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Fanfic: She learnt me to see

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by ilovemusic, May 11, 2011.

  1. ilovemusic

    ilovemusic Active Member

    She was born without a future
    She won't make it without me
    But she leant me something special
    She learnt me to see, yeah
    She learnt me to see
    (translated from Dutch)

    So, here's my new fanfic.
    Don't think my old one died, I just continue it when I finished this one.
    I like the character of the sixteen-year-old saxplayer...:cool:
    And BTW, Daisy is my new Fanfic Charry.
    And the drawing next to this story: http://effiequisquilla.deviantart.com/#/d3g3j0d

    Part 1: The walking stick

    It was a very hot day in Juli.
    The air above the empty roads shaked of heat.
    Nobody went out of his house, even the birds were silent.
    Only in the park was one young man sitting on a bench. He wasn't even a young man, he was just a teen.
    Everybody who would have seen him there (nobody did) would mention he was in a mood of pur teenager fear. The fear which is stalking you with bad thoughts.
    "I always knew... I'm just a fool worth nothing...", he whispered with a voice sore of crying.
    "I knew..." He felt the tears burning behind his eyes and wanted most to slap himself right into his face.
    Come on, a voice into his head mentioned, you're a brave guy, and sixteen year old guys don't cry.
    "But I'm not brave...", he said. Again he felt embarassed. One, he was talking against nobody. Second, he was crying like a little girl.

    "Are you allright?" a tiny, fragile voice suddenly mentioned.
    He looked up and swept away his tears, tried to smile. "Why, yeah..."
    He saw a girl of about his age standing there. She looked normal, with as two exceptions her big sunglasses and a weird kind of red-white walking stick.
    "what's your name?" she asked. She tapped on the ground with the stick while walking to the bench.
    "I-I'm Zterim Kavil, but most of the times I'm called Zoot."
    "Zoot...", the girl repeated. "Nice name."I'm Daisy. Daisy MCGreen."
    The two teens sat silent next to eachother on the bench for a while.
    Them Daisy said: "You sound kinda... sad. What's up?"
    "Oh er... It's just... People on my school don't accept me as who I am. According to my parents, I'm a bit depressed."
    "Poor you...", Daisy said.
    Zoot looked at her. She had a round face with thick, red hair, a purple skin and a blue nose. He couldn't see anything of her eyes.
    "I think you have to wait...", she said.
    "I'm waiting my whole life already." he mumbled.
    "Me too, Zoot...", she said.
    He felt surprised. He mumbled it very quiet, and still she heard it. Weird.
    "Are you surprised I heard you?" Daisy asked.
    Zoot nodded and waited till she aswered.
    "Zoot? Why don't you respond?" she said, still patiently.
    "I nodded!" Zoot said.
    Daisy laughed, it's sounded like someone fiddled with a newspaper.
    "I can't see that, my dear." She took off her shades.
    Zoot looked into her eyes. Her pupils were grey and empty. Daisy was blind.
    Of course, that's why she heard him so good, she was only focussing on sounds!
    And she used her walking stick as an aid to know where she walked.
    Daisy put up her shades again.
    "Sorry. I must be scaring you. I'll go, don't bother."
    "No Daisy!", he said. "I'm just impressed. It's so good you dare to walk alone."
    He was silent for a moment, them he asked: "Is it hard to live without seeing?"
    She shaked her head. "No. I'm blind since I was three weeks old. I don't know else."
    She tapped on the bench till she found his hand.
    Zoot pulled away his hand immediately. No more girls, he thought.
    Daisy laughed again. "I don't do that because I love you. I can feel your mood in your hands."
    She took his hand again, carefully.
    "You've got much tension in your hands. You're still sad, aren't you?"
    "Yes.", he said. "How did you learn that?"
    "Easy.", Daisy said. "All I did is to learn to see."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    End of chapter 1
  2. Muppetfity888

    Muppetfity888 New Member

    Keep writing. This is very good.
  3. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Very nice so far!

    I like the idea of feeling tension in the hands; I have done some massage work (completely amateur, but experienced) and know how true that is: our bodies project a great deal of our inner mind. We just become adept at hiding it...

    And okay, I know it's technically incorrect, but I LOVE the phrase "The air above the empty roads shaked of heat." Very strong image! :cool:

    Keep it up, please!
  4. ilovemusic

    ilovemusic Active Member

    Part 2

    "Mum? Dad?", Zoot asked. "Let me introduce you to my nwe friend, Daisy McGreen."
    "Girlfriend?", Michelle asked.
    "Múúúúm!", Zoot said. Daisy laughed.
    "Er, Daisy?" Osàk asked. "Can you please take off your sunglasses indoors?"
    "Dad!", Zoot said. He looked angry at his father. Daisy laughed again.
    Them she said to Osàk: "Dear mister Kavil, I'm blind."
    Osak blushed. "Oh. Sorry."
    "Doesn't matter," Daisy said, "There are more people who don't mention that at first. Like your son."
    "Well Daisy..." Michelle stood up and took Daisy's hand. "I'm Michelle Anderson, Zoot's mother."
    "Nice to meet you.", Daisy smiled. Zoot couldn't imagine how she would look when she didn't smile.
    She smiled always.
    Them Osàk spoke up. "I'm Osàk Kavil, Zoot's father."
    "Your accent is slight Arabic or Hebrew," Daisy said, "Have you been living there?"
    "Yes..." Osàk was very surprised. "I'm from Israel..."
    "You're a very nice girl, Daisy," Michelle said, "Are you from Ireland? Your hair is red."
    "IRELAND?", Osàk suddenly shouted. "If you are, get outta here!"
    "What's up with Irish people?", Daisy asked to Zoot.
    "My sister Idona did get a boyfriend serveral years ago, and he was Irish. They both moved to Ireland. And my dad's still angry with the unfortunally guy."
    "But I'm not Irish!", Daisy said. "I'm just an American muppet!"
    "Hm," Osàk mumbled. "I don't believe."
    "Osàk, that's enough!" Michelle said.
    "Umm, Daisy, c'mon, we'll take a walk," Zoot said.
    When he closed the door, he heard his mum and dad begin to scream at eachother.
    "Don't feel embarassed, Zoot..."Daisy said.
    "It's normal when parents are a bit arguing."
    "A bit?", Zoot said. "They're always arguing!"
    Daisy took his hand.
    "Are you again feeling my tension?" He asked.
    Daisy shaked her head. "I hold your hand so I don't have to use my stick. Can I trust you?"
    "Yes,"Zoot said. "You can trust me."

    ~~~~~~~~
    End of part 2

    Sorry for the short post, but I wanted to update my story and I didn't have much time.
    And thanks for the comments! :D
    ElectricMayhem1 likes this.
  5. bingboingcutie

    bingboingcutie Active Member

    This is really terrific!

    I love how it's going so far! And the descriptions are really neat!

    The character of Daisy is so great. She's always so calm and friendly. As if her descriptions weren't enough, the picture enhances everything! So adorable!
    Love this quote here: "Zoot couldn't imagine how she would look when she didn't smile.
    She smiled always."

    Aw, poor Zoot...
  6. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    I think "I'm just an American Muppet!" is my fave line so far. :)

    Keep it up!
  7. bingboingcutie

    bingboingcutie Active Member

    Is music. Is Zoot. Is muppet who no can see. Is more?

    ...peoples is peoples.
  8. Fersureitsjess

    Fersureitsjess Active Member

  9. ilovemusic

    ilovemusic Active Member

    Thanks to you all! :)

    Chapter 3

    Zoot didn't know if it was because of the hot day or Daisy holding his hand he suddenly felt weird. Some weird sparkling deep inside his chest. Just ate something wrong, he thought to himself. But he knew very good what was happening with him.
    It was late in the afternoon and the heat of the morning was now only a pleasant warmth. The air sure was some kind of muggy, and it felt like he inhaled stick syrup instead of air. But there was something good in the air between the two teens.
    The birds, which had been silent during the day, began to whistle again, a little orchestra sounded out the trees now. The day could not have end better than this.
    He cast a furtive glance at his brandnew friend. Maybe, he thought, maybe she knows what I'm thinking about. But she didn't look at him like he was a weirdo. Not yet.
    He decided to tell it to her.
    "Daisy...", he began. He didn't dare to complete his sentence. Sure, he looked like a weirdo, and not even like some kind of stereotypical nerd, but like some kind of freak.
    Suddenly he realized that Daisy didn't see him, so she also would have no prejudice.
    "What do you want to say?", Daisy asked. Zoot blushed and was glad that Daisy didn't notice it. But again, she felt his hand. "You're such a nervous person, Zoot. Why? I think you're quite lovely!"
    "That's what YOU think!" He said it sharper than he wanted to. He felt the tears burn in the corners of his eyes.
    "Sorry, Daisy. It has nothing to do with you. I just..." He sighed. "What I told you. I'm not really an ordinary guy."
    "Indeed," she said on a low tone, "I think you're special. You're really not ordinary. I know what it's like, being different."
    She was silent for a moment. "Don't you think I have ever been bullied? There are people who are scared of me, Zoot. Not only for I'm a muppet, but also because I'm blind. They see me as a contagious disease. As some kind of nasty parasite. I hope you think I'm not."
    She looked him in the eyes. She didn't really look , because she moved her eyes uninterrupted in a kind of spastic way behind her sunglasses, Zoot knew. But she did just do it for the symbolic tone of her little lecture.
    "I don't think you are! My mum has been taking care of disabled people, and I've never dare to think they were scary or something! They were just people in their mind. Only their body didn't functionate like it had to, but they're people! You're also just a muppet and I love you!"
    He nearly hit his hands comic-like to his mouth. Four words too much, you fool, his inner voice shouted. He resisted the urge to shrink.
    "Zoot...", Daisy said slowly, "I love you to."
    Maybe, if everything went good after that sentence which came out of the delicate mouth of Daisy, they would have hugged eachother or even kissed on that point. I guess we'll never know, because it DIDN'T went good.
    Zoot heard the guys when they were on the corner of the street. Why, he thought dumb, are there corners on a street if it's however to late to see any enemy coming?
    "Heya blind chick!", the tallest of the group shouted. "Ayya walkin' with the freak?"
    "Who are they?", Daisy whispered to Zoot. "My worst nightmare", Zoot responsed. He felt weird again. But this time it wasn't love. This time it was the most extreme fear he had ever felt. It spread itself as an army of malignant ants out of his chest, untill it reached his members and head, and a high, raw scream escaped from his mouth.
    ~End of part two.

    Ehh, for one of you didn't notice, this wasn't the end yet ;)
    ElectricMayhem1 and newsmanfan like this.
  10. Fersureitsjess

    Fersureitsjess Active Member

  11. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    ------------------------------------
    "Four words too much"...that make such a difference when spoken and when heard. Very nice, Effie! Keep going!

    ---------------------------------------
  12. Fronkenstien

    Fronkenstien New Member

    Eep! Love it.
  13. bingboingcutie

    bingboingcutie Active Member

    Yes! It's time for a fanfic! <sits down in chair and opens computer>:cool:
  14. bingboingcutie

    bingboingcutie Active Member

    Que awesome!!! I was just reading the whole thing and when I came to this part, I was like WOW! It really surprised me...and it was so good!!

    I agree with newsmanfan. That quote was super!

    ...have you ever considered being a professional writer? Because I'm really hungry for more.:insatiable:
  15. ilovemusic

    ilovemusic Active Member

    Thanks again everybody! :laugh:

    Chapter 4

    Always when something sad or nasty happened to Zoot, he fled away to the little bright corner of his mind, in which he felt safe. It wasn´t wise to do this, but say honestly, if you got beaten by five guys taller than you there´s not much more to do than doing that. Afterwards, he felt the pain very good, but at least the guys were gone.
    He opened his eyes and looked in the face of Daisy. He stupidity wondered if blind people could cry. They didn´t need anything to keep their eyes moist, so why would they need tears to cry? But, if they could, Daisy was crying now.
    "Zoot...", she whispered. "I'm so very sorry... I couldn't help you."
    At that point, Zoot realised she was phisical weak. She was mental strong enough to help, but if she only could hear what was happening, she was very weak. She needed protection. Another attack on his self-confidence. He wasn't even strong enough to protect himself, forget about protecting her! She needed some 'cooler' guy, like...
    His head began to hurt, so he stopped thinking about a possible good boyfriend for the girl he actually wanted for being his girlfriend. How comlicated can a muppet think?
    "Doesn't matter, Daisy. It's my own, stupid fault."
    He put his hand on his head. It seemed quite sticky up there. Slowly he realized he was bleeding. He guessed his head hit the ground when he fell down.
    "Hum, Daisy? Do you maybe have a cellphone? I'm a lil' injured."
    And he just said it, when the earth seemed to wave around him. It really waved, like a sea. A sea in which he was drowning now.

    Light. White light. Bright voice. Daisy? He opened his eyes.
    If I'm dead, where am I them? Even thinking of this full sentence gave him a headache.
    It wasn't Daisy talking to him. It was a muppet woman. Green skin, black hair, big grey eyes behind an enormous pair of glasses.
    "Miche-- Mum?" His tongue felt thick, like he had been drunk. He didn't have any experience on that way, but he just thought of the way the uys from his class talked on monday mornings.
    "Zterym. Oh, I'm so glad you're back."
    Did he only imagine it, or did his mother have wet eyes? Most of the times eyes were wet, but in this wet he ment the water was nearly sculping a tear.
    "Whut happn'd, mum?" He asked. He couldn't remember anything, exept a pair of eyes. Grey and without expression. But still he loved them. Daisy. Another name creeping through the thick syrup people called brains. According to him, there was nothing in there except syrup. Maybe the kind of syrup which is always on pancakes.
    Would mum there mind to make some pancakes if he was at home?
    What in whatever's name was he thinking about? Maybe he actually WAS drunk.
    "You've been beaten by the guys-" she had a scornful tone with the word 'guys', "-of your class. Some young man did you bring to here."
    "What's 'here'?", he asked.
    "The hospital, Zterym. Don't you remember anything them?"
    "Some things, mum." He suddenly was startled. "Where's Daisy?"
    "Daisy? The girl who was holding your hand while you were sleepin'?"
    A boy entered the room. Zoot couldn't guess his age. The boy looked childish and grown-up at the same time. He had a green skin, what already made him a muppet, or, at least a whatnot. But his looks were to clear for being a whatnot.
    "I'm Giovanny." The boy reached out for shaking hands. But from Zoot's side, there came no reaction. "Giovanny who?", he asked.
    Giovanny Not-Giving-His-Last-Name rolled his eyes. "Giovanny Teeth.", he mumbled.
    In Zoot's mind appeared a vague picture of the school band. "Wait... ain'tcha the keyboarder of the band?"
    "Yes." More eye-rolling. "I'm the keyboarder, and more important, I saved you from the 'guys'."
    "Waitwaitwait." Zoot shook his head and raised his hands as an universal sign of misunderstanding. "There was something with the band, I can remember."
    Giovanny Teeth raised one eyebrow. "Ehhhh, yeah? One of your great friends, the 'guys', is in the band. He's actually playing the bass. His name is Fareed Pepper. That whatcha lookin' for?"
    "Hey hey, wait a second, you two!", Michelle suddenly shouted. "Don't use any Texas accent in my presence!"
    "Okay,"Giovanny said. "Anyway, Fareed Pepper, better known as Floyd Pepper."
    "Yeah, he." Zoot rubbed his head. "I already thought I knew him. He beated me today. I don't get WHY, but he did."
    He suddenly realised what he first wanted to know. "But where's Daisy?"
    "The girl fled away, like a bird." Giovanny made a move with his arms like he flew away.
    Zoot decided he began to hate Giovanny, Floyd-Fareed Pepper and all the whatchamacallthestuff which held him away from the girl he truly loved.

    ~End of part 4

    Note: Floyd's real name is dumb, and I can't imagine him beating someone. Maybe he just was a jerk when he was young. Anyway, I needed a band member for this unpleasant 'job', and Floyd's my victim now. So. Hope I don't get enemies now, because after all he doesn't seem to be sucha fool. But I'm not gonna say more. Y'all have to wait fer the next chap. (Michelle's voice from backstage: "NO TEXAS ACCENT!" DX)
    ElectricMayhem1 likes this.
  16. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    -------------------------------------------------------
    "Another name creeping through the thick syrup people called brains. According to him, there was nothing in there except syrup. Maybe the kind of syrup which is always on pancakes.
    Would mum there mind to make some pancakes if he was at home?
    What in whatever's name was he thinking about? Maybe he actually WAS drunk."

    LOL! Nice!
    Hmmm. So Floyd beat him up? Why would Floyd hang with a crowd of violent street punks? And if he and Dr Teeth are in the band, won't there be friction? I'm curious to see how you resolve the conflict between the will-be-bandmates. Good work so far Effie!
    -------------------------------------------------------
  17. bingboingcutie

    bingboingcutie Active Member

    :D Ya won't get enemies from me, Effie! GREAT chapter, and I can so see Floyd doing that as a teenager. Now all I have to do is wait for more.

    P.S.: LOVE that line "The girl who was holding your hand while you were sleepin'"!!!

    P.P.S.: What is a Fanfic Charry exactly?

    :D:sing::flirt::cool::halo::imaginary daisy smiley: :imaginary lips smiley:
  18. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    ----------------------
    A Charry, I believe, is somewhat like Dick Van Dyke's character in "Mary Poppins," you know, one who deals with chars and embers...or no. Maybe it's that tiny fruit with a pit which grown in Washington state...
    -----------------------
  19. ilovemusic

    ilovemusic Active Member

    Heheh, a charry means just character.... Maybe I have to stop with write things short. XP

    Chapter 5

    Zoot was irritated by the ticking sound the crutches made every time he moved his arms. He always wanted something to complain about. Sure, he was lucky that he only had a broken leg. He just had to stay one night in the hospital. But he hated crutches. And he hated the color the cast around his leg had. Blue. Just a few shades darker than his skin. And also, his mum wanted him to talk to Fareed. Or Floyd. Whatever.
    So for the first time in his life he walked/stumbled right through the big room the school was built around and looked for his great friends. Even in his mind he couldn't be sarcastic enough to indicate what he wanted to think.
    He was scared. More scared than yesterday. The guys were always standing at the same corner. They picked on everybody who passed it. Zoot didn't even want to know what they would do when someone actually began to talk to them.
    Fareed Pepper was one of the tallest of the group. He had long, orange hair and a few thin hairs on his upper lip which were supposed to be mustaches. Just like Daisy, he was always wearing shades. Daisy. Zoot felt a great flame of pain in his chest. Where was she now? What did they do to her?
    Maybe, the voice in his head mentioned, they want to tell it. Maybe sucha voice was convenient.
    Zoot cleared his throat. All heads turned his way.
    Fareed seemed to get more than nervous, he obviously startled when he saw Zoot was walking on crutches with a bandage around his head.
    "W-wow man, w-what happened to you?" He began to shake uncontrollable.
    "You know what happened to me." Zoot enjoyed the situation a bit. At least Fareed was scared of him, not because of what he looked like, but what happened to him.
    "I-I...", Fareed stumbled. He looked around to the gang. He nearly seemed shy.
    " 'Kscuse me." He walked away from the other guys and beckoned Zoot.
    "You know," he said when they sat on a bench on a safe distance from the others, "I didn't mean it too rude. It's just... I don't... I mean, I know, I've beaten you up, but... I'm not really who I seem to me. And I'm terribly sorry. It was, like... I've got a girlfriend. She loves me, I love her. She's a bit rough, also. And yesterday I wanted to go with her to the city, and the gang wanted to join us. I couldn't say no, if you understand."
    Fareed was suddenly silent and swept in the eyes behind his shades. Zoot mentioned he was a type for having empty eye sockets, like some other muppets had.
    "Anyway, we were in the city. And they saw you. They said to me I never bullied you, and that it was 'my turn' now. I thought Janice, my girl, would think I was 'cool' if I would beat you or something. So I did. But afterwards, Janice was totally shocked, because you lost consciousness and were bleeding. She broke up. And I realized what I've..."
    Zoot began to be annoyed again. Why the heck did Fareed need to stop every two words? When he looked to him, he suddenly saw why. Fareed was sobbing.
    Apparently he was more sensitive than he first seemed.
    Zoot tried to imagine what he would feel like if Daisy would break up with him. Not that they were a couple, but if they were... Zoot felt the pain in his chest again.
    He could understand Fareed a bit, but he didn't want to cheer him up. But if he didn't Fareed would be sobbing untill the school would start and them he would be in trouble because of him and he wouldn't know what happened to Daisy.
    "Fareed...," he began awkwardly.
    "My name is Floyd," Fareed said murmurous. "Please call me Floyd. That's my second name, and I like it more than Fareed."
    "Okay them, Floyd," Zoot said again, "I can understand you a bit. I would also do that for my, ummm, any girl I would love."
    "Your girl?", Floyd asked, "You mean the red-haired girl who was sitting next to you? Giovanny told me, after he gave me a lecture, she ran away."
    Zoot felt like the ground underneath his feet was collapsing. Or maybe he was collapsing. No, he was still sitting on the bench. But he didn't know where Daisy lived, he never took her home.
    And suddenly the roles were reversed, Fareed was coughing awkwardly and he was sitting on the bench, crying till he thought his eyes would fall out of his head.

    ~End of part 5 (still not the end of the fanfic...)
    ElectricMayhem1 likes this.
  20. ilovemusic

    ilovemusic Active Member

    Got to update this. I write short fanfics, I know, but I´ve got trouble with translating ´em. So:
    Chapter 6

    Very much years later.

    It was a hot day in the theatre. All things went as usually, Beauregard was cleaning the theatre seats, Miss Piggy was busy with throwing around dresses for some reason, and the band was rehearsing their songs.
    There were only two things Zoot was bothered with, namely not falling asleep untill his solos and not thinking to that hot day in the park. That day. The old, but wellknown flare of pain went through his chest. He never got to see her again. And often he saw her cute face in his mind, her beautiful smile and her shades. He touched his own pair. Actually, now he was thinking about it, he did wear them for the same reason now as she did. To hide. To her, it had been her blindness and empty eyes. To him, it was to hide all of him. His expressions, his eyebrows and his terrible eyes. Grey. The grey of a stormy evening. Now he was thinking about it, he was hiding his whole head. Frequently his hat didn't even show his shades. It just wasn't fair. All band members were self-confident, popular beings. And he had to be glad with once a month mail. And nine of the ten times it even was a bill.
    "Zoot!" The irritated voice of Nigel pulled his out of his thoughts. "I dunno what you're doing, but we're on e-a-r-t-h here, trying to play a song in which you are supposed to play a solo now. So."
    Zoot grimaced and put the mouthpiece of the sax in his mouth. Slowly the notes came. He tried to make a little growl in the longers notes, but it didn't work. He couldn't even make a vibrato. His throat refused. It felt like his voice was up to crack or something.
    He sighed. "Nigel, I need to take a little walk. Go ahead without me, please."
    Nigel slowly nodded and his concerned look chased Zoot untill he reached the exit.
    "Ah you! Sjoot! Zere's some visit for chyou." Pops waved at him from behind the glas of his little reception box.
    Zoot raised one eyebrow. Visit? Maybe they thought Floyd was called Zoot or so. He walked to one of the rooms next to the stage hall.
    When he opened the door, he saw a woman sitting there. Obviously muppet or whatnot, her body was too skinny compared to her head.
    He frowned. He hadn't seen her in the theatre before.
    "Ehh, you know, you might be looking for Fl--"
    She turned her head. She had brownish-reddish hair. A pink skin.
    Zoot swallowed slowly. He would sware it was Daisy. But this woman had blue eyes. Just the colour of his skin.
    "Zoot."
    Oh gee. Zoot closed his eyes. That voice. He hadn't heard it in years.
    But maybe, the little voice in his head screamed, it's her sis. Or mum. Or child!
    That last thought almost made him sob. He rougly wiped through his eyes.
    "Zoot. Don't you know me?"
    "Yes..." He said. He opened his eyes. "But your eyes..."
    Daisy smiled. "The doctors are wonderful, nowadays."
    Zoot tried to order his thoughts. It didn't work.
    Daisy slowly took his head and kissed his forehead. "I missed you so much."
    And for the first time in all those years Zoot mentioned he still had emotions. He still could cry.

    THE END
    ElectricMayhem1 likes this.


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