TMS Outline:Mel Blanc

[Pug Lover]

The setting for this episode outline is Season 3-1978/79.

BRIEF OPENNING
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Scooter:"Mel Blanc,fifteen seconds 'till curtian Mel."

Mel Blanc:"Thank you."(his dressing room all decorated with Looney Tunes memorabilia)

Scooter:"Oh and by the way sir,this package was just delivered to you."(hands Mel Blanc a fair sized box)

Mel Blanc:"Oh why thank you."(opens it up)

(Three white and grey rabbit muppets spring out of box>(in unison)"Eh what's up doc?"

Mel Blanc:"I guess there's no escaping that wascally wabbit."

OPENNING THEME
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Gonzo's horn makes the sound of a lady screaming,and scares him half to death.

OPENNING NUMBER
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Muppet version of The Andrews Sisters perform"The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy",with Zoot as the song's title character.

Waldorf:"Those war songs really make me feel old."

Statler:"They're so bad,they actually make me wanna watch the rest of this crummy show."
(Both laugh)

BACKSTAGE
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Kermit:"Beautiful number.Very well done."

One of the Andrew Sister muppets:"Does that mean you'll pay us a little extra?"

Kermit:"No."

Second Andrew Sister muppet:"Well we've been performing long before you were even born ya'know."

Third Andrew Sister muppet:"Oh please.Whatta'you expect from a frog?"
(All three leave in a huff.)

Sam:"Kermit,about this Mel Blanc.I've known my share of wierdos on this show,but this Mel Blanc sounds like he's been drinking Drano."

Kermit:"Well Sam Mel Blanc is a man of a thousand voices."

Sam:"Must he always talk like a looney tune?"

GUEST STAR SPOT
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Mel Blanc,dressed in drag,performs"The Latin Quarter".

Samstorms onto stage,inturrupting the number)"STOP.What kind of foolishness are you displaying on this show?Of all the nonsense.This is beyond the revolutionary."

Mel Blanc:"Well what kind of performance would you like to see on this here show?"

Sam:"At least have the decency to act like a man,and not dress up in this kind of rediculous outfit."

Mel Blanc:"Oh I see.Since,after all,I am a man,not a woman,I should portray a male role.Well okay I'll be right back."
(builds his own wall where he could change his clothing behind)(returns in hunter's uniform)"Shh be very very qwiet,I'm hunting wabbits uhuhuhuh."

Sam:"That's a little too hokey."

Mel Blanc:"Then how about this?"(goes back behind his wall and returns in a cowboy outfit)"Nasty Canasta is mah there name".

(Sam shakes his head in disbeleif)

Mel Blanc(still in cowboy outfit)"Say yer prayers eagle".(whips out a long rope and wraps it around Sam)Sam:"What in the lord's name are you doing?Get me out of here".(Mel spins Sam around in circles with rope at super speed to cartoon sound effects commonly heard in Warner Brothers cartoons.He then pulls the gun out of it's holster and shoots at the cieling,and a large cieling chandeleir falls right onto Sam.)

BACKSTAGE
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Sam steps off stage totally dizzy with his eyes all mixed up.He's so dizzy that he eventually falls down the basement stairs.

Male rabbit muppet and female duck muppet approach Kermit.

Rabbit:Hello there mister frog.

Kermit:Hi ho,and what can I do for you?"

Rabbit:"Well my name is Mugs Bunny."

Duck:"And I'm Taffy Duck."

Rabbit:"And we was wonderin' if ya' had a spot fer us on yer show there."

Kermitscrunches up face)"Mugs Bunny and Taffy Duck?"

PIGS IN SPACE
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Captain Link Hogthrob:"What's on our agenda this week professor?"

Professor Strangepork:"We have a new crew member coming aboard our ship."

First Mate Piggy:"New crew member?"

Professor Strangepork:"Yes.So when he arrives,let's all make him feel welcomed aboard."

First Mate Piggy:"If he's as stupid as you two dimwitted dummies,than I'll be used to him."

Their expected new member arrives in form of a muppet version of Porky Pig.
"Umaneh umaneh nyem nye hi there.Muh muh my nye nye nye,my nye name is,umenah ume nye"

Professor Strangepork:"You must be our new crew member,Corky Pig."

Corky Pig:"Yeyeyeye yes,Imbah Ima I'm Corky Pig,yehe yeyaya your neyene new crcrcrew memamemammmember."

Professor Strangepork:"You see he has a bit of a stutturing problem."

First Mate Piggy"Corky Pig?Now I've heard everything."

Offscreen Announcer:"And so we've come to an end of another episode.Tune in next time when you'll hear the new crew member say,"

Corky Pig:"Abadee abadee that's all folks."

SKETCH
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The Electric Mayhem Band perform Procol Harum's 1967 hit song"A Whiter Shade Of Pale",with Floyd and Janice alternating lead vocals.

VETRINARIAN'S HOSPITAL
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Patient is Sam,still as dizzy as ever,with his eyes all jumbled up.Eventually his eyes suddenly come back to normal,and he wonders where he is and what happened.The usual type of jokes from Doctor Bob,Nurse Piggy and Nurse Janice ensue.
Offscreen Announcer:"And so we've reached the end of another episode.Tune in next time when you'll hear the patient say,"

Sam:"There's an insane guest star on our show tonight.Let me out of this theatre".(struggles to get out of bed)

BACKSTAGE
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Scooter:"Oh Kermit."

Kermit:"Yes Scooter."

Scooter:"Bad news chief.Bunsun Honeydew and Beaker's subway broke down.They'll never make in time for Muppet Lab.

Kermit:"Why that's terrible.We'll have to cancel the sketch.

Scooter:"Unless we could find substitutes."

Kermit:"Not a bad idea."

Kermit manages to get Mel Blanc and Fozzie to fill in for Bunsun and Beaker.

MUPPET LAB
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Mel Blanc is Bunsun's substitute assisted by Fozzie.Mel does an excellent voice imitation of Bunsun.The new invention is a giant megnate that can store anything you want it to.But when Fozzie tests it out,it collects TV cameras,set props,studio lights,sinks,radiators and a large grand piano.


Kermit apologises to Bouragard for the mess he has to clean up.

SWEDISH CHEF
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The Swedish Chef attempts to make a woodpecker pie.But the woodpecker muppet he tries to place in the pie keeps flying away from him.Finally while Swedish Chef is looking up at the cieling for the bird,the woodpecker sneaks up behind him,pecks him violently on the head,and laughs Woody Woodpecker's trade mark laugh.

CLOSING NUMBER
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Mel Blanc dressed as a magician,does a magic act.Out of his magic hat he was expecting to pull out a rabbit.But instead he pulls out Gonzo by his long nose.So he uses Gonzo for his next trick.Gonzo agrees to step into a portable closet.When Mel waves his magic wand,he expects Gonzo to disappear.But instead when he opens the closet,Sam appears.So when he quickly shuts the door and tries again,Fozzie appears.After his next attempt,Kermit appears.After that it's Animal.Then Scooter.Then Mugs Bunny and Taffy Duck.

CLOSING THEME
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Stalter:"You know we don't have to go over to Warner Brothers Studios to see any Looney Tunes."

Waldorf:"Of course not.We've got enough looney tunes in this theatre every week."
(Both laugh)