longer...

"QUIET!", yelled Kermit.

Everyone stopped. Except for Janice.

"And so I said, 'Look, I'll model at the beach, but not the nude beach'..." Janice then noticed everyone listening, embarrassed, "Oh..."

"I say... We all march to the swamp where I grew up", said Kermit.

Almost everyone reacted with reluctance.

"Or we can march all around America", said Sam the Eagle, "we can set foot in every state there is!"

"It would be hard to march to Hawaii and Alaska", said Grover, "I should know. I used to be a world traveler."

"Well I've explored outer space and have never heard of Hawaii or Alaska", said Traveling Matt.

"Well, I say that marching to the swamp is a very good idea!", said Oscar.

"Uh, thank you", said Kermit.

"I agree", said Robin.

"Me, too!", said Grundgetta.

"Hmmmmmmm", said Bill, Gil, and Jill.

"Can we swim at the swamp?", asked Red Fraggle.

"Yes", said Kermit.

"Then what are we waiting for?", said Red, excited.

"Well, I'll do whatever Kermit wants", said Walter.

"And I can count all the swamp trees and leaves", said The Count.

"It's always great to try new things", said Bear.

"Then it's settled", said Kermit, "we're going to the swamp. Let's start marching!"

Everybody then marched to the swamp.

"I can't believe they've finally decided on a place to march to", said Statler.

"I was hoping they'd never agree and be stuck here the whole time", said Waldorf.

Oscar had overheard, and was upset...

"Oh, if only I didn't step in to agree with the frog. We'd all still be arguing!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Holy maracas! This is a nice story. Keep going! You're doing really good.

Yeah, ever since the Million Muppet March (which soon became the Million Puppet March) in November, I've been wanting to draw such a picture, with a million Muppets, probably every character I could think of (and if I couldn't think of enough, I could just keep drawing the same chicken, rat, and penguin designs over and over until completed). And I still haven't made such a drawing.

 

[muppetlover123]

nice story

 

[Twisted Tails]

: That's one, onw vonderful chapter, ah ah ah! I love it! (lightning and thunder in background)
Uh, Count, there are only two chapters so far.
Ah yes! Two, two chapters ah ah ah!
That's what I said. (sighs) I cannot wait for more story. The swamp? I never ever been to a swamp for real.

 

[animalrescuer]

I like where this is going so far, keep up the good work!

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

"So how long is this march supposed to take?", asked Miss Piggy.

"Oh, probably just a few hours", said Kermit.

"Moi's feet are already starting to ache", said Miss Piggy.

"I'm already getting tired", said Professor Hastings, "I hope I don't... Fall... Asleep...." And with that Professor Hastings fell asleep, but continued walking in his sleep.

"Oh, me already ate all me cookies", cried Cookie Monster, "and me still hungry!"

"Try not to think about eating cookies", said Prairie Dawn.

"Okay", said Cookie Monster, who then ate the bow off Prairie Dawn's head.

"What are you doing?", asked Prairie.

"Me thinking about eating bow off your head!"

"Uh, I'll just stay off her head then", said Beauregard.

"You know, Beaker", said Bunsen, "This would have been a great time to hand out those marching shoes I invented."

"Mee mee", agreed Beaker.

"Yes, we could have manufactured a million of them and we all could march without getting tired."

"I've got four legs, and they're already getting tired", said Snuffy.

"So are mine", said Gladys the Cow.

"Hey, Kermit", said Fozzie, "I'm getting hungry."

"Me, too", said Murray Monster.

"Can we stop for food?", asked Cookie Monster, "at least for COOKIES???"

"Okay, why not?", said Kermit, "there's plenty of restaurants around here."

"Like, I wonder where we should eat at", said Janice.

"Are there any coffee bars around here?", said Zoot.

"Hey, Bert", said Ernie, "why don't we eat at Chik-Fil-A?"

"Well, they don't have oatmeal", said Bert, "but why not?"

Several chickens then ran up to them, clucking in protests.

"What's eating the chickens?", said Ernie, who then let out his usual laugh.

"Me don't care which restaurant we go to", said Cookie Monster, "as long as restaurant have COOKIES! And a side salad."

Kermit got everyone's attention.

"Okay, everybody", said Kermit, "There's plenty of restaurants down this street, and I don't think any of them have enough room for all of us, so why don't we just go to whatever restaurants we want, we'll meet back here in an hour."

Everyone agreed.

"I'm going to Hooter's, okay!", said an excited Pepe.

"I didn't know they had a Hooper's Store out here", said Big Bird.

"No, no, no", said Pepe, "Not Hooper's, Hooter's, okay."

"Hey, I'd like to try this bar-b-q restaurant", said Sweetums, who munched a little bit of the outside of the restaurant, "Hey, this doesn't taste like bar-b-que!"

"I wonder which of these places have radishes", said Red.

"Radish?", said Splurge.

"Uh... Yeah", said a slightly startled Red.

"I hope I can get some good doozer sticks", said Gobo.

"Hey! There's a fish restaurant!", said Lew Zealand, "I can practice my act."

Mr. Johnson went into a restaurant and got his seat.

"Well, I sure am ready for lunch!"

Grover showed up as his waiter.

"Hello there, I am Grover. I am here to serve you."

"Wait a minute! How can YOU be the waiter here? You're in the Million Muppet March with me."

"Well, I do work here, sir, and it is a good thing we made it here in time for me to start my shift."

"Maybe I should have eaten at Hooter's. They don't have waiters."

"Oh, you should try the food there, sir. I work there as a cook."

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

Everybody was finished with their lunch.

"That was one, one wonderful meal!", said The Count.

"I'm sad that I couldn't find any pwaces that served powwidge", moaned Baby Bear.

"You should have gone to where I went", said Bear, "they served honey."

"Weally?", said Baby Bear.

"That was almost as good as radishes", said Mokey, "what do they call it again?"

"Yogurt", said Janice.

"I'm still hungry", said Lardpork.

"The people there were great", said Big Mean Carl, "free, too!"

"I wish they had more cheescake at the cheescake factory", said Rizzo.

"I wish we had more money", said another rat.

"I wish we could have stayed longer", said Johnny Fiama, "I couldn't get enough".

"You didn't get any, Johnny", said Sal, "All you did was sing the whole time."

"Oh yeah", said Johnny.

"Well, everybody, we can continue our march now", said Kermit.

"Let's go!", said Gonzo.

"Absotively posilutely!", said Dr. Teeth.

They all continued walking, but then most of them started to get tired again.

"My legs are getting tired", said Telly.

"I think I ate too much", said Thog.

"I forgot what I'm doing", said Forgetful Jones.

"Hey, Kermin", said Pepe, "can't we rest again, okay?"

"If we keep resting we'll never get there", said Kermit, "And March will be over soon."

"There's a subway down there", said Floyd.

"Like, we can all travel there by subway", said Janice.

"That sounds like a groovy idea!", said Dr. Teeth.

"But", said Kermit, "the whole point of this march was to..."

But nearly everyone ignored Kermit and walked past him, getting on the subway.

"Hey!", scoffed Sam the Eagle, "You must pay to get on the subway!"

"But the sign says that today's subway rides are all for free", said Bear.

"Oh", said Sam, "in that case...."

Soon almost everyone was on.

"I hope Rubber Duckies are allowed", said Ernie.

"Yeah, and paperclips and pigeons", said Bert.

"Now Rocko", said Zoe, "I know this is your first time on the subway, but it's a lot of fun."

"Rocko is just a rock, Zoe!", shouted Elmo.

"All aboard!", shouted Grover, employed at the subway.

"Wait a minute", said Mr. Johnson, "You work here, too?"

"I have got to make a living", said Grover.

"I'm getting off then", said Mr. Johnson.

But then the doors automatically shut before Mr. Johnson could get out and the subway started moving.

"Well, there goes everyone", said Kermit, as he watched the subway leave.

"Not everyone", said Robin.

"I'm still here", said Walter, "I go wherever Kermit goes!"

"Me, too", said Miss Piggy.

Sweetums was then chasing the subway.

"Hey! Wait for me!", shouted Sweetums.

"I'm surprised Fozzie didn't stay with us", said Kermit.

On the subway...

"I didn't want to go on the subway", said Fozzie.

"Then why did you get on?", asked Bobo.

"You all were in such a hurry to get on", said Fozzie, "I was basically pushed on by accident."

 

[Twisted Tails]

: That's five, five chapters in all. Yers, I love it! Ah ah ah!
But the story is not done yest, Count. I'm sure this story will be done soon.
: Oh good! Time flys when you're having flys for lunch.
Well, okay, but I would like to have more chapters or perhaps... more story.