T*K*O-"The Not-So Joy of Rules"

[D'Snowth]

T*K*O​

​

Episode #: 4
Title: “The Not-So Joy of Rules”
Original Airdate: 14-Jul-2005
Written by: D’Snowth
Created by: MrsPepper
Gueststars: KermieBaby47, Vibs, and Beauregard as The Custodian
Special Muppet Guest Appearance by: Sergeant Floyd Pepper

Well, as usual it’s been a busy day at the 3976th ½, but before everyone is dismissed, they must first appear before MrsPepper for a meeting.

MRSPEPPER: Well, I assume you all have been doing your part to kill threads today, but now I have more important things to discuss! For those of you who don’t know, my hubby, Sergeant Floyd Pepper, is in between gigs right now, and hasn’t been in work for five years.

VIC ROMANO: That’s what you get for letting Bush run office again!

VIBS: What kind? A sticker bush? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

ALL: VIBS!

MRSPEPPER: Anyway, to get a glimpse of what I do everyday, my sweetie Floyd, is coming for a visit tomorrow!

D’SNOWTH: Alright, he has connections with Janice!

MrsPepper gives D’Snowth an annoyed look, while That Announcer and Beauregard give him evil glances.

MRSPEPPER: He’ll be in tomorrow, late afternoon, so before then, I believe will be a good time for some…”changes”

THAT ANNOUNCER: What do you mean?

MRSPEPPER: Look at you all, you always come in dressed like you’re just sitting on the couch all day, you all basically have no rules, no restrictions…what we need to is to work on that before Floyd visits!

VIC ROMANO: Why?

MRSPEPPER: It’s like the old saying goes: “First impressions are very important”. And I’ve received many comments saying this outfit is too lazy, too casual, too free!

D’SNWOTH: We’re just thread killers, we’re not little uniformed robots!

MRSPEPPER: That’s right, so all of you be here earlier tomorrow, for your new uniforms, and then we’ll get to work on our reform!

So, MrsPepper exited the conference room, leaving a stiff D’Snowth before a group of mean-looking eyes.

D’SNOWTH: (Gulps) Me and my big mouth!

So D’Snowth was chased out of the conference room, and down the hall until he was out of the building. Early the next morning, drowsy thread killers appeared before MrsPepper in the conference room…some of them apparently still half asleep.

MRSPEPPER: Good morning, and I see a few of you will need it! Before we start, I would like to request that D’Snowth comb your hair and get rid of that stuffed Grover, Vic Romano brush your teeth, That Announcer get out of your pajamas, KermieBaby tie your shoes, Vibs I know those are glasses with open eyes painted on them, and Beauregard get rid of that mop!

A few minutes later…

MRSPEPPER: That’s better…now that we’re all wide awake now…(Cue cricket chirps)…SUIT UP!

So moments later, everyone was standing in line, wearing navy blue t-shirts that said “T*K*O 3976TH” and each shirt had ½ scribbled next to the 3976th. Everyone had on blue jeans, and matching hats…except for That Announcer.

Commercial Break.

MrsPepper was inspecting everyone, and was satisfied with most of them.

MRSPEPPER: D’Snowth, you look uncomfortable.

D’SNOWTH: I hate blue jeans.

MRSPEPPER: Well just grin and bear it!

VIBS: If he does, he’ll be grizzly for the rest of the day!

ALL: VIBS!

MRSPEPPER: That’s another we need to get too…it’s time for our new rules! (Reveals a chalk board with three rules on it) Rule number one: Everyone will listen, and not speak unless spoken too! Rule number two: whenever taking breaks, walk in single-file lines, and go through lunch lines with orderly fashion. And rule number three: we will all now be referred to by our ranks. So keep those rules in your head, and who knows, if Floyd is impressed, maybe I’ll give some of you a raise in the future! Well, it’s time to kill threads, I would like all of you to exit the conference room, and enter your offices in an orderly fashion, and I will be checking with you all, all day to improve yourselves even more! Only the best for Floyd! Now then, please go to your offices!

So throughout the day, MrsPepper would stop by everyone’s offices, and give everyone pointers.

MRSPEPPER: CFO, please sit straight!

D’SNOWTH: Yes MrsPepper.

MRSPEPPER: That’s Mrs. CEO to you from now on! Please make that announcement.

D’SNOWTH: (Getting on the intercom, and imitating the M*A*S*H PA guy) Attention all personnel, please refer to MrsPepper as Mrs. CEO whenever responding to her. That is all.

Later in Vic’s office…

MRSPEPPER: CTK, please pace yourself with your typing.

VIC ROMANO: Yes Mrs. CEO.

Later in That Announcer’s office…

MRSPEPPER: VCK, please remove your Simpsons hat, and put on your T*K*O hat!

THAT ANNOUNCER: Yes Mrs. CEO.

Later in KermieBaby’s office…

MRSPEPPER: You better start post threads to kill, after all that’s your job, UCK!

Later in Vib’s office…

MRSPEPPER: Vibs, this isn’t joke-book reading time, this is thread killing time! Don’t skive off your duties!

This went on, and on, and on, until it came time…

D’SNOWTH: (Over intercom) Attention all personnel, Mrs. CEO will be leaving to pick up her husband to bring him to the building. She will return within three minutes. That is all.

MRSPEPPER: Now CFO, please keep the place in order while I’m gone, and when we return, I want you all on your best behavior! (Exits)

D’SNOWTH: Boy, I feel like the president of the United States is coming…or in her case, the Prime Minister of Canada.

VIC ROMANO: (Peaking from his office) Hey, CFO, is she gone?

D’SNOWTH: (Peaking out window) She just now drove off…

VIC ROMANO: Great! Okay everybody, as CTK, I order you all to change back into your normal clothes, and get as comfortable as you can!

D’SNOWTH: She’ll be back in three minutes, you’ll just have to turn around and change back again!

THAT ANNOUNCER: Not if we can help it!

Commercial Break.

Later that afternoon, MrsPepper and Floyd returned to the 3976th ½.

MRSPEPPER: I’ll have you know sweetheart, I run a pretty tight shift here.

FLOYD PEPPER: Hey, if it’s tight, it’s tight! Now let me see what you do all day, baby!

MrsPepper and Floyd entered the 3976th ½, and heard funk music coming from the lunch room. MrsPepper and Floyd entered the lunch room, to find everyone back in their normal clothes, and tossing their hats everywhere, while dancing on the tables to “Whoomp! There it Is”, meanwhile, D’Snowth is bound and gagged in behind the trashcans.

MRSPEPPER: (Shocked is an understatement) I…I…I…I…I…I…I…I…I…

FLOYD PEPPER: Hoo! You’re right honey, this is what I call a tight shift! (Shouting) Hey dudes and dudettes, mind if I join you all?

ALL: Come on!

FLOYD PEPPER: Cool! Hey honey, thanks for bringing me down here today, this is better than any gig I’ve ever rocked in!

MrsPepper couldn’t believe it, by just them being themselves, they impressed Floyd better than she thought they would by being orderly. It was then that she ran back into the conference room and erased the chalk board, and threw the uniforms into storage. Later that day, as everyone was leaving…

FLOYD PEPPER: If I had the kind of job you have honey, I’d be one happy dude!

MRSPEPPER: Well Floyd, I’ve brought them along quite well!

FLOYD PEPPER: You sure have!

With that, everyone locked up, and left T*K*O for the day…with one exception…

D’SNOWTH: (Managing to get the gag off) Hello? Anyone there? Hello? Can you guys untie me now? I’m getting hungry!

THE END​

 

[That Announcer]

Another great script, man! I can't decide if this is better than Episode 3 or not. Keep it up,
-TA

(PS: Meant to say this, but I gave up the Simpsons hat a week or so ago. It got run through the wash and got the living snot beat out of it, so now I have a Ben & Jerry's hat.)

 

[MrsPepper]

Grargh! I tried to reply and my computer went bonkers. But what I wanted to say before it died on me was:

This.
is.
AMAZING!!!!!

It was SO funny! I loved all the little jokes (like the Prime Minister thing), and the fact that my husband came to visit, and that I went all commando on everyone, and that That Announcer or someone tied you up (sorry bout that), and it was just cool.
**glomps D'Snowth** that was great!!!

 

[That Announcer]

It was SO funny! I loved all the little jokes (like the Prime Minister thing), and the fact that my husband came to visit, and that I went all commando on everyone, and that That Announcer or someone tied you up (sorry bout that), and it was just cool.
**glomps D'Snowth** that was great!!!

Actually, I just realized that Paul Martin couldn't be bothered by us fools at the 3976 1/2 (or whatever the number is), so we'd get Jean Chretien with that facial tic. "Allo, allo! Howe are you today, ah?"

 

[MrsPepper]

TA, that's SO bad! Geez. Hee.

 

[Vibs]

VIBS: If he does, he’ll be grizzly for the rest of the day!

ALL: VIBS!

... I love my stupid, annoying, silly comments and the following "VIBS!" !!
:O) Nicely done duuuude.

Oh and by the way! I'm still a girl and not a boy, if anyone didn't figure by now.
See --->>> <<<---

 

[MrsPepper]

No, we know you're a girl!! Don't worry. I know how you feel. On other forums, I was ALWAYS mistaken for a guy. But on here, my SN gives it away.

 

[That Announcer]

TA, that's SO bad! Geez. Hee.

Eh, I think most Canadians hate me. Why? Well, he's not Sam the Canadian Eagle...

 

[MrsPepper]

Haahee. Naw man, its cool. That's bad, cause he had an illness that left half of his face paralysed, and there we are joking about it...
Hee, YOU are Sam the Canadian Eagle. ^_^

 

[D'Snowth]

Another great script, man! I can't decide if this is better than Episode 3 or not. Keep it up,
-TA

(PS: Meant to say this, but I gave up the Simpsons hat a week or so ago. It got run through the wash and got the living snot beat out of it, so now I have a Ben & Jerry's hat.)

Well then, maybe in a few decades when the series is picked up by TV Land, and the re-edited them all, they'll exclude the part about your Simpsons hat! LOL! I know what you mean, I have an Ed, Edd n Eddy hat that I wore for the longest time, and then for my birthday, my friends gave me a Sesame Street hat which is in the style of like "Class of 123". I also used to have a hat that said "Class of 2007" (which is the year I'll graduate from High School).

Grargh! I tried to reply and my computer went bonkers. But what I wanted to say before it died on me was:

This.
is.
AMAZING!!!!!

It was SO funny! I loved all the little jokes (like the Prime Minister thing), and the fact that my husband came to visit, and that I went all commando on everyone, and that That Announcer or someone tied you up (sorry bout that), and it was just cool.
**glomps D'Snowth** that was great!!!

I was making an "educated guess" (somethin' I wuz tot in skool), but anyway, I got it right didn't I? I know the U.S. has a president, but other countries DO have Prime Ministers instead right? But I understand, you were wanting to make Floyd impressed, and it turned out he was! Oh, and EVERYONE tied me up!
**glomps MrsPepper back** Thank you!!!

Actually, I just realized that Paul Martin couldn't be bothered by us fools at the 3976 1/2 (or whatever the number is),

That's right, 3976th was already taken, and we didn't want 3977, so we made our own unit and voila, 3976 1/2! (Actually, the number 3976, is reference to the number of one my favorite SS episodes).

Oh and by the way! I'm still a girl and not a boy, if anyone didn't figure by now.
See --->>> <<<---

Yes, I still got that. Sorry about my mistaking you in the past.

Boy D'Snowth, you used WAY too many quotes in this post!

Yes I did!