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Here is the final chapter in my Muppet Show Yearbook series of fan fics.
(the show opens with a shot of a book, featuring "The Muppet Show Yearbook: 1980-1981" on the cover. Scene dissolves to a shot of Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Lew Zeland, Rizzo, Gonzo, and Scooter sitting around a table in an office)
Kermit: Okay, we have had a good season, and a good show, so let's let this yearbook be the best.
Fozzie: Yes, let's end this yearbook with a bang!
Crazy Harry: (popping up from under the table) Did somebody say "bang"?!
All: (except Gonzo) NO!
(Crazy Harry sets off an explosion, lauhgs hysterically, and leaves the room)
Kermit: What a disaster....
Crazy Harry: (comming back) Did somebody say "disaster"?!
Miss Piggy: Yes! Hiii-ya! (karate chops Crazy Harry)
Rizzo: Hey, hey, hey, let's just get things started.
Pops: Oh, yes, I started workign this year.. or have I been working for awhile but nobody saw me 'till this year? Anyway, I got to meet all of this years guest stars.
Miss Piggy: Well, of course you met the guests, Pops, you work in the lobby.
(cut to a clip montage of cold openings, including the cold openings with Loretta Switt, Linda Ronstadt, Mac Davis, Melissa Manchester, Marty Feldman, James Coburn, and Tony Randall)
Scooter: We have opened the show with a lot of great numbers.
Kermit: That's right.
(cut to: Another Opening, Another Show, There Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens, In the Navy, Yakkity Yak, Friendship, and Rockin' Robin)
(The Electric Mayhem enters)
Dr. Teeth: All right, we are working on the yearbook!
Janice: How groovy!
Floyd: oh, yes, the yearbook. Gotta be hip, you know?
Animal: HIP! HIP!
Lips: Oh, and don't forget about me!
Zoot: Who are you?
Pops: That's my line!
Lips: I am Lips, I joined the band this year.
Janice: oh, like, play a high note on your trumpet.
Lips: Okay (blows a really loud note, blowing everybody else in the room over).
Gonzo: Show off!
Dr. Teeth: Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, in addition to rock and roll, we also got to perform some country music.
(cut to Boogie in the Barnyard, fllowed by Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me and Egg-Sucking Dog)
Rowlf: This was a very good year for us. I actually sang a song about a cat.
(cut to The Cat Came back)
Rizzo: Yes, that cat won't ever find me.
Gaffer: (popping up) Meow! (chases Rizzo)
Miss Piggy: That same old cat interrupted my dog Foo Foo's act!
(cut to Foo Foo's trained act, followed by Muppet Labs: Copy Machine, Bear on Patrol: Handcuff Salesman, and Pigs in Space: Meteor Shower))
Scooter: Let us not forget about our many great guest stars.
(cut to Gene Kelly giving Kermit a dance lesson, Talk to the Animals, I Feel the Earth Move, and Goldfinger)
Floyd: Oh, there was also that roaring twenties skecth that James Coburn did.
(cut to the Roarin' Twenties skecth, followed by The Rainbow Connection)
Kermit: I remember the time that Brooke Shields played Alice from Alice in Wonderland.
(cut to the openign scene from Alice in Wonderland)
Kermit: It went crazy from there, especially when we got to the mad tea party...
(cut to the closing number from that episode)
Miss Piggy: That never would have happened if moi played Alice.
Gonzo: By the way, does anybody remember the dance marathon I hosted?
Kermit: How could we forget it?
(cut to a scene from the Carol Burnett episode, where Gonzo get's Kermit to dance with him)
Gonzo: I also liked the time our guets star became a pirate.
(cut to scenes from the Glenda Jackson episode)
Fozzie: yeah, we've had some of the best times ever.
(cut to Fozzie telling jokes in the woods, Veterinarian's Hospital: Pinnocchio, The Swedish Chef: Spring Chickens, Muppet News: Beef Falls Dramatically, and How High the Moon?)
Fozzie: Those were some good moments, but at the same time they also weren't.
Gonzo: Well, we'll just have to go through them again.
Kermit: NO! Don't repeat the same bad moments! Just... go to some other awful memories!
(cut to Muppet Sports: Yarndarn Hanging, Danny Boy, I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Cocanuts, Don't Cry Out Loud, Poision Ivy, Me and Gargoyle, One Way or Another, and Who Put the Bomp...?)
Miss Piggy: You know, Moi wasn't happy witht he time you fired her.
Kermit: Well, I fired you because I wasn't happy about what you did to deserve it.
(cut to first backstage scene from the Loretta Switt episode)
Miss Piggy: Moi also am not happy with the way vous replaced her with Loretta Switt in Veterinarian's Hospital.
(cut to Veterinarian's Hospital with Loretta Switt replacing Nurse Piggy)
Miss Piggy: Moi also hates how you replaced her in Pigs in Space, but all is forgiven since Moi was hired back.
(cut to Pigs in Space with First Mate Loretta)
Kermit: You know, I am not particularly fond of how you locked me in a trunk when Linda Ronstadt was the guest.
Miss Piggy: That was for your own good.
(cut to first backstage scene from the Linda Ronstadt episode)
Kermit: But eventually she found out, and you eventually let me out of the trunk.
(cut to last backstage scene from the Linda Ronstadt episode, and When I Grow Too Old to Dream)
Kermit: Well, let's get this yearbook to print.
Rizzo: Oh, I am so excited.
Scooter: Let's go.
Fozzie: I hope I am funny.
(the scene fades to black, where the caption "Five months later... appears. Statler and Waldorf then read the yearbook in the balcony)
Statler: I can't beleive it!
Waldorf: What? That they actually succeeded with the yearbooks?
Statler: No, that the show is over, and we're still here, long after the doors are locked.
(the show opens with a shot of a book, featuring "The Muppet Show Yearbook: 1980-1981" on the cover. Scene dissolves to a shot of Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Lew Zeland, Rizzo, Gonzo, and Scooter sitting around a table in an office)
Kermit: Okay, we have had a good season, and a good show, so let's let this yearbook be the best.
Fozzie: Yes, let's end this yearbook with a bang!
Crazy Harry: (popping up from under the table) Did somebody say "bang"?!
All: (except Gonzo) NO!
(Crazy Harry sets off an explosion, lauhgs hysterically, and leaves the room)
Kermit: What a disaster....
Crazy Harry: (comming back) Did somebody say "disaster"?!
Miss Piggy: Yes! Hiii-ya! (karate chops Crazy Harry)
Rizzo: Hey, hey, hey, let's just get things started.
Pops: Oh, yes, I started workign this year.. or have I been working for awhile but nobody saw me 'till this year? Anyway, I got to meet all of this years guest stars.
Miss Piggy: Well, of course you met the guests, Pops, you work in the lobby.
(cut to a clip montage of cold openings, including the cold openings with Loretta Switt, Linda Ronstadt, Mac Davis, Melissa Manchester, Marty Feldman, James Coburn, and Tony Randall)
Scooter: We have opened the show with a lot of great numbers.
Kermit: That's right.
(cut to: Another Opening, Another Show, There Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens, In the Navy, Yakkity Yak, Friendship, and Rockin' Robin)
(The Electric Mayhem enters)
Dr. Teeth: All right, we are working on the yearbook!
Janice: How groovy!
Floyd: oh, yes, the yearbook. Gotta be hip, you know?
Animal: HIP! HIP!
Lips: Oh, and don't forget about me!
Zoot: Who are you?
Pops: That's my line!
Lips: I am Lips, I joined the band this year.
Janice: oh, like, play a high note on your trumpet.
Lips: Okay (blows a really loud note, blowing everybody else in the room over).
Gonzo: Show off!
Dr. Teeth: Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, in addition to rock and roll, we also got to perform some country music.
(cut to Boogie in the Barnyard, fllowed by Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me and Egg-Sucking Dog)
Rowlf: This was a very good year for us. I actually sang a song about a cat.
(cut to The Cat Came back)
Rizzo: Yes, that cat won't ever find me.
Gaffer: (popping up) Meow! (chases Rizzo)
Miss Piggy: That same old cat interrupted my dog Foo Foo's act!
(cut to Foo Foo's trained act, followed by Muppet Labs: Copy Machine, Bear on Patrol: Handcuff Salesman, and Pigs in Space: Meteor Shower))
Scooter: Let us not forget about our many great guest stars.
(cut to Gene Kelly giving Kermit a dance lesson, Talk to the Animals, I Feel the Earth Move, and Goldfinger)
Floyd: Oh, there was also that roaring twenties skecth that James Coburn did.
(cut to the Roarin' Twenties skecth, followed by The Rainbow Connection)
Kermit: I remember the time that Brooke Shields played Alice from Alice in Wonderland.
(cut to the openign scene from Alice in Wonderland)
Kermit: It went crazy from there, especially when we got to the mad tea party...
(cut to the closing number from that episode)
Miss Piggy: That never would have happened if moi played Alice.
Gonzo: By the way, does anybody remember the dance marathon I hosted?
Kermit: How could we forget it?
(cut to a scene from the Carol Burnett episode, where Gonzo get's Kermit to dance with him)
Gonzo: I also liked the time our guets star became a pirate.
(cut to scenes from the Glenda Jackson episode)
Fozzie: yeah, we've had some of the best times ever.
(cut to Fozzie telling jokes in the woods, Veterinarian's Hospital: Pinnocchio, The Swedish Chef: Spring Chickens, Muppet News: Beef Falls Dramatically, and How High the Moon?)
Fozzie: Those were some good moments, but at the same time they also weren't.
Gonzo: Well, we'll just have to go through them again.
Kermit: NO! Don't repeat the same bad moments! Just... go to some other awful memories!
(cut to Muppet Sports: Yarndarn Hanging, Danny Boy, I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Cocanuts, Don't Cry Out Loud, Poision Ivy, Me and Gargoyle, One Way or Another, and Who Put the Bomp...?)
Miss Piggy: You know, Moi wasn't happy witht he time you fired her.
Kermit: Well, I fired you because I wasn't happy about what you did to deserve it.
(cut to first backstage scene from the Loretta Switt episode)
Miss Piggy: Moi also am not happy with the way vous replaced her with Loretta Switt in Veterinarian's Hospital.
(cut to Veterinarian's Hospital with Loretta Switt replacing Nurse Piggy)
Miss Piggy: Moi also hates how you replaced her in Pigs in Space, but all is forgiven since Moi was hired back.
(cut to Pigs in Space with First Mate Loretta)
Kermit: You know, I am not particularly fond of how you locked me in a trunk when Linda Ronstadt was the guest.
Miss Piggy: That was for your own good.
(cut to first backstage scene from the Linda Ronstadt episode)
Kermit: But eventually she found out, and you eventually let me out of the trunk.
(cut to last backstage scene from the Linda Ronstadt episode, and When I Grow Too Old to Dream)
Kermit: Well, let's get this yearbook to print.
Rizzo: Oh, I am so excited.
Scooter: Let's go.
Fozzie: I hope I am funny.
(the scene fades to black, where the caption "Five months later... appears. Statler and Waldorf then read the yearbook in the balcony)
Statler: I can't beleive it!
Waldorf: What? That they actually succeeded with the yearbooks?
Statler: No, that the show is over, and we're still here, long after the doors are locked.
