TMS outline- Terry-Thomas!

[Princeton]

Terry-Thomas was an actor best known for his snarky British accent and trademark gap between his two front teeth (that’s why there’s a gap between his first and last name). My favorite role of his was Algernon Hawthorn in "It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World", but he is probably best known for providing the voice of Sir Hiss in Disney’s "Robin Hood". He was offered many parts on both televison and film in the ‘70's but due to his affliction of Parkinson’s disease (which he lost the battle with in 1990) he had to decline them all, so the odds are he wouldn’t have been up to doing TMS. But, all the same, I think he would’ve been wonderful on TMS, so his wonderful spirit lives on in this outline.

STYLE: (LATE 3RD SEASON, CIRCA ROGER MILLER EP)

Cold Opening

Scooter: Terry-Thomas? Terry-Thomas? 15 seconds to curtain, Mr. Thomas!
Terry: Thank you, Scooter.
Scooter (looks at cactus sitting on table): Wow, that’s a neat looking cactus!
Terry: Yes, it’s a souvenir from when I was in "Mad, Mad World"; my character collected things like that and I myself thought this one was rather pretty, so the director let me take it home. In fact, it’s proved to be my good luck charm.
Scooter (warily): Right. Well, like I said, you better get ready for the show!

Gonzo: blows trumpet, lobster banditos chase after him, firing their guns.

Opening Number: Jugband sings "Kisses Sweeter Than Wine".

Backstage: Scooter tells Kermit about Terry’s cactus.
Kermit: Oh, that’s nice.
Scooter: Well, don’t you see, Boss? Terry said it’s his good luck charm.
Kermit: Yeah, so?
Scooter (annoyed): So, if something were to happen to it, he’d be upset.
Kermit: What exactly are you trying to say, Scooter?
Scooter: I’m saying, what if Gonzo gets hold of it? He’s into that kinda weird stuff, you know.
Kermit: Oh, now I see what you’re saying. Well, rest assured, Scooter, I’ll make sure nobody, especially Gonzo, gets to it.

Muppet Labs: Stabproof Lemons. Beaker stabs one with a knife and tries to pull it out. But the lemon holds onto it and continually bangs it on the table (with Beaker still holding on!)

Song: In a park setting, Terry and various Whatnots sing"I Was Strolling Through the Park One Day".

Backstage: Terry approaches Kermit and tells him that his cactus is missing. Kermit says "Not to worry, Terry; I think I have a pretty good idea where it is".

Muppet Sports: Porcupine Grooming

UK Skit: In a beach setting, The Gills Brothers sing "Under The Boardwalk".

Dressing Room: Terry is sitting in his dressing room when Gonzo comes in. Gonzo gives the cactus back and says "It’s just that I lost my golden anvil and I needed something to take its place". Terry says "Not to worry, old chap; you can have my onion flavored chewing gum. I like it, but after I chew it, I think I’m the Archduke Ferdinand".

Closing Number: In an old-time nightclub setting, Terry and some Muppets sing "Our Boys Will Shine Tonight".

Closing Theme

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Fun, I liked it.

 

[MartyMuppets]

Ah yes. I had a feeling I knew about Terry-Thomas from somewhere and when you mentioned his role in Robin Hood (Disney version) I remembered.

I love the subtil running gag involving the cactus theme. Porcupines and stabbing lemon with a knife.

I was thinking Statler and Waldorf could say something at the end like.
Waldorf: Well. Are you coming home now?
Statler: No I can't.
Waldorf: Why not?
Statler: My feet have got pins and needles in them.

Good work Brian.

 

[Gorgon Heap]

I was thinking Statler and Waldorf could say something at the end like.
Waldorf: Well. Are you coming home now?
Statler: No I can't.
Waldorf: Why not?
Statler: My feet have got pins and needles in them.

Or, after the Muppet Sports sketch with the porcupine grooming:
S: "Well, what did you think of that sketch?"
W: "I was on pins and needles the whole time!"
S & W: (laughter)

Love the Archduke Ferdinand line. The sketches are all good. Agree with Marty about the subtle running cactus theme with Muppet Labs and Muppet Sports- perhaps Muppet News can be added to this?

Cold opening lacks punch. Generally speaking, if the Muppets used a cactus in a scene, someone would get punctured with it. Could be Scooter, could be someone else. Maybe a thief tries to take it and pokes his hand.

You could flesh out the backstage scenes so you can end them on a punchline.

Rather than having Gonzo return the cactus in the dressing room scene, perhaps he could do his act using the cactus instead of the anvil.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole