Fozzie's joke: "New York is so crowded, even the cemeteries have standing room only!"

STAGE CURTAIN

Kermit promises to not make fun of Paul Williams' size even though they will be making him an honorary Muppet.

MUSICAL NUMBER: "ALL OF ME"

A monster serenades another as he rips off his body parts and gives them to the other one. ("Hey, you wanna put MY chest in YOUR chest?") [This number, done in one shot, took 22 takes.]

BACKSTAGE

Fozzie, wisely lacking confidence in his monologue on the War of 1812, lets Scooter talk him into doing the classic Telephone Pole Bit. There's just two snags; it's a duo scene with Scooter and Fozzie's playing the telephone pole.

STAGE CURTAIN

Kermit introduces "one of the most talented people in the business, Mr. Paul Williams."

MUSICAL NUMBER: "OLD FASHIONED LOVE SONG"

As Paul sings, Muppet versions of him pop out of the radio providing three part harmony. (And you thought Kermit was kidding about making him a Muppet!)

BALCONY

MUPPET LABS [Debut]

Scientist Dr. Bunsen Honeydew introduces the labs' new All Purpose Tenderizer which keeps dishes from breaking and allows them to be folded up and snuggled with. ("Ooh, it sets me all a-quiver!")

ROWLF'S POETRY CORNER

Rowlf recites an ode to "Silence", which in typical Muppet fashion becomes quite loud as other Muppets wander onstage partaking in the activities alluded to in the poem.

ONSTAGE

Paul admits he has a special motive for being on "The Muppet Show"; so that he can be the tallest person in the cast...but then he meets Sweetums, Thog (from The Great Santa Claus Switch and The Muppets Valentine Show), and a Mutation.

BACKSTAGE

Fozzie, unsure what to expect, practices by method acting as a telephone pole. Hilda doubts anyone would confuse a bear with a pole until an electrician lays telephone wire over his nose.

AT THE DANCE

UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: "I'M IN LOVE WITH A BIG BLUE FROG"

Mary Louise sings a charming song about her frog beau ("The neighbors are against it and it's clear to me/And it's probably clear to you/They think the value of their property will go right down/If the family next door is blue") backed by a frog chorus including Kermit and Robin (from "The Frog Prince"). [And no, while some of the frogs are blue, none are particularly bigger than the others. This song appears on the original Muppet Show soundtrack.]

BALCONY

Statler and Waldorf mock the frog chorus' "Grump grop grump grop, ribbit ribbit ribbit's."

TALK SPOT

Kermit and Paul discuss famous short people in history including Wally Blatner, inventor of the elevator shoe which Paul's wearing. ("Going up!")

BACKSTAGE

For a lousy comedian, Fozzie's a very convincing actor - a woodpecker knocks away at his head!

SKETCH

Beautiful Day Monster alerts his travel agent (Paul) that he wishes to go to Pittsburgh. When none of the travel options fit the monster's budget, Paul drops a 5000 pound weight on him and mails him off.

TALKING HOUSES

STAGE CURTAIN

Sam brings on "my kind of people, Wayne and Wanda."

WAYNE & WANDA

As Wayne saws Wanda in half, she attempts to warble "You Do Something to Me".

NEWSFLASH

The Newsman interviews retired shoe salesman Arnold Stockton (Paul) about an extraordinary event which turns out to be a total non-story.

BACKSTAGE

Fozzie, having just learned what the Telephone Pole Bit is, is convinced the pair will die onstage, a paranoia further confirmed by the vultures lurking about backstage.

STAGE CURTAIN

Kermit introduces the comedy classic.

FOZZIE'S COMEDY SPOT

[Mike Oznowicsky is a reference to Frank Oz' puppeteer father, Mike Oznowicz.]

MUSICAL NUMBER: "SAD SONG"

Backed by Rowlf on piano, Floyd on bass, Animal on drums, and Zoot on sax, Paul sings his hit with a chorus of Muppets.

STAGE CURTAIN

Paul assures Kermit he loved every minute of the show until the big monsters come back out.

CLOSING THEME

Guide Written by
D. W. McKim and Phillip Chapman

With contributions from
Jogchem Jalink and Dave Ebersole