TMS Outline by kathy26:Robert Pattinson

[kathy26]

here is the muppet show that me and Dominicboo1 created

here it is

"It's the New Muppet Show with our very special guest star Robert Pattinson! YAYYY!!!

SPECIAL GUEST STAR:ROBERT PATTINSON

COLD OPENING: Scooter Comes In

Scooter:Robert Pattinson! 15 seconds to cutain Mr. Pattinson!

Robert:Thanks scooter I'll be ready

(A Vampire enters)

Vampire:Finally I meet one of my own kind!

Robert:really how?

Vampire:A vampire! An odd looking one but a vampire all the same!

Robert:thanks for that wonderful comment

Vampire:You're quite welcome! Goodbye!*turns into a bat*

(Robert Laughs as the Bat flies away)

CURTAIN:Kermit Enters

Kermit:Hi there and welcome to the Muppet show! We have the star of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and of course the Twilight Saga, Robert

Pattinson, but first here's Steven!

OPENING NUMBER: "Crocodile Rock"-Steven sings the song from the Elton John TMS at the end Crocodiles surround him with kisses

S&W:See you later alligator!

BACKSTAGE:Steven and the Crocodiles Return from the stage

Steven:Thanks guys but enough with the kisses

Kermit:Yeah...so is everything ready for the Twilight sketch?

Steven:yep it sure is boss thanks for letting my parents be in the sketch tonight

Kermit:Sure! They would be a good Esme and Carlisle. So are you excited to get to play Emmet?

Steven:yep who is clara going to play

Kermit:Roaslie.

Dominic:Emmet is the strongest Cullen, and Rosalie is his mate who doesn't get along with Bella, Steven.

Steven:Gee I wonder who is playing Bella

Mandy:I heard Piggy is...

Steven:gee Kermit I hope your not jealous that piggy is playing Bella

Kermit:Of course not.

Steven:cause I heard that Robert always takes his shirt off

Kermit:He sometimes does...

Dominic:Well at least it's not Taylor...Jacob takes it off an awful lot....

(Gonzo rushes in)

Gonzo:Hey guys! I'm so excited to be playing Jacob, and I'll get to kiss Piggy won't I?

Steven:Wait a minute Gonzo playing Jacob

Kermit:Yeah...why not?

Steven:remember that miss piggy hates gonzo

Kermit:Um I guess I'll play Jacob then....

Steven:great so the sketch will be the closing number right

Kermit:Right!

Steven: Ok Dominic and his polka playing farm animals onstage please

Dominic:Ok!

(Dominic and his polka animals head for the stage)

Fozzie:What kind of song could Dominic sing with Polka Playing Animals?

Steven:i think they're singing Swanee

SONG: "Swanee"-Dominic sings while his animals play the polka music and the chorus he whistles like a bird

Statler:What did you think of that number?

Waldorf:It could have been worse..

Statler:You're right it could have been longer!

MUPPET NEWS:Newsman Rushes in

Newsman:Here is a Muppet Newsflash! The stocks of anvils is dropping!
*anvil falls on his head*
Ouch...

DRESSING ROOM: Robert is practicing his lines with Dominic a knock is heard

Robert:Come in

(Sam The Eagle enters)

Sam:Mr. Pattinson......you are the very epitome of glamarizing evil...you should be ashmaed of yourself!

Robert:Really how come?

Sam the Eagle:You glamarize blood-sucking vampires! Disgusting, disgraceful, and UnAmerican!

Robert:actually Vampires are pretty cool

Sam the Eagle:*groans and leaves*

Dominic: Don't mind him Robert...he does that to everyone.....

Robert:so Dominic what's up I heard a casting change for my closing sketch tonight

Dominic:Well I'm playing a male Alice, my boyfriend's playing Jasper, Steven's parents are Carlisle and Esme, Steven's Emmet, and Clara's

Rosalie...Kermit's Jacob.

Robert:and miss piggy is playing Bella

Dominic:*nods*That's right! You get to kiss Piggy!*smiles*

Robert:cool I hope Kristen Stewart isn't watching this

Dominic:Well if she is maybe she'll be a little more faithful!*shrugs*

UK SPOT: "Talk to the Trees"-Mandy sings in a forest.

Statler:No wonder the trees don't listen

Waldorf:That number stunk!

DRESSING ROOM: Piggy is getting ready for VH when there's a knock on her door

Piggy:*hears knock*Come in!

(Robert enters)

Robert:Hi Miss piggy

Piggy:Hello Robert dear!

Robert:so I heard your playing Bella in the Twilight Closing Sketch tonight?

Piggy:That's right dear...*smirks*

Robert:well I heard they did a little recast so now Kermit is Playing Jacob instead of Gonzo

Piggy:OOH GOODY!

Robert:why are you so happy About?

Piggy:If you have to ask dear..you'll never know.*grins*

(Scooter enters)

Scooter:Excuse Me Miss piggy but your vet's hospital is on next

Piggy:I'll be right there! Pardone moi Robert....

Robert:well good luck out there

Piggy:Thank you dear.*kisses his cheek*

VETS HOSPITAL:a Vampire is the patient

Announcer:And now once again Veternarian's Hospital the continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs.

Rowlf:so Nurse Janice who is the next patient

Janice:A vampire Dr. Bob.

Rowlf:so what seems to be his problem?

Vampire:I had bad blood....

Rowlf:how bad is it?

Janice:I don't know.

Vampire: past its exipration date I never should have drank that....

Piggy:your blood has a expiration date how do you know that?

Vampire:The blood didn't taste so fresh...

Rowlf:did he have any family at all?

Janice:Gee I don't know.

Vampire:THEY WERE DELICIOUS!

(the nurses laugh)

Rowlf:This sketch really is a pain in the neck...you know it bites?

Piggy:well you know the old saying a dog's bark is worst than his bite

Vampire:BUT NOT ME!*snickers*

(the nurses laugh while dr bob groans)

Announcer:so we come to the end of Veterinarian's Hospital tune in next week when you'll hear Dr Bob say...

Rowlf:This patient is driving me bats.

Piggy:you mean these bats (some vampire bats fly in)

Vampire:*cackles*Good evening......*smirks*

(the sketch ends)

Statler:He needs to pick up his check!

Waldorf:Where?

Statler:At the Blood Bank!

BACKSTAGE: Dominic Prepares the final touchs on the closing sketch

Dominic:Ok....... let me see the final touches for the Cullen house...perfect........
*looks around*

Perfect! Ready!

(Steven enters wearing his costume)

Steven:Hi Dominic the gang is all ready to do the closing sketch

Dominic:It sure is!

Steven:so My Sister Mandy is going to do the introduction right

Dominic:That's right!

Steven:great (Steven and Dominic head for the stage)

CURTAIN:Mandy Enters

Mandy:And now Robert Pattinson, Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog, Dominic,Christopher, Clara, and my big brother Steven and parents in the Twilight

sketch.

CLOSING SKETCH:the closing sketch begins inside the Cullen House

Robert:Everyone my girlfriend Bella's coming over for dinner! Dominic please make sure Jasper behaves.

Dominic:Of course. *to Christopher*You'll be ok right honey?

Christopher:i'll be fine

Dominic:Ok Jasper dear. I know you haven't live off of animal blood as long as we have......

Christopher:Animal Blood where

Dominic:*smiles*I mean you haven't been away from human blood as long as the rest of us Jasper....

(Bella arrives)

Robert:Hello Bella.

Piggy:hello Edward sweetie sorry I was late I stuck in traffic

Robert:Oh that's ok! *kisses her cheek*This is my brother Dominic and his boyfriend Jasper.

Dominic:Baby it's ok! Hi Bella nice to meet you!

Piggy:nice to meet you Dominic

Dominic:Nice to meet you two.

Robert:And this is Rosalie and Emmet.

Clara:Why did you bring a human here Edward?

Steven:yeah and she smells like bacon

Robert:Yeah her smell is...intoxicating....

Clara:Well at least I have a clean record*snobbishly*I have the 2nd cleanest record next to Carlisle....I never had any human blood.

Steven:yeah me ether what about her

Robert:She's a human Emmet....

Steven: oh yeah can you prove it

Robert:Come on can't you smell her scent.....

Dominic:Well yes...and it's driving my poor Jasper insane...

Christopher:yeah it is

Robert:Well if anything happesn to her I'll get angry!

Dominic:Come on Edward he's been doing very well considering......I don't see Bella having her blood drank at this moment...he's decided to

cotnrol himself and drink elk blood ahead of time...

(Thelma and Steven's Dad enter)

Thelma:Hello there! I'm Esme!

Steven's Dad:And I'm Carlisle Edward's adoptive father...

Robert:Esme and Carlisle this is Bella

Piggy:Hi Esme! Hi Carlisle!

Thelma:nice to meet you Bella

Piggy*smiles*Nice to meet you too..

Dominic:Ooh it's raining! Look guys! Do you think we could play some baseball Edward?

Robert:yeah that's sounds great you wanna play with us Bella Darling

Piggy:Ok......sounds interesting....

(as they're playing baseball some werewolves arrive with Jacob as their leader)

Robert:What? WEREWOLVES!

Dominic:Yeah...

Clara*whispers to Steven*We couldn't find anyone to play James....

Kermit:hey man this is our field get lost

Dominic:No we won't.

Robert: oh yeah you and what army

Dominic:Come on Edward...don't worry they can't attack us unless the treaty is broken and we haven't harmed any humans..

Kermit:Hey Edward Did Bella tell you?

Robert:Tell me what?

Kermit:she's not a human she's one of us

Robert:WHAT?!

Dominic:Hubba wha?*reads script*Oh...Gonzo must have written this thing...

Piggy:it's true Edward i'm not in love i'm still in love with that Jacoby the Werewolf (Piggy kisses Kermit)

Robert:Oh....

(Piggy starts to Karate Chop Steven for that bacon comment)

Piggy:By the way Emmett*growls and is about to chop him*

Steven: wait how are we going to close this sketch

Kermit:How about a song cue

Piggy:Sounds perfect

(Robert and Company sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame")

CULLEN HOUSE:Kermit enters

Kermit:and so we come down to end of another muppet show and i want to thank our very special guest star Robert Pattinson

Robert: Thanks Kermit this was fun...

Gonzo; Kill the spare!!! Sorry Rob...couldn't resist...

Dominic: *laughs* Good one Gonzo

Vampire:i had fun too working with you Robert but i have one question to ask?

Robert: Sure what is it?

Vampire:what is Kristen's Stewart Blood Type?

Kermit: I'm not sure that is appropriate

Robert: Well I can't be positive anyway

Fozzie: Ahhh!

Kermit:We'll see you next time on the Muppet Show

Vampire: Please come in......*hisses*

(Robert,Kermit,Piggy,Fozzie,Dominic,Gonzo,Vampire,Steven,Clara,one of Dominic's polka animals,Thelma and Steven's Dad gather around)

Waldorf:This Show will never see the light of day

Statler: Not if we can help it!