The Eazy Cases: "A Tale of Two Twins"

[Zephyr]

0

Eazy Earnings​

Harvey Eazy had a dour expression and appearance, his skin was a concrete gray hue with a long sharp nose. Cobalt blue hair was held down by a battered black fedora, his slouched yet uneasy figure gave off the appearance of a vulture waiting prey. Not helped by the white long shirt and black slacks, along with a hanging long-coat that resembled curled wings. Eyes were pursed onto the opening of his office door, his landlord, Bubba had nudged his wolfish head in to tell him of another visitor. “Hey Harv, got nother one!” exclaimed the canine, his bearded whiskers rustling at every word.

Eazy sighed with frustration. “Send them in, Bubs.”

The elderly wolfhound dressed in a white apron and pajama pants vanished into the doorframe, Eazy muttered a small curse or two as he hid a small bright red object into his oaken desk. It was a genuine “Gribbaziggy Brand” yo-yo. Years of winning contests and tournaments were aced by the little thing, plus it gives a man a hobby. Suddenly the door opened again, color flushed up the man’s grey face as a redheaded woman stepped into his domicile. Her ginger-hair was covered by a headwrap, body draped in a red blouse and matching short skirt, all finished with crimson jackboots.

“Is this the office of Eazy and Harrde?” chirped the woman.

“Yes, indeed it is” said Harvey, adjusting his posture for a more welcoming position. “And you are?”

“Francine, but other’s call me Fran” responded the woman, as she took seat onto one of the client chairs with a squelch of tightened fabric; a sound that made the detective gulp back every primal thought that crawled up his throat. Taking off a pair of purple shades, Eazy battled more for self-control as her black eyes met his.
No, he had to keep calm for business.

Eazy internally shook his head. “Excellent, I am guessing you are here to hire my services?”

“Correct, your services are needed highly by me to solve a personal matter” said Francine in a soft, relaxing tone. Digging a hand into her blouse, the woman pulled out two envelopes, then tossed it onto Harvey’s desk as if they were some disgusting object. Though in fairness, the detective was more shocked she could fit the thing into her pocketless blouse; he’d seen magicians pull similar stunts but not this good. Picking up the small paper containers, both were torn open with no difficulty.
One contained a flimsy, yellowed letter written in newspaper cutouts.

The other were a few black-white polaroids of various Hensonville celebrities.

Heck, Eazy knew a few of the photo stars and helped a few out over his first cases. Such stars like Sgt. Floyd Pepper, Zoot Zootowski, Scooter Grosse, Samuel Eagle, and others he could see into the crinkled windows. But then he saw Francine amongst Zoot and twin bandmates of Solid Foam, her face the same albeit dressed in 80’s pop rock fashion than today’s sensual wares. His eyes furrowed with a rapid back-n-forth double take, until he laid down the photos once the navel gazing finished. “Never guessed that you were friends with Solid Foam and The Muppets” Eazy said as the woman chuckled gently. “Hey what’s so funny? You have something against The Muppets.”

“No no, I am just laughing that you didn’t know yours truly was head drummer in the Foam” Francine laughed. Her laughter made Harvey blush a bit in mixed embarrassment, surprise, and attraction.

“Ran into that one then, so you were a drummer for how long?” piqued Eazy who then dug into the yellowing note, creasing it on his desk for better reading as they talked. Sentences were barely legible, unless you squint hard enough to see the chicken-scratch. A single name was blurred below the final paragraph in black sharpie as if it was being edited last minute before postal snatched it.

“Until 98, minor dispute over music styles at the time” said Francine sadly.

“Punk?” Harvey guessed.

“On the money honey, my new band wanted to delve into new pop” Francine sighed. “I wanted to continue my punk rock roots, others disagreed, we parted ways since then. But that’s not the problem…you see I have someone stalking me for some horrid reason.”

Eazy dreaded the cause of stalking, not that he was into his client mind you, he had faced stalkers in past cases and they were nasty trouble. “Money? Stolen ideas? The fact you look like a bombshell in that jacket?”

“What?” Francine blurted.

“What?” Harvey repeated.

A woof erupted below in unison, before a crash of cans and other debris silenced the landlord down below. “Nothing, my main question before you hire me is; what is the crime at hand? Give me all the details” said Harvey, he dug for his notepad and ballpoint from the desk drawer with his eyes still locked on Francine.

Taking a deep breath, Fran gave her explanation as clear as she could make it. “It started 3 months ago when I was finishing up a local concert at Cape Dune, my postman delivered that letter to me” She stifled back some fear. “Apparently, someone desires an old trinket that I took off the Jim Henson Hour set back in the day; they think I stole their property and used it to build my indie career.”

“And???” Eazy scribbled on his pad.

“I ignored it for a few days, seemed like a irate fan at first” continued the redhead. “Then came the duct taped files….there were files sent with photos of parties I haven’t remembered in a long while, not including the private pictures of me and my sister” mumbled Fran, her voice was slowly trembling with tearful fear. Harvey broke off his notes, his head hesitating to ponder the subject more, this woman was breaking down at the memories. Although the private detective knew that most crimes brought sorrow or fear or rage in clients, so he continued to peel the bandage off so the situation could cool down.

Eazy cleared his throat harshly. “If you want to stop, we can-”

“No, I have more” said Francine with a wiping of tears. “The photos had tiny red messages written, saying that I ‘Must Return The Laptop’ and ‘Give Back Or Else’, other horrible words were posted on the remaining polos. I tried calling my sister and bandmates for assistance, but they haven’t spoken to me in years, not since we split.”
Now this was getting interesting, Harvey jotted his last pen note and thumbed over another blank page. “Why did you split?”

Francine dabbed away a few small tears and some grey mascara, her voice now clearing. “My band already split with me because of clashing opinions, sister on the other hand disapproved of my career choice, may I?” She reached out for a tissue box on the desk, and the detective nodded cordially. “Thank you, my sister was a tv actor for Muppet Studios and wanted me out of the grunge era for something more financially stable. Now she and my ex-bandmates don’t believe my cries of stalking, I talked to the police but they laughed me off as well.”

“Sergeant Green, guys like him are worthless here” Eazy grumbled.

“The files came to me individually for 3 months, everyone having more photos than I gave you today; I have not slept well and started breaking my diet for comfort” regaled the woman in red, her appearance was now a bit disheveled. Dress was muddled by tear drops and dried mascara, lips on the other hand were still a spotless black.

Eazy snapped his attention from his looks to the matter at hand, the real matter, the laptop nonsense. “So the laptop, is it a family heirloom or inherited treasure? This guy must be serious if the dinky computer is valuable” Harvey questioned. The woman jostled her head at the question. In a matter of minutes, she told him that the laptop was an old device used to create songs and sheet music for her bandmates. Computer soared in the eighties and nineties before she decided to mount it in her house as a trophy of past success, using it only brought her bad memories of that night.

“Ooookay then do you have anyone who could have wanted that laptop for themselves?” Eazy thumbed another page with inked fingers. Some of the Muppets on the photos did not seem the right culprit, even Clifford, who did have a small bit of infamous history amongst tv viewers for temporarily replacing the frog as the Muppet Tonights front man, was not the type to harass former friends.

But as with Hollywood living, everything was not as it seems.

“There were two guys who had it out for me back then, don’t know if they still do” Francine sniffed back a sixth tissue. “Back on MuppeTelevision, we had a manager named Leon, a real sleaze on the set. Lizard hardly went by without trying to increase the adult ratings on our show and pulled some mean ‘jokes’ on the cast, he hated me for telling him off for the constant stripping pranks.”

“Stripping?” Eazy said.

Francine closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. “He’d pull off an actor's top or swimsuit while we filmed live, Leon thought it would add ratings to the show. I broke a practice shoot by crunching his hand and shoving him off for trying to sneak up on me. Kermit had to separate the two of us before shooting continued. The Henson Group had the lizard shuffled back into the support crew to avoid a scandal, he swore that he’d get back even sometime.”

Lizard reminded Harvey of the more sleazier criminals he’d turn in, he shuddered back the racy papers or evidence studied to catch them; getting into their heads was the worst part of being a private detective. “Other than that, there was Ubu, he wasn’t really a cast member and come to think of it…he wasn’t much a Muppet at all. The big ape was part of some rival hack group, ‘Gorilla Television’ and kept on trying to interrupt my old gigs time slot.”

“Let me guess, you told them to shove off” Harvey responded.

“No, it was a group thing” said Fran. “Clifford led us in making a mock song to those posers, they ended up hacking into the Henson Hour broadcast before police got involved. Apparently the episode we were to air was monitored by the feds and they caught the Gorillas on the act, they were caught three days later swearing in court to get back at us.”

“Grudges perhaps” Eazy suggested.

“Possibly, my sister told me he was put under house arrest a year after he was paroled, living quietly down on Nelson lane” Francine shrugged again. Strangely her crying tone had stopped completely and her lips were curled into a mellow smile. Harvey grimaced a bit while taking in the last note, his ones on Leon were sparse, better call in for some backup on the first one. “I can hand you the other photos if you desire, those one’s on your desk are just the starters.”

Harvey nodded to her curtly, he contemplated on either drilling her for more information on the matter or simply call the meeting at an end, she did almost break down from remembering the events. Clicking off the ballpoints top, the detective laid down his pad and massaged his temples as he prepared for a busy week. “Ms. Francine, I would like you to drop off the photos to me tomorrow, Bubs keeps my mail safe. Leon will be my first subject tonight,” Eazy hopped up from his chair, back straightening. As he jumped up, so did her, causing the private eye to blush a deep pink as she towered above him by an inch. “That lizard will be the first I’m gonna consult my stool pigeon about, please drive out safely today, and have my number.”

“Pardon moi?” Francine said, confused.

Harvey took out a business card from his shirt pocket and handed it to the woman’s hand. “My phone number is on the card if you need to call me about the stalker mailing you-”

“Or if I need help from the stalker if that’s what you are implying?” Francine raised an eyebrow, she took a step forward above the short enforcer of law. Eying the little man like a wolf over a sheep or lamb, she smiled genuinely. “You haven’t asked me about payment first have you?”

“No mam, I’m a sucker for easy cases like this” Eazy trembled.

Laying a hand on his cheek, the young lady gave him a soft hearty pat and then turned forward, strutting out the back with a chuckle. “Detective, you’re a genuine eye for charity cases, I like that in a man. I’ll have those photos at your friend's mailbox in the morning, but after you solve this mystery, the payment will be a lot sweeter than you imagine” The woman, in a brief wave, disappeared behind the door in a strut that put samba dancers to shame. Harvey kept quiet as he heard the faint steps outside turn quiet. His heart beating at twice the speed of most hot rods going mach 5. Women were his kryptonite, sharing a similar spot he had for poor souls or his yo-yo collection.

“Good grief, almost ate the farm and barn back there” Eazy wiped his sweating brow

After regaining his composure along with some of his confident dignity, Harvey Eazy, took up his coat and notepad for today’s first round. If it won’t get him hornswoggled that is…