T*K*O-"Workforce"

[D'Snowth]

T*K*O​

Episode #: 2
Title: “Workforce”
Original Airdate: 30-Jun-2005
Written by: D’Snowth
Created by: MrsPepper
Gueststars: KermieBaby47, Vibs, and Beauregard as The Custodian and The Chef
Special Muppet Guest Appearance by: Cookie Monster

Our scene opens today at T*K*O Headquarters, where it’s business as usual. Of course, everyone who’s a part of the T*K*O cast has their own specific jobs: MrsPepper monitors the threads killers and the thread they’ve killed, D’Snowth takes calls and makes calls and assists MrsPepper. Vic Romano is the chief thread killer and is appointment to kill as many threads as he can and recruits new members, That Announcer is the vice thread killer and assists Vic in killing thread, KermieBaby47 and Vibs are union thread killers kill the thread they’re assigned to, and Beauregard is the depressed custodian.

BEAUREGARD: (Interrupting) “Depressed” is an understatement.

*Laugh Track*

Yes, life may seem like fun at T*K*O, and it is, but on bad rainy days, it brings out the unfun part of it. Meanwhile, in D’Snowth’s office…the phone starts to ring.

D’SNOWTH: (Answers phone) 3976 ½ T*K*O……………yes sir that’s right…………….well, 3976 was already taken, and we didn’t want 3977, so we made our own, and voila! 3976 ½! (*Laugh track*)………………Yes sir, would you hold one minute?.............Thank you. (Pushes another button on phone) MrsPepper?............President Salt of the 1704th wishes to speak with you………….okay…………(Pushes original button) Mr. Salt?..........MrsPepper will now speak with you…………(Hangs up, then looks out window to see rain) I hate Mondays.

*Laugh Track*

Meanwhile, down the hall where Vic’s, That Announcer’s, KermieBaby’s and Vib’s offices were. They ALL were busy killing threads…or trying to at least.

VIC ROMANO: Man, I can’t think of a THING to post about (Yells across the hallway) Hey guys, how’s it coming?

THAT ANNOUNCER: I’ve been here since 8:00 this morning, and STILL can’t come up with a post to even try to kill.

KERMBIEBABY47: That’s nothing, I don’t even post that much anyway!

VIBS: I don’t see why I have to fly in everyday, when I could kill threads back in Denmark just as easy!

VIC ROMANO: Because there are no other T*K*O units in Denmark, and plus this is the only one they would let you join, we’re kinda the low-budget unit.

*Laugh Track*

The minutes past by like hours until…

D’SNOWTH: (Over intercom) Attention thread killers…(Microphone uses to much feedback, and rings in the whole building).

*Laugh Track*

MRSPEPPER: Someday I gotta get that thing fixed!

*Laugh Track*

D’SNOWTH: (Over intercom) Sorry, uh attention thread killers…it’s lunch time!

THAT ANNOUNCER: Hot dang!

The thread killers walk out of their offices and down towards the lunch room.

VIC ROMANO: Finally, a chance for us to sit around and do nothing!

KERMIEBABY47: (Whispers to Vibs) I thought that’s what we’ve been doing all morning.

*Laugh Track* Commercial Break.

Meanwhile in the lunch room…

BEAUREGARD: (As the chef) Today’s special, stale, over peppered Cole Slaw, and Tanted Spuds

VIC ROMANO: Tanted Spuds?

BEAUREGARD: Old mashed potatoes.

THAT ANNOUNCER: (Sarcastically) Mmm….gimmie!

KERMIEBABY47: What else do you have?

BEAUREGARD: What else do you WANT?

VIBS: How about something edible and delicious.

BEAUREGARD: Sorry, no can do, this is all we have.

Everyone stood in line and their trays had stale, over peppered cole slaw and tanted spuds splatted on them.

THAT ANNOUNCER: (Getting beverages for everyone) Well, at least they still have iced tea. (Sits down at the table). Man, this is one of the worst lunches I ever had.

KERMIEBABY47: I wonder why MrsPepper and D’Snowth never eat lunch?

But they do, only they eat in the presidents’ lounge, where MrsPepper and D’Snowth were served pot roast and steamed broccoli by suited waiters, and they got to choose their own beverages. Meanwhile, back in the lunch room, Beauregard sat down (this time as the custodian) with dessert.

VIC ROMANO: Well, what’s for dessert?

THAT ANNOUNCER: Give it to us straight, we can take it.

BEAUREGARD: Just these month old cookies, that NO ONE would eat!

COOKIE MONSTER: (Appears out of nowhere) COOKIES! (Scarfs all of the month old cookies at once) *BARP*! Boy, me NEVER had cookies like that before!

VIC ROMANO: Where did you come from?

COOKIE MONSTER: Hey, me see no evil, hear no evil, tell no evil.

BEAUREDGARD: Who’s underneath you this time, Frank or David?

COOKIE MONSTER: Me no DARE look under me tummy! Buh-bye! (Disappears)

THAT ANNOUNCER: Hey, now I’ve got an idea for a thread to kill! The bad lunch we had today!

VIC ROMANO: Okay then, let’s get to killing those threads!

Commercial Break

After that, Vic Romano had That Announcer, KermieBaby, and Vibs meet in the conference room.

VIC ROMANO: Alright guys, its time for a progress report! I started a thread about our encounter with Cookie Monster today. No one apparently believed it, because I have no replies. Now then, That Announcer…

THAT ANNOUNCER: Well, I posted a thread about the terrible lunch we had today, unfortunately, I had quite a few replies.

VIC ROMANO: I don’t understand, you always seem to start such popular threads, how did you ever become a thread killer?

THAT ANNOUNCER: I joined the union.

VIC ROMANO: Well, how about you two?

KERMIEBABY47: I started a thread about how bored I was today, and got one reply.

VIBS: That one reply was me, I started the same thread, but thought that KermieBaby replied to mine, so I replied, only to find I replied to his!

VIC ROMANO: Well, we better report to MrsPepper.

Later, the thread killers entered D’Snowth’s office, to find himself in the middle of a one-man dance contest.

D’SNOWTH: (Singing with the radio, and off-key I might add) We are fam-i-ly! I’ve got all my sister we me! We are fam-i-ly!

VIC ROMANO: (Ad-libbing) D’Snowth, could we speak to you, please?

D’SNOWTH: Oh, (turns off radio) So, what’s up guys?

VIC ROMANO: We’re ready to give our progress reports to MrsPepper.

D’SNOWTH: Of course, go right on in.

Later, again.

MRSPEPPER: Well, you certainly had a bad day haven’t you?

ALL: Um…..

MRSPEPPER: Well, I must say, I’m still proud of you all for trying today. And maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Now then, get back to killing those threads!

THE END

 

[Beauregard]

Ooooooh! I like, I like. "Sorry, no can do." "COOKIES!" And Vibs replying to the post that ThatAnnouncer replied to hers, except he didn't. Those were my favorite bits.

Sure is funny!

 

[The Count]

*Back at the network.

Hmmm, wonder where they got the budget to have such a popular personage like Cookie Monster as a guest star? Oh well, at least he never fails to make us laugh. And it seems the public does like him still. Just look at this week's ratings.

*Glances over ratings. Uh, forget I said anything.
Cookie's always funny, thanks for the new episode D'Snowth.

 

[That Announcer]

Another great script!

 

[MrsPepper]

Oh, just lovely! I was grinning the whole time, especially when Cookie showed up. I have a certain soft spot for him, you know.
I LOVED the whole thing. GIANT THUMBS UP... well, that is to say only if you have giant thumbs... **is confuzzled**

 

[D'Snowth]

Glad you guys liked it! And Vibs if you ever read this script, sorry I didn't write you as the joke killa you are, but fear not, in the next scripts, you will be your joke-killin' self!

 

[D'Snowth]

Well you guys must not have liked this episode, no one's talking about it.

 

[Ziffel]

No I'm sure they all liked it D'Snowth, as some have already expressed. And I'm sure more praise will come. You write very well and are very creative. My cup of tea is more repeating the works others have already created (as you can see with my "Sesame Street" and "Green Acres" quotes!). In fact, an elderly resident at the nursing home I work at told me (when I was reciting an old skit for her!) , "I don't know what you're doing here, you oughta be on tv." I replied, "Well see, I'm only quoting something someone else already created."
By the way, that's part of what triggered my somberness last night and this morning - I felt like everyone was ignoring my stuff and felt rejected and a flop. But you guys are all great and you have given me a lot of very nice feedback before.
Anyway, you do a great job, D'Snowth, and I mean that very sincerely. Look forward to you treating us with some more scripts in the future.

 

[sarah_yzma]

I'm deciding my next plan on how to discover the true motives of the TKO

 

[D'Snowth]

I'm deciding my next plan on how to discover the true motives of the TKO

If it help, read the entire "Thread Killers Organization" thread, by MrsPepper. There, you will find the pilot episode of T*K*O, after that, you can read "The Recruit", which is episode 1.