Walter's First Muppet Christmas

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

Walter was in a cab, with a bunch of presents, headed to Kermit’s mansion for Christmas.

“I am so excited!”, said Walter, “This is my first Christmas with the Muppets! I hope everybody is there, even though I couldn’t afford presents for ALL of the Muppets…”

“As long as you can pay the cab fare”, said the cab driver.

“Oh, there’s the mansion!”, said Walter, pointing to the mansion, “Just down the road.”

Walter got out of the cab, paid the cab driver, and took his presents, which weren’t many compared to the seemingly infinite number of Muppets that there are, but was enough to block Walter’s view when carrying them all at once. Walter then slipped and fell, the presents all flying into the air and falling right on Walter.

“I must be careful of the icy path”, said Walter, getting up and pressing a button at the gate.

“KERMIT! KERMIT! IT’S ME, WALTER, LET ME IN!”

The gates opened, Walter gathered his presents and walked to the mansion. ‘80s Robot opened the door as he entered.

“Merry Christmas, Muppets!”, said Walter, “Sorry I couldn’t afford presents for all of you…”

“That’s alright”, said Kermit.

“As long as you got MOI a present”, said Miss Piggy.

“Oh, sure”, said Walter, “I know better than to leave you out.”

“’80s Robot, take the presents”, said Kermit.

“Okay”, said ‘80s Robot.

Walter piled the presents onto ’80s Robot, who actually struggled to carry them all.

Walter looked at all of the Muppets who were there.

“Wow, are all of the Muppets here?”, asked Walter.

“I think so”, said Kermit.

“Of course, there’s so many of us, it’s hard to really know, okay”, said Pepe.

“I do know that the talking houses couldn’t make it”, said Scooter.

“Must have been invited to Ricky Martin’s Christmas party, okay”, said Pepe.

“I’ll take your coat”, said ‘80s Robot, who swiftly picked up the coat, as Walter was wearing it, and threw him into a closet full of Muppets, among whom included Hilda, the cast of Pigs in Space: Deep Dish Nine, Fleet Scribbler, Brewster, Wally, Lindbergh, David Hogsohog, Vicki, the Muppets Tonight band, and Gladys. ‘80s Robot shut the door.

“Do you have to do that?”, said Kermit, scrunching his mouth.

“You don’t see me having that kind of problem”, said Digit, who then walked backwards as sparks started shooting out.

Kermit went to open the closet door, and all the Muppets in the closet fell out onto Kermit.

All the Muppets screamed as they fell.

“I’m sorry about that”, said Kermit, “’80s Robot is in need of a tune-up”.

“Oh, it’s okay”, said Walter, “It was great to meet some of the rejected Muppets.”

“And it’s not often I get to see a fellow Muppet fan”, said Vicki.

“Say, Walter”, said Rizzo, “Why are you wearing a winter coat here in LA?”

“What’s wrong with that?”, asked Gonzo, who was wearing three sweaters, a hoodie, two jackets, a winter coat, two pairs of earmuffs, a wool hat, and nine scarfs.

“Hey”, said Fozzie, “Why don’t we start some Christmas activities?”

“Good idea, Fozzie”, said Kermit.

“I wonder what we should do first”, said Bunsen.

“We can watch holiday specials”, said Bobo, looking at the TV listing, “Let’s see what’s on… There’s A Moopet Family Christmas, The Moopet Christmas Carol, It’s a Very Moopet Christmas Moovie, Joohn Denvoor and the Moopets…”

“Those Moopets are actually making Christmas specials???”, said Uncle Deadly in disbelief.

“Well”, said Bobo, “Somebody has to.”

“How about we decorate the tree?”, said Thog, who put an ornament on the very top of the tree. Everyone applauded.

“And they can’t even get this much applause when they are on the STAGE”, said Statler.

Statler and Waldorf laughed.

“How about we LIGHT the tree?”, said Crazy Harry, who quickly set the tree on fire.

The Muppets all panicked as they went to get water to put out the tree with.

“Fire! Fire! There’s a fire, oaky!”, said Pepe.

“A fire is NOT okay!”, said Sam.

“Here’s some water”, said Seymour, who out of stupidity poured water onto Pepe.

“No wonder I fired you, okay”, said Pepe.

“I don’t think it’s so okay”, said Seymour.

“Beaker and I will put out the fire”, said Bunsen, “Using Muppet Labs’ new state-of-the-art water squirter. Turn it on, Beaker!”

Beaker turned the squirting machine on, which put out the fire.

“That’s enough, Beaker”, said Kermit.

“Mee mee meep”, said Beaker.

“The lever is stuck?”, said Bunsen, “Try pulling harder.”

Beaker pulled harder, eventually pulling it all the way back, but causing the water to burst out into the other direction.

“Sal”, said Johnny Fiamma, soaked, “you were supposed to guard me from heavy amounts of water.”

“Hey, Johnny, I got wet too”, said Sal.

“It’s a good thing I’m a frog”, said Kermit, “And the damage caused by all this water isn’t as bad as what I’m used to.”

“But the tree is ruined”, said Fozzie, pointing to the tree, which now barely had any green on it. There were hardly even any branches left.

“It looks worse than Charlie Brown’s tree”, said Rizzo.

“But at least it’s bigger”, said Sweetums.

“I think I know what I’m having for dinner”, said Behemoth, pointing a finger up in the air, “fried biscuits!”

“Hey, I’ve got a new act to try out”, said Carl, “I’m Carl, the big, mean tree eater. And now I’m gonna eat this tree!”

And then Carl ate the tree.

“Hmm, not nourishing enough”, sighed Carl.

“Hey, why don’t we sing some classic Christmas tunes?”, said Rowlf, who started playing the piano.

Beaker, The Swedish Chef, and Animal all showed up, singing “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” as best they can.

After the performance…

“I liked what I heard”, said Statler.

“I couldn’t understand a word of that”, said Waldorf.

“Neither could I”, said Statler, “that’s what I liked about it!”

The two laughed.

“Alright everybody!”, shouted Marvin Suggs, “I, Marvin Suggs, with accompaniment from the Muppaphones, will perform Silent Night!”

And Marvin hit the Muppaphones, saying “OW!” to the tune of the song.

“Wow”, said Walter, “This may not be the Christmas I was expecting, but the Muppets have put on a great show so far.”

“I disagree”, said Zoot, “I was going to perform the same song.”

“Silently, I suppose”, said Walter.

“Huh?”, said Zoot.

“Well”, said Miss Piggy, “Let’s have a Christmas photo shoot.”

“Did somebody say a ‘photo shoot’?”, asked Crazy Harry, who took out a gun and shot the photos on the walls.

“Now can I use my camera?”, asked Bean Bunny.

But then all of the power in the mansion blew out.

“Well, I guess that’s the party”, said Kermit.

“This reminds me of the time Buddy Rich was on your show”, said Walter.

“I think I can still throw my boomerang fish in the dark!”, said Lew Zealand, who threw fish at Marvin Suggs.

“OW!”, said Marvin.

The Muppaphones giggled at Marvin’s misfortune.

“Hey, I’ve got a great idea”, said Gonzo, “I get to star in a big skiing extravaganza in a few days, we can all go there for Christmas!”

“Hey, and it might be more Christmassey”, said Walter, “will there be snow?”

“There’s always snow”, said Gonzo.

“Well, who all is up to go to a ski resort?”

Everybody talked at once in agreement.

“Alright, everyone”, said Sweetums, “Let’s see a show of hands.”

Of course it was too dark to really see who all raised their hands.

But soon, they were all out of the mansion getting ready to go.

“Alright, only a few of us can fit in the car, so everyone else will have to go by bus”, said Kermit.

“I will drive”, said ‘80s Robot.

“I’ll drive the bands bus”, said Dr. Teeth.

“Good, and I’ve called up a dozen buses to pick up the rest”, said Kermit.

“Right on!”, said Dr. Teeth.

“Alright, let’s get ready to go”, said Walter, already in Kermit’s car.

Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Camilla, Lew Zealand, Bobo, Uncle Deadly, Scooter, Foo-Foo, and Robin all got in the car.

“Let’s get going”, said Kermit.

“Ready when you are”, said ‘80s Robot.

“We did remember to bring all the presents, didn’t we?”, asked Piggy.

“I think I forgot my boomerang fish”, said Lew.

Everyone was entering their busses.

“Floyd! Janice! Zoot! Lips! Animal! Get on the bus now!”, called Dr. Teeth.

“Wow, what’s gotten into you?”, asked Floyd.

“Yeah”, said Janice, “Like, it’s not like you to order us like that”, said Janice.

“ORDER! ORDER!”, shouted Animal as he held a flyer for a pizza place.

“Oh, I’m sorry”, said Dr. Teeth, “I guess I’ve got my first case of holiday stress in years.”

“What’s eating you?”, asked Floyd.

“I think I will”, said Behemoth, who then chased Dr. Teeth.

“I think I’ll join you all”, chuckled Clifford.

“Well, the more hipsters the better”, said Clifford.

“Come on, guys”, said Clifford to the rest of the Solid Foam band.

“Beaker and I will come on, too”, said Bunsen, “There’s nothing more hip then those of us who invent things.”

“Mee mee”, said Beaker in agreement.

“I’ll come on, too”, said Rowlf, “I’m tired of traveling in greyhound buses.”

Johnny Fiama and Sal traveled in another bus.

“Well, I hope I get to sing when I get there”, said Johnny.

“Do you want me to guard you from the snow?”, asked Sal.

“Now, Seymour”, said Pepe, “If we are going to be a team on this trip I get to sit by the window, okay?”

“Okay”, said Seymour.

“I can’t believe this”, said Rizzo, “The bus driver suggested us rats sit in the glove compartment.”

“Alright, ‘80s Robot”, said Kermit, “Your navigating system will take us on the right path, and the buses will follow us.”

Scooter stuck his head out the window.

“Fifteen seconds ‘till we leave!”

‘80s Robot ran his loud modem. Everyone cringed at the sound.

“Couldn’t you get him a high-speed modem?”, asked Miss Piggy.

“I forgot to get him checked on this month”, said Kermit.

Foo-Foo barked at the sound.

The car then left, and the buses followed.

“Oh, is it too late for me to go to the bathroom?”, asked Bobo.

Kermit scrunched his mouth.

“I sure hope I don’t get car sick”, said Uncle Deadly.

After the last bus left, they were being chased.

“Oh no, not again!”, groaned Sweetums as he chased everyone, “Wait for me!”

“And me”, followed Thog.

“And me!”, said Doglion, following the two monsters.

“And don’t forget about me!”, said Timmy, “You already did in the last movie!”

“They forgot about me in the last movie as well!”, said Mean Mama.

The Mutations followed them.

 

[Muppet fan 123]

I Like!!

 

[Misskermie]

heh, Walter knows better than to leave Piggy out of presents. I think we all do! lol

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

The gang was headed to the ski resort.

“We will reach our destination in 138 miles”, said ‘80s Robot.

“Gee”, said Lew, “I hope we have enough gas.”

The car went past traffic lights, which turned red before the first bus behind them could even pass.

“I hope this light doesn’t last long”, said Dr. Teeth, “I don’t want to lose them.”

“Fer sure”, said Janice, “Only the robot knows the way.”

“Hey, is it okay if I practice my skiing act in the car?”, asked Gonzo.

But then a big spark shot out of ‘80s Robot, causing him to drive faster than he was supposed to.

“Oh no”, cried ‘80s Robot, “Malfunctioning! Malfunctioning!”

He then turned down the wrong direction.

“Hey, didn’t you see the road sign?”, said Miss Piggy, angrily, “it said our destination was in the other lane!”

“Can’t concentrate. Can’t concentrate.”, moaned ‘80s Robot.

The car drove into a big building, where it drove up several flights of stairs. Then it flew out the window.

“Maybe you can help me with my act”, said Gonzo.

“I’m getting car sick”, moaned Uncle Deadly.

“This is the kind of Muppety excitement I expected!”, said Walter.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot you were in this, Walter”, said Robin.

The car flew into the air, flying past an airplane, but then the car fell and crash landed into a tree. The trunk popped open, and Beauregard came out.

“Boy, that’s the last time I pack from inside the trunk”, said Beauregard.

“Alright, we’ve got to get down somehow”, said Kermit.

“Did anyone pack parachutes?”, asked Walter.

“I’ve only used a parachute once”, said Gonzo.

The tree branch then broke and the car fell onto the ground.

“What a fantastic end-of-chapter!”, said Gonzo.

 

[Misskermie]

lol, great muppet caper reference at the end! "What a fantastic begining!" "What a fantastic end of chapter!" lol

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

The Muppets were all pushing the car down the road. ‘80s Robot had completely broken down.

“This is hard work”, said Fozzie, struggling.

“I wish we could contact the others”, said Kermit, “They are probably wondering where we are.”

“Don’t any of you have cell phones?”, asked Walter.

“What’s a cell phone?”, asked Beauregard.

“I have one”, said Miss Piggy, who got hers out of her purse, but then she slipped on some ice and involuntarily threw her phone backwards, where it fell onto the road and got run over by a truck.

“I wonder how the others are doing”, said Scooter.

At the time, in The Electric Mayhem bus, the band was performing some Christmas tunes.

“Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, but I think I’ll miss this one this year”, sung the band as they were going down the road.

“Oh, can we stop the bus for a second?”, asked Rowlf, “I have to use a tree.”

“Can’t it wait until after the number”, said Floyd.

The gang had finally brought the car to a repair shop.

“So we need our car and our robot fixed today”, said Kermit.

“Okay”, said the mechanic, “but it’ll cost you.”

“I know”, said Kermit, concerned about the price,“How much?”

“More than the budget of this fan fic”, said the mechanic.

“But the fan fic had no budget”, said Lew Zealand.

“It’s still very pricy”, said the mechanic.

The mechanic’s assistant then showed up.

“Oh my goodness it’s the Muppets!”, said the assistant in excitement.

“Yeah, that’s us”, said Kermit.

“I reacted the same way”, said Walter.

“It’s such an honor to have you all here”, said the assistant.

“Who are the Muppets?”, asked the mechanic.

“You never heard of the Muppets?”, asked the assistant.

“No”, said the mechanic.

“But these are celebrities”, said the assistant.

“Oh, yeah?”, said the mechanic, “What restaurant?”

“They just did a new movie”, said the assistant, handing the mechanic money, “Here’s 20 dollars. Go to the movie theater and see The Muppets”.

“I can see the Muppets right here”, said the mechanic.

“No, no”, said the assistant, “I mean see their movie.”

“What’s it called?”, asked the mechanic.

“It’s called The Muppets”, said the assistant.

“I know they’re called the Muppets but what’s their movie titled?”

“The Muppets! The Muppets!”

“Yes, and what’s the name of their new movie?”

“Good grief”, said Kermit, scrunching his face.

“They are called the Muppets”, said the assistant, “and the movie is titled The Muppets.”

“Okay, then I’ll go see it”, said the mechanic, “And if I like what I see, I’ll fix their vehicle and their robot free-of-charge.”

The mechanic left, but then turned back.

“How do you spell ‘Muppet’?”, he asked.

“I figure since we have plenty of waiting time before they can begin maybe I should start practicing on my skiing”, said Gonzo.

“Bawk bawk bawk bawk”, asked Camilla.

“Why, I’ll practice here”, said Gonzo, getting some skis out of the car.

“What do you think you’re doing?”, asked Miss Piggy.

“Practicing”, said Gonzo, who started skiing on some motor oil on the ground.

“Oh, boy”, said the mechanic’s assistant, excitedly, “I get to see Gonzo perform in person!”

Gonzo skied onto the oil, which helped his speed, but he skied into a nearby car.

“What a performance!”, said Beauregard.

“Thank you, Beauregard”, said Gonzo.

“That was amazing”, said the assistant.

“Why, thank you”, said Gonzo, “I hope my audience is impressed when I do my act.”

“I wasn’t talking about that”, said the assistant, “I meant it was impressive you and Beauregard could have a conversation.”

“Hmm, I guess that makes since”, said Beauregard.

“So, you saw our new movie?”, said Kermit.

“Oh, yeah”, said the assistant, “I’ve seen the movie 30 times.”

“What did you think of the movie?”, asked Bobo.

“I liked all of it”, said the assistant, “everything but the fart shoes.”

But then the assistant farted.

“Fart shoes aren’t funny, but the real thing sure is.”

Fozzie lowered his head in shame.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

“You know, Kermie”, said Piggy, “Since it’ll take awhile before things get fixed, let’s do some shopping.”

So they went to a nearby store.

“Oh, look, Kermie!”, said Piggy, “They have green dresses, and pink dresses, and purple dresses….”

Kermit looked nervous, knowing he couldn’t afford to get Miss Piggy all of the dresses, especially if he had to pay for repairs.

Fozzie looked at novelty items.

“Look at this”, said Fozzie, “A set of nose glasses. And a banana peel. And a rubber chicken.”

“Don’t you already have those things?”, asked Robin.

“Yeah”, said Fozzie, “But I can still use more.”

“They’ve got super deluxe boomerang fish”, said Lew, excited, “And they’ve got glow-in-the-dark boomerang fish, and extra-slippery boomerang fish…”

A kid went up to Fozzie.

“Hey, aren’t you Fozzie Bear?”, asked the kid.

“Why, yes I am”, said Fozzie, “Wocka wocka!”

“Will you autograph my fart shoes for me?”, asked the kid.

“Why do you need me to autograph them for you?”, asked Fozzie, “can’t you autograph them yourself? Wocka wocka!”

Walter looked at the Muppet DVDs.

“Still no season four”, sighed Walter.

Fozzie and Bobo looked at a “Build-a-Bear Workshop” display.

“Hey, we can build our own bears”, said Fozzie.

“But we already are bears”, said Bobo.

Bear, from “Bear in the Big Blue House”, then showed up, at the desk.

“May I help you?”, asked Bear.

“Hey”, said Fozzie, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”

“You sure have”, said Bear, “I used to have my own show, but it was canceled.”

“Oh, too bad”, said Bobo.

Kermit and Robin looked at a big Christmas tree.

“Isn’t that a beautiful Christmas tree, Uncle Kermit?”, asked Robin.

“It sure is”, said Kermit, “It’s nice and green.”

Then the tree turned around, revealing a face.

“So, you like TREES???”, said the tree, spooking Kermit and Robin a bit.

“A… A talking tree!”, said a spooked Robin.

“Not too different from a talking house or talking Mt. Rushmore”, said the tree.

Then lights flashed on and off and various toys and decorations started coming to live, spooking the Muppets.

“Wanna buy us?”, asked a group of Nutcrackers.

“You should buy me”, said a wreath.

“I’m handy all year ‘round”, said a mistletoe in a very seductive voice.

“I like mistletoe”, said Miss Piggy, “But you are creepy.”

A group of gingerbread men popped out of a box.

“We’re the perfect holiday snack”, said the gingerbread men.

“Where’s Cookie Monster when you need him?”, wondered Kermit.

“So”, said the tree, “What brings you all here?”

“We’re, uh…. We’re shopping”, said a nervous Kermit.

“What’s everyone afraid of?”, asked the tree.

An alligator, with a very swollen lip, then popped up.

“Relax”, said the alligator, “This whole thing is just a big-lipped alligator moment!”

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!!”, said an obnoxious voice from behind.

It was Douchey McNitpick, from The Nostalgia Critic.

“That “big-lipped alligator moment” term belongs to the Nostalgia Critic!”, said Douchey.

“Actually, The Nostalgia Chick created the term”, said the tree.

“I don’t care!”, said Douchey McNitpick, “You all are worse than the Nostalgia Critic!”

“I’m hungry”, said the alligator, who started chasing after Douchey.

“I think we should stop shopping and go back to the repair shop”, said Fozzie.

“I agree”, said Kermit.

“But this trip was just starting to get exciting”, said Gonzo.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

They went back to the repair shop, and the main mechanic just happened to come back at that moment.

“So, what did you think of our movie?”, asked Kermit.

The mechanic’s face turned red as he made an angry face… But then it all suddenly went away and he said, in a cheery mood, “I loved it!”

The Muppets all cheered.

“So you’ll repair our car and robot for free?”, asked Kermit.

“Of course”, said the mechanic, “I want to watch more Muppet stuff.”

“I’ll let you borrow my Muppet video and DVD collection”, said the mechanic’s assistant.

“Great”, said the mechanic, “My favorite part was the fart shoes scene”.

“But that was the only thing about the movie I hated”, said the assistant.

“What do you know, poo boy?”, asked the mechanic, “you’ve got no taste in quality!”

“Taste this!”, said the assistant, as he jammed a wrench into the mechanic’s mouth.

“STOP IT!”, said Kermit, “Can’t you two just stop fighting and repair our things?”

“And for free, remember?”, asked Miss Piggy.

“Besides”, said Fozzie, “It’s almost Christmas.”

The two stopped fighting.

“Okay, sure”, said the assistant, who then pulled the wrench out of the mechanic’s mouth.

“Don’t pull that out”, said the mechanic, “It tasted like cookies.”

And in no time the car was fixed as was ‘80s Robot and they all drove away.

“Well, let’s get to our location!”, said Gonzo.

“Okay, buckle up”, said ‘80s Robot.

“We all are buckled up”, said Robin.

Beauregard, who was all tied up in his seat belt, tried to say something, but couldn’t be understood because part of the seatbelt tied up his mouth.

“That’s what I was going to say!”, laughed Uncle Deadly.

“I just realized something”, said Walter.

“What’s that?”, said everyone at once.

“This is supposed to be about my first Christmas with the Muppets”, said Walter, “And yet I haven’t had any lines for about two whole scenes.

Everyone looked awkwardly.

It was getting dark. The Muppets had a short time frame to get to their location, and didn’t have much money for a hotel, so they slept in the car while ‘80s Robot drove.

Walter had a dream; It was raining presents, all for him.

“Oh, boy!”, said an excited Walter.

Walter opened a box of Palisades Muppet figures.

“Figures”, said Walter, “It’s all stuff I already have… Unless….” Walter looked through the box, then let out a sigh, “No exclusive Dr. Teeth.”

Walter opened another box, with the Master Replicas of Kermit, Animal, and Gonzo.

“No Fozzie prototype?”, sighed Walter.

He then opened box after box after box of Muppet merchandise… That he already had.

“I don’t own every Muppet product”, said Walter, “I want something I don’t have!”

Then Walter sneezed and turned into a chicken.

“Oh, I don’t feel too good”, said Walter, who looked into a mirror, and saw that he’d caught Cluckitis.

Walter woke up and screamed, only to see that he had been dreaming.

“Oh, it was just a dream”, said a relieved Walter.

“It was for now”, threatened Miss Piggy.

Foo-Foo barked in agreement.

Everyone went back to sleep.

Then Camilla had a dream: She sneezed and turned into Walter… And then sneezed herself into Gonzo… And then sneezed into Kermit… Then sneezed into Miss Piggy.

Camilla woke up, gasped, realized she was dreaming, and went back to sleep.

Then it was time for Uncle Deadly’s dream…

“And now it’s time to present the award for scariest actor”, said Alfred Hitchcock.

“Ohhhh”, said an excited Uncle Deadly, “I know I’m gonna win this one!”

“And the winner is….”, said Alfred, looking at the envelope… “Justin Bieber!”

“Oh, thank you, th… HUH???”, said a puzzled Uncle Deadly.

“Well, the winner is obvious”, said Waldorf.

“Yeah”, said Statler, “His singing and the way he acts in his videos gives me NIGHTMARES!”

The two laughed.

And then Uncle Deadly woke up.

“Even phantoms can have nightmares”, groaned Uncle Deadly.

Then it was time for Fozzie’s dream.

“Oh, wocka wocka wocka!”, shouted Fozzie as he entered a stage, only to see that everyone in the audience resembled Statler and Waldorf.

“Good grief!”, said an audience member, “The comedians a bear!”

“No, he’s-a-not”, said another member, “He’s-a-wearing a neck-a-tie!”

They laughed.

“I hope he’s not there to entertain us”, said another audience member.

“I agree”, said another, “He’s bear-ly on the stage!”

Everyone laughed.

“Well, you all are laughing at yourselves…”, said a nervous Fozzie, “But, uh… Anyway, a funny thing happened….”

“You still on stage?”, said another audience member, “Let’s get him off!”

And then everyone threw stuff at Fozzie… Whose feet were suddenly glued to the floor of the stage.

But then Fozzie woke up, screaming.

“Now we’ll never get back to sleep”, moaned Uncle Deadly.

“And the readers will never get to see my dream”, sad Gonzo.

“Or my dream”, said Bobo.

“Or mine”, said Beauregard.

Then the car busted, again.

“I can’t believe this”, moaned Miss Piggy.

“What do you expect?”, said Scooter, “The repair was free, after all.”

“I bet those mechanics weren’t really the fans they said they were”, said Walter.

“You know, I thought the same thing”, said Fozzie, “I’d never put them on my ceiling. Ahh, get it? Fans, ceiling, wocka wocka!”

But then Waldo C. Graphic suddenly showed up from out of nowhere.

“Hey, there you guys are!”, said Waldo.

“Hey, Waldo”, said Kermit, “Where’d you come from?”

“Didn’t you read the above sentence?”, said Waldo, “I came from out of nowhere.”

“I’m tired of this puns”, said a mildly annoyed Uncle Deadly.

“We’ve been at the resort for hours and have been wondering where you all are”, said Waldo, “I’ll get you there in no time!”

The other Muppets cheered.

Waldo turned into a giant balloon and sucked the car full of Muppets right inside his mouth.

“I don’t think I like being in here”, said Walter.

“Well, I do”, said Gonzo, “I’ve never had this kind of opportunity before!”

“Neither have I”, said Walter.

Then Waldo sped his way to the resort, and then spit out the car, landing it through the window of the resort.

“So, anybody need a room?”, asked the clerk.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

Soon, the Muppets were all outside, in the ski area.

“Wow, I can’t believe we’re finally here!”, said Walter.

“Well, let’s get started”, said Scooter.

“STARTED! STARTED!”, yelled Animal.

“Yeah, right on”, said Floyd.

“I have the cutest ski moves”, said Bean.

So they all went up the hill.

“I’m ready”, said Gonzo.

“Let’s all do this”, said Walter.

“Here goes nothing!”, said Sweetums, who took off… And screamed as he skied out of control and crashed into a tree.

The Mutations skied down.

“Very impressive”, observed Louis Kazagger.

“If you think that’s impressive”, said Seymour, “You should see me ski!”

And Seymour skied, backwards, and crashed into the first tree.

Bean Bunny skied.

“I told you I could do some cute skiing!”

Walter skied, while whistling “It Feels Like Christmas”.

“Show off!”, said Bean, jealous of Walter’s whistling.

“Beaker”, said Bunsen, “These electro-powered skis should keep you balanced and keep you from crashing!”

“Mee mee mee”, said a hesitant Beaker.

Bunsen pressed a button, which caused Beaker to ski… Very slowly.

“There must be something wrong with this”, said Bunsen.

“There’s not enough power in it!”, said Dr. Phil van Neuter, who took the remote and put some electric cables into it… Causing Beaker to ski fast and out-of-control, leading him into an ice river, where the engines blew out and the ice broke, causing Beaker to fall underneath the ice.

“Hey, Dr. Honeydew, can I use your gadget?”, said Gonzo.

Then an announcer was heard.

“The Great Gonzo, five minutes until your ski act starts!”

“Oh, that’s me”, said Gonzo, as he got ready.

“We’ve got to get down there”, said Rizzo.

“I have to get a front-row seat!”, said Walter.

“I must get to my spot and do the sports casting”, said Louis Kazagger.

“Well, we’ve got the only box seat”, said Waldorf.

“We’ve always got the only box seat”, laughed Statler; Waldorf was not amused.

Gonzo went to his stage.

“Good luck, Gonzo”, said Leon.

“Fer sure!”, said Janice.

“Break a leg!”, said Sal.

“That’s what I intend to do”, said Gonzo.

Walter went to the front row, and saw the Sesame Street Muppets in attendance.

“Hey, the Sesame Street Muppets are here!”, said Walter in disbelief.

“Yeah, we were invited as well”, said Elmo.

“My magic can help if something goes wrong”, said Abby Cadabby.

“And it’s fun to be out here in the snow”, said Zoe.

“I sure hate all this excitement”, said Oscar, “But with everyone talking, I won’t be able to hear the ski act.”

“Shhh”, said Bert, “It’s starting.”

“Ladies and gentlemen”, said Louis Kazagger, “Presenting The Great Gonzo and his skiing act!”

Everyone cheered.

“Normally I’m the one doing the introduction”, said Kermit.

“Unless I’m the one doing the introduction”, said Clifford.

“Greetings, ladies and gentlemen!”, said Gonzo, “And now I, the Great Gonzo, will ski down this dangerous slope!”

Everyone cheered, and then Gonzo started his skiing.

“This is so exciting”, said Ernie.

“Yeah”, said Bert, “But if you want real excitement you should go to the winter chess tournament.”

“This is fun to watch”, said Telly.

“Too bad I can’t see it”, said Aristotle.

“Wow, Gonzo sure is good at this”, said Fozzie.

“And I don’t think he wanted to be”, said Rowlf.

Gonzo soon finished his act and everyone cheered.

“I can’t stand all this happiness”, groaned Oscar.

“Wow”, said Big Bird, “That was wonderful.”

“Maybe I should learn to ski”, said Snuffy.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 7

Soon, everyone went inside, to enjoy a warm fire and the Christmas tree.

“Wow, I sure did have a great first Christmas with the Muppets”, said Walter.

“Even though we got lost?”, said Fozzie.

“Yes”, said Walter, whistling “Have Yourself a Merry Little Chrismtas” as he walked on.

“I’ll go get the music ready”, said Dr. Teeth.

“Hey, where the cookies? Where cookies?”, said an impatient Cookie Monster.

“Over there!”, said Herry, pointing.

“Oh, cowabunga!”, shouted Cookie Monster as he ran toward the cookies.

“Over five hundred people at the resort this Christmas!”, laughed The Count.

Bunsen brought in Beaker, who was stuck inside an ice cube.

“Now, now, Beaker”, said Bunsen, “We’ll get you by the fire and thaw you out.”

“Like, good planning, Dr. Honeydew”, said Janice.

Janice got her guitar and joined the rest of The Electric Mayhem, as they started to perform “Wonderful Christmastime”.

“Stop! Stop!”, shouted Kermit, “Animal, Zoot, Lips, stop playing for a minute!”

The band stopped playing.

“Thank you”, said Kermit, “It’s the end of the story, so I feel it’s my duty to give a little speech. Anyway, I’d like to welcome Walter to the Muppets, and apologize for the fact that even though his name’s in the title it was more of an ensemble cast story.”

“No offense taken”, said Walter.

“That’s one apology!”, said The Count.

“And I’d like to apologize for some of us getting lost”, said Kermit.

“That’s two, two apologies!”

“I should be the one to apologize”, said ‘80s Robot, “It was my fault, after all.”

“Three wonderful apologies!”

“And I’d like to….”

Grover came, interrupting Kermit.

“Hey, froggy babeeeee!”, shouted Grover as he slapped Kermit on the back.

“What are you doing, Grover?”, asked Kermit.

“Oh, I just wanted to make my cameo”, said Grover.

“Well, anyway, where was I?”, said Kermit, “Oh, yes. Merry Christmas,e verybody!”

Everyone applauded.

“May we continue playing now?”, said Floyd.

“Yes, Floyd”, said Kermit.

The band continued their song.

The ice cube Beaker was in had fully thawed out, but then Beaker slipped on all the water that dripped from it, slipping backwards into the fireplace, running and screaming as he was caught on fire.

“I’ll put out that fire!”, said Abby Cadabby, who waved her wand, “Man of fire, man of fire, put out fire with a tire!”

And then several tires fell onto Beaker.

The End