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Here is my last (for now, anyway) script for my series of fanfics called "The Stars of The Muppets". Maybe I'll do more after the movie comes out, but currently I don't plan to do so.
Enjoy!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for The Stars of The Muppets. Here's our host, Walter!
Walter: Tonight, we're going to spotlight the Muppets' drummer, Animal!
Animal: AN-I-MAL! AN-I-MAL!
Walter: That's him.
Animal: That's me!
Walter: In the new movie The Muppets, Animal takes anger management. How was that, Animal?
Animal: YARRRRGGHHHH......
(Leads to Animal's anger management sequence)
Walter: You are the best at the drums.
Animal: YEAH! YEAH! DRUMMS!!!!!
Walter: Here is one of your greatest performances!
(Leads to:
Walter: One of your wildest performances came the night Rita Moreno guest starred.
Animal: YEAH! RITA! RITA!
(Leads to "Fever")
Walter: Let's talk to Animal's fellow Electric Mayhem bandmates, shall we?
Dr. Teeth: Well, Animal is an alright drummer. Whenever the audience jeers us, he sets them straight!
Floyd: Animal's my main man. I hold his chain tightly. I'm looking for a way to get him to stop chewing on it, though.
Janice: Like, Animal is, like, totally a great drummer. It's rully hard to find another drummer with his energy.
Zoot: What are we talking about again?
Lips: Animal's as good a drummer as I am a trumpetist.
Floyd: We once had to put a mussle on Animal. He was able to chew it off within minutes (chuckles).
Janice: Like, sometimes we'll polish up his drum set, get it nice and clean. Of course, he dirties it up within minutes, fer sure!
Dr. Teeth: Sometimes he forgets that he beats the drums. He thinks that he eats drums instead.
Zoot: What again?
Floyd: We once had to perform "Minute in G Major". Animal didn't enjoy doing that performance.
(Leads to "Minute in G Major")
Walter: You may be the most popular one in the band, Animal...
Animal: Popular! Yeah!
Walter: Yeah. But the others get to do the lead-singing more than you do.
Animal: UGH!
(Leads to:
Walter: Let's talk with some more of Animal's friends.
Kermit: Well, we have to walk him twice a week before a performance. It helps keep his mind off the violence, though not very well.
Fozzie Bear: We often have to draw straws to determine who walks Animal each week. Fortunately, I'm the best artist. AHH! Get it? Draw straws, artist? AAAAHHHH.
Gonzo: One time he ate his whole drum set, so I had to substitute for his drums. I was sad the day he got a new set of drums.
Clifford: What I don't get is how he can get more ladies than me.
Sam the Eagle: That Animal is so uncultural, so undignified, he's one of the weirdest ones in our group. Well, that weird one is a bit weirder. So is the one who meeps. And the one who speaks swedish is certainly weirder. So is that weirdo who throws fish.
Sweetums: One of Animal's biggest roles ever was in The Muppet Movie. In fact, it made him bigger than me.
(Leads to Animal growing and scaring off the bad guys)
Bunsen Honeydew: In order for that effect to work, he had to eat some of my Insta-Grow pills. However, the effects are sadly temporary. But in his case, they weren't sadly temporary enough.
Beaker: Mee mee mee mee mee mee?
Rowlf: Without Animal, the orchestra would be a little bit quieter.
Pepe: I don't get how he can be more merchandised than me, okay! He doesn't speak properly, okay. I need to be merchandised and make more residual monies, okay?
Floyd: I remember the time he met Lou Rawls. It was a high point in his career.
(Leads to Animal's meeting with Lou Rawls)
Walter: So, Animal, do you get jealous of other drummers?
Animal: YEAH! YEAH!
Walter: Any drummers you've been more jealous of than others?
Animal: BUDDY RICH!!! YAAGGGHHHH!!! (starts chewing off his chair)
(Leads to:
Walter: You are usually unstoppable.
Animal: Yeah! Unstoppable!
Walter: But there was one time you showed signs of weakness.
(Leads to:
Clifford: Animal kept insisting we do more takes of that number. But of course we only had it in the budget for one take.
Carl: Animal has inspired me to become "Carl, the Big Mean Drum Eater". (Takes some drums and eats it whole)
Beauregard: Word of advice: Don't ever brush his teeth for him.
Dr. Teeth: Animal is very handy in scaring off the autograph hounds. Of course he also scares away potential management.
Rizzo: I once, um, "accidently" ate some of Animal's lunch. I wish I could forget his reaction.
Zoot: What?
(Leads to "Wipe Out")
Walter: So you've had a great career, great vacations, and are one of the most recognizable Muppets of all time.
Animal: YEAH!
Walter: We all look forward to seeing you in the new movie.
Animal: ME TOO! MEE TOO!
Walter: But you were in the movie.
Animal: SO WERE YOU!
Walter: Yeah... I guess we're both looking forward to seeing ourselves on the big screen.
Animal: YEAH!
Enjoy!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for The Stars of The Muppets. Here's our host, Walter!
Walter: Tonight, we're going to spotlight the Muppets' drummer, Animal!
Animal: AN-I-MAL! AN-I-MAL!
Walter: That's him.
Animal: That's me!
Walter: In the new movie The Muppets, Animal takes anger management. How was that, Animal?
Animal: YARRRRGGHHHH......
(Leads to Animal's anger management sequence)
Walter: You are the best at the drums.
Animal: YEAH! YEAH! DRUMMS!!!!!
Walter: Here is one of your greatest performances!
(Leads to:
- Wild Thing
- Kermit interviews Animal
Walter: One of your wildest performances came the night Rita Moreno guest starred.
Animal: YEAH! RITA! RITA!
(Leads to "Fever")
Walter: Let's talk to Animal's fellow Electric Mayhem bandmates, shall we?
Dr. Teeth: Well, Animal is an alright drummer. Whenever the audience jeers us, he sets them straight!
Floyd: Animal's my main man. I hold his chain tightly. I'm looking for a way to get him to stop chewing on it, though.
Janice: Like, Animal is, like, totally a great drummer. It's rully hard to find another drummer with his energy.
Zoot: What are we talking about again?
Lips: Animal's as good a drummer as I am a trumpetist.
Floyd: We once had to put a mussle on Animal. He was able to chew it off within minutes (chuckles).
Janice: Like, sometimes we'll polish up his drum set, get it nice and clean. Of course, he dirties it up within minutes, fer sure!
Dr. Teeth: Sometimes he forgets that he beats the drums. He thinks that he eats drums instead.
Zoot: What again?
Floyd: We once had to perform "Minute in G Major". Animal didn't enjoy doing that performance.
(Leads to "Minute in G Major")
Walter: You may be the most popular one in the band, Animal...
Animal: Popular! Yeah!
Walter: Yeah. But the others get to do the lead-singing more than you do.
Animal: UGH!
(Leads to:
- Love Ya to Death (version from The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence)
- Rockin' Robin
- Sunny
Walter: Let's talk with some more of Animal's friends.
Kermit: Well, we have to walk him twice a week before a performance. It helps keep his mind off the violence, though not very well.
Fozzie Bear: We often have to draw straws to determine who walks Animal each week. Fortunately, I'm the best artist. AHH! Get it? Draw straws, artist? AAAAHHHH.
Gonzo: One time he ate his whole drum set, so I had to substitute for his drums. I was sad the day he got a new set of drums.
Clifford: What I don't get is how he can get more ladies than me.
Sam the Eagle: That Animal is so uncultural, so undignified, he's one of the weirdest ones in our group. Well, that weird one is a bit weirder. So is the one who meeps. And the one who speaks swedish is certainly weirder. So is that weirdo who throws fish.
Sweetums: One of Animal's biggest roles ever was in The Muppet Movie. In fact, it made him bigger than me.
(Leads to Animal growing and scaring off the bad guys)
Bunsen Honeydew: In order for that effect to work, he had to eat some of my Insta-Grow pills. However, the effects are sadly temporary. But in his case, they weren't sadly temporary enough.
Beaker: Mee mee mee mee mee mee?
Rowlf: Without Animal, the orchestra would be a little bit quieter.
Pepe: I don't get how he can be more merchandised than me, okay! He doesn't speak properly, okay. I need to be merchandised and make more residual monies, okay?
Floyd: I remember the time he met Lou Rawls. It was a high point in his career.
(Leads to Animal's meeting with Lou Rawls)
Walter: So, Animal, do you get jealous of other drummers?
Animal: YEAH! YEAH!
Walter: Any drummers you've been more jealous of than others?
Animal: BUDDY RICH!!! YAAGGGHHHH!!! (starts chewing off his chair)
(Leads to:
- Animal's drum battle with Buddy Rich
- Sweet Tooth Jam
- Carol of the Bells
Walter: You are usually unstoppable.
Animal: Yeah! Unstoppable!
Walter: But there was one time you showed signs of weakness.
(Leads to:
- Animal struggling in "At the Dance"
- Animal hits a gong
Clifford: Animal kept insisting we do more takes of that number. But of course we only had it in the budget for one take.
Carl: Animal has inspired me to become "Carl, the Big Mean Drum Eater". (Takes some drums and eats it whole)
Beauregard: Word of advice: Don't ever brush his teeth for him.
Dr. Teeth: Animal is very handy in scaring off the autograph hounds. Of course he also scares away potential management.
Rizzo: I once, um, "accidently" ate some of Animal's lunch. I wish I could forget his reaction.
Zoot: What?
(Leads to "Wipe Out")
Walter: So you've had a great career, great vacations, and are one of the most recognizable Muppets of all time.
Animal: YEAH!
Walter: We all look forward to seeing you in the new movie.
Animal: ME TOO! MEE TOO!
Walter: But you were in the movie.
Animal: SO WERE YOU!
Walter: Yeah... I guess we're both looking forward to seeing ourselves on the big screen.
Animal: YEAH!
