The Muppets After The Muppets - episode 1: Lunch Meeting

[minor muppetz]

I'm planning a new series of fan fiction called "The Muppets After The Muppets", taking place after the events of The Muppets. It's how I feel a new Muppet TV series should be done. My idea is not a variety show like The Muppet Show, The Jim Henson Hour, or Muppets Tonight, it's more like a sitcom with the Muppets. The Muppets will still be running a show, but it has a narrative focus. Because of this, it'd be hard to make it an outline (though I might do the outline format for musical numbers). I'll be breaking the format down into a few thread posts, listing them as "Acts" as opposed to "Chapters".

Before anyone asks...

• I don't know how long I'll be doing this. I might do it for years, or I might just do a few and stop there. I don't know.
• Please don't suggest ideas for plots, especially via private messages. It's okay if you want to suggest I do an episode about a certain character or characters, but please limit your suggestions.
• I don't know if I'll be including Tex Richman, Gary, Mary, or Veronica. I don't intend to, but I could change my mind (a fan fic about Gary and Mary's wedding would be interesting).
• I have no idea how frequently I'll be doing these. I have a few ideas in my head, so it depends on when I have time and when I feel like writing new episodes.

Also, like with The Muppets, I intend to keep the focus on classic characters, aside from giving Walter and Pepe big roles in this series. Other post-Muppet Show characters will make appearances, but they won't be too prominient.

To start things off, here is the show's opening theme:

For the theme song, the title “The Muppets After The Muppets” appears in big letters, with Kermit announcing, in voice-over, “It’s The Muppets After The Muppets! YAAAAAAAYYYYY…..”

And then Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem perform a rockin’ version of “Life’s a Happy Song”, with various Muppets showing up.

“Everything is great”, sings Dr. Teeth.

“Everything is grand”, sings Floyd.

“We’ve got the whole, wide world at the palm of our hands”, sings Janice.

“Everything is perfect”, sings Miss Piggy.

“It’s falling into place”, sings Fozzie.

“I can’t seem to wipe this smile off my face”, sings Gonzo.

“Life’s a happy song”, sings a group consisting of Scooter, Rowlf, Bunsen, Beaker, Link Hogthrob, Dr. Strangepork, and Annie Sue.

“When there’s someone by my side”, sings a group consisting of Lew Zealand, Crazy Harry, Sam the Eagle, Wayne, Wanda, Droop, Robin, Johnny Fiama, Sal, and Clifford.

“We’ve got everything that we nee-eed”, sings Kermit.

“Right in front of me”, sings Piggy.

“Nothing we won’t do”, sings Rizzo and Pepe.

“The skies are blue”, sings Walter.

“With it’s me and you and you and you”, sings Kermit.

“Life’s a happy song”, sings a group of penguins, chickens, and rats.

“When there’s someone by our side to sing”, sings a group of monsters consisting of Boppity, Gloat, Carl, Behemoth, Scoff and green counterpart, Mo Frackle, Beautiful Day Monster, Sweetums, Thog, Uncle Deadly, Mean Mama, Doglion, and Luncheon Counter Monster.

“Life’s a happy song”, sings a group consisting of George the Janitor, Mildred, Hilda, Bobby Benson, the babies, Digit, Leon, and Seymour.

“When there’s someone by your side to sing”, sings Beauregard, The Swedish Chef, The Newsman, Louis Kazagger, Nigel the Conductor, Bobo, Pops, and Angelo.

And then, in a final group shot of nearly every Muppet…

“Life’s a happy song when there’s someone by our side to sing along!”

 

[minor muppetz]

Act 1

Many of the Muppets had arrived at a restaurant.

“Alright, is everybody here?”, asked Kermit.

Walter looked at the huge group of Muppets.

“I don’t see George the Janitor or Boppity the blue frackle or the talking houses or the woman who plays the trumpet…”

“Trombone!”, corrected Lips.

“Uh, both”, said Walter, “And I don’t see any of the Mutations or Rover Joe or Fletcher Bird or…”

“Uh, Walter”, said Kermit, “I didn’t invite every Muppet to this lunch meeting”.

“Oh”, said Walter.

The hostess showed up.

“Okay, Muppets”, said the hostess, “I suppose you’re all getting the private room again.”

“There’s so many of us there’s no other choice”, said Kermit.

“Not unless we rented out the whole restaurant”, laughed Floyd.

The Muppets had followed the hostess into the private room.

“Say, hostess lady”, said Pepe, “How about giving me your number, okay?”

“I don’t date shrimps”, said the hostess.

“Oh, that’s good, okay”, said Pepe, “Because I am a king prawn!”

“Hungry, hungry, hungry”, growled Animal.

“Yeah, I’m hungry, too”, said Rizzo.

“What do you think you’ll be ordering today, Beaker?”, asked Bunsen.

“Mee mee mee mee mee”, said Beaker.

“Oh, good”, said Bunsen, “I think I’ll have one as well.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about”, said Sam.

Soon, the Muppets were all seated at a big table, with some Muppets at other tables in the private room, and they had all ordered their food.

“Alright”, said Kermit, “Now that we’ve ordered our food we’ve got to talk about the show.”

“Well, I always enjoy talking about the Muppets”, said Walter.

“We’ve got the theater back and now I’m open to suggestions for upcoming acts”, said Kermit.

Everyone talked at once, over each other.

“I want to be in every opening and closing number”, and Miss Piggy, “And I want a bigger dressing room.”

“I would like to do a science experiment”, said Dr. Strangepork.

“I’d love to do some soft-shoe dances”, said Sweetums.

“I can be Carl the Big-Mean Theater Eater”, said Carl.

“I’d like to do an updated tire-eating act”, said Gonzo.

“More dignity, more culture!”, said Sam.

“The band sure could use a concert”, said Dr. Teeth.

“ONE AT A TIME!”, shouted Kermit, annoyed by everyone’s talking.

“Maybe we should decide on special guest stars”, said Scooter.

“Good idea”, said Kermit, then addressing the other Muppets, “Are there any guests you’d like to have?”

“I hear Jason Segal’s a great actor”, said Walter.

“JACK BLACK”, shouted Animal.

“Not again”, said an annoyed Rizzo.

“Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler would be nice”, said Fozzie.

“Abbot and Costello”, suggested Pops.

“Katy Perry, okay”, said Pepe, “Oh, and Janet Jackson, and Beyonce Knowles, and Miley Cirus, okay…”

“Charles Grodin”, said Walter.

“Marilyn Monroe”, said Pops.

“No, Marilyn Mansion is a disgrace!”

“I said Marilyn Monroe”, said Pops.

“Lady Gaga, Weird Al Yankovic….”, suggested Gonzo.

“Jim Parson”, suggested Walter.

“W.C. Fields, Spencer Tracy, Walter Mathieu”, suggested Pops.

“Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama”, suggested Sam the Eagle.

“”Elton John, Bruno Mars, Madonna”, suggested Floyd.

“Like, Cyndi Lauper”, suggested Janice.

“Kenny G.”, suggested Zoot.

The suggestions started dying down.

“Okay, we’ll keep those guests in mind”, said Kermit, “Did you write all them down, Scooter?”

“No, boss”, said Scooter, “I was busy deciding on a guest star.”

“Good grief”, said Kermit, scrunching his face.

“Mister Kermit!”, said Marvin Suggs, “I’d like to rehearse an act with my muppaphones!”

“Your Muppaphones aren’t even here”, said Bean.

“Then I’ll make do!”, said Marvin, as he walked down the table, hitting Bean, Pops, Nigel, Rowlf, Fozzie, Beauregard, Lips, The Newsman, and Mahna Mahna, before Carl took his mallet away.

“Gimme that!”, said Carl, who then ate the mallet.

“Oh, no…”, cried Marvin, “Did you eat my muppaphones?”

Carl burped… And two Muppaphones flew out of his mouth.

“Kermie”, said Miss Piggy, “I have written down a selection of songs I want to sing.”

She got out a very long roll of paper, listing all the songs she wanted to sing.

“Jeez”, said Kermit, “Is this a list of songs or... Or…”

“Or a roll of toilet paper, okay?”, said Pepe.

“Watch it, shrimp!”, said Piggy, in a threatening tone.

“You know what I want?”, asked Beauregard.

“What’s that, Bo?”, asked Kermit.

“I want… Uh… I want….” Beauregard started to forget what he was going to say, “Why don’t I know what I want?”

“The writers don’t know what you want, either”, said Rizzo.

“Hey, I’ve got a great idea!”, said Gonzo, “Why don’t we have a dance marathon?”

“We already did”, said Kermit.

“Hey, why don’t we have a joke-a-thon”, said Fozzie.

“What’s a joke-a-thon?”, asked Kermit.

“About a dollar a joke”, said Fozzie, “Wocka wocka!”

“We should have more Pigs in Space, and especially more Bear on Patrol!”, demanded Link.

“I think our fans expect Pigs in Space”, said Kermit, “Not so much Bear on Patrol.”

“If we do revive Bear on Patrol”, said Fozzie, “Can we make it so I don’t get victimized?”

“Speaking of that”, said The Newsman, “I got a great idea! Instead of me being a victim to my news reports, can I just report the news without anything hap….”

The Newsman’s chair then broke apart.

Bean Bunny chuckled, “I’m so glad that didn’t happen to m….”

Bean’s chair then broke apart.

“Hey, I’ve got the perfect idea”, said Gonzo, picture if you will…

And suddenly the scene switched to Gonzo’s fantasy…

“I am riding a motorcycle and strapped to a remote-controlled hang glider… And I’m riding, into the air, flying all over the audience. And my chickens are flying with me, trying to catch up.”

Back to reality…

“Well, Gonzo”, said Kermit, politely, “It is, uh, different…”

“But then so is everything else you do”, laughed Floyd.

Everyone else chuckled a bit.

 

[minor muppetz]

Act 2

“Hey, I know what I can do!”, said Lew Zealand, “I bet you’ll never guess what it is…”

“A boomerang fish act?”, said Kermit.

“How did you know?”, asked Lew.

“Hey, I got an idea”, said Bobby Benson, “Just imagine…”

And in Bobby Benson’s fantasy, the baby band was performing “Baby, Baby, Baby”.

Back to reality, everyone was at a loss of words.

“I know, I know”, said Bobby Benson, “Genius, right?”

The food was then brought in.

“I hope they didn’t get mine mixed up again”, said Rowlf, “I ordered Purina, not Meow Mix.”

Carl was handed an empty plate. He then put salt on it and ate it.

Animal was handed a chair.

“CHAIR! CHAIR!”

And then Animal ate his chair.

Lew Zealand was given fish, which he threw, only it didn’t come back.

“This restaurant has the faultiest fish”, moaned Lew.

The Swedish Chef tried his pizza, but didn’t like how it tasted.

“Go svwhingy derr yuckity yuckity yoo yook…”

The Swedish Chef then got up from his table and went to the kitchen as he complained.

“I guess he’s going to tell the cooks how to cook again”, laughed Floyd.

“I know what I want now!”, said Beauregard, who started to eat, “I really want to…..” his mouth got so full of food that nobody could understand what he said next.

“What was that, Bo?”, asked Kermit.

Beauregard had swallowed his food.

“I said I want to…..” then Beauregard had put more food into his mouth, once again making it hard to understand.

“Hey!”, said Robin, “Why don’t you have me sing on the show?”

“I want to sing again, too!”, said Scooter.

“Mee mee mee mee ming”, said Beaker.

“I haven’t sung in quite a while, either”, said Gonzo.

“It’s been ages since I last sung”, said Thog.

“Alright, I get it”, said Kermit, “Everybody wants to sing.”

“I don’t”, said Zoot, “I just want a saxophone solo.”

 

[minor muppetz]

Act 3

“Hey, I’ve got a great idea for a sketch!”, said Walter.

“Well, let’s hear it”, said Scooter.

“We’ll make it a western sketch…”

And then the scene transitioned to a theoretical sketch, taking place in a western town. Lubbock Lou and his Jughuggers are playing music out in a western town, and various Muppets are shown in town, either as peddlers or townspeople.

“Get your boomerang fish while they’re still wet!”, said Lew Zealand, as a fish salesman.

“Get your explosives while they are still explodingly fresh”, said Crazy Harry, who then blew up his warehouse and laughed like crazy.

“Get your dust machine while you can”, said Bunsen, who turned on his machine… Which short-circuited and blew sandpiles of dust onto Beaker.

Back in reality…

“Mee mee mee meee mee”, objected Beaker.

“I agree, Beaker”, said Bunsen, “That is award-winning storytelling.”

Back in Walter’s western story…

“Everybody in town was enjoying what was going on”, said Walter, “Until….”

Just then Sweetums, Doglion, Timmy, and Mean Mama all ran into town.

“The Masked Bandit is coming to town!”, cried Sweetums.

“Run for your life!”, screamed Doglion.

The Masked Bandit, played by a penguin, shows up.

“Alright, town”, said the Masked Bandit, “Give me all your supplies!”

“This looks like a job for our hero!”, said Fozzie.

Just then Kermit appeared, as a cowboy superhero.

“Hi ho”, said Kermit, “I am the Green Cowboy Hero!”

“Wait, wait, wait…”, said Kermit, back in reality.

“A western super hero?”, said Kermit, unsure of the idea.

“Well, you get to be the hero”, said Walter, “You’re already my hero.”

“Can’t you have Moi be the hero?”, asked Miss Piggy.

“Or you can have Camilla be the hero”, said Gonzo.

“Bawk bawk bawk”, said Camilla.

“Okay, we can have a western superhero team”, said Walter.

And back to the story, Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Camilla are all shown as superheroes, fighting off The Masked Bandit.

“Okay, stick ‘em up”, said the Masked Bandit.

“Never!”, said Miss Piggy, who karate-chopped the bandit and then tied him to the railroad tracks. A crowd of pigs then chanted “Piggy! Piggy! Piggy!”

And then Kermit went to Piggy and said, “Will you marry me?”

“Piggy”, said Kermit, in reality, “Let Walter describe the sketch his way!”

“You know, Walter”, said Gonzo, “I think your sketch could use some snow.”

“And more fish”, said Lew Zealand.

“And instead of a penguin”, said Sweetums, “Could you have the bandit be a pony?”

“PO-NEE!”, said Animal, getting hungry.

“I don’t think there are any Muppet ponies”, said Janice.

“I’d like to be the hero”, said Crazy Harry.

“Oh, how about me and the band be a group of superheros?”, said Dr. Teeth.

“Like, that’s a rully great idea, fer sure!”, said Janice.

“Can I appear at the end and say the final punchline?”, asked Fozzie.

“And I’d like to have a very cute scene”, said Bean.

“Maybe you could work some polka music into the sketch”, said Gonzo.

“I certainly do not want any part in this sketch”, said Sam.

“Hey, I know what else I want!”, said Beauregard.

Kermit had just about enough of it.

“ENOUGH!”, yelled Kermit.

Everyone stoped talking. Except for Janice.

“Like, nudity may be a big way to make money, but I don’t think….”

Janice then noticed everyone watching and stopped.

“We have just a few days before we start doing the show again on a regular basis”, said Kermit, “While I am open to anything, I don’t think we can use everybody’s ideas for one show.”

“Yeah, how do you manage to keep everyone employed, anyway?”, asked Walter.

“It’s sort of a long story”, said Kermit.

“That’s what she said, okay!”, laughed Pepe.

“You may have all this trouble now”, said Walter, “But remember, we’re the Muppets. We can get almost anything done, even with a lot of chaos.”

“You’re right, Walter”, said Kermit.

“I don’t let any heckling stop me from going on”, said Fozzie.

“And normally we don’t have these kinds of meetings”, said Pops, “It seems we always decide on our acts after the show has started.”

“Can I have some desert?”, asked Carl.

“Our show may not always be perfect, but we always do manage”, said Kermit.

Cut straight to the next show, as the opening was about to end the usual way, with the Muppets in arches.

“This is what we call the…”

And then all the arches fell apart, as the Muppets were singing.

“I figured some chaos would happen”, said Kermit, “But I wasn’t expecting that.”

“That was a very funny way to start the show”, said Waldorf.

“Just as long as it doesn’t happen to us”, said Statler.

They both then looked at their balcony as it stayed intact.

“Well, what do you know?”, said Statler, “It didn’t…”

And then the balcony fell apart.

The End

 

[kyunkyua]

I feel bad that you never get any feedback, but I don't feel like I have enough experience to review this properly... Well, here goes nothing.
It was cute, I liked it overall. It was very simple, though. It'd be a lot better if it were more descriptive. Not that you have to go crazy with it. It really helps if you try to observe while you're watching this stuff and get a good feel of the characters. You can find a lot of interesting angles if you look past the surface.
I think you have the right idea, it's just a matter of more depth at this point. Have fun!

 

[bouncingbabyfig]

I agree with kyunkyua. You have good ideas, but you need more depth. You really capture the character's feelings and thoughts, and it's a good story line! So add more depth and you're good to go!

 

[minor muppetz]

One thing that I haven't exactly decided on yet: Whether the continuity here takes place in the continuity from The Muppets or if the continuity is that The Muppets was just a movie. But either way, I plan to have Muppet Studios located right next to The Muppet Theater, and this fanfic series takes place in LA.

 

[newsmanfan]

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Cute. Very cute! Hey, nothing wrong with a good laugh. I liked the transition-to-dream-sequence bits, and the characters interrupting others' ideas in those unrealities. While exploring characters' individual psyches is probably the goal of most fiction...there also isn't anything wrong with a plain ol' fun romp. (Heck, "Hitchhiker's Guide" has NO plot and very little depth and is still a good playful read!)

Really, my only beef is...KENNY G??? Come ON! This is ZOOT we're talking about! KENNY G!

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[minor muppetz]

[quote="newsmanfan, post: 859725
Really, my only beef is...KENNY G??? Come ON! This is ZOOT we're talking about! KENNY G!
[/quote]

I'm not too familiar with the quality of Kenny G.'s music, and he's the only (I assume) living saxaphone player I could think of.

 

[newsmanfan]

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There are tons of 'em, but regretfully I'm no expert...I just know BAD when I hear it! Any of you musicians wanna jump in here?

Not to detract from your story, which is fun!

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