(There are three patient roommates and one out-of-patience diva having a cuppa. Food has been ordered--comfort food--and there are great hopes that it will arrive soon. Very soon.)
Piggy: I do not understand what the hold up is! (Stamps foot.) Moi specifically has it in all of my contracts that I cannot be required to spend more than 72 hours away from my wardrobe without getting a credit of $5000 to replace it!
Ru: Honey, I packed your four trunks. Don't you think that will get you through until we can move back in?
Piggy: You did not pack the right camisole!
Ru: I packed the black one, the white one, the ivory one, the light blue one, the cobalt blue one, the Carolina blue one--which goes wonderful with your eyes, by the way--and--
Piggy: Oooh! It does, doesn't it?! I could wear that one instead. (She runs off to the bathroom to change.)
Kermit: (aside to Ru, after making sure that Piggy is out of earshot) I'm almost afraid to ask, but...instead of what?
Ru: The blue one with itty-bitty white flowers on it.
Kermit: The one with lace around the hem? Wide lace?
Fozzie: (head in hands, tiredly) Wow, Kermit. You sure know a lot about Miss Piggy's underwear.
Kermit: (blushing furiously) It's not underwear! (Several people turn and look, and Kermit hunches down in his seat.) It's not underwear, Fozzie. You wear it under your clothes but you're supposed to see it.
Fozzie: I don't. I don't wear anything under my clothes--or on top of my clothes. I'm furry.
Ru: (patting his furry hand) I know, Sweetie. That's what makes you so snuggly.
Fozzie: (looking shy) Awwww....Ru.
Kermit: If she's still annoyed when she comes back, I'll tell her where we'll go shopping with the $5000. That ought to be good for at least 45 minutes.
Ru: (sighing) Good. I don't really know how long this is going to take. The contractors should be giving us a time estimate soon.
Fozzie: What all are they doing?
Ru: Well, you know the, um, (glances toward bathroom) changes that we talked about--just us?
Fozzie: And Kermit. He was there, too.
Ru: Right--I meant, just us, including Kermit.
Fozzie: Oh. Cause I wasn't sure, because sometimes when you say, "just us" it means soemthing different.
Ru: Yes. But this time, I mean, just you and me and Kermit.
Fozzie: Right. You said that already.
Kermit: Fozzie--could you let Ru finish what she was about to say? She was going to tell us about the new--
Piggy: Ta da!
(Everybody startles, especially Ru.)
Kermit: (recovering first) Oh, hi--saaaaayyy! Look at you, Piggy! That camisole looks very lovely peeking out from under your white crochet sweater.
Fozzie: How do you know it isn't knitted?
Kermit: It's open weave. That usually means it's crocheted.
Fozzie: I thought open weave meant that it was woven--not knitted or crocheted.
(Piggy is watching their conversation like a tennis match.)
Ru: This sweater was crocheted--I happen to know. It's, um, cotton.
Fozzie: What about her camisole? Is it crocheted?
Ru: No--it's a knit.
Fozzie: I thought you said the sweater was crocheted.
Ru: (sighing and digging in purse) Kermit--can I borrow a swig of your water? I need to take a headache pill....
Piggy: Kermie--what do you think about my denim skirt?
Kermit: (looking it over) Um, well, truthfully, I think it's a little short.
Piggy: (who had been preparing to preen) What?!
Kermit: Yeah--I, um, think it's a little short. I think a longer skirt would be more flattering. Maybe one with a yoke and a slit up the back, but I think the ruffle on this one makes it too short.
Piggy: (doubtfully) Well....
Ru: I think Kermit might be right. An a-line with a yoke would be a better fit, too. You don't need ruffles. Your curves make a statement without them.
Piggy: And do you know what my curves are saying now, Ru dear?
Ru: No! What are they saying now Piggy?
Piggy: They are saying, "This is taking too long! I want to move in! Tell the contractors to hit the road and let me get my stuff."
Ru: Er, we're expecting a call any time now....
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Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
. Hey Robin I have to show you this. Read it out loud.
. Now off to bed you go so you don't wake up all Mr. Grumpy Frog in the morning.hugging him. I love you round the world and back again.!
*poking a long pointed nose out of his room* Uhm. Everything all right?