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(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and Beauregard)
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, D’Snowth, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and Beauregard)
Episode#: 39
Title: “Music to Kill By”
Original Airdate: 29-Jan-2006
Written By: Ronny Graham, D’Snowth
Created By: MrsPepper
Our story opens today in D’Snowth’s office, where he was busy cleaning out his office again.
D’SNOWTH: How can I let this place get so junky?
D‘Snowth opened his bottom drawer, cleaned out old folders and papers to find something he had been looking for quite some time.
D‘SNOWTH: Oh boy! My library of CD’s!!! And my CD player!!! Finally, I can listen to some music to help make the thread killing a little more pleasant!
D’Snowth went through his CD’s to find one to listen to while he killed his threads, when MrsPepper walked out of her office.
MRSPEPPER: Just what do you think you’re doing?
D’SNOWTH: Oh, just trying to find a CD I feel like listening to.
MRSPEPPER: Listening to music while killing threads?
D’SNOWTH: Yeah well, I thought it would make the thread killing a bit more, well you know, relaxing?
MRSPEPPER: (Thinks) Hmm, you know something Snowthers, you have a good idea there!
D’SNOWTH: I do?
MRSPEPPER: Yes... yes, why don’t we start our own little company radio station? We could play music over the PA system all day long; it certainly would make killing threads a bit more pleasant, especially when we have really hard weeks like this one.
D’SNOWTH: Yeah, and I could be the DJ!
MRSPEPPER: You know anything about being a radio DJ?
D’SNOWTH: You kidding? I was a DJ for our school’s news/radio show in the 8th grade.
MRSPEPPER: That’s Grade 8.
D’SNOWTH: Same difference. I went by the name “DJ Salvatore”, and let me tell you, I couldn’t walk down the hallways for quite sometime without someone shouting “Hey Salvatore!”
MRSPEPPER: You think you can take care of this?
D'SNOWTH: Watch me work my magic!
A few moments later, everyone was hard at work killing their threads for the day; some of them were quite sleepy, but were suddenly startled by a usual announcement.
D’SNOWTH: (Over PA system) Attention all personnel, welcome to the first broadcasting of WTKO 3976.5 FM, I’m your host DJ Salvatore, and to start off our broadcast day, here’s a golden oldie, “Movin’ Right Along” by Kermit the Frog, and Fozzie Bear!
Just then, everyone heard “Movin’ right along” being played over the PA system.
THEPRAWNCRACKER: We have our own radio station now?
VIC ROMANO: Aw, were always the last to know.
THEPRAWNCRACKER: Hey, do you think they take requests?
VIC ROMANO: Let’s find out...
Meanwhile back in D’Snowth’s office, D’Snowth had the PA microphone switched on, and sitting next to a boom box that was playing the CD’s.
MRSPEPPER: I got to hand it to you D’Snowth; you’re an inspiration to all of us!
Just then the phone rang, so D’Snowth answered it.
D’SNOWTH: (On the phone) 3976th 1/2 T*K*O. Oh, hey Vic, what’s up. Yeah, I guess I can take requests, I can’t guarantee I have what you’ll request, and my taste in music is a bit different but...
Just then MrsPepper paused the CD and grabbed the microphone.
MRSPEPPER: (Over the PA system) Attention everyone, this is MrsPepper speaking, our “DJ Salvatore” is starting to take requests for... what was it, WTKO? Anyway, in case he doesn’t have what you request, you may forward any CD you may happen to have around to his office and he’ll play them for you. That is all.
So MrsPepper returned everyone to “Movin’ Right Along”, just as the other thread killers walked in with CD’s in their hands to play. They all dropped them on D’Snowth’s desk and merrily walked back to their offices.
MRSPEPPER: Well Snowthers, nice that you take requests, as I have a CD for you to play too, hold on!
MrsPepper stepped into her office, and then walked back out with a Bare-naked Ladies CD.
MRSPEPPER: Snowthers, I want you to play track 8, “If I Had a Million Dollars”.
D’SNOWTH: Aw, MrsPepper...
MRSPEPPER: I. Want. You. To. Play. It.
D’SNOWTH: Well okay, but as you can see there’s a lot of people ahead of you, it may not be till later this evening...
MRSPEPPER: (Interrupting) Salvatore, let me remind you, I OWN this station!
D’SNOWTH: ... And it’s coming right up, boss. Uh, MrsPepper... owner.
MRSPEPPER: Real cool.
With that, MrsPepper went back into her office as “Movin’ right along” came to an end. With that, D’Snowth went back on the air as DJ Salvatore.
D’SNOWTH: (Over PA system) Hiya, hiya, hiya yall, this is DJ Salvatore; hope yall liked that great muppetational hit, “Movin’ Right Along”! Speaking of which, this morning, as I was movin’ right along to this here T*K*O Land, I realized this guy was repeatedly honking his horn behind me, I turn around to see this old guy with a real big nose right on my bumper, so I called out to him and I said “that’s quite a honker you got there pal!” (Chuckles).
Back in MrsPepper’s office...
MRSPEPPER: Bad pun, bad pun, whatcha gonna do?
D’SNOWTH: (Over the PA system) And now, we’ll be movin’ right along again, cuz comin’ up next, a request made by our very own Mrs. “I am woman, hear me roar” Pepper... “If I Had a Million Dollars” by Bare-naked Ladies.
With that, D’Snowth dropped in the Bare-naked Ladies CD, and skipped over to “If I Had a Million Dollars”, which he began playing on the PA system.
Commercial Break.
“If I Had A Million Dollars,” continued playing over the PA system. MrsPepper was happily singing along in her office, a little obnoxiously...
MRSPEPPER: (Singing badly) ... If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, we’ll I’d buy you a fur coat... but not a real fur coat that’s cruel! And if I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars, well I’d buy you an exotic pet... yep like a llama or an emus!
Back, in Vic Romano’s office, Vic was going over Prawnie’s threads for him.
VIC ROMANO: What’s up with this?
THEPRAWNCRACKER: I distinctly remember being the first one in Salmonella's office with a CD.
VIC ROMANO: How can MrsPepper listen to this crap?
THEPRAWNCRACKER: By being a Canadian?
VIC ROMANO: Maybe.
About a half hour later, D’Snowth was rummaging through the CDs left on his desk, when he came across a note slipped in between a couple of them. He read the note, annoyingly sighed and rolled his eyes, as the current playing of “Rubber band Man” came to an end. D’Snowth then signed back on.
D’SNOWTH: (Over PA system) and now, for the fifth request this afternoon, that folksy little ditty, “If I Had a Million Dollars”...
The song began playing again as the other thread killers began groan. At that moment, it just so happened MrsPepper was in TogetherAgain’s office, to help her out understand why a certain thread needed to be killed.
TOGETHERAGAIN: (Groans) Again? MrsPepper, there’s got to be a special reason why you like this song so much!
MRSPEPPER: Yeah, well... don’t you just love it? This is my kind of song, and plus, the Bare-naked Ladies are Canadian, and they kick butt!!!
Just then, Vic Romano busted in.
VIC ROMANO: Oh there you are! MrsPepper, another one of those anti-thread killers just posted a hot thread at the MC forum... and it’s all about the many ways they want to kill YOU!
MRSPEPPER: Ooh, how DARE they! Come on everybody let’s hop to it!
MrsPepper then stormed out of Toga’s office, and went through D’Snowth’s office.
MRSPEPPER: D’Snowth, there’s a nasty little booger on the MC forum harassing me and saying a bunch of lies about me, thinking I’m not aware of them. This happens to you all the time at other forums, how do you handle it?
D’SNOWTH: I can’t, I’ve been BANNED from said “other forums”. The worst they can do is sell your personal information... and they’ve already bombed me in that department.
MRSPEPPER: They can’t do that to you!
D’SNOWTH: Well they have, and now every Tom, Dick and Jay Edgar on the Internet knows my given name and where I live!
MRSPEPPER: D’Snowth, my dear D’Snowth, can’t just take this sit back and let them do this to you; you should stand up for yourself!
D’SNOWTH: I did, that’s how I got banned.
MRSPEPPER: That’s not right!
D’SNOWTH: Cyber-life’s not fair.
MRSPEPPER: Well, we’ve got to get this under control, kill that thread anyway you can, this is going to be a long night!
MrsPepper was all too right, for the evening passed hour after hour as everyone did his or her part in trying to kill the “MrsPepper is a Hypocrite” thread. Finally at around midnight, two hours after closing time, the thread was finally locked and the member banned. MrsPepper finally breathed a sigh of relief, as Vic Romano and ThePrawnCracker walked in.
VIC ROMANO: MrsPepper? Are you okay?
MRSPEPPER: (Tired) Yeah... yeah, I’m okay. You all did a good job today, and I really appreciate you all helping me out with that guy. Maybe someday we can do the same for D’Snowth.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah, the kid could use a break!
Moments later, in D’Snowth’s office, D’Snowth sleepily on the air as “If I Had a Million Dollars” played yet again.
D’SNOWTH: (Sleepily, over the PA system) you know, uh, this is D’Snowth, mike-side... talking to you over the mike, and this is the 23rd playing... of the old “If I Had a Million Dollars”. You know, I’ve really enjoyed staying up night playing this tune. And now that we’ve all heard it... we’ll never forget it, including me... because I played it 23 times. And you folks have been so kind... with your requests, and kind requests... that I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to stay here with “If I Had a Million Dollars” for 12 more hours! How’s that you hot potatoes out there in T*K*O Land?
Just then, MrsPepper walked into D’Snowth’s office and turned off his boom box.
MRSPEPPER: That concludes our broadcast day, you just signed off.
D’SNOWTH: But MrsPepper, my loyal listeners...
MRSPEPPER: ... Are the ones that asked me to shut you off.
D’SNOWTH: (Sadly) Oh.
MRSPEPPER: Don’t feel too bad, you did a good job! You kept us going at a crucial time. I’m proud of you D’Snowth.
D’SNOWTH: Thank you MrsPepper.
MRSPEPPER: And for the first time in my life, I can honestly say... maybe I’m sick and tired of the Bare-naked Ladies.
Commercial Break.
D’Snowth was putting his CD’s back up when he came across a certain one that caught his eye.
D’SNOWTH: Oh... OH! I forgot I had this one!
So D’Snowth placed the CD in the boom box and began playing “September” by Earth, Wind & Fire over the PA, as the closing credits begin to role...
THE END
Executive Producer: Phillip Chapman
Producer: MrsPepper
Head Writer: D’Snowth
Songs
“Movin’ Right Along”
Performed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz
“If I Had a Million Dollars”
Performed by Bare-naked Ladies
“Rubber Band Man”
Performed by The Spinners
“Rainbow Connection”
Performed by Jim Henson’s Muppets
“Let the Sunshine In”
Performed by The 5th Dimension
“September”
Performed by Earth, Wind & Fire
Executive Producer: Phillip Chapman
Producer: MrsPepper
Head Writer: D’Snowth
Songs
“Movin’ Right Along”
Performed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz
“If I Had a Million Dollars”
Performed by Bare-naked Ladies
“Rubber Band Man”
Performed by The Spinners
“Rainbow Connection”
Performed by Jim Henson’s Muppets
“Let the Sunshine In”
Performed by The 5th Dimension
“September”
Performed by Earth, Wind & Fire
Brillient!
Thanks for helping me, you guys... sorry for the torture!