minor muppetz
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This fan fic is meant to be like on of the muppet show compilation videos released by Playhouse Video in 1985. Since I have only seen four of them, I apologize for including any segments that were already included on one of these videos. This fan fic is in the style of The Muppet Revue and Muppet Moments.
(the title "Classic Muppet Moments" appears on-screen and the opening music plays as Kermit and Sam The Eagle enter the attic)
Sam: well, kermit, I hope that we get the proper materials needed for this "Muppet Show Museum Exhibet". It should be treated with respect.
Kermit: I hope so, too. the museum is spending a lot of money on this exhibet.
Sam: right, and we better not waste their money.
Kermit: right!
(cut to the song "money". then cut to the muppet news segment about furniture turning into monsters. then cut to the pigs in space segment where the crew sees a light that turns out to be the headlights of a motorcycle)
Sam: Yes, those are some classic, yet tasteless, moments.
kermit: oh, sam, doesn't anything please you?
Sam: oh, yes, good, old-fashioned entertainment....
(cut to "the varsity drag")
Kermit: Well, does anything else please you?
Sam: of course. My favorite ballet dancer, Rudolph Nureya does. or at least did.
(cut to Rudolph Nureyas "swine lake" number. then but to the swedish chef sketch where he makes spring chickens. Then cut to the muppet labs sketch where Bunsen invents fireproof paper)
sam: now, if you will excuse me, kermit, I have to make a phone call.
Kermit: who are you calling?
Sam: I am calling a friend.
Kermit: oh, are you calling Mellissa Manchester? She always calls people friend.
Sam: oh, good grief.
(cut to mellissa manchesters "whenever I call you friend" number. Then cut to the veterinarians hospital sketch where the patient is talking bread. then cut to the news sketch where an airplane drops ping pong balls and a bowling ball. then cut to Fozzies monologue where he demands to only see fans of fozzie bear in the audience)
Sam: You know, Kermit, we really shoudl include some props that wayne and wanda did.
Kermit: uh, I don't think so, Sam.
(cut to the wayne and wanda song "paper Moon". Then cut to the swedish chef sketch where the chef makes spagghetti)
Kermit: hey, sam, why don't we put this spagghetti in the exhibbet?
Sam: no, thank you. That spagghetti could be dangerous, but then again, anybody can be a criminal. Thank Goodness for the police!
(cut to the bear on patrol sketch sketch where Fozzie captures a car prisioner. Then cut to sams speech about crime)
Sam: (looking at the picture Animal drew in the "that face" number) ugh, look at that ugly picture. That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. What is that supposed to be?
Kermit: uh, that's supposed to be candace bergan.
(cut to the song "that face")
Sam: I can't beleive it. But I still say that is an ugly picture.
Kermti: yeah, but it doesn't matter how we look.
Sam: that is right. there are millions of us who are ugly!
(cut to the sketch "there are milliosn of us who are ugly. then cut to the vendaface sketch where two women use the machine)
Kermit: hey, sam?
sam: what?
Kermit: why don't we use this stack of hey?
Sam: why not?
Kermit: Well, Jim Nabors used it in the country.
(cut to the song "thank god i'm a country boy". Then cut to sam the eagles speech on ecology. Then cut to the Muppet Sports segment about tree staring. Then cut to the song "danny boy")
Sam: well, I think we have all of our props ready.
Kermit: yes, we do.
sam: this exhibet will be a success!
Kermit: right!
sam: But just for good luck, let's listen to some classical music.
(cut to the song "after you've gone", the u.k. spot from the beverly sills episode)
Sam: and that is what the muppets shoudl be all about. Class!
Kermit: yep. Now let's get things started.
(the credits roll)
So, what does everybody think?
(the title "Classic Muppet Moments" appears on-screen and the opening music plays as Kermit and Sam The Eagle enter the attic)
Sam: well, kermit, I hope that we get the proper materials needed for this "Muppet Show Museum Exhibet". It should be treated with respect.
Kermit: I hope so, too. the museum is spending a lot of money on this exhibet.
Sam: right, and we better not waste their money.
Kermit: right!
(cut to the song "money". then cut to the muppet news segment about furniture turning into monsters. then cut to the pigs in space segment where the crew sees a light that turns out to be the headlights of a motorcycle)
Sam: Yes, those are some classic, yet tasteless, moments.
kermit: oh, sam, doesn't anything please you?
Sam: oh, yes, good, old-fashioned entertainment....
(cut to "the varsity drag")
Kermit: Well, does anything else please you?
Sam: of course. My favorite ballet dancer, Rudolph Nureya does. or at least did.
(cut to Rudolph Nureyas "swine lake" number. then but to the swedish chef sketch where he makes spring chickens. Then cut to the muppet labs sketch where Bunsen invents fireproof paper)
sam: now, if you will excuse me, kermit, I have to make a phone call.
Kermit: who are you calling?
Sam: I am calling a friend.
Kermit: oh, are you calling Mellissa Manchester? She always calls people friend.
Sam: oh, good grief.
(cut to mellissa manchesters "whenever I call you friend" number. Then cut to the veterinarians hospital sketch where the patient is talking bread. then cut to the news sketch where an airplane drops ping pong balls and a bowling ball. then cut to Fozzies monologue where he demands to only see fans of fozzie bear in the audience)
Sam: You know, Kermit, we really shoudl include some props that wayne and wanda did.
Kermit: uh, I don't think so, Sam.
(cut to the wayne and wanda song "paper Moon". Then cut to the swedish chef sketch where the chef makes spagghetti)
Kermit: hey, sam, why don't we put this spagghetti in the exhibbet?
Sam: no, thank you. That spagghetti could be dangerous, but then again, anybody can be a criminal. Thank Goodness for the police!
(cut to the bear on patrol sketch sketch where Fozzie captures a car prisioner. Then cut to sams speech about crime)
Sam: (looking at the picture Animal drew in the "that face" number) ugh, look at that ugly picture. That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. What is that supposed to be?
Kermit: uh, that's supposed to be candace bergan.
(cut to the song "that face")
Sam: I can't beleive it. But I still say that is an ugly picture.
Kermti: yeah, but it doesn't matter how we look.
Sam: that is right. there are millions of us who are ugly!
(cut to the sketch "there are milliosn of us who are ugly. then cut to the vendaface sketch where two women use the machine)
Kermit: hey, sam?
sam: what?
Kermit: why don't we use this stack of hey?
Sam: why not?
Kermit: Well, Jim Nabors used it in the country.
(cut to the song "thank god i'm a country boy". Then cut to sam the eagles speech on ecology. Then cut to the Muppet Sports segment about tree staring. Then cut to the song "danny boy")
Sam: well, I think we have all of our props ready.
Kermit: yes, we do.
sam: this exhibet will be a success!
Kermit: right!
sam: But just for good luck, let's listen to some classical music.
(cut to the song "after you've gone", the u.k. spot from the beverly sills episode)
Sam: and that is what the muppets shoudl be all about. Class!
Kermit: yep. Now let's get things started.
(the credits roll)
So, what does everybody think?