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D'Snowth's Unfinished Thoughts... on LIFE...

Discussion in 'Friends and Family' started by D'Snowth, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    I'm sort of ressurrecting this concept that I started, perhaps five years ago or so, where I try to be all philisophical, and delve into matters that I like to share my thoughts on (IIRC, the original concept was spoofing"Donal Louge's Unfinished Thoughts" from VH1's I Love the Holidays, whcih also featured Stephanie D'Abruzzo, as well as Weird Al's thoughts on random holidays too). I don't know, I guess I just feel "opinionated" lately (uh oh, "opinionated" people are scary... just ask Don Henley... :eek:)... but anyway, here's my topics for today...

    You know, here a few weeks ago, monster storms came through town, and knocked out power for a lot of people, including me for about ten hours or so... in listening to the radio, mostly to keep getting updates to the power situation, I ended up hearing The John Tesh Radio Show being simulcast on B 97.5. Now here's a guy who offers up some interesting insight on different subjects and such, and what he had to say that night really made me think to myself, "That makes so much sense!" That night, he had a list of three reasons why women tend to rush into marriage, even if they may actually think their man is NOT their Mr. Right, and they all seem to have a common thread running through them; his reasonsing were...

    1. The whole "biological clock" thing: as time ticks by, and a woman sees she's in her 30s, almost 40s, still hasn't gotten married and such, etc, she may become desperate enough to walk down the altar with any Tom, Dick, or J. Edgar who may see her.
    2. Babies: because most, if not all, women just absolutely live to want to have babies.
    3. "Cinderella Syndrome": in other words, some women simply want to experience being swept off her feet by a prince charming, and the two of them will live their happily ever after, the end.

    It all makes sense to me. The way I see it, from a man's perspective anyway, that most women are "fooled by fairy tales". What's a "hopeless romantic" exactly? Isn't that someone who feels the only thing important in life is love? If that's what a hopeless romantic is, then I'd say almost all women are those, and again, it seems to be because they believe in those fairy tales: that love is like waiting for your prince charming to sweep you off your feet, and it will lead to that perfect happily ever after, when in fact, that ain't the way it happens at all. They say women mature and "wise-up" quicker than men do, but they still seem to reserve some sense of naivitee, and dare I say, cock-eyed optimism, when it comes to matters of the heart. I believe it was even heralde who once said that love is often overly romanticized anyway... as a guy, I don't usually read romance novels, watch romantic comedies or chick flicks (I DO admit that 13 Going on 30 is a guilty pleasure), although I'm sure most of the people who write those novels and scripts and such may have drawn from past experiences, I'm sure the overall story is probably overly fictionalized, stylized, and like heralde says, romanticized, to the point that it's mostly an unrealistic portrayal.

    Now, I'm not saying that's how ALL women are, because on the contrary, I do know a number of women who do know better than to rely on blind faith in fairy tales, because they've experienced what love in the real world is really like, and have gone through such things as bad relationships, nasty breakups, leeriness of "new guys", etc. But, at the same time, I also know some women whom have jumped at the chance at someone asking them out, even if that was the very first time they had ever met.

    And, I just can't resist that old Hawkeye Pierce quote: "Without love, what are we worth? 89 cents! 89 cents' worth of chemicals walking around sad and lonely."
  2. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Check the inflation. Gold is up, and we do have a little gold in us, as well as other rare minerals. Gotta be more than 89 cents now.

    D'Snowth...I am trying hard to restrain the urge to snap here. I realize you weren't trying to be provocative (at least, I HOPE that's the case), but quoting Tesh...who quotes the worst sort of pop psychology tripe? Really?

    His quoted "reasons" are absolute balderdash. Are those perhaps reasons SOME women rush into marriage when they suspect the match isn't a good one? Possibly. I would argue the ECONOMY is the biggest single reason for bad marriages...followed closely by "the kid(s) need(s) a father." NOT some overromanticized "ideal true love" wish or hope. The only ladies I've ever seen who still take that silly Prince Charming outlook into a marriage tend to be young, undereducated, and unrealistic about LIFE in general, not simply love!

    And for the record, most women do NOT "absolutely live to have babies" -- what a dark-ages outlook! Women as baby machines! Do many want kids? Sure. And many also realize that a mate who will parent the kids properly is the most important factor in that equation...not whether the guy brings her roses just because!

    I'll leave it there.
  3. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    Well, heh, I'll say this. There's nothing wrong with a woman saying her most important ambition is to have a family. I mean when men say it, we call them sweet and sensitive. So why can't a woman say it? It doesn't mean she doesn't want a career. Just that she wants a balance between professional and personal life, which is pretty smart to me. ;)
  4. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Of course there's nothing wrong with that. But assuming that most DO, and further assuming they'll get into a bad marriage because of it, is insulting to the entire gender.
  5. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    Well I have seen it happen, though certainly not to "all women." A lot of young girls do have an idealized idea of what a marriage should be and ignore the warning signs when the wrong guy comes around.
  6. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    I fully believe there should be couples classes AND parenting classes, MANDATORY to all no matter race, class, gender, orientation, etc!

  7. CensoredAlso

    CensoredAlso Well-Known Member

    Plus everyone talks about how some women are naive, but what about the men that let them down? I'm generalizing here but a lot of men aren't taught to have anything resembling compassion for women. Or they are showered with praise at far too young an age which leads to an overblown ego. It has been postulated for instance that Charlie Sheen might have been a "sweeter person" if he hadn't had so much success at such a young age.
    newsmanfan likes this.
  8. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Enough ignorance to go around for everyone. Yayyyy!

  9. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    This has become such a fun thread, eh :laugh:?
  10. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    *Newsie warily eyes the Snowth stirring the ol' pot*

    MahnaMahna: Mahna mahna?
    Newsie: Shhh...I don't think he's done yet.
    *putting raincoat on and getting out umbrella just in case*

    D'Snowth likes this.
  11. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Yes, the stew stirring the ol' Snowth pot... I mean, the Snowth stew the ol' stir pot... I mean... never mind... ><
    newsmanfan likes this.
  12. beaker

    beaker Well-Known Member

    Many people, especially a lot of young women are brainwashed and programmed into what they should be attracted too. This sort of meme-gineering has been endemic to this ever increasing sickening culture for some time. Just go to any mall and you'll see both the advertising and people playing the role. And this is repeated in tv, film, magazines, commercials, advertisements on billboards and bus stops, through peers, etc. Women will often fall for a an alpha male/smooth talker even against her spidey sense, especially if he meets some of the choice aesthetic qualities they've been brainwashed with. It's no wonder though, so many women(including many young women barely out of high school) say how cynical and jaded they are with men and dating.

    Given most girls seem to have horror stories and a habit of falling for jerks, abusers and wishy washy types(seems to be a pandemic) evolutionarily speaking; maybe in time women will develop their spidey sense better. And on the flipside, I've known a lot of guys who have been taken for a ride by bipolar/manipulative/ultra moody women.

    As a hopeless romantic who has tried dating, my view is that it's best to be patient. Especially with the STD pandemic that is out there(most sexually active people whove been with more than a couple people within a couple year window could be carrying something)

    In mysterious ways that cannot be explained(only appreciated), fate/God/whatever you call it will bring you randomly with the person you're meant to be with. So fret not dreamers! Waiting, even a long time, is better than being stuck in an unhappy/lopsided relationship or stuck with an unwanted kid or STD.
    newsmanfan likes this.
  13. beaker

    beaker Well-Known Member

    Couldn't agree more. Many young men are instilled with this "player" predatory mindset, leaving a ruinous path of emotionally hurt and distraught young women without even a care.
  14. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    This week's topic rully speaks to me and Julio... the topic of friendship.

    Different people have different variations on the old saying, "The most important thing in life is...", and there are some out there who say the most important thing in life is a good friend. I suppose friendship is pretty important in life... after all, if you can't trust or confide in a friend, who can you do so with? You meet a lot of people in your life, especially when you're growing up, and often times, you become pretty chummy with the people you meet and get acquainted with, and you even consider some of those people to be your friends... but, how do you know when these people really are your friends? How do you know those same people really aren't your friends?

    It wasn't until I was grown up that I realized that there's a difference between friends and acquaintances, and it was then I realized just what it meant. Let's think about it this way: suppose you went to school with someone you were pretty chummy with, and as the last day of school draws closer, and you realize the two of you might not see each other again, you ask to exchange contact information (like e-mail addresses and such) to keep in touch... but how does that person respond? If this person's really your friend, he/she would probably agree to that and would want to maintain contact, right? But that person ends up telling you something along the lines of, "No, that's okay, we don't have to do that." What does that tell you? Exactly.

    Or, how about what seems to happen with myself, and Julio: suppose you have people in your life that you consider to be your friends, but those people actually avoid you, rather than acknowledge your presence... if these people are really your friends, why would they avoid you? What's the thinking behind that? Don't sound like much of a friend to me. People who call out to you, are happy to see you each time, always ready to hang out for a while, etc, now that seems like more of what friends would do, not act like you're invisible and pretend you don't exist.

    And that brings to mind a question... why would people even pretend to be your friends in the first place? That's something to ponder on, what are their motives? Do they feel sorry for you because you don't have a lot of friends anyway, or are they playing mind games with you, or do they actually see a potential friend in you but then decide they really don't like you but don't want to hurt your feelings? Lots of people can tell you they're your friend, but the only way you'd know for sure if that person is your friend is if they would hold you and let you die in their arms, rather than just let you lay there and bleed to death.

    I take issue with false friends, because DUDE, DAT AIN'T KEWL, MAN! I know I do have quite a few TRUE friends out there, and a lot of them are really important in my life, some of them are from this very place, some of them are from other places, but they're people I know I can count on; but at the same time, I've also had my share of false friends over the years, especially when I was in middle school, and after a while, you get pretty sick of seeing someone's true colors, and realize that hey, they couldn't give a flying crap about you.
  15. Sgt Floyd

    Sgt Floyd Well-Known Member

    I wonder if people are friends with me because they feel sorry for me...or they dont want to say they dont like me.

    I can honestly say I probably have 3 true friends, two of them being 500 miles away.

    Its because of these false friends I tend to...erm...avoid making friends. I have been hurt a lot, and I guess I'm scared that if I make friends they will hurt me. Its not a good way to be
  16. Frogpuppeteer

    Frogpuppeteer Well-Known Member

    i should say that from my point of view i understand life happens... people work, have families and everything and yea i have those friend but i give them there sapce to live their life...im sick of the friends who never want to do anything it seems or if i really need them guess what oh im to busy...or suddenly im not cool enough cause they have a girlfriend...something i personally dont do with my friends, if im dating someone i still make time for my friends

    but of course those same friends if they ask me to hang our and i trauley cannot get mad at me because the one day of the year they say hey lets do something i dont drop everything and go with them...im sorry but no

    i do find it funny that recently i did write on the wall of one friend who this past summer has taken time to invite me to stuff every now and then and i thanked him publicly and called him a true friend then low and behold who starts talking to me on a daily basis said friend who dropped me like a hat once he got a girlfirend
  17. Sgt Floyd

    Sgt Floyd Well-Known Member

    I know how that feels. I have mentioned her before, but I had a friend who got a boyfriend and suddenly I was thrown in the dirt. On the rare occasions I was good enough to talk to me, all she talked about was her boyfriend. She had no interest in what I was saying and somehow turned every single attempt of changing the subject into talking about him.

    And then there was the time we went out together and I blew off my then boyfriend to go out with her. All she did was text hers and ignore me. I forget why we went out. I think she invited me because we werent spending time together. Oh the irony.

    The last time I spoke to her was a year ago so yeah...
  18. Frogpuppeteer

    Frogpuppeteer Well-Known Member

    yea my friend currently does that

    i get the IM hey man wanna do something?

    and i say sure

    then while we "Hang out" all he does is text her
  19. D'Snowth

    D'Snowth Well-Known Member

    Yes, don't you just hate when that happens? When people like that randomly bring up their boyfriend or girlfriend up in the conversation for no reason other than just to talk about them? Remember that episode of I LOve Lucy where it was a "race" to whip out baby pictures between the Ricardos and the Applebees? I've been on the receiving end of that once where a friend just suddenly started showing me pics of her boyfriend and gushing about how cute and wonderful and stuff he is. :smirk:

    And while you're right Julio, life and such does happen, but there are those times where those people do have a little bit of freetime, and you wish to use it to catch up and such, only to be ignored and avoided like the plague and such.
  20. newsmanfan

    newsmanfan Well-Known Member

    Uh, News Flash: a LOT of people are SHALLOW! :news:

    Sorry you guys have dealt with "casual friends" like that. I'm extremely cautious about getting to know anyone or allowing myself to be known...just too many sociopaths out there who seem to perceive any "relationship", including friendship, as being exclusively for their benefit and at their convenience. Not worth my time...or yours.

    I think the information age, and particularly the Faceplant fad, has encouraged this kind of shallowness and narcissism to the point where people will actually look oddly at you if you believe friendship means a bit more than "hanging out" and trading texts once in a while. People would rather the universe revolved around them. We've become a society of whining, needy children utterly without depth of emotional maturity. Sad.

    Test of friendship? Throw some of your personal philosophy at the other person, see how they react. NEVER assume someone who just "hangs out" with you is a friend. More likely, they're bored, and assume you are too; the truly narcissistic ones will actually think of that level of noncommitment as "friendship"!

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