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Picking Up The Pieces

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Aaron, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. Aaron

    Aaron Active Member

    This is the story i spoke about in the fan fiction idea pitch thread. I've worked with Ruahnna to bring it to life so with out further ado here she is with the first scene
  2. Ruahnna

    Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    It was a shockingly normal day at the Muppet Theater. Clifford was up on a ladder, changing that light bulb, and Kermit was his usual distracted self. Scooter kept the flow of paper and people moving constantly, if not smoothly, and they parted neatly on either side of the not-quite flustered amphibian. Piggy was kvetching about wardrobe, but without any real malice in it, so she was probably just doing it so she could model the two most eye-catching gowns she was wearing in this week’s show.
    This was going to be a great show—bigger and better than anything they’d done before. The spirit of enthusiasm and challenge seemed to infuse all of them, drawing new reserves of talent from each stalwart performer. Fozzie had attacked his stand-up routine with gusto, and there was every possibility that it might keep the hecklers at bay until he was done. The chef was perfecting some new, highly colorful and perfectly awful-smelling technologically based dish, and there was the odor of singed ozone everyone. Even the chorus girls were sweating through their paces with more than the usual enthusiasm, which probably explained the number of unoccupied male performers lurking around the practice room.
    There was a roar like a cannon blast—in fact, it was a cannon blast!--and Gonzo was soaring, bird-like, through the lofty auditorium. He'd had a couple of flops earlier today, but changing the angle of ol' Betsy, his trusty cannon, had seemed to do the trick. No chance of him landing before he'd hit his target THIS time! thought Gonzo. Nosiree! He wasn't going to stop until he hit the dead center of the target painted on that big trampoline!
    Below, Rizzo watched in a mixture of disbelief and feigned nonchalance. The little blue dude had certainly been playing it close to the wire this week. One of these days, thought the little rat nervously, he was going to break something he needed.
    There it was now, coming closer, closer! Gonzo felt a rush of adrenaline—better than the best sugar rush in the world, and twice as intoxicating. He was going to make it! He was going further than any weirdo had ever gone before!
    “Whoo hoo!” Gonzo called ecstatically. “This is fantastic! This is incredible! This is—“
    Gonzo felt a sudden twinge of fear and, so unfamiliar was it that he didn't recognize it at first. His trajectory seemed a little off. He tried to correct for it, holding one side of his cape out to change the angle, and was relieved when he wobbled back in line with the big yellow concentric circles on the trampoline.
    The surge of fear was abating now. Gonzo felt calm. He felt immortal, invincible—
    There was another sound, sortof like a cannon shot, but more…organic in nature. Every head snapped around to stare at the big trampoline.
    Kermit watched in horror as Gonzo smacked into the trampoline right on target, but he was going too fast—way too fast—when he hit. The stretched canvas caught him, enveloped him, and sent him hurtling back the way he had come.
    Nooooo!” yelled Rizzo. “He’s goin’ too fast! He’s gonna—“ He began to run. He knew he was too far away, but he had to try.
    Sensing the little rodent’s panic, Clifford made a wild grab for Gonzo’s nose as he rocketed past. Clifford was fast, and his reflexes were good, but he felt like he was moving underwater. His hand closed on air, but then the drag of Gonzo’s passing caused the lanky, wildly-coiffed muppet to cry out in terror and grip the ladder with all four limbs. Piggy looked up as Gonzo buzzed the second floor dressing rooms, all but dropping a creamy violet-colored chiffon dress in her surprise at being passed at a number of miles per hour. Even Kermit, who was staring in consternation at his PDA, which had eaten the last program notes without so much as a burp, looked up and watched—they all watched—as Gonzo hit the back wall with a bone-jarring thud, hung for an instant as though suspended, then fell limply to the ground. Not one moved.
    Then everyone did.
  3. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    It's a good and certainly addictive first chapter, leaving you with that cliffhanger feeling. Good nods to other people's works: Clifford fixing that light as usual, Gonzo's cannon named Old Betsy, Kermit annoyed with his program devouring PDA... It's just that that little blue weirdo's been through so much recently, I'm hoping everything will turn out OK in the end. As always, more when the two of you can.
  4. Beauregard

    Beauregard Well-Known Member

    *stares*

    *stares*

    *stares*

    The delicious descriptions, the sense of slow-motion and impending fear, and the final mind-shattering last lines, "Not one moved. Then everyone did." pull together to make this first chapter gripping and stun worthy. Beautifull.
  5. ryhoyarbie

    ryhoyarbie Active Member

    One gripe I'm going to say, use paragaraphs instead of having everything together in on group. It makes better for the eyes to read.
  6. Morgan Clueless

    Morgan Clueless New Member

    That was gripping, thrilling, heart-stopping! :concern: Poor Gonzo! I hope things turn out for the better for him.

    And I'm going to have to agree with Ryhoyarbie's gripe--some of the paragraphs tend to mash together, which makes it difficult to read in some parts. But apart from that, I found this to be a wonderful story.

    ~ Morgan "Freefaller" Goat

    (PS: I want to write a Muppet fanfic with Nigel the conductor as the main character, but I don't know how to start it or even write it in the first place, because I've never seen the Muppet Show and I'm afraid of inaccuracy. :( Feel free to ignore this if you want; I just put this out for the heck of it.)
  7. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    WOW!

    .....WOW!

    That is... That is... I... <speechless>

    ..................

    That is absolutely incredible. I love the chaos-as-usual feeling at the beginning, and Gonzo's thought processes, and Rizzo's, and the different perspectives of Gonzo's reverse flight, and just... WOW! It's INCREDIBLE!

    MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  8. Aaron

    Aaron Active Member

    a story i helped create has been praised by lisa you have no idea how good that makes me feel
  9. Ruahnna

    Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    Flying

    Oh look, thought Gonzo dimly. The mothership has come back for me. He wished they’d turn down the engine. It was so noisy and…hard. Wait…. Geez, he felt soooo sleepy.
    “Oh my gosh, oh my goodness!”
    “Is he—he isn’t—I mean, he isn’t—“
    “—snapped off the wall like he’d been shot out of a cannon.”
    “He was shot out of a cannon, you dope, only—“
    “—hit his head? I head a crack and I think he might have—“
    “—move him until we get a doctor. Where’s Honeydew? He’s better than nothing, but—“
    “—don’t like the look of those—“
    “Gonzo? Can you hear me?”
    “Sweetie? Are you—“
    “Bawk, bawk? Buc-buc-begawk!”
    This last sounded frantic, even in Gonzo’s very comfortable state. He appeared to be floating, drifting through big puffy clouds. Occasionally one of the clouds would totally obscure his vision, blocking out all sound, too. Wow—it was so pretty up here…but hard. He tried to shift, but even an attempt at movement made his head explode with pain, and nothing else moved.
    “Hey!” said a gentle voice. A slim hand touched his cheek, gentle but firm.
    Gonzo stirred, dragging himself back from the pretty clouds. He knew that voice. That was…he had to think a moment.
    “Hey, Gonzo—it’s Kermit.” The voice was measured, calm and cheerful. The speaker was none of those things. “Can you hear me?”
    “Mee meep! Meep meep moo!”
    “Let him through! Let him through!” someone was shouting.
    Gonzo wished they’d turn down the noise—it was hurting his head.
    Of course I can hear you, Gonzo said, but the voice couldn’t seem to leave his head. But I could hear you better if—
    The hand on his cheek was removed, and he could feel a larger shape looming over him. His eyelids fluttered and he caught a glint of glass, a flash of green.
    “Oh dear, oh dear,” someone muttered.
    Gonzo knew that voice, too. It was…it was….
    “Don’t tell me to calm down! He’s my roomie, you big, insensitive—“
    “Hey now, nobody meant nothin’ about—“
    “—not good. I don’t like the way his legs—“
    “—see him hit? I was backstage—I heard the noise and came running when they said—“
    “Kermie—do you think—“
    “I don’t know, Piggy,” said the anguished voice. “I just wish the EMTs would—“
    “They’re here! Kerm—the ambulance just pulled up out front and two guys are—
    “--cracked his head, I thought, but he’s still wearing the helmet.”
    “Hey there!” This was a new voice—a voice Gonzo didn’t recognize at all. It was hearty, cheerful, matter-of-fact. Someone was touching him again—not Kermit. He felt a strong hand on his collarbone and one on his other cheek. Somebody was holding his hand.
    Aw, Camilla, he thought dimly. Not in front of strangers. Wait until after the show, then we’ll--
    Holding his hand and counting. He tried counting, too, but the numbers wouldn’t stay in line. And his head hurt. He wanted to go back to the clouds—so peaceful, so quiet.
    “Did you move him?”
    “No.” There was Kermit. He sounded…scared. Was Kermit afraid of this guy? He seemed…nice, confident.
    “Okay—his vitals are okay, but I don’t like the look of—“ The voice trailed off abruptly, then seemed to move further away.
    Gosh, the ground was so hard. Carefully, Gonzo tried to shift, careful not to move his head. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. There was a moment of crystal clarity as adrenaline surged through his system, then he heard Kermit and the new voice again. A third voice had joined them.
    “Okay—on three. One, two, three—“
    Gonzo was flying, soaring into the sky. At least, it felt like the sky, but the clouds were all dark now.
    “—not allowed,” the new voice said. “I can’t let rats—“
    “I am so too coming in that ambulance!” screeched Rizzo. “You wanna keep me out you’re gonna have to take me out!”
    “But—“
    “Please,” said Kermit. “We won’t get in the way.”
    “Well—“
    “Come on, Joe—who’s going to tell us no, huh?”
    “Right—let’s go.”
    There were two metal clangs, and then the sound of all his friends were shut out. Gonzo felt another twinge of nervousness, then a real twinge as something sharp pricked the back of his hand. He tried to say, “Hey!” in protest, but nothing came out, but a gurgle.
    “Hey there,” said the first unfamiliar voice. “Just an IV, okay? Just going to get you something to take the edge off, okay?”
    “Hey buddy,” said Rizzo. Gonzo could hear the worry in his voice and wanted to tell him it was okay. He moved his head slightly and pain rocked him, making his heart rate shoot up. Rizzo let out a little “yeep” and took several quick breaths. “Don’t move,” he said soothingly. “They’re gonna take good care of you, Gonzo. And Kermit and I are here. We’re gonna be right here with you, okay?”
    Okay Gonzo mumbled, but only in his head.
    For a long while after that, Gonzo heard nothing. His head hurt ferociously, but he realized that he felt no pain at all below his neck. If he had been in a clear state of mind, this might have worried him—if only a little. Now, with the medicine kicking in and his mind beginning to fog, it seemed almost comical. He tried to summon up the energy to grin, but it was just too hard, he was just tooo tired. Gonzo slept, and dreamt of flying.
  10. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Will wonders never cease? Will this flowing font lose it's fluid frenzy of verbal volles? No! And I should hope not!

    Oh Cath... So thrilling to get an update from you for this other story. Course, it seems like Gonzo's taking one too many body-shattering blows in the stories recently. But all the muddled Muppety dialogue mixed in with Gonzo's inner thought analyses rocks me back and forth between humor and genuine concern for the welfare of that little buish weirdo. Please... Post more soon!
  11. Ruahnna

    Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    Kudos to Aaron--my partner in, well, whatever this is. He is the architect of the story--I'm am merely the lowly bricklayer. We hope to post more, soonish.
  12. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Good... Then all I can do is read and merely wait for new story to get posted with hearty enthusiasm.
  13. ReneeLouvier

    ReneeLouvier Active Member

    Oh my gosh! This is....wow!! Awesome and neat story! I can't wait to read more....
  14. Fragglemuppet

    Fragglemuppet Well-Known Member

    Wow, I love the way you let us see it all from Gonzo's foggy point of view! I admit that I'm waiting to see just how this will differ from Ryan's 'Old Friends', but I still love this story on its own!

    More please!
    :)

    By the way, I also loved the way you described Kermit so perfectly as he was holding Gonzo's hand!
  15. Wow! you've got me on the edge of my seat! you're an awesome writer! can't wait to read more
  16. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    ... Though this story is a collaboration between Aaron and Catherine (Ruahnna), who's doing the writing... If you want to read more of her greatness, then check out these titles in the Fanfic section of the forums: Somebody's Getting Married?, Getting Swamped, and Kermie's Girl. They're all in progress and the order of the titles as posted here is the order of chronological progression spanning all three. You might also want to look at Cath's profile and "Find all threads started" by her to find the other short stories she's posted in the fanfic library. Hope this helps and have a good day.
  17. Morgan Clueless

    Morgan Clueless New Member

    (I don't know why, but today, I seem to be at a total loss of words. :o )

    This chapter certainly was, um... fast-paced. Or foggy, as someone previously described it as. Not saying it's bad, but... Oh, drat! >.<

    But it's good, anyway. :sympathy:

    ~ Morgan "..." Goat
  18. Ruahnna

    Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    Fully Engaged

    “I’ve been trying and trying, but the nurse won’t talk to me,” Kermit was saying. Fozzie looked crestfallen, Piggy, mutinous, but Kermit could do nothing but continue to repeat what he’d been told. “They won’t release any information to me because we’re not related.”
    “Can’t they get Gonzo to sign some forms?” said Rowlf. “I know if the patient fills out the forms they’ll talk to you.”
    “Me mee meee me meep,” said Beaker irritably, and Bunsen Honeydew nodded in agreement.
    “I agree, Beakie. This does make things more difficult.”
    Kermit looked uncomfortable. “I—I think they’re trying to find a family member,” he said quietly. “I’m not sure what to…um, I don’t know what that means.”
    “But—but we are his family,” Piggy said softly. A week ago, she would have denied knowing him at a tony eatery, but concern had caused even Piggy to drop her façade of disinterested distance. Camilla bawked softly, and Piggy put a comforting arm around her. “I know, Honey,” she murmured, hugging the brooding hen close.
    Everyone was quiet.
    “Forget this,” said Rizzo disgustedly. “Hey, Piggy—lemme borrow that big rock of yours.”
    Piggy looked at him in confusion for a moment, then fingered BK* protectively.
    “What for?”
    Rizzo stepped forward and pierced her with a look. “For Gonzo,” he said defiantly. Piggy took the ring off and gave it to him.
    Rizzo marched over to the nurses' desk and, although they couldn’t tell exactly what was happening, they saw Rizzo throw himself prostrate onto the u-shaped surface. Immediately, the little rat was surrounded by concerned nurses, all standing anxiously around as Rizzo sobbed realistically and pounded on the desk. Kermit was sure he heard, “But, but we were s’posed to get married next Spring,” before he turned his mind firmly away. Best not to know, he thought with a sigh. In an impressively short period of time, Rizzo was helped solicitously to dry his tears and was being escorted down to Gonzo’s room. Behind one of the nurse’s backs, Rizzo gave Kermit a big thumbs up, leaving the amazed amphibian to shake his head.
    Leave it to Rizzo, he thought ruefully. Once the little rat made up his mind about something, it wasn’t much use to argue.
    “Hey guys, I think Rizzo is going to get in. Maybe we’ll know something soon, hm?”

    Gonzo was sitting up in bed. He looked…pale and shorn and a little stubbly where they had had to clip some of his fur for stitches, but the smile on his face was as undimmed as ever. Well, maybe a little dimmed, because Gonzo was obviously getting a lot of pain intervention through his IV. Rizzo fought the urge to flee and kept a death-grip on the mylar balloon in his hand.
    “Hey, you ol’ weirdo, you,” he said. His voice sounded gruff and he tried hard to make it sound normal.
    “Hey yourself,” said Gonzo. His eyes tried to focus on Rizzo, but slid off as though it was too much effort to hold the contact.
    “What’s the Doc say? When they going to cut you loose?”
    Gonzo roused a little, opening his eyes wider. The act seemed to cause him pain, for he winced.
    “Didn’t say.”
    “Hey—don’t hurt yourself,” cautioned Rizzo. The little rat tied the balloon to the end of the bed rail and hastened over. He took Gonzo’s hand, which was lying outside the sheet, and squeezed it. Gonzo didn’t squeeze back, and Rizzo felt a little thrill of nervousness run up his spine.
    “Just…got a headache,” said Gonzo. “Doctor said something about a spinal headache.”
    Rizzo digested this piece of information thoughtfully.
    “They do a spinal tap?” he asked.
    “Huh? Oh—yeah, something like that. Doctor said…” Gonzo trailed off, looking distracted, then his eyes swung back to focus on Rizzo again. “What’d you say, buddy?”
    “Don’t worry about it,” said Rizzo gently. He squeezed Gonzo’s hand again, then reached up and patted his face. “I’m going to leave Mr. Happy Face balloon tied to the bed so you don’t feel lonely, but I’ll be back in to see you soon, okay?”
    “Sure….” Gonzo said drowsily.
    “Oh—and Gonzo?”
    “Hmm?”
    Rizzo flashed Piggy’s big ring at his friend. “If, um, anybody asks, we’re engaged—okay?”
    Gonzo would have laughed, but he was too tired to manage. He smiled at Rizzo weakly.
    “Sure,” he said wryly. “Take advantage of a guy when he’s down.”
    “That’s what I’m here for!” said Rizzo with a laugh.
    “Well, if we’re engaged, then I expect you to stop seeing other weirdos!” Gonzo insisted, then winced. Rizzo shrugged eloquently.
    “Can’t help you there—I gotto go back to the boarding house. You rest. But I’ll come see you real soon.”
    Gonzo didn’t respond. When Rizzo turned to look, he was fast asleep.


    *BK is the name of the ring that Piggy is ALWAYS wearing—this is muppet canon—not my stuff. She named it that to remind her of life Before Kermit.
  19. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Oh you little min... No, that word's mired in some bad legal news in the sporting world at the moment. This was oh so good... Methinks you meant to say Gonzo focused on Rizzo which made the weirdo hurt a little, as it'd be tough for him to focus his eyes on himself standing next to the bed where he's already lying. Loved the grouping of Muppets who showed concern at the beginning, only Scooter's missing to make it a grown-up Muppet Babies ensamble. Was touched when Piggy put her arm around Camilla in a show of shared concern over the blue daredevil. Hope that balloon doesn'tpop like the one Bean gave Link Hogthrob when the hammy actor thought he had a bout of deadly Canadian Swine Flu (JHH reference, Episode 07: Health & Fitness gueststarring Smokey Robinson). Keep it oming, hexpect updates to all your vonderful stories Aunt Cath. And I also thank Aaron for instilling the inspiration for this superb addition to the library.
  20. Ruahnna

    Ruahnna Well-Known Member

    (Thanks, dear. Hope I fixed that! Too tired to think straight.) Glad you enjoyed--more updates on the way!


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