Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
FRICKLE
New Member
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2014
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 4
I wish this actually happened
(Season 2)
*Scooter knocks on Davy's door*
Scooter: Davy Jones? Oh Davy Jones? 15 seconds til curtain Mr. Jones!
Davy: (sitting at a desk with a smile on his face looking at the camera) Finally, a place where I'm the tallest one here! (Sweetums stands behind him, Davy looks up with a scared look on his face. He looks back at the camera) Nevermind...
Opening:
Kermit: It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Mr. Davy Jones! YAAAAAAAYY!!!!
(Muppet Show Theme Song)
(Gonzo blows trumpet and blue ink squirts out of it. Gonzo has a confused face)
(Audience claps)
Kermit: Thank you! Thank you! and welcome to The Muppet Show! We have a very special guest with us tonight, you may know him from the Broadway stage in the hit musical "Oliver!" or as most of you know him as a Monkee-(suddenly monkeys run out on stage making noises and jumping around. Kermit makes his scrunchy face) Not these monkeys! Out, out, out! (Monkeys exit. Kermit clears his throat) As I was saying, most of you may know him from the hit TV show and band The Monkees, Davy Jones is here!
(Audience claps)
Kermit: But first! We're going to start with our opening number. Let's take a radical trip to the beach with our groovy band Electric Mayhem!
(Audience claps. Electric Mayhem sings "Surfin USA". After their performance is over the audience claps.)
Statler: Do you know where I'd like to surf?
Waldorf: Where?
Statler: In hot lava rather than being here.
Both: DO-HOHOHOHOHOHOOO
Backstage:
Kermit: (sitting down at desk reading something)
Fozzie: (nervous) K-k-k-kermit?
Kermit: What is it Fozzie, what's the matter?
Fozzie: Ummm is it true that (gulp) the sailor devil is here?
Kermit: The sailor what?
Fozzie: The sailor devil. The pirate with the locker... (whispers) Davy Jones.
Kermit: Davy Jo- (chuckles) Fozzie, not THAT Davy Jones. This one is the musician from the Monkees!
Fozzie: (pause) So he's a pirate monkey? Oh, that's even worse!
Kermit: (puts hand over his face) Ughhh
Davy: (comes out of his dressing room and walks down the stairs. The audience claps) Hey Kermit!
Kermit: Hey it's Davy Jones!
Fozzie: (screams and tries to hide under Kermit) Don't kill me Mr. Jones! Don't send me to your locker! I'm just an innocent little bear! (about to cry)
Davy: (annoyed) Ugh. Every time I come on a show, people always think I'm going to send them at the bottom of the ocean, or throw bananas at them...or both!
Fozzie: (lifts up his head slowly) Wait, you're not a pirate?
Davy: No, I'm just a normal guy...with an abnormal height.
Fozzie: (walks around and observes Davy) Kermit you're wrong, he's not a monkey at all, he's a human.
Kermit: (bangs his head on table)
Davy: (laughs and pats Kermit on the back) Don't worry Kermit...you're not the only one who mistakes me for that.
Kermit: (makes scrunchy face to the camera and walks on stage)
Stage:
Kermit: And now the moment you've all been waiting for, here he is our special guest, Davy Jones!
(Audience claps)
(Davy sings the song "Girl", while he's singing, Miss Piggy comes in and starts dancing with him. After the song ends, audience claps. After the applause, Waldorf and Statler are holding handkerchiefs and sniffling their noses)
Waldorf: Davy you're beautiful!
Statler: Can I have your autograph?
Waldorf: I have all your records!
Statler: I love you!
Waldorf: I love him more!
Statler: No I love him more!
(Both arguing to each other saying, "no I love him more", "no you don't i do!" etc.)
(Kermit comes back on stage)
Kermit: And now, it's time once again for our fantastically fuzzy funny man Mr. Fozzie Bear!
(Audience claps)
Fozzie: Hey hey! Thank you, thank you and thank YOU! Oh boy what a crowd! OK, so a guy asks me 'Did you take a bath today?' and I said Why is there one missing? Wocka Wocka Wocka!
Statler: Boo you stink! You've already said this one!
Waldorf: Yeah why don't you go tell your jokes down in Davy Jones' Locker.
S&W: DO-Hohohohohohoho
Fozzie: (looks scared, screams and runs backstage)
Backstage:
Fozzie: KERMIIIIT!!! (runs into Kermit and hugs him)
Kermit: (scrunched face) ugh Fozzie!
Fozzie: I'm sorry Kermit. I get so scared when "that" is mentioned.
Kermit: (annoyed) Fozzie I told you already, THIS IS NOT THE SAME DAVY JONES!!!
Fozzie: (screams)
Kermit: (angry) WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING NOW?!?
Fozzie: I'm sorry, even when you say that name I get scared. I know It's not the real him.
Kermit: (sighs) Well you should know that story is a myth. That pirate doesn't and never has existed.
(A boom noise is heard. A pirate ship comes out from the wall, smoke comes out, spooky music plays in the background and a pirate comes in, it's the pirate Davy Jones *its a pirate muppet who kind of has a Snuffleupagus voice*)
Pirate Davy Jones: Who dares to say Davy Jones doesn't exist?
Fozzie: (screams and hides behind Kermit shaking)
Kermit: (scared) U-u-uh I-I did Mr. Jones-I-I mean Sir Davy Jones-I mean uh-uh (screams and runs away.)
(Fozzie is left alone, looks at Pirate Davy, then runs away and screams. Davy Jones comes in and coughs from all the smoke)
Davy: Hey where did everybody go-
(sees pirate Davy) Uncle Davy what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be scaring people at this time of day!
Pirate Davy: Oh I'm sorry Davy, someone here said that I didn't exist, so I HAD to haunt them!
Davy: Oh that was probably Kermit, don't listen to him. He was just trying to make Fozzie not afraid of you.
Pirate Davy: Oh I see...then I should go scare Fozzie!
Davy: (interrupts) No no no no no! Don't do that! (Pause) just get out of here. Go on! Shoo! Or I'll tell my father that you were the one who crashed his bike when you were 7.
(Pirate Davy looks at Davy for a least 3 seconds and runs away quickly. His ship backs away and leaves)
Davy: (to himself) Yeah, that's what I thought.
Kermit: (comes out and whispers) Is he gone?
Davy: Yep! He's gone!
Kermit: Phew! Oh good, I gotta go announce the next number. (runs onstage)
Stage:
Kermit: And now ladies and gentlemen, my nephew Robin will be singing a song about being (as you say), happy together!
(Audience claps. Robin sings the song "Happy Together" by The Turtles accompanied my Rowlf and some lyrics sung by him. Sweetums and Gonzo join in with Robin and Rowlf a little later, after the song ends audience claps)
Waldorf: You know what makes us happy together?
Statler: Not being here?
Waldorf: That, and not having our wives around!
Both: DO-Hohohohohoho
Announcer: And now PIGS IN SPAAACCCCEEE!!!! Starring the xenophobic Captain Link Hogthrob, the gallant First Mate, Miss Piggy, and the sequestered Dr. Julius Strangepork. When we last left our heroes, the Swinetrek broke down on planet Koozebane and went tried to find a nearby gas station.
Link: Did you find any gas Dr. Strangepork?
Dr. Strangepork: Well not gas exactly, it is a liquid formula that Koozbanians put in their automobiles.
Link: Koozbanians have automobiles?
Dr. Strangepork: Of course they do how would they get around anywhere?
Link: I don't know maybe they could fly.
Dr. Strangepork: (sighs) Well anyway if they use this to fuel them, it must work for ours too.
Miss Piggy: (enters looking exhausted and breathes heavily) Hoof! I just had the longest workout all day today. (Breathes heavily)
Link: Where did you workout in this tiny ship?
Miss Piggy: I only went from my room to here. (Breathes heavily) I'm so exhausted I need something to drink. (Sees the liquid Dr. Strangepork has in his hand and grabs it from him and drinks it)
Dr. Strangepork and Link: NOOOO!!!
(Miss Piggy finishes it and gives the bottle back to Dr. Strangepork. She then feels more energised and runs around the whole ship while car noises are made in the background)
Miss Piggy: Wow I have so much energy! I feel like I'm a car on the highway!
Link
to Strangepork) She even sounds like a car on the highway.
Dr. Strangepork: Wait! That gives me an idea. Oh Piggy dear!
Miss Piggy: (Still running around) Yeeesss!!
Dr. Strangepork: How about you go run around outside so you can have more room to move around? (whispers to Link) tie a rope around her waist and tie the other end to the ship.
(Link gets a rope and chases her around)
Announcer: Join us next week for another, PIGS IN SPAAACCCCEEE!!!
Backstage:
(Davy is sitting on a step with Fozzie)
Davy: So you see Fozzie, that was just my uncle. No need to be afraid of him, he tries to act all scary but in reality...he's just a coward.
Fozzie: Thanks Davy! Y'know for a short guy, you know your stuff!
Davy: (gets offended) Really?! The short jokes?!
Fozzie: (laughs) Sorry Davy, I'm a comedian, I always poke fun at people.
Davy: Yeah but you're not a real good one...(sees that Fozzie is looking at him all sad so he quickly says) just kidding!! (they both laugh)
Fozzie: Oh you got me good Davy Jones! (laughs)
Davy: Hahaha yeah. (looks at the camera with a worried look on his face)
Kermit: (runs to Davy and Fozzie) Davy are you ready? I'm about to announce you for the final number!
Davy: Oh yeah! Sorry about that frog! I'm ready don't you worry!
Kermit: Okay! (runs onstage)
Final Number:
Kermit: And now for our final number, please welcome once again Davy Jones! (Audience claps)
Davy: (responds to the applause) Thank you! Thank you! (audience stops clapping) Y'know, when I was 16 years old, I played the role as the "Artful Dodger" in the musical "Oliver!" and tonight I felt like sharing to you some songs from the show. But, I would like to sing them with some good friends of mine. (Muppets like Gonzo, Scooter, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, and a few extras come out and surround Davy and jabber for a few seconds then Davy says) You ready fellas?
Muppets: YEAH!!
Davy: Alright here we go! (He starts singing the song "Consider Yourself"/"I'll Do Anything", the muppets sing background and at times some sing lines from "I'll Do Anything". When it's over the audience cheers. The muppets go and hug Davy and all talk to him)
Final Scene:
Kermit: Well, that just about wraps up our show but BEFORE we go, let's give a big hand to our wonderful guest Mr. Davy Jones YAAAAAAYYY!!!!
(Audience claps. Davy enters onstage waving and smiling to the audience)
Davy: Thanks for having me on the show Kermit, I had a lovely time! But the best part of coming here, is that I got to meet a very cool guy and new friend...Mr. Fozzie Bear! (Davy and the audience claps for Fozzie. Fozzie enters all surprised)
Fozzie: Wow Davy you mean it? You think I'm cool?
Davy: Of course I do! Why would I say such I thing if I didn't mean it?
Fozzie: Well, you did say I wasn't funny and said that you were "kidding" just to make me feel better.
Davy: (pause) Well that's true! But I do mean this one!
Fozzie: Oh good! (hugs Davy)
Kermit: We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Audience claps. Theme song plays. The rest of The Muppets come on stage and surround Davy and start chatting with him)
Statler: Well they finally did it
Waldorf: Did what?
Statler: End the show!
Both: DO-Hohohohohoho!
(End of theme: Ba-da-da-da-da)
(Zoot's note: BWAAH)
(Season 2)
*Scooter knocks on Davy's door*
Scooter: Davy Jones? Oh Davy Jones? 15 seconds til curtain Mr. Jones!
Davy: (sitting at a desk with a smile on his face looking at the camera) Finally, a place where I'm the tallest one here! (Sweetums stands behind him, Davy looks up with a scared look on his face. He looks back at the camera) Nevermind...
Opening:
Kermit: It's The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Mr. Davy Jones! YAAAAAAAYY!!!!
(Muppet Show Theme Song)
(Gonzo blows trumpet and blue ink squirts out of it. Gonzo has a confused face)
(Audience claps)
Kermit: Thank you! Thank you! and welcome to The Muppet Show! We have a very special guest with us tonight, you may know him from the Broadway stage in the hit musical "Oliver!" or as most of you know him as a Monkee-(suddenly monkeys run out on stage making noises and jumping around. Kermit makes his scrunchy face) Not these monkeys! Out, out, out! (Monkeys exit. Kermit clears his throat) As I was saying, most of you may know him from the hit TV show and band The Monkees, Davy Jones is here!
(Audience claps)
Kermit: But first! We're going to start with our opening number. Let's take a radical trip to the beach with our groovy band Electric Mayhem!
(Audience claps. Electric Mayhem sings "Surfin USA". After their performance is over the audience claps.)
Statler: Do you know where I'd like to surf?
Waldorf: Where?
Statler: In hot lava rather than being here.
Both: DO-HOHOHOHOHOHOOO
Backstage:
Kermit: (sitting down at desk reading something)
Fozzie: (nervous) K-k-k-kermit?
Kermit: What is it Fozzie, what's the matter?
Fozzie: Ummm is it true that (gulp) the sailor devil is here?
Kermit: The sailor what?
Fozzie: The sailor devil. The pirate with the locker... (whispers) Davy Jones.
Kermit: Davy Jo- (chuckles) Fozzie, not THAT Davy Jones. This one is the musician from the Monkees!
Fozzie: (pause) So he's a pirate monkey? Oh, that's even worse!
Kermit: (puts hand over his face) Ughhh
Davy: (comes out of his dressing room and walks down the stairs. The audience claps) Hey Kermit!
Kermit: Hey it's Davy Jones!
Fozzie: (screams and tries to hide under Kermit) Don't kill me Mr. Jones! Don't send me to your locker! I'm just an innocent little bear! (about to cry)
Davy: (annoyed) Ugh. Every time I come on a show, people always think I'm going to send them at the bottom of the ocean, or throw bananas at them...or both!
Fozzie: (lifts up his head slowly) Wait, you're not a pirate?
Davy: No, I'm just a normal guy...with an abnormal height.
Fozzie: (walks around and observes Davy) Kermit you're wrong, he's not a monkey at all, he's a human.
Kermit: (bangs his head on table)
Davy: (laughs and pats Kermit on the back) Don't worry Kermit...you're not the only one who mistakes me for that.
Kermit: (makes scrunchy face to the camera and walks on stage)
Stage:
Kermit: And now the moment you've all been waiting for, here he is our special guest, Davy Jones!
(Audience claps)
(Davy sings the song "Girl", while he's singing, Miss Piggy comes in and starts dancing with him. After the song ends, audience claps. After the applause, Waldorf and Statler are holding handkerchiefs and sniffling their noses)
Waldorf: Davy you're beautiful!
Statler: Can I have your autograph?
Waldorf: I have all your records!
Statler: I love you!
Waldorf: I love him more!
Statler: No I love him more!
(Both arguing to each other saying, "no I love him more", "no you don't i do!" etc.)
(Kermit comes back on stage)
Kermit: And now, it's time once again for our fantastically fuzzy funny man Mr. Fozzie Bear!
(Audience claps)
Fozzie: Hey hey! Thank you, thank you and thank YOU! Oh boy what a crowd! OK, so a guy asks me 'Did you take a bath today?' and I said Why is there one missing? Wocka Wocka Wocka!
Statler: Boo you stink! You've already said this one!
Waldorf: Yeah why don't you go tell your jokes down in Davy Jones' Locker.
S&W: DO-Hohohohohohoho
Fozzie: (looks scared, screams and runs backstage)
Backstage:
Fozzie: KERMIIIIT!!! (runs into Kermit and hugs him)
Kermit: (scrunched face) ugh Fozzie!
Fozzie: I'm sorry Kermit. I get so scared when "that" is mentioned.
Kermit: (annoyed) Fozzie I told you already, THIS IS NOT THE SAME DAVY JONES!!!
Fozzie: (screams)
Kermit: (angry) WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING NOW?!?
Fozzie: I'm sorry, even when you say that name I get scared. I know It's not the real him.
Kermit: (sighs) Well you should know that story is a myth. That pirate doesn't and never has existed.
(A boom noise is heard. A pirate ship comes out from the wall, smoke comes out, spooky music plays in the background and a pirate comes in, it's the pirate Davy Jones *its a pirate muppet who kind of has a Snuffleupagus voice*)
Pirate Davy Jones: Who dares to say Davy Jones doesn't exist?
Fozzie: (screams and hides behind Kermit shaking)
Kermit: (scared) U-u-uh I-I did Mr. Jones-I-I mean Sir Davy Jones-I mean uh-uh (screams and runs away.)
(Fozzie is left alone, looks at Pirate Davy, then runs away and screams. Davy Jones comes in and coughs from all the smoke)
Davy: Hey where did everybody go-
(sees pirate Davy) Uncle Davy what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be scaring people at this time of day!
Pirate Davy: Oh I'm sorry Davy, someone here said that I didn't exist, so I HAD to haunt them!
Davy: Oh that was probably Kermit, don't listen to him. He was just trying to make Fozzie not afraid of you.
Pirate Davy: Oh I see...then I should go scare Fozzie!
Davy: (interrupts) No no no no no! Don't do that! (Pause) just get out of here. Go on! Shoo! Or I'll tell my father that you were the one who crashed his bike when you were 7.
(Pirate Davy looks at Davy for a least 3 seconds and runs away quickly. His ship backs away and leaves)
Davy: (to himself) Yeah, that's what I thought.
Kermit: (comes out and whispers) Is he gone?
Davy: Yep! He's gone!
Kermit: Phew! Oh good, I gotta go announce the next number. (runs onstage)
Stage:
Kermit: And now ladies and gentlemen, my nephew Robin will be singing a song about being (as you say), happy together!
(Audience claps. Robin sings the song "Happy Together" by The Turtles accompanied my Rowlf and some lyrics sung by him. Sweetums and Gonzo join in with Robin and Rowlf a little later, after the song ends audience claps)
Waldorf: You know what makes us happy together?
Statler: Not being here?
Waldorf: That, and not having our wives around!
Both: DO-Hohohohohoho
Announcer: And now PIGS IN SPAAACCCCEEE!!!! Starring the xenophobic Captain Link Hogthrob, the gallant First Mate, Miss Piggy, and the sequestered Dr. Julius Strangepork. When we last left our heroes, the Swinetrek broke down on planet Koozebane and went tried to find a nearby gas station.
Link: Did you find any gas Dr. Strangepork?
Dr. Strangepork: Well not gas exactly, it is a liquid formula that Koozbanians put in their automobiles.
Link: Koozbanians have automobiles?
Dr. Strangepork: Of course they do how would they get around anywhere?
Link: I don't know maybe they could fly.
Dr. Strangepork: (sighs) Well anyway if they use this to fuel them, it must work for ours too.
Miss Piggy: (enters looking exhausted and breathes heavily) Hoof! I just had the longest workout all day today. (Breathes heavily)
Link: Where did you workout in this tiny ship?
Miss Piggy: I only went from my room to here. (Breathes heavily) I'm so exhausted I need something to drink. (Sees the liquid Dr. Strangepork has in his hand and grabs it from him and drinks it)
Dr. Strangepork and Link: NOOOO!!!
(Miss Piggy finishes it and gives the bottle back to Dr. Strangepork. She then feels more energised and runs around the whole ship while car noises are made in the background)
Miss Piggy: Wow I have so much energy! I feel like I'm a car on the highway!
Link
to Strangepork) She even sounds like a car on the highway.Dr. Strangepork: Wait! That gives me an idea. Oh Piggy dear!
Miss Piggy: (Still running around) Yeeesss!!
Dr. Strangepork: How about you go run around outside so you can have more room to move around? (whispers to Link) tie a rope around her waist and tie the other end to the ship.
(Link gets a rope and chases her around)
Announcer: Join us next week for another, PIGS IN SPAAACCCCEEE!!!
Backstage:
(Davy is sitting on a step with Fozzie)
Davy: So you see Fozzie, that was just my uncle. No need to be afraid of him, he tries to act all scary but in reality...he's just a coward.
Fozzie: Thanks Davy! Y'know for a short guy, you know your stuff!
Davy: (gets offended) Really?! The short jokes?!
Fozzie: (laughs) Sorry Davy, I'm a comedian, I always poke fun at people.
Davy: Yeah but you're not a real good one...(sees that Fozzie is looking at him all sad so he quickly says) just kidding!! (they both laugh)
Fozzie: Oh you got me good Davy Jones! (laughs)
Davy: Hahaha yeah. (looks at the camera with a worried look on his face)
Kermit: (runs to Davy and Fozzie) Davy are you ready? I'm about to announce you for the final number!
Davy: Oh yeah! Sorry about that frog! I'm ready don't you worry!
Kermit: Okay! (runs onstage)
Final Number:
Kermit: And now for our final number, please welcome once again Davy Jones! (Audience claps)
Davy: (responds to the applause) Thank you! Thank you! (audience stops clapping) Y'know, when I was 16 years old, I played the role as the "Artful Dodger" in the musical "Oliver!" and tonight I felt like sharing to you some songs from the show. But, I would like to sing them with some good friends of mine. (Muppets like Gonzo, Scooter, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, and a few extras come out and surround Davy and jabber for a few seconds then Davy says) You ready fellas?
Muppets: YEAH!!
Davy: Alright here we go! (He starts singing the song "Consider Yourself"/"I'll Do Anything", the muppets sing background and at times some sing lines from "I'll Do Anything". When it's over the audience cheers. The muppets go and hug Davy and all talk to him)
Final Scene:
Kermit: Well, that just about wraps up our show but BEFORE we go, let's give a big hand to our wonderful guest Mr. Davy Jones YAAAAAAYYY!!!!
(Audience claps. Davy enters onstage waving and smiling to the audience)
Davy: Thanks for having me on the show Kermit, I had a lovely time! But the best part of coming here, is that I got to meet a very cool guy and new friend...Mr. Fozzie Bear! (Davy and the audience claps for Fozzie. Fozzie enters all surprised)
Fozzie: Wow Davy you mean it? You think I'm cool?
Davy: Of course I do! Why would I say such I thing if I didn't mean it?
Fozzie: Well, you did say I wasn't funny and said that you were "kidding" just to make me feel better.
Davy: (pause) Well that's true! But I do mean this one!
Fozzie: Oh good! (hugs Davy)
Kermit: We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Audience claps. Theme song plays. The rest of The Muppets come on stage and surround Davy and start chatting with him)
Statler: Well they finally did it
Waldorf: Did what?
Statler: End the show!
Both: DO-Hohohohohoho!
(End of theme: Ba-da-da-da-da)
(Zoot's note: BWAAH)
