TMS-Jerry Lewis

[JaniceFerSure]

This is my first TMS script,and I'm writing it off of the top of my head.Hope everyone likes it.This takes place around the last season.

(cold opening)
<knocking on dressing room door & looking in room>
Scooter: Mr. Lewis,oh Mr. Lewis? 30 seconds to curtain Mr. Lewis.
Jerry: Thanks,kid. Say,what's your name?
Scooter: I'm Scooter.
Jerry: Say Scooter,is the stage set for my opening number?
Scooter: You bet.
<Scooter running out of dressing room to get the stage ready>

:: Jerry is making faces in a full-legnth mirror ::

Kermit: It's The Muppet Show,with the incomparable Mr. Jerry Lewis!! Yayyy!

:: Muppet theme is sung ::

<Gonzo is blowing bubbles with a bubble wand>

Gonzo: Silence is art.

:: Jerry comes onstage up to Kermit ::

Jerry: Is the staircase all ready for me Kermit?

Kermit: You mean the grand staircase,where you 'grandly' make your way down?

Jerry: That's the one.You know I like my entrances.

Kermit: Yep, it's backstage,waiting for you.

<Jerry heads off back behind the curtain>

Kermit(waking up from his distraction): Ok,thank you,thank you everybody.Boy,do we have a superstar with us tonight.The one and only Jerry Lewis.

(pause,Kermit looks up at the balcony and sees Statler & Waldorf missing).

Kermit: (to audience)Where are Statler & Waldorf?

<Jerry answers from behind the curtain>

Jerry:They're back here with me Kermit.

<Kermit starts looking frazzled>

Kermit: Ok,well,ahem.Here is Jerry Lewis,Statler and Waldorf singing 'Old Black Magic'.

(curtain opens Jerry decends a grand,lighted staircase;sits down at a baby-grand piano.All 3 are in suits and ties,Jerry at piano playing;recreating scene from The Nutty Professor.Jerry sings 'Old Black Magic',Statler and Waldorf sing every other line.)

<after the number,backstage at Kermit's desk>

Kermit: Boy Fozzie,I sure hope the closing number works out ok.

Fozzie: Well Kermit,if it doesn't,it won't matter. It's a circus,isn't it.

Kermit: Yeah Fozzie,we're doing the song Jerry and Dean sang in Three Ring Circus.Everybody is dressed as a circus performer.

Fozzie: Even Statler & Waldorf?

Kermit: Well,that's something we'll just have to wait and see.

<Kermit heading off to the stage>

Kermit: Ok,what a great opening that was.

Statler: Of course it was great.

Waldorf: We were in that one!

<both laugh>

Kermit(giving S & W a grimace look): Here's the next number.. The Great Gonzo will recite The Raven,while milking a cow,to the tune of the 1812 Overture.

Pigs In Space is next.The crew is spring-cleaning the Swinetrek.

Kermit: Alright,here he is,Mr. Lewis will play an invisible typewriter.(the typewriter song is in tune to 'Flight of the Bumblebees') <Gonzo comes onstage in awe of JL,and joins him>

UK spot: Floyd & Dr. Teeth sing 'It's a Big,Wide Wonderful World(song from Three Ring Circus).

The Swedish Chef bakes an apple pie.SC notices he forgot the apples,and shouts out for some apples in Swedish.Apples quick fall down from the ceiling.SC finishes his pie.

Kermit<backstage,speaking to everyone>: Ok,is everybody dressed for the closing number?
:: everyone shouts back affirmations ::

(Kermit is in his ring-master uniform;walks onstage,the stage is set up in full-muppet circus theme).

<Everyone is dressed as a member of the circus:Scooter is an acrobat,Sam is a lion-tamer,Piggy as a trapezist,TEM guys are clowns & Janice is a poodle-trainer,etc....>

: They sing 'Hey,Punchinello' :



(Kermit)There's a famous man who's the idol of every clown,
(Floyd)He started the profession and his tricks he handed down.
(Dr.Teeth)So everyone who has a yen to be a happy man,
(Scooter)Calls on Punchinello to help him if he can.

(Piggy)Punchinello, hey Punchinello,
(Janice)La la la la la la you wonderful fellow.
(Lew Zealand)The fun you brought us,
(JL) The things you taught us,
(Waldorf)Make a sad and weary world wonderfully mellow.
(Statler)Now when we're having trouble, the half a mountain high,
(all)A circus clown can knock 'em down and never bat an eye.
(Gonzo)Punchinello, hey Punchinello,
(Zoot)Oh the face of every clown's a work of art!
(Piggy)Punchinello molto bello, you ring a bell a bell a bell here in my heart.

(JL) Punchinello, hey Punchinello,
(JL) All my life I yearned to be your kind of fellow.
(JL) If I could only make a lonely,
(JL) Turn a gals little laugh into a bellow.

(Scooter)To carry off the children to some enchanted lands,
(Fozzie)To see their eyes and bright surprise is all that he demands.
(JL) Hey Punchinello Hey Punchinello.
(JL) Let me change my face and tumble up and down!
(Crazy Harry)Hey Punchinello, molto bello.
(Rowlf)Do you suppose I have a chance at being a clown?

(Annie Sue)Many hear the call in the city of Napoli,
(Dr.Teeth)The babe with Punchinello was the man they came to see.
(Animal)The clown would captivate the peasants or the noble prince,
(Bunsen)And in every circus they've done it ever since.

(All) Punchinello, hey Punchinello,
(All) La la la la la you wonderful fellow,
(All) The fun you brought us the things you taught us,
(All) Make a sad a weary world wonderfully mellow.

(Kermit)The clown in the circus will get a special pride,
(Piggy)When people laugh the kind of laugh that warms them up inside.
(All) Punchinello, hey Punchinello.
(All) Oh the face of every clown's a work of art,
(Floyd)Punchinello, molto bello,
(Fozzie)You ring a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell here in my heart.
(All) Hey, Punchinello!

(All)Punchinello, hey Punchinello oh the face of every clown's a work of art,
(All)Punchinello, molto bello,
(All)You ring a bell a bell a bell a bell a bell,
(All)A bell a bell a bell a bell a bell,
(JL)Here in my heart!
(All) Hey,Punchinello!

Kermit(walks to the front of the stage): Well,that's all we have time here on The Muppet Show.Please,let's give a thunderous applause once again to Mr. Jerry Lewis.Yayyyy!!

Jerry(walks onstage to join Kermit): Thanks again for having me here Kermit.

Kermit: Your welcome Mr. Lewis.Thanks also to Statler and Waldorf for composing themselves this week.

Statler: Well,you earned it frog.

Waldorf: He did?

Statler: Yeah.We should give him a break every once in awhile.

(S & W laugh)

The End.

Hope this wasn't too long.I'd like to hear your opinions on it.Thanks for looking.

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Ahem, one important point to make: I already used Swinetrek spring cleaning in my Tim Conway outline two weeks ago. Did we forget that we read it there?

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[JaniceFerSure]

Just wondering what your opinion on the episode would have been David,if that skit was different. I'm allowed to write whatever I want,thanks.Even if it uses something of yours.Doesn't mean I would write it in the same way as you.I didn't intentionally 'copy' your skit,if that's your opinion,so be it.


In order to preserve my idea,I've updated it.

Kermit: Here's our next number.. The Great Gonzo will recite The Raven,while milking a cow,to the tune of Beethoven's 5th Symphony.

The Anything Muppets sing 'Anything Goes',while changing their forms into animals.

Rowlf and Jerry sing a slow rendition of Dean's song 'Everybody Loves Somebody,Sometime'.

 

[Gorgon Heap]

I'm just razzing you. You do know that, don't you?

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[JaniceFerSure]

I know.Hope you liked the rest of it.

 

[McFraggle]

Good job Diana.

 

[JaniceFerSure]

Thanks McFraggle,that means a lot.

 

[Docnzhoss]

I'm glad I checked out the Fan Fiction & Fan Art Forum. I'm digging these outlines!

Nicely done, Diana, especially the closing number. Getting everyone involved in the closing number gives it a lot of heart. Involving Statler and Waldorf in the show was a nice touch as well. Jerry Lewis is just the kind of guy they would want to perform with. Good you did, Diana, good you did.

 

[JaniceFerSure]

Thanks,that you like it,makes me happy.I appreciate you opinion Ryan. Jerry is one of my idols,it was such a honor to write this & to see him in person was amazing. I did a Dean Martin thread too,I just copied it here(it's under another Jerry Lewis thread,I couldn't change the title to it;probably has confused all that have visited it). Hope you like that one as well.


TMS with Guest Star-Dean Martin
Note that the guest star was changed.I can't change the original thread title for some reason. Hope you like it.

<Dean comes in through the back theater entrance>

Pops: Hey,I know you,sure,your Dean Martin.
Dean: That's right,I am.You must be Pops.
Pops: That's what they tell me.
Dean: Well,excuse me Pops,but I have the show to do.
Pops: Good luck.(under his breath,'You'll need it tonight.')


Kermit: It's The Muppet Show,with our special guest-star,Mr. Dean Martin! Yayyyy!


(Muppet theme is sung)


:: Gonzo is in the O,tap-dancing,on Zoot's final note,Gonzo taps out of the O ::


Gonzo: Whoopie!!


Kermit: Ok,Welcome to The Muppet Show.We have a special guest tonight.He sings,acts; he swoons & croons.The one and only,Mr. Dean Martin.


(audience ooohs)


Kermit: Yes! But first,a nice musical number,set in Italy.(Piggy sings "Mambo Italiano",along with the male pigs as back-up)


Gonzo plays a lute,while weaving a basket,to the tune of 'Luck Be a Lady'.


Kermit: Moving right along..ahem..here is Dean & Rowlf.(Rowlf plays piano & sings with Dean 'That's Amore').


Statler & Waldorf sing:'Buona Sera'.


closing number: Dean sings Volare,to all of the muppets.(The number is set in an old Italian restaurant).

Kermit: Well,that's all we have time for this week.I'd like to thank once again,Mr. Dean Martin! Yayyyy!!!

Dean: Thanks for having me Kermit,I had fun.

Kermit: You bet.

Statler: We did a good job tonight.
Waldorf: We sure did,least the frog gave us something to do.
Statler: Which is better what we usually do.
Waldorf: Yeah,watch the show!
(both laugh)

__________________

 

[Princeton]

I was reading in a magizine today about a movie written by, directed by, and starring Jerry Lewis that was sadly never released. It was called "The Day The Clown Cried" and you can get a bootlegged copy of the screenplay on eBay. Jerry plays Helmut Doork, who is sent to a Nazi death camp for lampooning Hitler. Just FYI.