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In honor of the Muppets recieving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, enjoy this fan fic.
Part 1.1
(The setting is on-location where the Hollywood Walk of Fame is. The street is filled with Muppets, while Walter is at a podeum).
Walter: Well, the Muppets have all gotten their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In fact, since I am a Muppet now, I'm among the Hollywood greats who have recieved such an honor. Tonight, I am saluting the Muppets. All of them, and they are all here. (cut to shots of each character as Walter says their names) Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Pepe, Scooter, Animal, Floyd, Bunsen and Beaker, Statler and Waldorf, Rizzo and the rats, Robin and the frogs, Camilla and the chickens, Bean and the bunnies, the penguins, Mahna Mahna and the Snowths, Janice, Rowlf, Link Hogthrob, Sweetums, Sam the Eagle, Dr. Teeth, '80s Robot, Pops, The Swedish Chef, Bobo, Uncle Deadly, Thog, Zoot, Wayne and Wanda, Dr. Strangepork, The Moopets, Droop, Lips, Carl, Seymour, Clifford, Johnny and Sal, Dr. Phil van Neuter and Mulch, The Newsman, Annie Sue, Miss Mousey, Nigel the conductor, Nigel the director, Louis Kazagger, Angelo, Crazy Harry, Lew Zealand, Beauregard, Digit, Leon, Doglion, Angus McGonacle, and many, many more (cut to a wide shot of many characters). (Walter is now a little out of breath) I've spotted every Muppet I can think of, so let's get started!
(The Muppets all cheer)
(The title card appears, followed by a clip montage, an instrumental version of "Life's a Happy Song" plays -- I'll list what clips appear in a later post)
Part 1.2
Walter: Let's start off by honoring some of the best-known Muppets, starting with the one an donly Kermit the Frog! YAAAAAYYYY (Walter waves his arms like Kermit)
(An instrumental version of Bein' Green plays as Kermit enters the podeum. Audience cheers)
Kermit: Thank you, thank you. It is an honor to be here.
Pepe: PFFT! You've had your own star for many years, okay...
Kermit: (feeling a little guilt) Uh, yeah...
Walter: Kermit, you've led a great life.
Kermit: Yes, I have. Ever since mu humble beginnings in the swamp.
(clips from Kermit's Swamp Years play as Kermit talks)
Kermit: I grew up in the swamp with my friends, Googles, Croaker, Horace, Arnie, and Blotch, not to mention Pilgrim.
(A clip of Kermit's first meeting with Pilgrim is shown, without Kermit narrarating)
Kermit: (narrarating continues) Two interesting things happened when I first went outside the swamp. For one, if not for me animals would have never talked to humans.
(Kermit stops narrarating as a clip of Kermit talking to Dr. Crashman is shown)
Kermit: (narrarating continues) And I went to the movies for the first time.
(Kermit's narraration stops as a clip of Kermit telling Croaker he wants to be in the movies is shown)
(Cut to Miss Piggy watching the footage)
Miss Piggy: At the Oscars you said your first trip to the movies was at the drive thru.
Kermit: (nervously) Uhhhh... Really?
(Cut to montage of footage from The Muppet Movie)
Kermit: (narrarating over footage) But then, a Hollywood agent resembling Dom DeLuise told me that a Hollywood studio was looking for frogs wishing to become rich and famous, so I headed for Hollywood, along the way meeting many of my friends and future co-stars, including Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Camilla, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, Bunsen and Beaker, Sweetums, Rowlf, and Scooter, and the rest is history.
(cut back to original footage)
Walter: Your story is just as fascinating now as it was when I first heard about it.
Kermit: Thank you, Walter.
Walter: And now, let's show your famous tap dancing number!
(cut to "Happy Feet")
Fozzie: Bravo, Kermit!
Link: Very impressive!
(Miss Piggy enters podeum)
Miss Piggy: You can dance well, but you won't dance with moi?
(Kermit gulps)
(cut to "I Won't Dance")
Walter: And now we're honoring Miss Piggy!
Miss Piggy: Naturally.
Walter: In your time, you have sung a great many songs.
Miss Piggy: I know.
Walter: Here's some of the better ones!
(Clip montage includes: "What Now My Love?", "Pig Calypso", and "Snacksercise")
(the pigs cheer wildly)
Walter: Talk about going hog wild.
Miss Piggy: WHAT?
Walter: I mean, uh, let's show a clip from Pigs in Space!
(cut to Pigs in Space clip involving mid-course correction)
Walter: And how about Vets Hospital for good measure?
(Beauregard walks by with measuring tape)
Beauregard: I'm measuring as best as I can.
Miss Piggy: Oh, brother... Here's one of the better Vets Hospital segments.
(cut to Vets Hospital with a cow patient)
Fozzie: Aww, that was so udder-able. Ahhh, ge ***? Udder? Ahhhh...
Miss Piggy: But one of my greatest theatrical moments ever was my wedding with Kermit.
Kermit: Piggy, we didn't really get married!
Miss Piggy: The evidence suggests otherwise.
(cut to Kermit and Piggy's wedding scene in The Muppets Take Manhattan, starting when the minister shows up)
Walter: And now here's Fozzie Bear!
(Fozzie's theme music plays as he walks to the stage)
Fozzie: Wocka wocka! In my career, I have told many funny jokes...
Statler: No, you haven't!
Waldorf: In fact, they're un-bear-able!
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Walter: Well, I think your great.
Fozzie: Great! Here's some of my best jokes.
Clip Montage:
(Gonzo's theme music plays as he enters the stage. The chickens applaud)
Gonzo: Thank you, thank you.
Walter: You've done some, uh, interesting acts over the years.
Gonzo: Yeah, but I'm always improving.
Statler: Keep trying! You might just make it!
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Walter: Here is a montage of Gonzo's best acts!
Clip Montage
Gonzo: Yeah, but Kermit won't always let me do my acts.
(cut to: Kermit suggesting Gonzo get a manager, from the Charles Aznavour episode, and Gonzo pitching his dancing cheese act, from the Steve Martin episode)
Pepe: Am I next, okay?
Rizzo: No, I'm next!
Beaker: Mee mee mee!
Lew Zealand: Well, it's got to be me.
Animal: NEXT! NEXT! NEXT!
Walter: Well, sadly, as much as I'd like to shwocase every Muppet, we don't really have time. So here's a quick montage of all the other important characters!
Clip Montage:
Behemoth: I beg to differ! (Eats Bean)
Announcer: When we get back, we'll show more clips!
Part 1.1
(The setting is on-location where the Hollywood Walk of Fame is. The street is filled with Muppets, while Walter is at a podeum).
Walter: Well, the Muppets have all gotten their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In fact, since I am a Muppet now, I'm among the Hollywood greats who have recieved such an honor. Tonight, I am saluting the Muppets. All of them, and they are all here. (cut to shots of each character as Walter says their names) Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Pepe, Scooter, Animal, Floyd, Bunsen and Beaker, Statler and Waldorf, Rizzo and the rats, Robin and the frogs, Camilla and the chickens, Bean and the bunnies, the penguins, Mahna Mahna and the Snowths, Janice, Rowlf, Link Hogthrob, Sweetums, Sam the Eagle, Dr. Teeth, '80s Robot, Pops, The Swedish Chef, Bobo, Uncle Deadly, Thog, Zoot, Wayne and Wanda, Dr. Strangepork, The Moopets, Droop, Lips, Carl, Seymour, Clifford, Johnny and Sal, Dr. Phil van Neuter and Mulch, The Newsman, Annie Sue, Miss Mousey, Nigel the conductor, Nigel the director, Louis Kazagger, Angelo, Crazy Harry, Lew Zealand, Beauregard, Digit, Leon, Doglion, Angus McGonacle, and many, many more (cut to a wide shot of many characters). (Walter is now a little out of breath) I've spotted every Muppet I can think of, so let's get started!
(The Muppets all cheer)
(The title card appears, followed by a clip montage, an instrumental version of "Life's a Happy Song" plays -- I'll list what clips appear in a later post)
Part 1.2
Walter: Let's start off by honoring some of the best-known Muppets, starting with the one an donly Kermit the Frog! YAAAAAYYYY (Walter waves his arms like Kermit)
(An instrumental version of Bein' Green plays as Kermit enters the podeum. Audience cheers)
Kermit: Thank you, thank you. It is an honor to be here.
Pepe: PFFT! You've had your own star for many years, okay...
Kermit: (feeling a little guilt) Uh, yeah...
Walter: Kermit, you've led a great life.
Kermit: Yes, I have. Ever since mu humble beginnings in the swamp.
(clips from Kermit's Swamp Years play as Kermit talks)
Kermit: I grew up in the swamp with my friends, Googles, Croaker, Horace, Arnie, and Blotch, not to mention Pilgrim.
(A clip of Kermit's first meeting with Pilgrim is shown, without Kermit narrarating)
Kermit: (narrarating continues) Two interesting things happened when I first went outside the swamp. For one, if not for me animals would have never talked to humans.
(Kermit stops narrarating as a clip of Kermit talking to Dr. Crashman is shown)
Kermit: (narrarating continues) And I went to the movies for the first time.
(Kermit's narraration stops as a clip of Kermit telling Croaker he wants to be in the movies is shown)
(Cut to Miss Piggy watching the footage)
Miss Piggy: At the Oscars you said your first trip to the movies was at the drive thru.
Kermit: (nervously) Uhhhh... Really?
(Cut to montage of footage from The Muppet Movie)
Kermit: (narrarating over footage) But then, a Hollywood agent resembling Dom DeLuise told me that a Hollywood studio was looking for frogs wishing to become rich and famous, so I headed for Hollywood, along the way meeting many of my friends and future co-stars, including Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Camilla, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, Bunsen and Beaker, Sweetums, Rowlf, and Scooter, and the rest is history.
(cut back to original footage)
Walter: Your story is just as fascinating now as it was when I first heard about it.
Kermit: Thank you, Walter.
Walter: And now, let's show your famous tap dancing number!
(cut to "Happy Feet")
Fozzie: Bravo, Kermit!
Link: Very impressive!
(Miss Piggy enters podeum)
Miss Piggy: You can dance well, but you won't dance with moi?
(Kermit gulps)
(cut to "I Won't Dance")
Walter: And now we're honoring Miss Piggy!
Miss Piggy: Naturally.
Walter: In your time, you have sung a great many songs.
Miss Piggy: I know.
Walter: Here's some of the better ones!
(Clip montage includes: "What Now My Love?", "Pig Calypso", and "Snacksercise")
(the pigs cheer wildly)
Walter: Talk about going hog wild.
Miss Piggy: WHAT?
Walter: I mean, uh, let's show a clip from Pigs in Space!
(cut to Pigs in Space clip involving mid-course correction)
Walter: And how about Vets Hospital for good measure?
(Beauregard walks by with measuring tape)
Beauregard: I'm measuring as best as I can.
Miss Piggy: Oh, brother... Here's one of the better Vets Hospital segments.
(cut to Vets Hospital with a cow patient)
Fozzie: Aww, that was so udder-able. Ahhh, ge ***? Udder? Ahhhh...
Miss Piggy: But one of my greatest theatrical moments ever was my wedding with Kermit.
Kermit: Piggy, we didn't really get married!
Miss Piggy: The evidence suggests otherwise.
(cut to Kermit and Piggy's wedding scene in The Muppets Take Manhattan, starting when the minister shows up)
Walter: And now here's Fozzie Bear!
(Fozzie's theme music plays as he walks to the stage)
Fozzie: Wocka wocka! In my career, I have told many funny jokes...
Statler: No, you haven't!
Waldorf: In fact, they're un-bear-able!
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Walter: Well, I think your great.
Fozzie: Great! Here's some of my best jokes.
Clip Montage:
- Fozzie asks, "what do you get when you cross the atlantic with the titanic? (from the Andy Williams episode)
- Fozzie tells his "fat sailor" joke (from The Muppet Movie)
- Fozzie tells his joke about an assaulted peanut (from Miss Piggy's Hollywood)
- Fozzie jokes that Gonzo's so dumb when he graduated he got a pension (from one of his openings... Can't remember the episode)
- Fozzie tells his "ice cream" joke (from Hey You're as Funny as Fozzie Bear)
(Gonzo's theme music plays as he enters the stage. The chickens applaud)
Gonzo: Thank you, thank you.
Walter: You've done some, uh, interesting acts over the years.
Gonzo: Yeah, but I'm always improving.
Statler: Keep trying! You might just make it!
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Walter: Here is a montage of Gonzo's best acts!
Clip Montage
- Gonzo eats a tire (from TMS with Juliet Prowse)
- Gonzo wrestles a brick (from TMS with Edgar Bergen)
- Gonzo's rocket act (from MT with Tony Bennett)
- Gonzo's water skiing act (from MTM)
- Gonzo balances a piano and recites the seven times tables (from TMS with Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge)
- Gonzo and Rizzo's incredible discoveries (from MT with John Goodman)
Gonzo: Yeah, but Kermit won't always let me do my acts.
(cut to: Kermit suggesting Gonzo get a manager, from the Charles Aznavour episode, and Gonzo pitching his dancing cheese act, from the Steve Martin episode)
Pepe: Am I next, okay?
Rizzo: No, I'm next!
Beaker: Mee mee mee!
Lew Zealand: Well, it's got to be me.
Animal: NEXT! NEXT! NEXT!
Walter: Well, sadly, as much as I'd like to shwocase every Muppet, we don't really have time. So here's a quick montage of all the other important characters!
Clip Montage:
- Scooter has to imagine the audience naked (The Muppets)
- Tenderly (TMS with Avery Scrieber)
- Muppet Labs: fireproof paper (TMS with Leslie Uggum)
- The Swedish Chef makes pancakes (TMS with Rita Moreno)
- Rowlf sings "When" (TMS with Peter Sellers)
- Pepe performs Fozzie's comedy act (It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie)
- Clifford fakes an injury in order to get a kiss from Paula Abdul
- Link sings "Sonny Boy" (TMS with Lou Rawls)
- Sam gives his speech on nudity (TMS with Nancy Walker)
- Lew Zealand introduces himself to Kermit (TMS with Marissa Berensen)
- Robin and Sweetums sing "Two Lost Souls" (TMS with John Cleese)
- Johnny's Pasta Playhouse (MT, The Cameo Show)
- Bean Bunny's workout video (JHH with Smokey Robinson)
Behemoth: I beg to differ! (Eats Bean)
Announcer: When we get back, we'll show more clips!
