The Muppets After The Muppets - episode 7: Studebaker Fundraiser

[minor muppetz]

Enjoy the lastest installment of "The Muppets After The Muppets".

First, past installments:

• 1. Lunch Meeting - http://www.muppetcentral.com/forum/...er-the-muppets-episode-1-lunch-meeting.49834/
• 2. Gonzo's Pain Birth Problem - http://www.muppetcentral.com/forum/...ts-episode-2-gonzos-pain-birth-problem.49872/
• 3. Trio on Tour - http://www.muppetcentral.com/forum/...ter-the-muppets-episode-3-trio-on-tour.49880/
• 4. Frognapped Kermit - http://www.muppetcentral.com/forum/...he-muppets-episode-4-frognapped-kermit.49897/
• 5. Guess What's Coming to Dinner - http://www.muppetcentral.com/forum/...episode-5-guess-whats-coming-to-dinner.49909/
• 6. Thog Off! - http://www.muppetcentral.com/forum/...muppets-episode-6-thog-off.50004/#post-862653

Act 1

The Muppets were all cramped in the car, heading to the Studebaker Museum.

“Wow, I am so excited”, said Walter, “I never thought I’d see the Studebaker from The Muppet Movie in person!”

“Did you know that in the movie, I drove the same Studebaker that I drove during the real-life events the movie was based on?”, said Fozzie.

“You mean that really happened?”, asked Walter, “I thought you all grew up in a nursery together.”

Everyone stared awkwardly.

“Just kidding!”, said Walter.

Everyone laughed.

“So I guess you didn’t really meet Sweetums at a used car dealership”, said Walter.

“Oh, yes, we did”, said Kermit.

“Speaking of which”, said Gonzo, “wasn’t Sweetums supposed to come with us?”

Cut to Sweetums, chasing the car.

“Why does this always happen to me???”, shouted Sweetums as he chased the car.

“In real life”, said Fozzie, “we traded my uncle’s Studebaker in, but we managed to find the exact Studebaker and get it back in time for the movie.”

“We got it back real cheap, too”, said Kermit.

“When they found out it was his”, said Miss Piggy, “they just couldn’t say no.”

“Oh, I should tell you the story of how I got it back”, said Fozzie.

Cut to flashback, Fozzie goes to the car, knocks on the door. Window rolls down, and it’s revealed Statler and Waldorf own the car.

“Oh, it’s that bear”, said Waldorf.

“What do you want?”, asked Statler.

“Uh, well…”, said Fozzie, “can I have my Studebaker back?”

“You mean this was once owned by you?”, asked Statler.

“Well”, said Fozzie, “it was owned by my unc…”

“How embarrassing”, said Waldorf, “of course you can have it back.”

Back to the present…

“My uncle was very mad at me when he learned I traded it in”, said Fozzie, “but he was even madder when he learned I donated it to the museum.”

“Good thing he’s hibernating again”, said ‘80s Robot.

They pulled into the museum. Sweetums had caught up, but was out of breath.

“I think I’m getting faster”, said Sweetums, breathless.

The Muppets went into the museum.

“Maybe I can do some stunts with all these cars”, said Gonzo.

“I wouldn’t recommend it”, said Rizzo.

“These cars look as old as my first piano”, said Rowlf.

“Did you say that just so you could have a line in this scene?”, asked Miss Piggy.

“Yes”, said Rowlf, ashamed.

“Say, that’s a nice green Studebaker”, said Kermit.

“It’s not fuel efficient”, said a guard.

Walter ran up to one of the tour guides.

“Hey, where’s the Studebaker from The Muppet Movie?”, asked Walter.

“Which Muppet movie?”, asked the tour guide.

“The only Muppet movie to include a Studebaker!”, said Walter, annoyed.

“Oh, I think that one’s in storage”, said the tour guide.

“Why is it in storage?”, said a slightly outraged Fozzie.

“Probably because it needs to be repaired”, said the tour guide.

“Repaired?”, asked Fozzie, “I am so outraged… So outraged… I cannot even think of a good punch line!”

“Can we at least see the Studebaker?”, said Rizzo, “I’ve never seen it before.”

“But haven’t you seen The Muppet Movie?”, asked Walter.

“Which Muppet movie?”, asked Rizzo, “Great Muppet Caper or Muppets Take Manhattan?”

“You know, The Muppet Movie”, said Fozzie, “The one you weren’t in.”

“Oh, that explains it”, said Rizzo.

“You haven’t even seen our first movie?”, asked Piggy.

“Nope”, said Rizzo, “and I haven’t seen Citizen Kane, either!”

“Follow me”, said the tour guide.

They went to the storage area to see the Studebaker.

“Wow, it does need repairs”, said Fozzie.

“I wonder if Beauregard could fix it”, said Rowlf.

“He can’t”, said Rizzo, “Bo’s not even in this scene.”

“Naturally”, said Sweetums.

“Well, how long until it’s fixed?”, asked Kermit.

“Maybe never”, said the tour guide, “it’s too expensive to fix.”

“How expensive?”, asked Fozzie.

“Too expensive”, said the tour guide.

“Wow”, said Fozzie, “that’s a lot.”

Fozzie looked out a door, facing the parking lot.

“And that’s a lot, too!”, said Fozzie, “Ahhh, get it? Wocka wocka!”

“Well… Maybe we can raise the money”, said Walter, “we can put on a show, maybe a telethon…”

“The manager says if you have a telethon you’ll need enough money pledges by the end of the show”, said the tour guide, “even if you’re a second late.”

“Whoa…”, said Sweetums.

“And we’ll need to raise a lot of money if we do a telethon”, said Kermit, “I have so many employees on staff I don’t get to live life like a millionaire.”

“Well”, said Walter, “maybe we can ask every Muppet to donate something”, said Walter.

“Montage time!”, said ‘80s Robot.

Cut to a montage, with “Money Money Money Money” playing.

First, Fozzie encountered Statler and Waldorf at a pub.

“Hey would you two please give a donation?”, asked Fozzie.

“Only if you give up show business!”, said Statler.

Statler and Waldorf laughed.

Fozzie faced his head down and walked away, sadly.

“Wait a minute”, said Waldorf, “if he gives up, who’ll we have to heckle?”

“Hey! Come back!”<,said Statler.

Walter collected money from Dr. Teeth, Floyd, Janice, Zoot, Lips, Clifford, Nigel, Johnny Fiama, and Sal.

“Well, that’s seven dollars and five cents”, said Walter, looking in his tray.

“MON-EE!”, shouted Animal, who pounced on Walter and ate the money.

“No, Animal!”, shouted Floyd.

Animal’s pupils turned to dollar signs as Animal laughed.

Next, Rowlf went to Sam the Eagle.

“I’ll donate something”, said Sam, “but is the Studebaker an American car?”

Next, Rizzo asked Pepe for some money.

“Sorry, okay”, said Pepe, “but if I donate something, I’ll have less, okay.”

Next, Miss Piggy had tied up Link Hogthrob and Dr. Strangepork.

“Now, will you two donate some money?”, said Miss Piggy.

“YES!”, cried Link.

“Just untie us!”, said Dr. Strangepork.

Screen then scrolled quickly to reveal Annie Sue, Spamela, and Miss Mousey tied up as well.

“We said we’d donate money as well!”, said Annie Sue.

“Oh, this is my favorite scene, okay!”, said Pepe.

Backstage, Kermit passed a donation jar, getting donations from Scooter, Beauregard, George, Hilda, Bobby Benson, and The Newsman, but last in line was Behemoth, who ate the jar.

“We have to stop asking the monsters for donations”, said Kermit, scrunching his face.

Next, Gonzo and Rizzo went to Lew Zealand.

“Sure, I’ll donate something”, said Lew, giving them a fish and then walking off, chuckling a bit.

Next, Rowlf sent a donation tray to Baskerville, Rover Joe, Muppy, Lyle, and Afghan Hound, but all of their donations were dog treats.

“The same basic joke as last time”, sadi Rowlf.

In the canteen…

“I am collecting donations”, said Fozzie.

“Hure, hure”, said The Swedish Chef, who put a pie into Fozzie’s face.

Next, Walter went to the control room, getting donations from Nigel the Director, Eugene, Zippety Zap, Digit, Lindbergh, some penguins, and Ted Thomas.

“Hmm”, thought Walter, “nothing funny happened this t…”

And then the donations exploded.

Finally, ‘80s Robot went to a laboratory to get a donation from Bunsen and Beaker.

“Oh, sure”, said Bunsen, “Our new money machine will get you the exact amount of money needed.”

Beaker pulled a lever, and money went flying out the machine, flooding the room.

“Well, that’s enough”, said ‘80s Robot, “but it solves the story a bit soon.”

“Oh, I’ll take care of that”, said Bunsen, “hit the reverse switch, Beaker!”

Beaker struggled to find the switch under all that money, and eventually hit the wrong switch, which swept up everything… Eventually the money, money machine, and Beaker were all gone.

“Where’s Beaker?”, said Bunsen.

 

[minor muppetz]

Act 2

Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Rizzo, Walter, and Rowlf were all in a meeting room at Muppet Studios.

“Well, we didn’t quite make enough money”, said Kermit.

“All we accomplished were a bunch of bad jokes”, said Rowlf.

“Even by the bear’s standards”, said Rizzo.

“What?”, said Fozzie.

“I made us some money”, said Miss Piggy.

“But it’s not enough”, said Fozzie, “I guess I’ll have to host a telethon.”

“But you remember what they told us at the museum”, said Walter, “if we have a telethon we’ll have to come up with the needed amount by the end of the telethon.”

“That’s a chance I’m willing to take!”, said Fozzie.

Cut to the telethon…

“Hiya, hiya, hiya!”, said Fozzie, “I am Fozzie Bear, and you’re watching The Fozzie Bear Telethon!”

The sounds of crickets chirped.

“Hmm, so they did get my invitation”, observed Kermit from the wings.

“Operators are standing by”, said Fozzie.

The operators, consisting of Emily Bear, Bobo, Dr. Teeth, Big Mean Carl, Wayne, Wanda, The Newsman, Pops, and Clifford, were up in a balcony.

“And if you’d like to come on down to the studio, our monsters will park cars for you.”

Cut to Thog stuck inside a car.

“Help! Help!”, cried Thog.

Two Mutations tried to help, one pulling on Thog’s arm, the other pushing Thog.

Back at the telethon…

“And now it’s time for an opening number”, said Fozzie, who sang “Make ‘Em Laugh”. Afterwards, nobody applauded, except his mother.

“That’s my son”, said Emily Bear.

“Well”, said Fozzie, “Let’s look at our board and see how much money’s been donated.”

Fozzie looked at the board, and saw that no money had been donated.

“Nothing?”, said Fozzie.

“Two bits!”, said Emily Bear.

A musical sting of “shave and a haircut” played, with “two bits” listed on the board at the “two bits” note.

“Well, as you can see”, said Fozzie, “we’ve bear-ly gotten any donations so far. So I’ll tell some jokes. When is the best time to give milk to a deer? When it’s a BABY deer!”

“How offensive!”, said a deer in the audience, who left, followed by other members of the audience.

“Uh, don’t go yet!”, said Fozzie, “Uh.. Uh… Let’s bring out our first special guest star, John Cleese!”

The audience applauded as John Cleese came out, waving at the audience.

“Well, that’s all I was paid to do”, said John, “See you later.”

John Cleese left, but the phones were ringing like crazy, and the amount of donated money kept going higher and higher.

“Hey, we’re making money!”, said Fozzie.

The amount of money was rising up, but then it stopped, reading “a lot, but not enough”.

Sal then barged on-stage.

“Stand aside, bear!”, said Sal, “Let’s give out a song to Johnny Fiama!”

“Thanks, Sal”, said Johnny.

“Well, uh…”, thought Fozzie, “Okay, here’s Johnny Fiama.”

“Well, the money has been coming in higher and higher”, said Johnny, “so here’s my song…”

Johnny Fiama sang a rendition of “Higher and Higher”, as the money kept pouring in.

“Donate more! Donate more!”, shouted Sal during the song.

The song ended, and the scoreboard read, “still not enough”.

“Hmm, ratings seem to be going up”, said Nigel the Director.

Fozzie went back on-stage, and the ratings dropped heavily, according to the ratings monitor.

“Well, now we’re making more money”, said Fozzie.

“Viewers must be donating to the wrong telethon!”, said Waldorf.

Statler and Waldorf laughed.

Emily Bear then answered the phone.

“Hello?” What’s that? You donated to the wrong telethon?”

“Well, uh…”, thought Fozzie.

Walter ran on-stage.

“Hey, I know!”, said Walter, who whispered into Fozzie’s ear.

“Oh, good idea!”, said Fozzie.

And then they did the next routine.

“Hiya, hiya, hiya!”, said Fozzie, “You’re a wonderful looking audience, it’s a pleasure to be here! Folks, I’ve got a story you’re gonna love to here. At the stage door, I passed a bunch of Muppet fans and suddenly I hear…”

“Good grief! The comedians a bear!”, shouted Walter.

“No, he’s-a not! He’s-a wearing-a neck-a-tie!”

Music played but nobody applauded, and no calls were made. The scoreboard read, “less than you had earlier”.

“It was funnier the first time around”, said Gonzo, backstage.

 

[minor muppetz]

Act 3

“Well, now it’s time for… Uh….”, said Fozzie, wondering what’d be next.

“Us!”, said Pepe.

Seymour and Pepe went on-stage.

“I’m Seymour”

“I’m Pepe!”

“We’re two of a kind!”

“I’m a little bit forward”

“And I’ve got a big behind.”

“Well, Seymour”

“Yes, Pepe”

“What do you think of the telethon?”

The two got stuck with a line.

“Uh…”, said Pepe, “we’re still working on that one.”

Phone calls were coming in.

“Hello? You like the shrimp?”, said Bobo, “I thought he was a king prawn.”

“You say you like the elephant better?”, asked Pops.

“What do you mean nothing has dropped on me yet?”, asked The Newsman.

“Got any rich food for me?”, asked Carl.

“Well, that was Seymour and Pepe”, said Fozzie, “and we’ve still got ways to go. And now here’s Kermit the Frog!”

“Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here!”

“Kermit”, said Fozzie, “tell them why we’re collecting money.”

“We’re collecting money to restore the Studebaker from The Muppet Movie.”

“That old piece of junk?”, said Waldorf.

“It’s not junk”, said Statler, “it’s garbage!”

But then phones were ringing non-stop.

“We might just make it, Fozzie”, said Kermit.

But then the scoreboard stopped at “still scores of ways to go”.

 

[minor muppetz]

Act 4

Everyone was backstage for a brief break.

“The show’s almost over and we still don’t have enough money and I’m all out of ideas”, said Fozzie.

“Just like a recent telethon we did”, said Floyd.

“I could tear cars apart to the tune of “Who Let the Dogs Out?”, said Gonzo, “there’s plenty in the parking lot.”

“No, Gonzo”, said Kermit.

The Swedish Chef suggested something, in a really excited-but-hard-to-understand tone.

“Uh… What?”, said Kermit.

“I can show them how to carve wooden stilts”, said Beauregard.

“Wait, I know what I can do!”, said Fozzie, who ran to the stage.

“I wonder if he knows it’s still the commercial break”, said Kermit.

And then several products were thrown at Kermit, all with name brands labeled.

“That sure is a commercial break”, said Beauregard.

“And now, to end the telethon…”

“You’re going to end early?”, said Statler, and he and Waldorf laughed.

“No”, said Fozzie.

Scooter ran on-stage.

“Hey, it’s still the commercial break”, said Scooter.

“Oh”, said Fozzie, who then noticed the “on-air” lights on.

“Oh, we’re back!”, said Fozzie, “and welcome back!”

Scooter walked back to the backstage.

“And now, we have a little something special… Here it is, the “banana sketch”!”

“Oh, I missed it the first time around”, said Kermit, watching in the wings, “I’ll finally get to see what it is.”

“You mean you STILL don’t know the banana sketch???”, asked Walter.

Fleet Scribbler then showed up.

“Say, Kermit, what’s this telethon all about?”, said Fleet.

“Not now, Mr. Scribbler”, said Kermit, “I’m trying to learn Fozzie’s joke.”

“What a headline!”, said Fleet, “Frog wants to know Bears bad joke!”

“Will you get out of here???”, said Kermit.

“Is it true the telethon is just a scheme to make money?”, said Fleet.

“No, we’re going to donate the money to the Studebaker museum!”, said Kermit.

Kermit tried to get a closer look at Fozzie’s act, but Fleet just ran in front of Kermit, pushing him back a little.

“What will you do with all the money if you don’t raise enough?”, asked Fleet.

“Can’t you just ask me later?”, said Kermit.

“Or you can donate some money”, said Walter.

“Wow, what a headline!”, said Fleet, “Muppet boy asks news reporter to donate money!”

Fozzie’s act was then finished and the audience was laughing and applauding like crazy.

“Thank you, thank you!”, said Fozzie.

“That joke never gets old”, laughed Emily Bear.

“And now, let’s see how much we’ve made”, said Fozzie, looking at the scoreboard, which now read “Enough Money!”

“Oh, we made enough!”, said Fozzie, “thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Kermit ran on-stage.

“Next time we should open with the banana sketch”, said Kermit, “we’d make all the money at the start.”

“I know”, said Fozzie.

“Anyway, what is the banana sketch?”, asked Kermit.

“Not now”, said Fozzie, “I have to do the closing number.”

“Well, I guess I’ll watch a recording….”, said Kermit, walking off stage as Fozzie sang a rendition of “That’s Entertainment”, and was soon joined by pigs, penguins, frogs, and monsters. During the number there are cuts to the operators singing along and cuts to Statler and Waldorf singing along and to the crew in the control room singing along and to Thog, Sweetums, Timmy, and Doglion singing along out in the parking lot.

After the number ended…

“Well, thank you all for watching”, said Fozzie, “I had a wonderful t…”

Just then Beaker crashed through the ceiling and fell onto Fozzie, followed by all the money made by Bunsen’s money machine. The scoreboard then had its money going up, to “more than enough money”.

Backstage…

“Wait a minute”, said Miss Piggy, “weren’t there supposed to be other guest stars, besides John Cleese?”

“Yes, there were”, said Kermit, “I wonder what happened to them.”

Mean Mama walked by, with a human leg inside her mouth.

“Yum, yum!”, growled Mean Mama as she finished her meal.

“Hmm, classic!”, chuckled Rowlf.

Later, the Muppets were back at the Studebaker Museum, a sign was out saying “Official Unveiling of Restored Muppet Studebaker, with introduction by Fozzie Bear!”

“Thank you, thank you all”, said Fozzie, “you won’t believe all I went through to get the Studebaker restored.”

“Yes, we would”, said somebody in the audience, “we all saw the telethon!”

“Oh, well, uh….”, said Fozzie, nervous, “I only wish my uncle was here to see it.”

“He said he’ll be here once he’s done hibernating”, said Emily Bear.

“Well, anyway, I am proud to present to you, the restored Studebaker from The Muppet Movie!”

Fozzie removed sheets from the Studebaker, and it looked as good as new. Everybody there applauded.

“It looks so shiny!”, said Walter.

“It looks so new, okay”, said Pepe.

“So that’s what it looks like”, said Rizzo.

The curator of the museum came by.

“Fozzie, since you drove this car in the past, and since you helped us restore it, I’d like to let you give it a drive, for old times sake.”

“Oh, wow, thank you”, said Fozzie, taking the keys and getting in. But as soon as he started the car, the whole thing blew up.

Statler and Waldorf applaudd.

“Hooray!”, said Statler.

“You’ve never been better!”, said Waldorf.

The Studebaker fell apart.

“Well, we’re going to need to host another telethon”, said Fozzie.

The end

 

[Misskermie]

Three words. I loved it!

 

[kathy26]

Who perform these characters
Annie Sue
Mean Mama

 

[Misskermie]

Who perform these characters
Annie Sue
Mean Mama

Well Annie Sue is Alice Dinnean, I know

 

[minor muppetz]

Who perform these characters
Annie Sue
Mean Mama

I'm not sure who would do a good Annie Sue, besides Louise Gold, but I'll accept Miss Kermie's choice of Alice Dennon (I had originally considering giving that line to Spamela, but then thought it sounded more like an Annie Sue line). As for Mean Mama, how about Peter Linz?

 

[Skekayuk]

Who perform these characters
Annie Sue
Mean Mama

Well since Annie Sue's part is rather a cameo, I'd like to suggest my favourite musical theatre singer-actress for it, as a guest-puppeteer cameo. .. Louise Gold is still a very capable performer, and Annie Sue was specially designed for her. I'm not sure about Big Mama though (also originally so often associated with Louise, might be expecting a bit much so many years on), but I think Annie Sue should still be in the hands of her original special friend.

 

[Skekayuk]

Oh btw who would you have for The two Mutations? some 35 years on I think one would have to have younger people than the originals. However, can I sugguest perhaps Edward Watson and Liam Scarlett might be good contemporary choices.