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(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, and Vibs)
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, That Announcer, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, and Vibs)
Episode #: 14
Title: “The Ex-Thread Hijacker, Part 1”
Original Airdate: 12-Now-2005
Written By: MrsPepper, D’Snowth
Created By: MrsPepper
Guest star: Beauregard as The Custodian
It was a cold winter’s day at the 3976th ½. All of the thread killers were busy killing their threads. Vic Romano was busy killing the new Moppet Family threads, That Announcer was Muppet Survivor thread, and Vibs was SUPPOSED to be killing the How’s the weather thread, but she was too busy staring at the empty office of ex-thread killer, KermieBaby47. KermieBaby47 was inducted into the union around the same time Vibs was. Both were later promoted to full-fledged thread killers, but KermieBaby received more than the required points as a thread killer, so he was given an honorable discharge. While Vibs was happy for him, she missed him for he was her best friend. Meanwhile in D’Snowth’s office, the loveable geek was busy cleaning out his desk.
D’SNOWTH: (Cleaning out desk) Confiscated bubblegum, old phone numbers, MrsPepper’s lost key to the cafeteria freezer… (Looks around then stuffs key in pocket), more pictures of Elizabeth Montgomery, Carroll Spinney’s autobiography, and my comic books once borrowed by KermieBaby47.
D’Snowth continued cleaning out his desk. Just by doing that, he made a mess in his own office. Seconds later, his intercom buzzed. He then searched for it under the mess on his desk, until he found it.
D’SNOWTH: (Answers intercom) 3976th ½ T*K*O, D’Snowth speaking. Would you like tickets to our company play?
MRSPEPPER: (Over intercom) What?
D’SNOWTH: The thread killers of the 3976th ½ are holding an annual company play to raise extra money for our website. Tickets sell for $15.00 per adult, $10.00 per child, and $30.00 for any senior citizen over the age of 50.
MRSPEPPER: (Over intercom) D’Snowth…
D’SNOWTH: (Shocked) Oh, ugh, hi boss! Heh-heh-heh…
MRSPEPPER: D’Snowth, what was that business about the 3976th ½ holding a company play to earn extra money for our website?
D’SNOWTH: Well, I, uh…it was all Vic’s idea! He thought if we raised enough money, we could have a PROFESSIONAL website!
MRSPEPPER: Let ME worry about that will you?! I need you step in my office please.
D’SNOWTH: Oh…yeah. Sure.
With that, D’Snowth entered the backdoor of his office which lead to the luxurious office of the 3976th ½’s C.E.O., and president, MrsPepper. MrsPepper then turned around in her huge leather chair to face D’Snowth, who was jotting his eyes back and forth.
MRSPEPPER: Ah, D’Snowth. Great.
D’SNOWTH: I haven’t seen your missing key to the freezer…oops!
MRSPEPPER: Hand it over!
D’Snowth sighed as he reached into his pocket, and pulled out the key, and handed it to MrsPepper.
MRSPEPPER: Now you guys won’t be sneaking into the freezer for extra ice cream for lunch time.
D’SNOWTH: (Playing dumb) Well, what makes you think we sneak into the freezer for extra ice cream at lunch time?
MRSPEPPER: A little invention I like to call…the surveillance camera. Anyway, I called you in here because I have received the files of KermieBaby47’s replacement.
D’SNOWTH: (Shocked) You got a replacement? For KermieBaby47?!
MRSPEPPER: Yes, (Looks at the file) and this gal knows what she’s doing!
D’SNOWTH: (Under his breath) Just what this firm needs, another girl!
MRSPEPPER: (Insulted) D’Snowth! Don’t tell me someone like you doesn’t believe in equality among the sexes!
D’SNOWTH: Oh no of course not, some of my best friends are girls!
MRSPEPPER: Elizabeth Montgomery doesn’t count. She’s dead.
D’SNOWTH: (Sadly) Yeah…
MRSPEPPER: Anyway, our replacement is a gal named, TogetherAgain. She has been a member of Muppet Central for only 5 months, but she has a total of 1945 posts. She claims to be a former member of the T*H*O.
D’SNOWTH: T*H*O?
MRSPEPPER: Yes, that’s the “Thread Hijackers Organization”. Their jobs were to take complete control over certain threads, but it says here, she left because before she even had a chance to hijack the thread, WE killed them. It also says here, she’s decided if she couldn’t beat them, then join them. She was originally going to be sent to the 001st, but Number One is full, so I decided to hire her as KermieBaby47’s replacement. She’ll be in later this afternoon, and I’m going to have Vic show her around.
D’SNOWTH: Wow.
Commercial break.
Later that afternoon, a silhouette approached D’Snowth’s open office door. The silhouette then made its way over to D’Snowth’s desk. D’Snowth was too busy e-mailing to notice.
VOICE: Excuse me… (D’Snowth pays no mind) EXCUSE me……….HELLO?!
D’SNOWTH: You’re excused! You’re excused, now excuse ME!
VOICE: I’m here to see MrsPepper? I’m the new thread killer…
D’Snowth then turned around and found the new recruit: TogetherAgain. D’Snowth then got out the files.
D’SNOWTH: You, ugh, you TogetherAgain?
TOGETHERAGAIN: Yes I am.
D’SNOWTH: Ah yes, you’re KermieBaby47’s replacement! (Pushes button on intercom) MrsPepper?
MRSPEPPER: (Over intercom) No D’Snowth, I’m not going to remove those surveillance tapes from your permanent records…
D’SNOWTH: Oh no no no no no, TogetherAgain is here, KermieBaby47’s replacement.
MRSPEPPER: Oh, well that’s different! Send her in!
D’SNOWTH: (Hangs up) Okay, go right on in.
With that, TogetherAgain entered the office of an excited MrsPepper.
MRSPEPPER: Ah, TogetherAgain, it’s such a pleasure to meet you!
TOGETHERAGAIN: Same here ma’am.
MRSPEPPER: I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re here! When we’re short a thread killer, that makes out days even worse! Anyway, you’re being assigned as a Union Thread Killer since you’re just starting out.
TOGETHERAGAIN: So, what all will I be doing?
MRSPEPPER: Not to worry, our Chief Thread Killer, Vic Romano will show you the ropes. Ooh, I almost forgot! (Pages D’Snowth) D’Snowth? Will you please send Vic Romano to my office please?
Seconds later, the PA speakers all buzzed loudly. MrsPepper didn’t seem bothered, as she was accustomed to the ringing speakers, but TogetherAgain was holding her ears in pain.
D’SNOWTH: (Over PA system) Attention, all personnel, will Vic Romano please report to MrsPepper’s office immediately?
Meanwhile, down the hallway…
THAT ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh, what’d you do this time?
VIC ROMANO: Nothing, I have to show our new thread killer the joint, and how to kill threads.
THAT ANNOUNCER: (Surprised) We gotta new thread killer?
VIC ROMANO: Yeah, we’ve got a new girl replacing KermieBaby47.
THAT ANNOUNCER: (Shocked) MrsPepper found a replacement for KermieBaby47?! This I gotta see!
With that, That Announcer accompanied Vic Romano to MrsPepper’s office.
MRSPEPPER: Ah Vic, I see (Notices That Announcer)…I see this job was too big for one person to handle.
VIC ROMANO: No ma’am, this guy was just so anxious to meet our new recruit.
MRSPEPPER: Indeed. (To TogetherAgain) TogetherAgain, these are our top thread killers, Vic Romano, and That Announcer. THEY will be showing you the everyday life here out our little circus.
Meanwhile, back in Vibs’s office, the spunky little Dane was anything but. She angrily pounding her desk as she overheard Vic mention a replacement for KermieBaby47.
VIBS: How can they replace him?! How can they replace him?! This is the worst day of my life!
The next pound on her desk actually dented the wood! Vibs then starting crying.
VIBS: How can they replace him?! He was the greatest thread killer we ever had!!! (Looks at KermieBaby’s empty office) Dang! I might as well go A.W.O.L.!
Back in MrsPepper’s office.
MRSPEPPER: (Signing papers) Well, everything’s in order! Congratulations, and welcome aboard TogetherAgain!
TOGETHERAGAIN: (Shakes hands) Thank you very much MrsPepper!
Suddenly D’Snowth ran in.
D’SNOWTH: MrsPepper, um, Vibs is going A.W.O.L.!
MRSPEPPER: She is?! How do you know?
D’SNOWTH: (Without missing a beat) I have all the offices bugged!
TogetherAgain then had a streak of discomfort on her face, and Vic and That Announcer’s eyes popped out.
VIC ROMANO: I knew it!
THAT ANNOUNCER: So THAT’S how you knew I was going to revive the weather thread!
MRSPEPPER: Oh, so that was YOU!
That Announcer started to stutter and stammer, as MrsPepper ordered D’Snowth to page Vibs into her office.
MRSPEPPER: Well, with that taken care of, you two will show our new thread killer around, and TogetherAgain, don’t mind D’Snowth, he’s Radar O'Reilly with a sick mind!
TOGETHERAGAIN: (Confused) Okay.
Commercial break.
Moments later, Vic Romano and That Announcer were escorting TogetherAgain down the hallway to her new office. They passed Vibs, who had her shoulders shrugged to ignore them. Vic Romano turned on the lights to reveal TogetherAgain’s office.
VIC ROMANO: Well, here it is! This is your office, and you have the most up-to-date modern technology to kill threads.
TOGETHERAGAIN: Nice space, I’m sure I can fancy this office up nice. It just needs a woman’s touch!
Vic and That Announcer looked at each other a snickered at “a woman’s touch”.
TOGETHERAGAIN: You know, (Turns around) I believe I’m going to…what’s that?
Vic and That Announcer turned around to find Vibs’s office door covered with hand-drawn “Yankee Go Home” signs.
TOGETHERAGAIN: Something tells me this… (Looks under sign to name on door) Vibs doesn’t like baseball players much.
VIC ROMANO: She’s a foreigner.
TOGETHERAGAIN: (Interested) Oh? This is a multi-cultural industry?
THAT ANNOUNCER: Oh yeah, Vibs is Danish, MrsPepper and I are Canadian, and D’Snowth comes from the land of Flying Squirrels.
VIC ROMANO: Anyway, as we were saying, this is your office (points down the front of hall) That’s the lounge area. (Walks down back end of hallway) These are the bathrooms, and down there is the cafeteria.
TOGETHERAGAIN: (Sniffs the air) Oh yeah, that’s the bathrooms alright!
THAT ANNOUNCER: Naw, that’s Beauregard our janitor. He’s also our lunch man.
TOGETHERAGAIN: Lunch man?
THAT ANNOUNCER: Yeah, he’s the janitor, chef, and our under appreciated recurring guest.
VIC ROMANO: That’s true. Well TogetherAgain, let us help you set-up your office.
The three then walked back down the hallway, towards TogetherAgain’s office when suddenly a loud bell went off.
TOGETHERAGAIN: (Shocked) What’s happening?!
TO BE CONTINUED…
