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TMS w/ Kirk Douglas

D

Dil

Guest
Kirk Douglas played Ned Land in Disney's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

STYLE: Early Season 2 (circa Milton Berle, Rich Little)

PLOT: The muppets can't use the theater, because they are taking a trip in the C.L.A.M. (Carlaquiatic Lagoonal Aquatical Marinicatilator), a submarine.

COLD OPENING/INSIDE ENTRANCE OF THE C.L.A.M.

(Scooter knocks on the entrance door.)

SCOOTER: "Kirk Douglas, Kirk Douglas! 15 seconds 'til subrarine starts."

(Kirk opens the entrance door and enters the C.L.A.M.)

KIRK: "Hello."

SCOOTER: "Uh, hello, Mr. Douglas. And uh, bad news."

KIRK: "What is it?"

SCOOTER: "W-we can't use the muppet theater."

(Kirk closes the entrance door.)

KIRK: "Where should we use?"

(The C.L.A.M. starts, and goes underwater.)

SCOOTER: "The Carlaquiatic Lagoonal Aquatical Marinicatilator, or C.L.A.M. for short."

KIRK: "Hmm, this reminds me of something."

OPENING THEME

(This takes place in the passenger room.)

KERMIT: "It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star Mr. Kirk Douglas! MUSIC!"

(The Muppet Show Theme plays.)

(The female (5 whatnots, Janice, Miss Piggy, & YouKnow Bird) are on the left seats as the male (Sam, Link, 3 whatnots, The Swedish Chef, & 2 frackles) are on the right seats.)

FEMALES:
It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights,
it's time to meet the muppets undersea at the C.L.A.M.

MALES:
It's time to make up music, let's hope we do it right.

KERMIT:
It's time to get things started...

MUPPETS:
On the most aquatical celebratical...

FOZZIE:
Muppetical Boppitical...

(The muppets, except Fozzie pops down.)

FOZZIE:
This is what we... uh, where is everybody? OK, this is what I call the Muppet Shoowwww!

GONZO: "This is going to be terrific, Fozzie!"

(Gonzo blows the horn, a torpedo comes out.)

GONZO: "Sorry."

That's the first part. I'll do the rest next time.
 
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