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Hiya and welcome to my oneshot sequel of A Story That Does Not Make Any Sense, entitled The Next Day 
I hope you enjoy it
Kermit and Miss Piggy had spent the night in her apartment. The sun shone on the frog’s face, waking him up. He looked at her still sleeping form and smiled peacefully. Maybe he should thank whoever knocked him and her out and locked them in the broom closet. He wondered if anyone knew who did this. He would ask them later in the theater. But now, he would savor this moment with Miss Piggy. Kermit looked around for he did not have a chance to do so the night before. The room was not as large as Miss Piggy would have normally liked it, but it was quite big. A large white wardrobe with golden adornments took up most of the space of the opposite wall. Various pictures in golden frames, most of them featuring her, decorated the walls. Looking around, he saw every piece of furniture was very expensive. Maybe she had earned a lot of money over the years, he thought. All in all, Miss Piggy’s bedroom looked like it could be a room of a mansion. His thoughts were interrupted when she snuggled closer to him. Her eyes slowly opened and she smiled at her frog.
“Bonjour”, she said.
“Good morning to you, too”, said Kermit and he kissed her. Miss Piggy sighed happily and closed her eyes.
“Do we have to get up?”
“I think the others can live without us for a few hours.”
“Oh, good”.
Miss Piggy snuggled even closer to him. No words were needed; being in each other’s presence was more than enough for both of them. They had realized that they had acted childish and how much it had affected their friends, especially the two who were on the plan. No one had ever said anything, which was probably why Kermit and Miss Piggy wanted to make up to them. Her suggestion was to go on vacation with all of them during the Easter holidays. He found he liked the idea; after all they could all take a week off. They only had to convince the network.
The Muppet Theater bustled with activity. Just like the day before, Rowlf rehearsed his poem, with the snowball fight in the background, Annie Sue and Link ice-skating and the storm. The snowball fight had included more Muppets. Then, when spring arrived, the Muppets played tag or danced in the background while it was drizzling. Next was summer, where the Muppets played volleyball in the background or sunbathed. Autumn had them dressing up for Halloween and going trick-or-treating. There where other Muppets in the background with every change of season. Beauregard cleaned the stage after they were done and he, Scooter and Julie set up the stage for the next sketch. The background was an azure sky with fluffy-looking clouds and a lush meadow. Fake flowers and trees are strategically placed, creating a pathway. Beauregard closed the curtain. On his cue, Sam The Eagle appeared.
“And now, the very talented Wayne and Wanda with a socially acceptable performance”, he announced before leaving the stage. The curtains opened and Wayne and Wanda, both dressed in nineteenth century style, walked down the path. Wayne started to sing:
Mary loves the flowers!
Ah! How happy they!
E'en their darkest hours,
To me were bright, bright summer day.
Julie was surprised to see everything going swimmingly. She had never watched a Wayne and Wanda sketch rehearsal before. It was always the end product when she saw it and it never lasted for more than a minute.
“I bet five dollars that something involving the weather machine will happen!”, she heard Scooter say. Wondering what that meant, she turned around and saw Scooter, Fozzie, Gonzo, Rizzo, Crazy Harry and Camilla sitting in a circle.
“I bet ten dollars something will explode”, said Crazy Harry. Julie approached as Gonzo announced that he bets five dollars that the stage lighting will be broken. It was then Julie saw that Camilla wrote everything down.
“Er what are you doing?”
“Just betting what will happen in the actual show”, answered Scooter. At Julie’s confused expression, he elaborated: “You see how well the rehearsal goes but every time they perform for the show, something happens. And we bet what will happen.”
“Yeah, it’s us five and Camilla writes down everyone’s bet”, explained Gonzo. “But she doesn’t participate.”
“Kermit doesn’t really approve but he doesn’t do anything to stop us from betting”, said Fozzie light-heartedly. But his expression slowly changed into one of wondering and frowning. “By the way, has anyone seen him today? Or Miss Piggy?”
The others shook their heads.
“Wait a minute”, Julie started to say slowly. “Has anyone gone back and gotten them out of the closet last night?”
Stunned silence was her answer. Everyone looked at each other. Their faces clearly said the same thing they said all at once:
“Oh crap!”
The six Muppets and the humans stood in front of the broom closet. They wore armors to make sure Miss Piggy would not hit them quite hard with her karate chop. But as they opened the door, the realized they were gone.
“They are gone!”, observed Fozzie.
“No, really?”, responded Julie, her voice laced with sarcasm.
“This is no time for sarcasm. We have to find them”, said Scooter. Suddenly Beauregard appeared next to them:
“There’s nothing interesting anymore. But last night, I found Kermit and Miss Piggy in there, whatever they were doing in there.”
Everyone else stared at him. But he seemed to be unimpressed as he walked into the closet and started to take some things out.
“Beauregard, you suggested last Sunday we should lock them up in there”, explained Gonzo.
“I thought you were talking about brooms”, Beauregard replied as he took a broom, a mop, a bucket and polish, and left the others, who were looking at him strangely, alone again. At least they knew Kermit and Miss Piggy had been let out but not where they are.
“Maybe they’re both at home!”, Scooter exclaimed. “I’m gonna call them and you continue your work here, guys.”
With that he hurried off, leaving his friends behind. They shrugged and decided to take the armor off.
An hour later, Scooter, who had also taken off the armor, went to look for the others. On his way, he passed several Muppets who either sat and talked to each other or left for a lunch break. Once or twice, someone invited him to join them but he ignored them. There were more important things to matter about at the moment. Scooter eventually found Julie painting another prop.
“Does anyone ever find her in these stories doing something else than painting?”, he muttered to himself as he approached her. He saw that Hilda was there, too. The elderly Muppet held a dress in front of Julie. It was a lavender dress decorated with ruffles and ribbons.
“It looks really good but I think there should be less ruffles and the ribbons need to go. It really does look like it could fit in a Wild Western setting but better ask Miss Piggy. It’s her costume after all.”
“Thank you, dearie. But have you seen her today?”
Julie shook her head to answer. Scooter decided to finally join their conversation:
“I tried to call Kermit’s place but no one answers and nobody answers at Miss Piggy’s place either.”
Both looked at him while he was speaking. But when he was done, the younger of the two glanced everywhere and bit her finger in thought. Hilda, however, simply looked over at a spot on the wall next to Scooter.
“Why don’t you just break the glass case, Scooter?”
At this, both the go-fer and the assistance looked at the same spot on the wall. There really was a glass case. Inside of it, there was a big red button and underneath was a note.
“Use in case Kermit stays with Miss Piggy and both fail to turn up at the Muppet Theater”, read Julie aloud. Afterwards her face clearly showed an expression of being not so surprised, but more of being concerned. “I’m not gonna ask.”
Scooter ignored her. He took out a hammer out of his pocket and broke the glass case. Then he pushed a button and a something that sounded like farm animals singing Old McDonald was heard for a view seconds.
“What exactly does it do?”, asked the German girl.
“No idea”, said Scooter and shrugged. “I didn’t even know we had that button.”
Somewhere else in the city, a pig and a frog got scared when they suddenly heard farm animals singing and something popping out of thin air. A note, rolled up and tied with a glaring red ribbon, lay on the fluffy, white carpet. Kermit walked over and picked it up.
“Come to the Muppet Theater at once. Otherwise, we’ll be having frog legs and pork roast for dinner”, he read aloud. If he had eyebrows, he would be raising them. “Who wrote this?”
Miss Piggy took her royal blue dressing gown and got dressed in it as she joins Kermit and read over his shoulder. She wished she knew whose handwriting it was for she would really like to give him a piece of her mind. No one dared to threat to make frog legs out of her frog or to make pork roast out of her.
“We better go. I’m not keen on us being served for dinner”, said Kermit as he threw the note in the waste basket.
Some time later, Kermit and Miss Piggy arrived in the Theater. They spotted Scooter and Julie, both having clipboards and a pencil, and Gonzo. The blue Muppet used one arm for wild gestures while talking and they could swear he said something about a bear. Suddenly, he turned around and spotted Kermit and Miss Piggy.
“Kermit! Miss Piggy! Where have you been? What have you been doing?”, he greeted them.
“I don’t think I wanna know”, muttered Julie to Scooter. The go-fer ignored her and approached the other two. Julie decided to lead Gonzo away.
“So, ehm, how’s it going?”, Kermit asked uncomfortable. He felt a little awkward appearing far later than everyone else with no explanation and it was not really something he would be willing to explain.
“Well, we slightly changed Rowlf’s act, there are now more snowball fighters and we have decided for autumn to have the others go trick-or-treating. And everything for Wayne and Wanda is finished. Julie’s almost finished with the background for the Wild Western sketch – by the way, Miss Piggy, Hilda wants to speak with you about your costume – and we’re just preparing Gonzo’s act”, Scooter rattled everything in high-speed off. Kermit and Miss Piggy actually needed a while to comprehend what he had said. The sow nodded and was about to go off and find Hilda when she heard Kermit asking Scooter something else:
“Scooter, do you happen to know who stuffed us in the broom closet yesterday?”
Under the frog and the pig’s interested and expectant looks, the go-fer told them everything about what happened in Julie’s apartment last Sunday:
“We all met at Julie’s apartment last Sunday. We told her what has been happening since the telethon. Doctor Teeth told us why he was together with Miss Piggy and Julie, who by the way is a really good baker, told us the reason why she was dating Kermit. Some of us suggested plans on how to put an end to this and we decided on the broom closet idea.”
“And every Muppet was there?”, asked Kermit.
“Ah no, there were only me and Fozzie, Gonzo, Walter, The Electric Mayhem, Rizzo, Bunsen, Beaker, Camilla, Rowlf, the Swedish Chef, Sam, Robin, Lew Zealand, Crazy Harry, Beauregard and Uncle Deadly”, answered Scooter, counting his fingers.
“So that’s where Robin was! And he told me he’s with the Frog Scouts.”
Well, it seemed as if no one would be punished… at least Scooter hoped so. After all, everything ended up alright. He could hardly remember the last time both Kermit and Miss Piggy were comfortable in each others presence for more than five seconds. Scooter decided to see how Gonzo was doing and left them alone.
Gonzo was situated high on top of a pole, so high he was only a little speck on the ceiling. There was another pole. Both were connected by a rope and a unicycle stood next to Gonzo. On the stage was a wooden tub filled with green colored jello and custard. Rizzo had to be held back by what it seemed to be every Muppet as to hinder him from eating all the jello. In fact, there were dozens of rat traps on the stage to stop every rat in the theater.
“Ladies and gentlemen! From up here, I will ride the unicycle to the center of the rope and jump in the jello-filled tub with my eyes blindfolded and to the music of Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries!”
Lights dimmed, music started. The spotlight focused on Gonzo who climbed on the unicycle. He covered his eyes with a blindfold before riding the unicycle from the platform over the rope until he was directly above the tub. The others watched him as he jumped high in the air and made various figures while falling in the jello. Upon landing in the food, he splashed the immediate area around the tub with green jello and custard. Then Gonzo emerged and climbed out of the tub, miraculously avoiding the rat traps. He walked over to his friends, never stepping in the rat traps, which astonished those rats who had tried to get to the jello. He took off the blindfold.
“What?”, he said as he noticed the rats’ stare. One of them pointed to the traps behind Gonzo. The blue Muppet turned around and, upon seeing the traps, let out a disappointed sigh. “You guys get all the fun.”
“Alright everyone, let’s clear the stage. And we better put the jello somewhere the rats can never find it”, Scooter said. Gonzo was eager to help pick up the rat traps while various Muppets gathered around the tub and carried it off to who knew where.
“Hey Scooter, what happened after me and Gonzo left you with Kermit and Miss Piggy alone?”, asked Julie as she helped supervising the cleaning.
“They asked me if I knew who locked them up yesterday.”
“And did you tell them?”
“Um, yes”, answered Scooter, smiling sheepishly. “But I don’t think any of us gets punished.”
“I hope so, I really like working here.”
Later, the stage was clean of jello and custard. Props for a Wild Western town stood in place. Walter, Rowlf, Wayne, Wanda, Annie Sue, Link and Miss Piggy were all background characters. Walter and Link were dressed like stereotypical cowboys; Wayne was dressed like the guy who measured the new sheriff for a coffin. Wanda was dressed like a school teacher, with her hair in a tight bun and the dress colored midnight blue. Annie Sue’s dress was light blue and she also wore an apron, while Miss Piggy was wearing a lavender prairie dancer dress, which still had the ribbons and ruffles. Rowlf was dressed like the piano player in the saloon. On one end was Kermit, with a cowboy hat on his head, a belt with gun holsters, leather boots and a red bandana around his neck. Additionally he wore a vest with a sheriff star. Fozzie was on the other side, wearing a black hat and poncho. Both slowly and dramatically approached each other, all the while glaring. The on-lookers watched in awe when they were only a few feet apart.
“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us”, said Fozzie, doing his best impersonation of an outlaw. “Draw!”
Both the frog and the bear pulled out a sketch pad and coloring pencils and started to draw. Walter bit his nails in nervousness while Link and Rowlf were betting the outcome. Miss Piggy looked at Kermit, as if fearing for his life. The others alternatively looked at Kermit and Fozzie, as if following a tennis match. Eventually both put their pencils away. Glaring at each other, Fozzie said:
“Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be”
“Then… three… two… one.”
Fozzie and Kermit revealed their drawing. The on-lookers gasped in excitement. Kermit had drawn Fozzie in his current outfit, although it looked like a kid had drawn it. Fozzie’s picture was just an unshapely green blob.
“Well, you have lost. Leave the town.”
Fozzie growled and swiftly turned around, leaving the stage. The sketch ended with Miss Piggy hugging Kermit.
The Wild Western sketch was the last sketch to be rehearsed that day. Robin, who had turned up some time during the afternoon, waited for his Uncle Kermit. He hoped he would come to the Boarding House that day. Some Muppets greeted him as they walked past him, others briefly chatted with him. As Julie walked past him, she gave him a friendly smile and waved at him. Finally, Kermit arrived in company with Miss Piggy.
“Oh, hey, Robin. When’d you get here?”, said Kermit as he spotted his nephew.
“An hour ago. Uncle Kermit, are you going to come home today?”
“Well… um”, Kermit uncertainly glanced at Miss Piggy. To his relief, she smiled encouragingly.
“Go on, there’s actually something I have to take care off”, she said. Kermit smiled in relief before kissing her goodbye. Then he took his nephew’s hand and both frogs walked out of the theater.
A humming Julie took the muffins out of the oven. The delicious smell of freshly baked muffins wafted through the whole apartment. She put the muffin tray on the cooling rack before going to the living room. There she did one of her favorite things in the whole wide world, surfing the internet. Should one tell her one could live without the internet, she would officially declare him as mad. Of course, one must not think this was the only thing she does. No, she gladly spent time with others when they ask her. The door bell rang. Wondering who it could be, she went to the hall and opened the door. To her surprise, it was a very fashionably dressed pig.
“Hello, Julie, may I come in?”, Miss Piggy asked. Perplexed, Julie just nodded in answer. Miss Piggy entered, looking around. Julie led her to the living room.
“Have a seat”, she said. Miss Piggy sat on a couch, still looking around. She noticed the living room had peach colored wallpaper and a fluffy cream colored carpet. Furthermore, the room was not entirely furnished; there were only a desk with a computer, shelves filled with DVDs, Blu Rays and books and a small cupboard where a television set along with either a DVD or a Blu Ray player could fit. Then there were the coffee table, the couch and the settees. There were no decorations.
“Yeah, um, I haven’t had the money to finish furnishing yet. Most of the money I got from my parents is already spent and I do need to live”, Julie explained. “But what can I do for you?”
“I wanted to talk to you”, the sow replied. Julie felt her heart beating faster. Her face went pale but she tried to not show her fear.
“Um, about what?”, she asked, while tugging her dark blonde hair behind her ear. She wished she was still wearing the armor.
“Kermie told moi everything. Vous agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend to make moi jealous. He told me you doubted it would work and Scooter told nous that you were the mastermind of the incident with moi and Kermie in the broom closet”, said Miss Piggy. “And I wanted to know, why?”
“Why are you sometimes using French personal pronouns and sometimes English personal pronouns? But to answer your question, because I hoped, at first, it would work. He never paid attention to the rehearsals; it was enough to drive me and Scooter up the wall. He was always looking at you. When I realized it wouldn’t work, I tried to get him to stop this. That’s why I invited the Muppets here on Sunday. I wanted to know the whole story and I told them my part. I asked them if they had an idea what we could do. I chose Beauregard’s idea. I distracted Kermit the next day for Fozzie, Gonzo and Rowlf to knock him out. Although I was supposed to do it but I overslept and forgot my book that day. Doctor Teeth distracted you for Janice, Lips and Zoot to knock you out. Sweetums carried you two to the closet and Beauregard locked you in.”
Miss Piggy was surprised. She never had really expected an answer. If she had not been there, she would not have believed that the ever so quiet Julie could speak more than two words at once. But there was more she wanted to know:
“Kermie told moi he chose you because you have a frog fetish. Is this true?”
“I have no frog fetish. What gave him the id-”, Julie fell silent. Her mouth formed an ‘o’ and she looked as if she suddenly understood something. “He must have overheard me when I joked to Scooter how kissable frogs are. It was just an allusion to The Frog Prince. I had my Grimm’s fairytale book with me that day.”
Julie took a big white book from the shelf. She held it up and Miss Piggy saw something written on the cover in German: Grimms Märchen.
“I told Scooter that in here, the princess chucks the frog against a wall and he transforms. Then I told him that I have somewhere a small box with a selected collection of Grimm’s fairytales. Among was The Frog Prince and in that version, the princess kisses the frog. That was when I said frogs are kissable.”
“So, moi won’t have to worry about vous stealing my frog?”, asked Miss Piggy.
“No, you won’t have to”, replied Julie, who was very relieved that she had not been karate-chopped. Feeling relaxed, she decided to sit down, too. “If you have to know, I like the nerdy, geeky guys. I rather have someone with more brains than brawns but someone who stands up to bullies and who loves me for me. I see Kermit more of a good friend, nothing else. But right now, I’m content with being single.”
“And what if you fall for someone?”
“If it happens, it happens.”
Miss Piggy nodded in response but did not say anything at all. She just looked at Julie as if waiting for her to continue.
“Besides I still have to get settled in. Romance is on the bottom of my list. Many of the Muppets may come to talk to me but I simply like being alone. I don’t mind it at all when they approach me, but I’m just too shy to start a conversation. And if I do say something, it’s not really something to start a conversation with”, Julie smiled gently while saying this. “I don’t know if you have noticed but I’ve started to open up. You are all so great, crazy and weird. I feel comfortable in such company. The part of Germany I lived in is really boring, there was nothing exciting. Although there is a kind of zoo where they only keep different kinds of birds.”
Julie suddenly began to chuckle
“What’s so funny?”, asked Miss Piggy with genuine interest.
“Nothing, I only remembered what happened there when I was there on my seventeenth birthday”, replied the still chuckling German girl. Miss Piggy looked at expectantly and she added: “When we got to the ducks and geese, there was also a small family with a toddler. He had a pacifier in his mouth and his parents had lifted him for him to have a better look. He sneezed and his pacifier landed in the pond. The ducks and geese all took it in their beak! I laughed so hard! Oh, and there was also a duck with an Elvis hair style.”
Still laughing, Julie stood up and walked over to the computer. After a few clicks, she gestured Miss Piggy to come over to her. She did so and when she saw the photos, she also let out a laugh.
“Yeah, there were some funny things in my life. But the fondest memories I have are my trip to London and seeing the musical The Lion King in Hamburg”, Julie stared straight ahead, with her eyes half-closed and a dreamy smile on her face. She let out a dreamy sigh. “Oh, I wish I could see another musical, I just love ‘em, even though I’ve only seen Dirty Dancing and The Lion King.”
Another dreamy sigh escaped her. She got into a more comfortable position, with her legs crossed and her head leaning against her arm.
“Moi has got a question, how come vous don’t have a German accent when you’re supposed to have one?”, asked Miss Piggy. She had listened to everything Julie had said in the last five minutes and found that she really had opened up. She thought Julie was a nice person, but not a good hostess.
“Must’ve lost it some time before the first story”, shrugged Julie.
“I have often seen German women wearing dirndls on TV. Did you wear one back in Germany, too?”, asked Miss Piggy very interested as she sat back down on the couch. Julie raised her eyebrow.
“Um no, why? Are you planning to wear one? Those are actually Bavarian, I’m from Northern Germany. I haven’t even seen a dirndl or lederhosen in my life!”
“And don’t expect me to wear one in one of the other stories”, she added, looking straight at the readers.
“Who are you talking to?”
“No idea.”
Both females sat in silence. Miss Piggy in a straight, but relaxed posture as if she was being photographed. Julie even briefly glanced to the window, expecting to see paparazzi and seeing none.
“I’m sorry if I’m not a good hostess”, said Julie a few moments later. “But maybe we can have a girls’ night some time in future.”
“Oui, we can, but I’m still mad at you for locking me in that closet and Scooter gave moi a little piece of vital information”, Miss Piggy responded. Julie gulped as her eyes widened. Maybe she was better off not saying anything. Miss Piggy slowly walked over to her, like a zombie would approach its victim, in a slow, menacing walk. Only her arms were not outstretched. She stopped just a few feet in front of her.
“Scooter said you can bake really well”, she said. “So, I would like to try a cake.”
“Oh, if that’s it. I can provide muffins, no problemo”, answered Julie, clearly relieved. She went to the kitchen and almost immediately came back with the now cooled of muffin tray.
“I hope you like chocolate and blueberries.”
Miss Piggy daintily took one and examined it. She took a little bite only to shove to whole muffin in her mouth.
“Should Kermie ever ask me to marry him, I hire vous to bake the wedding cake!”, she announced, proceeding to take another muffin.
“More like wedding muffins”, replied Julie as she also took one.
The End
Little bit of trivia: the thing with the ducks and geese Julie mentions really happened on my seventeenth birthday. If I find the photos, I'm going to post them here
The trip to London and seeing the musicals Dirty Dancing and The Lion King, both were at the time in Hamburg before the former was relocated in Berlin, were also things that happened in my life. Oh, and I really own the book Julie shows Miss Piggy.
I hope you enjoy it
The Next Day
Kermit and Miss Piggy had spent the night in her apartment. The sun shone on the frog’s face, waking him up. He looked at her still sleeping form and smiled peacefully. Maybe he should thank whoever knocked him and her out and locked them in the broom closet. He wondered if anyone knew who did this. He would ask them later in the theater. But now, he would savor this moment with Miss Piggy. Kermit looked around for he did not have a chance to do so the night before. The room was not as large as Miss Piggy would have normally liked it, but it was quite big. A large white wardrobe with golden adornments took up most of the space of the opposite wall. Various pictures in golden frames, most of them featuring her, decorated the walls. Looking around, he saw every piece of furniture was very expensive. Maybe she had earned a lot of money over the years, he thought. All in all, Miss Piggy’s bedroom looked like it could be a room of a mansion. His thoughts were interrupted when she snuggled closer to him. Her eyes slowly opened and she smiled at her frog.
“Bonjour”, she said.
“Good morning to you, too”, said Kermit and he kissed her. Miss Piggy sighed happily and closed her eyes.
“Do we have to get up?”
“I think the others can live without us for a few hours.”
“Oh, good”.
Miss Piggy snuggled even closer to him. No words were needed; being in each other’s presence was more than enough for both of them. They had realized that they had acted childish and how much it had affected their friends, especially the two who were on the plan. No one had ever said anything, which was probably why Kermit and Miss Piggy wanted to make up to them. Her suggestion was to go on vacation with all of them during the Easter holidays. He found he liked the idea; after all they could all take a week off. They only had to convince the network.
The Muppet Theater bustled with activity. Just like the day before, Rowlf rehearsed his poem, with the snowball fight in the background, Annie Sue and Link ice-skating and the storm. The snowball fight had included more Muppets. Then, when spring arrived, the Muppets played tag or danced in the background while it was drizzling. Next was summer, where the Muppets played volleyball in the background or sunbathed. Autumn had them dressing up for Halloween and going trick-or-treating. There where other Muppets in the background with every change of season. Beauregard cleaned the stage after they were done and he, Scooter and Julie set up the stage for the next sketch. The background was an azure sky with fluffy-looking clouds and a lush meadow. Fake flowers and trees are strategically placed, creating a pathway. Beauregard closed the curtain. On his cue, Sam The Eagle appeared.
“And now, the very talented Wayne and Wanda with a socially acceptable performance”, he announced before leaving the stage. The curtains opened and Wayne and Wanda, both dressed in nineteenth century style, walked down the path. Wayne started to sing:
Mary loves the flowers!
Ah! How happy they!
E'en their darkest hours,
To me were bright, bright summer day.
Julie was surprised to see everything going swimmingly. She had never watched a Wayne and Wanda sketch rehearsal before. It was always the end product when she saw it and it never lasted for more than a minute.
“I bet five dollars that something involving the weather machine will happen!”, she heard Scooter say. Wondering what that meant, she turned around and saw Scooter, Fozzie, Gonzo, Rizzo, Crazy Harry and Camilla sitting in a circle.
“I bet ten dollars something will explode”, said Crazy Harry. Julie approached as Gonzo announced that he bets five dollars that the stage lighting will be broken. It was then Julie saw that Camilla wrote everything down.
“Er what are you doing?”
“Just betting what will happen in the actual show”, answered Scooter. At Julie’s confused expression, he elaborated: “You see how well the rehearsal goes but every time they perform for the show, something happens. And we bet what will happen.”
“Yeah, it’s us five and Camilla writes down everyone’s bet”, explained Gonzo. “But she doesn’t participate.”
“Kermit doesn’t really approve but he doesn’t do anything to stop us from betting”, said Fozzie light-heartedly. But his expression slowly changed into one of wondering and frowning. “By the way, has anyone seen him today? Or Miss Piggy?”
The others shook their heads.
“Wait a minute”, Julie started to say slowly. “Has anyone gone back and gotten them out of the closet last night?”
Stunned silence was her answer. Everyone looked at each other. Their faces clearly said the same thing they said all at once:
“Oh crap!”
The six Muppets and the humans stood in front of the broom closet. They wore armors to make sure Miss Piggy would not hit them quite hard with her karate chop. But as they opened the door, the realized they were gone.
“They are gone!”, observed Fozzie.
“No, really?”, responded Julie, her voice laced with sarcasm.
“This is no time for sarcasm. We have to find them”, said Scooter. Suddenly Beauregard appeared next to them:
“There’s nothing interesting anymore. But last night, I found Kermit and Miss Piggy in there, whatever they were doing in there.”
Everyone else stared at him. But he seemed to be unimpressed as he walked into the closet and started to take some things out.
“Beauregard, you suggested last Sunday we should lock them up in there”, explained Gonzo.
“I thought you were talking about brooms”, Beauregard replied as he took a broom, a mop, a bucket and polish, and left the others, who were looking at him strangely, alone again. At least they knew Kermit and Miss Piggy had been let out but not where they are.
“Maybe they’re both at home!”, Scooter exclaimed. “I’m gonna call them and you continue your work here, guys.”
With that he hurried off, leaving his friends behind. They shrugged and decided to take the armor off.
An hour later, Scooter, who had also taken off the armor, went to look for the others. On his way, he passed several Muppets who either sat and talked to each other or left for a lunch break. Once or twice, someone invited him to join them but he ignored them. There were more important things to matter about at the moment. Scooter eventually found Julie painting another prop.
“Does anyone ever find her in these stories doing something else than painting?”, he muttered to himself as he approached her. He saw that Hilda was there, too. The elderly Muppet held a dress in front of Julie. It was a lavender dress decorated with ruffles and ribbons.
“It looks really good but I think there should be less ruffles and the ribbons need to go. It really does look like it could fit in a Wild Western setting but better ask Miss Piggy. It’s her costume after all.”
“Thank you, dearie. But have you seen her today?”
Julie shook her head to answer. Scooter decided to finally join their conversation:
“I tried to call Kermit’s place but no one answers and nobody answers at Miss Piggy’s place either.”
Both looked at him while he was speaking. But when he was done, the younger of the two glanced everywhere and bit her finger in thought. Hilda, however, simply looked over at a spot on the wall next to Scooter.
“Why don’t you just break the glass case, Scooter?”
At this, both the go-fer and the assistance looked at the same spot on the wall. There really was a glass case. Inside of it, there was a big red button and underneath was a note.
“Use in case Kermit stays with Miss Piggy and both fail to turn up at the Muppet Theater”, read Julie aloud. Afterwards her face clearly showed an expression of being not so surprised, but more of being concerned. “I’m not gonna ask.”
Scooter ignored her. He took out a hammer out of his pocket and broke the glass case. Then he pushed a button and a something that sounded like farm animals singing Old McDonald was heard for a view seconds.
“What exactly does it do?”, asked the German girl.
“No idea”, said Scooter and shrugged. “I didn’t even know we had that button.”
Somewhere else in the city, a pig and a frog got scared when they suddenly heard farm animals singing and something popping out of thin air. A note, rolled up and tied with a glaring red ribbon, lay on the fluffy, white carpet. Kermit walked over and picked it up.
“Come to the Muppet Theater at once. Otherwise, we’ll be having frog legs and pork roast for dinner”, he read aloud. If he had eyebrows, he would be raising them. “Who wrote this?”
Miss Piggy took her royal blue dressing gown and got dressed in it as she joins Kermit and read over his shoulder. She wished she knew whose handwriting it was for she would really like to give him a piece of her mind. No one dared to threat to make frog legs out of her frog or to make pork roast out of her.
“We better go. I’m not keen on us being served for dinner”, said Kermit as he threw the note in the waste basket.
Some time later, Kermit and Miss Piggy arrived in the Theater. They spotted Scooter and Julie, both having clipboards and a pencil, and Gonzo. The blue Muppet used one arm for wild gestures while talking and they could swear he said something about a bear. Suddenly, he turned around and spotted Kermit and Miss Piggy.
“Kermit! Miss Piggy! Where have you been? What have you been doing?”, he greeted them.
“I don’t think I wanna know”, muttered Julie to Scooter. The go-fer ignored her and approached the other two. Julie decided to lead Gonzo away.
“So, ehm, how’s it going?”, Kermit asked uncomfortable. He felt a little awkward appearing far later than everyone else with no explanation and it was not really something he would be willing to explain.
“Well, we slightly changed Rowlf’s act, there are now more snowball fighters and we have decided for autumn to have the others go trick-or-treating. And everything for Wayne and Wanda is finished. Julie’s almost finished with the background for the Wild Western sketch – by the way, Miss Piggy, Hilda wants to speak with you about your costume – and we’re just preparing Gonzo’s act”, Scooter rattled everything in high-speed off. Kermit and Miss Piggy actually needed a while to comprehend what he had said. The sow nodded and was about to go off and find Hilda when she heard Kermit asking Scooter something else:
“Scooter, do you happen to know who stuffed us in the broom closet yesterday?”
Under the frog and the pig’s interested and expectant looks, the go-fer told them everything about what happened in Julie’s apartment last Sunday:
“We all met at Julie’s apartment last Sunday. We told her what has been happening since the telethon. Doctor Teeth told us why he was together with Miss Piggy and Julie, who by the way is a really good baker, told us the reason why she was dating Kermit. Some of us suggested plans on how to put an end to this and we decided on the broom closet idea.”
“And every Muppet was there?”, asked Kermit.
“Ah no, there were only me and Fozzie, Gonzo, Walter, The Electric Mayhem, Rizzo, Bunsen, Beaker, Camilla, Rowlf, the Swedish Chef, Sam, Robin, Lew Zealand, Crazy Harry, Beauregard and Uncle Deadly”, answered Scooter, counting his fingers.
“So that’s where Robin was! And he told me he’s with the Frog Scouts.”
Well, it seemed as if no one would be punished… at least Scooter hoped so. After all, everything ended up alright. He could hardly remember the last time both Kermit and Miss Piggy were comfortable in each others presence for more than five seconds. Scooter decided to see how Gonzo was doing and left them alone.
Gonzo was situated high on top of a pole, so high he was only a little speck on the ceiling. There was another pole. Both were connected by a rope and a unicycle stood next to Gonzo. On the stage was a wooden tub filled with green colored jello and custard. Rizzo had to be held back by what it seemed to be every Muppet as to hinder him from eating all the jello. In fact, there were dozens of rat traps on the stage to stop every rat in the theater.
“Ladies and gentlemen! From up here, I will ride the unicycle to the center of the rope and jump in the jello-filled tub with my eyes blindfolded and to the music of Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries!”
Lights dimmed, music started. The spotlight focused on Gonzo who climbed on the unicycle. He covered his eyes with a blindfold before riding the unicycle from the platform over the rope until he was directly above the tub. The others watched him as he jumped high in the air and made various figures while falling in the jello. Upon landing in the food, he splashed the immediate area around the tub with green jello and custard. Then Gonzo emerged and climbed out of the tub, miraculously avoiding the rat traps. He walked over to his friends, never stepping in the rat traps, which astonished those rats who had tried to get to the jello. He took off the blindfold.
“What?”, he said as he noticed the rats’ stare. One of them pointed to the traps behind Gonzo. The blue Muppet turned around and, upon seeing the traps, let out a disappointed sigh. “You guys get all the fun.”
“Alright everyone, let’s clear the stage. And we better put the jello somewhere the rats can never find it”, Scooter said. Gonzo was eager to help pick up the rat traps while various Muppets gathered around the tub and carried it off to who knew where.
“Hey Scooter, what happened after me and Gonzo left you with Kermit and Miss Piggy alone?”, asked Julie as she helped supervising the cleaning.
“They asked me if I knew who locked them up yesterday.”
“And did you tell them?”
“Um, yes”, answered Scooter, smiling sheepishly. “But I don’t think any of us gets punished.”
“I hope so, I really like working here.”
Later, the stage was clean of jello and custard. Props for a Wild Western town stood in place. Walter, Rowlf, Wayne, Wanda, Annie Sue, Link and Miss Piggy were all background characters. Walter and Link were dressed like stereotypical cowboys; Wayne was dressed like the guy who measured the new sheriff for a coffin. Wanda was dressed like a school teacher, with her hair in a tight bun and the dress colored midnight blue. Annie Sue’s dress was light blue and she also wore an apron, while Miss Piggy was wearing a lavender prairie dancer dress, which still had the ribbons and ruffles. Rowlf was dressed like the piano player in the saloon. On one end was Kermit, with a cowboy hat on his head, a belt with gun holsters, leather boots and a red bandana around his neck. Additionally he wore a vest with a sheriff star. Fozzie was on the other side, wearing a black hat and poncho. Both slowly and dramatically approached each other, all the while glaring. The on-lookers watched in awe when they were only a few feet apart.
“This town ain’t big enough for the both of us”, said Fozzie, doing his best impersonation of an outlaw. “Draw!”
Both the frog and the bear pulled out a sketch pad and coloring pencils and started to draw. Walter bit his nails in nervousness while Link and Rowlf were betting the outcome. Miss Piggy looked at Kermit, as if fearing for his life. The others alternatively looked at Kermit and Fozzie, as if following a tennis match. Eventually both put their pencils away. Glaring at each other, Fozzie said:
“Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be”
“Then… three… two… one.”
Fozzie and Kermit revealed their drawing. The on-lookers gasped in excitement. Kermit had drawn Fozzie in his current outfit, although it looked like a kid had drawn it. Fozzie’s picture was just an unshapely green blob.
“Well, you have lost. Leave the town.”
Fozzie growled and swiftly turned around, leaving the stage. The sketch ended with Miss Piggy hugging Kermit.
The Wild Western sketch was the last sketch to be rehearsed that day. Robin, who had turned up some time during the afternoon, waited for his Uncle Kermit. He hoped he would come to the Boarding House that day. Some Muppets greeted him as they walked past him, others briefly chatted with him. As Julie walked past him, she gave him a friendly smile and waved at him. Finally, Kermit arrived in company with Miss Piggy.
“Oh, hey, Robin. When’d you get here?”, said Kermit as he spotted his nephew.
“An hour ago. Uncle Kermit, are you going to come home today?”
“Well… um”, Kermit uncertainly glanced at Miss Piggy. To his relief, she smiled encouragingly.
“Go on, there’s actually something I have to take care off”, she said. Kermit smiled in relief before kissing her goodbye. Then he took his nephew’s hand and both frogs walked out of the theater.
A humming Julie took the muffins out of the oven. The delicious smell of freshly baked muffins wafted through the whole apartment. She put the muffin tray on the cooling rack before going to the living room. There she did one of her favorite things in the whole wide world, surfing the internet. Should one tell her one could live without the internet, she would officially declare him as mad. Of course, one must not think this was the only thing she does. No, she gladly spent time with others when they ask her. The door bell rang. Wondering who it could be, she went to the hall and opened the door. To her surprise, it was a very fashionably dressed pig.
“Hello, Julie, may I come in?”, Miss Piggy asked. Perplexed, Julie just nodded in answer. Miss Piggy entered, looking around. Julie led her to the living room.
“Have a seat”, she said. Miss Piggy sat on a couch, still looking around. She noticed the living room had peach colored wallpaper and a fluffy cream colored carpet. Furthermore, the room was not entirely furnished; there were only a desk with a computer, shelves filled with DVDs, Blu Rays and books and a small cupboard where a television set along with either a DVD or a Blu Ray player could fit. Then there were the coffee table, the couch and the settees. There were no decorations.
“Yeah, um, I haven’t had the money to finish furnishing yet. Most of the money I got from my parents is already spent and I do need to live”, Julie explained. “But what can I do for you?”
“I wanted to talk to you”, the sow replied. Julie felt her heart beating faster. Her face went pale but she tried to not show her fear.
“Um, about what?”, she asked, while tugging her dark blonde hair behind her ear. She wished she was still wearing the armor.
“Kermie told moi everything. Vous agreed to pretend to be his girlfriend to make moi jealous. He told me you doubted it would work and Scooter told nous that you were the mastermind of the incident with moi and Kermie in the broom closet”, said Miss Piggy. “And I wanted to know, why?”
“Why are you sometimes using French personal pronouns and sometimes English personal pronouns? But to answer your question, because I hoped, at first, it would work. He never paid attention to the rehearsals; it was enough to drive me and Scooter up the wall. He was always looking at you. When I realized it wouldn’t work, I tried to get him to stop this. That’s why I invited the Muppets here on Sunday. I wanted to know the whole story and I told them my part. I asked them if they had an idea what we could do. I chose Beauregard’s idea. I distracted Kermit the next day for Fozzie, Gonzo and Rowlf to knock him out. Although I was supposed to do it but I overslept and forgot my book that day. Doctor Teeth distracted you for Janice, Lips and Zoot to knock you out. Sweetums carried you two to the closet and Beauregard locked you in.”
Miss Piggy was surprised. She never had really expected an answer. If she had not been there, she would not have believed that the ever so quiet Julie could speak more than two words at once. But there was more she wanted to know:
“Kermie told moi he chose you because you have a frog fetish. Is this true?”
“I have no frog fetish. What gave him the id-”, Julie fell silent. Her mouth formed an ‘o’ and she looked as if she suddenly understood something. “He must have overheard me when I joked to Scooter how kissable frogs are. It was just an allusion to The Frog Prince. I had my Grimm’s fairytale book with me that day.”
Julie took a big white book from the shelf. She held it up and Miss Piggy saw something written on the cover in German: Grimms Märchen.
“I told Scooter that in here, the princess chucks the frog against a wall and he transforms. Then I told him that I have somewhere a small box with a selected collection of Grimm’s fairytales. Among was The Frog Prince and in that version, the princess kisses the frog. That was when I said frogs are kissable.”
“So, moi won’t have to worry about vous stealing my frog?”, asked Miss Piggy.
“No, you won’t have to”, replied Julie, who was very relieved that she had not been karate-chopped. Feeling relaxed, she decided to sit down, too. “If you have to know, I like the nerdy, geeky guys. I rather have someone with more brains than brawns but someone who stands up to bullies and who loves me for me. I see Kermit more of a good friend, nothing else. But right now, I’m content with being single.”
“And what if you fall for someone?”
“If it happens, it happens.”
Miss Piggy nodded in response but did not say anything at all. She just looked at Julie as if waiting for her to continue.
“Besides I still have to get settled in. Romance is on the bottom of my list. Many of the Muppets may come to talk to me but I simply like being alone. I don’t mind it at all when they approach me, but I’m just too shy to start a conversation. And if I do say something, it’s not really something to start a conversation with”, Julie smiled gently while saying this. “I don’t know if you have noticed but I’ve started to open up. You are all so great, crazy and weird. I feel comfortable in such company. The part of Germany I lived in is really boring, there was nothing exciting. Although there is a kind of zoo where they only keep different kinds of birds.”
Julie suddenly began to chuckle
“What’s so funny?”, asked Miss Piggy with genuine interest.
“Nothing, I only remembered what happened there when I was there on my seventeenth birthday”, replied the still chuckling German girl. Miss Piggy looked at expectantly and she added: “When we got to the ducks and geese, there was also a small family with a toddler. He had a pacifier in his mouth and his parents had lifted him for him to have a better look. He sneezed and his pacifier landed in the pond. The ducks and geese all took it in their beak! I laughed so hard! Oh, and there was also a duck with an Elvis hair style.”
Still laughing, Julie stood up and walked over to the computer. After a few clicks, she gestured Miss Piggy to come over to her. She did so and when she saw the photos, she also let out a laugh.
“Yeah, there were some funny things in my life. But the fondest memories I have are my trip to London and seeing the musical The Lion King in Hamburg”, Julie stared straight ahead, with her eyes half-closed and a dreamy smile on her face. She let out a dreamy sigh. “Oh, I wish I could see another musical, I just love ‘em, even though I’ve only seen Dirty Dancing and The Lion King.”
Another dreamy sigh escaped her. She got into a more comfortable position, with her legs crossed and her head leaning against her arm.
“Moi has got a question, how come vous don’t have a German accent when you’re supposed to have one?”, asked Miss Piggy. She had listened to everything Julie had said in the last five minutes and found that she really had opened up. She thought Julie was a nice person, but not a good hostess.
“Must’ve lost it some time before the first story”, shrugged Julie.
“I have often seen German women wearing dirndls on TV. Did you wear one back in Germany, too?”, asked Miss Piggy very interested as she sat back down on the couch. Julie raised her eyebrow.
“Um no, why? Are you planning to wear one? Those are actually Bavarian, I’m from Northern Germany. I haven’t even seen a dirndl or lederhosen in my life!”
“And don’t expect me to wear one in one of the other stories”, she added, looking straight at the readers.
“Who are you talking to?”
“No idea.”
Both females sat in silence. Miss Piggy in a straight, but relaxed posture as if she was being photographed. Julie even briefly glanced to the window, expecting to see paparazzi and seeing none.
“I’m sorry if I’m not a good hostess”, said Julie a few moments later. “But maybe we can have a girls’ night some time in future.”
“Oui, we can, but I’m still mad at you for locking me in that closet and Scooter gave moi a little piece of vital information”, Miss Piggy responded. Julie gulped as her eyes widened. Maybe she was better off not saying anything. Miss Piggy slowly walked over to her, like a zombie would approach its victim, in a slow, menacing walk. Only her arms were not outstretched. She stopped just a few feet in front of her.
“Scooter said you can bake really well”, she said. “So, I would like to try a cake.”
“Oh, if that’s it. I can provide muffins, no problemo”, answered Julie, clearly relieved. She went to the kitchen and almost immediately came back with the now cooled of muffin tray.
“I hope you like chocolate and blueberries.”
Miss Piggy daintily took one and examined it. She took a little bite only to shove to whole muffin in her mouth.
“Should Kermie ever ask me to marry him, I hire vous to bake the wedding cake!”, she announced, proceeding to take another muffin.
“More like wedding muffins”, replied Julie as she also took one.
The End
Little bit of trivia: the thing with the ducks and geese Julie mentions really happened on my seventeenth birthday. If I find the photos, I'm going to post them here
The trip to London and seeing the musicals Dirty Dancing and The Lion King, both were at the time in Hamburg before the former was relocated in Berlin, were also things that happened in my life. Oh, and I really own the book Julie shows Miss Piggy.
