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Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book(The scene is the office of Ernie and Bert's apartment, which will be the new addition to it. Bert is standing still while Ernie hums while working on his web site in progress.)
BERT: Almost finished, Ernie?
ERNIE: Don't move yet! Stand still.
BERT: Gosh, Ernie, I just can't wait to find out...
ERNIE: Don't say anything yet, Bert. I'm working on my site in progress.
BERT: Oh but what will it feature? I just can't wait to see it!
ERNIE: I can't tell you yet but stand still. I'm almost done...just a few more touches. (previews site for a few seconds) I'm just going to publish it right now. (publishes his site) And it is...finished! All done with my site, Bert!
BERT: Wow! Can I see what you worked on?
ERNIE: Oh sure, Bert. Go ahead.
BERT: Oh, boy! Let me see it!
(Ernie shows Bert his web site he created. It turns out to be a photo album that has pictures of Bert (in different clothes) and some other Muppets of The Muppet Show and Sesame Street connected with the images of the senior year of high school.)
ERNIE: Bert, the site you requested is right here on the web! It's the photo album of you, Bert. What do you think?
(long pause. Bert looks at Ernie's site for a few seconds. He doesn't look happy.)
BERT: Ernie...Ernie...
ERNIE: Yes, Bert?
BERT: Do you know what I think of your site?
ERNIE: Hmm?
BERT: Come here. Come closer.
ERNIE: Hmm?
BERT: (getting angry) That's the worst site you ever created!
ERNIE: That means you don't like it, Bert?
BERT: No I don't! The reason I don't like about your site is that all of your images you uploaded while worked on them with don't look like me!
ERNIE: They don't, Bert?
BERT: No they don't! I want you to examine the differences between the real me and the images you uploaded to your site. Take a real close look. What do see there?
ERNIE: Oh, Bert, I just uploaded the images back you were in high school, right?
BERT: Ernie, do you think I attended high school before?
ERNIE: Well...
BERT: Of course I don't attend high school and I'm not a high school senior! Oh and, uh, and I saw that you designed me in different clothes. Do you think I wear different clothing every day?
ERNIE: So what?
BERT: Well, I don't wear different clothes every day! I wear the same clothes every day, Ernie! My shirt, my beige pants, argyle socks and brown shoes. I've got tons of the same pairs for them!
ERNIE: Hey Bert, I also uploaded pictures of you as one of the five nominees the students vote for as the Homecoming King! You were great!
BERT: Ernie, don't you understand that I don't attend high school?
ERNIE: Well,...
BERT: Well I'm NOT one of the five nominees to be the Homecoming King at high school!
ERNIE: Gee I must've been thinking of someone else from high school.
BERT: Ernie, I saw that you uploaded fake images of me with some of our friends. Take a look at one of them. What made you think I was hanging around with the Swedish Chef on that photo right there?
ERNIE: Do you hang around with the Swedish Chef, Bert?
BERT: I don't HANG around with the Swedish Chef! He's a man who speaks some weird language, does a lot of cooking and appears on The Muppet Show! We don't meet each other as we Muppets of The Muppet Show and Sesame Street do stuff together, Ernie.
ERNIE: Hey, wait, Bert, my site's also got a couple of images of both of us with Oscar!
BERT: Ernie, do you think we've been together with Oscar almost all the time?
ERNIE: Well...
BERT: Of course not, Ernie! He's a grouch and lives in a trash can next door to our apartment! Now how did you come up with those silly images you uploaded to your site?
ERNIE: Well, by using my Macromedia Photoshop program, Bert. I use that to scan some images of you so I can create a photo album of you.
BERT: Ernie, you also uploaded images from a 2006 high school yearbook and I think you mixed them together on that site. And you know what, Ernie?
ERNIE: Hmm?
BERT: Come in closer. I'll tell you.
ERNIE: (being close to Bert's ear) Hmm?
BERT: (yelling) YOU RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE! YOU REALLY MUST KNOW THAT I'M THE GUY WHO WEARS THE SAME CLOTHES EVERY DAY! THE GUY WHO LOVES TO GO TO THE LIBRARY! THE GUY WHO LOVES TO COLLECT PAPER CLIPS AND BOTTLE CAPS! THE GUY WHOSE FAVORITE FOOD IS OATMEAL! THE GUY WHO LOVES PIGEONS! ERNIE, YOU-
ERNIE: Easy, easy. Don't get too excited, Bert. I can make it better for you.
BERT: Really?
ERNIE: Of course, Bert! That's what friends are for! Now come in closer...
(as we see the back the computer as for now, Ernie begins to undress Bert.)
BERT: Hey! What are you doing?
ERNIE: (humming, while dressing Bert into different clothes)
BERT: You said you supposed to make your site better....(Ernie is still humming) Ernie---!
(as Ernie finishes humming, he reveals Bert in different clothes-a T-shirt, long pants and sneakers!)
ERNIE: There you go. (to the viewer) Now you must know, I mixed the images of my ol' buddy Bert and the images I scanned from a 2006 high school year book to make him look silly. Now if he doesn't like it, I made him dress the same as one of the images I uploaded to my site! (remarkable laugh) Keeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
(ending music. Bert sighs.)
BERT: Almost finished, Ernie?
ERNIE: Don't move yet! Stand still.
BERT: Gosh, Ernie, I just can't wait to find out...
ERNIE: Don't say anything yet, Bert. I'm working on my site in progress.
BERT: Oh but what will it feature? I just can't wait to see it!
ERNIE: I can't tell you yet but stand still. I'm almost done...just a few more touches. (previews site for a few seconds) I'm just going to publish it right now. (publishes his site) And it is...finished! All done with my site, Bert!
BERT: Wow! Can I see what you worked on?
ERNIE: Oh sure, Bert. Go ahead.
BERT: Oh, boy! Let me see it!
(Ernie shows Bert his web site he created. It turns out to be a photo album that has pictures of Bert (in different clothes) and some other Muppets of The Muppet Show and Sesame Street connected with the images of the senior year of high school.)
ERNIE: Bert, the site you requested is right here on the web! It's the photo album of you, Bert. What do you think?
(long pause. Bert looks at Ernie's site for a few seconds. He doesn't look happy.)
BERT: Ernie...Ernie...
ERNIE: Yes, Bert?
BERT: Do you know what I think of your site?
ERNIE: Hmm?
BERT: Come here. Come closer.
ERNIE: Hmm?
BERT: (getting angry) That's the worst site you ever created!
ERNIE: That means you don't like it, Bert?
BERT: No I don't! The reason I don't like about your site is that all of your images you uploaded while worked on them with don't look like me!
ERNIE: They don't, Bert?
BERT: No they don't! I want you to examine the differences between the real me and the images you uploaded to your site. Take a real close look. What do see there?
ERNIE: Oh, Bert, I just uploaded the images back you were in high school, right?
BERT: Ernie, do you think I attended high school before?
ERNIE: Well...
BERT: Of course I don't attend high school and I'm not a high school senior! Oh and, uh, and I saw that you designed me in different clothes. Do you think I wear different clothing every day?
ERNIE: So what?
BERT: Well, I don't wear different clothes every day! I wear the same clothes every day, Ernie! My shirt, my beige pants, argyle socks and brown shoes. I've got tons of the same pairs for them!
ERNIE: Hey Bert, I also uploaded pictures of you as one of the five nominees the students vote for as the Homecoming King! You were great!
BERT: Ernie, don't you understand that I don't attend high school?
ERNIE: Well,...
BERT: Well I'm NOT one of the five nominees to be the Homecoming King at high school!
ERNIE: Gee I must've been thinking of someone else from high school.
BERT: Ernie, I saw that you uploaded fake images of me with some of our friends. Take a look at one of them. What made you think I was hanging around with the Swedish Chef on that photo right there?
ERNIE: Do you hang around with the Swedish Chef, Bert?
BERT: I don't HANG around with the Swedish Chef! He's a man who speaks some weird language, does a lot of cooking and appears on The Muppet Show! We don't meet each other as we Muppets of The Muppet Show and Sesame Street do stuff together, Ernie.
ERNIE: Hey, wait, Bert, my site's also got a couple of images of both of us with Oscar!
BERT: Ernie, do you think we've been together with Oscar almost all the time?
ERNIE: Well...
BERT: Of course not, Ernie! He's a grouch and lives in a trash can next door to our apartment! Now how did you come up with those silly images you uploaded to your site?
ERNIE: Well, by using my Macromedia Photoshop program, Bert. I use that to scan some images of you so I can create a photo album of you.
BERT: Ernie, you also uploaded images from a 2006 high school yearbook and I think you mixed them together on that site. And you know what, Ernie?
ERNIE: Hmm?
BERT: Come in closer. I'll tell you.
ERNIE: (being close to Bert's ear) Hmm?
BERT: (yelling) YOU RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE! YOU REALLY MUST KNOW THAT I'M THE GUY WHO WEARS THE SAME CLOTHES EVERY DAY! THE GUY WHO LOVES TO GO TO THE LIBRARY! THE GUY WHO LOVES TO COLLECT PAPER CLIPS AND BOTTLE CAPS! THE GUY WHOSE FAVORITE FOOD IS OATMEAL! THE GUY WHO LOVES PIGEONS! ERNIE, YOU-
ERNIE: Easy, easy. Don't get too excited, Bert. I can make it better for you.
BERT: Really?
ERNIE: Of course, Bert! That's what friends are for! Now come in closer...
(as we see the back the computer as for now, Ernie begins to undress Bert.)
BERT: Hey! What are you doing?
ERNIE: (humming, while dressing Bert into different clothes)
BERT: You said you supposed to make your site better....(Ernie is still humming) Ernie---!
(as Ernie finishes humming, he reveals Bert in different clothes-a T-shirt, long pants and sneakers!)
ERNIE: There you go. (to the viewer) Now you must know, I mixed the images of my ol' buddy Bert and the images I scanned from a 2006 high school year book to make him look silly. Now if he doesn't like it, I made him dress the same as one of the images I uploaded to my site! (remarkable laugh) Keeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!
(ending music. Bert sighs.)
