Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends BookIt was another typical day at the 3976th ½… typical that is until something happened that fateful day; we open in Vic Romano’s office where MrsPepper was going over some ideas with him.
MRSPEPPER: (Reading over a paper) … And this is the new thread killing technique developed at the 001st.
VIC ROMANO: But will it work for us?
MRSPEPPER: Oh I’m sure it will, believe me if Number One says it’ll work…
Just then there was a bang at the door.
VIC ROMANO: Who could that be?
MRSPEPPER: I’m not sure, but I better find out…
With that MrsPepper walked out of Vic’s office and to the front door where she was then met with Doc Hopper, Nicky Holiday, Long John Silver, Ed Singer, Dr. Hugo Krassman, and Rachel Bitterman.
Episode #: 50
Title: “Ball of Revenge”
Original Airdate: 23-Mar-2007
Written by: Michelle Belly Dilworth, D’Snowth
Created by: MrsPepper
Guest Stars: Phillip Chapman as Number One, AnythingMuppet, Bill Bubble Guy as Father Marty, ReneeLouvier as Officer ReneeLouvier, furryredmonster as Officer Furryredmonster, redBoobergurl as Judge RedBoobergurl, Princeton as Dingo, UNCREDITED as 3976th President, DanDanStrawberry as Greasy Guy
Special Muppet Guest Appearances By: Dr. Teeth, Janice, Floyd Pepper, Zoot, Lips, Animal, and a Crab
Special Celebrity Guest Appearances By: Charles Durning as Doc Hopper, Charles Grodin as Nicky Holiday, Tim Curry as Long John Silver, Jeffery Tambor as K. Edgar Singer, John Hostetter as Dr. Hugo Krassman, and Joan Cusack as Rachel Bitterman
MrsPepper was startled to find the villains of the Muppet movies on the doorstep of the 3976th ½ T*K*O, what were they doing there? What did they want? Your guess is as good as ours!
MRSPEPPER: Um… can I help you?
DOC HOPPER: Where’s d’frog?
K. EDGAR SINGER: Oh forget the frog, WHERE’S THE ALIENS?
LONG JOHN SILVER: I don’t give a **** about either, where’s the bloody treasure?
DR. HUGO KRASSMAN: STOP IT!
NICKY HOLIDAY: I was so close to having my sister’s Baseball Diamond in my red heads…
BEAUREGARD: (Interrupts) What color are your hands now?
MRSPEPPER: BEAU! (Back to the villains) What brings you here?
The villains didn’t say anything; they simply grabbed MrsPepper and Beauregard and raced to the café, bringing Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and even Father Marty with them. Moments later the café was divided: MrsPepper, Vic, Prawnie, Toga, Vibs, and Beau against the Muppet movie villains.
MRSPEPPER: What is all this?
RACHEL BITTERMAN: On account of you being on the side of those stupid muffets, we challenge you all to a dodge ball game!
Off to the side were AnythingMuppet, Judge RedBoobergurl, Officers ReneeLouvier and Furryredmonster, Dingo on parole, and the President of the 3976th, all eating hotdogs and popcorn? Just then Father Marty stepped in the middle of the court to lay down the ground rules.
FATHER MARTY: Okay, now then, let’s have a clean match, I can’t stand the sight of blood… oh and uh, may the Lord bless and keep you all during this time of… well, not “friendly” competition… but competition nonetheless. Okay. Bless one and all.
With that Father Marty left the court and blew his whistle to announce round one in which the villains all in unison pelted our heroes with dodgeballs.
VIC ROMANO: Seven against six, this isn’t fair!
THEPRAWNCRACKER: I don’t even understand what’s going on here, why are they attacking us?
MRSPEPPER: Because the Muppets are our friends, and because of that…
MrsPepper couldn’t finish her statement because at that time Doc Hopper threw his wooden cutout of Kermit the Frog right at her head. Before the others could do anything, Long John Silver started throwing crabs at everyone, one of which hit Prawnie in the face.
CRAB: You know, now that I’m divorced I’m broke and need more money… you have an idea for a new blockbuster for me?
Before Prawnie could answer, Dr. Mr. Krassman hit him in the face with a Biology book, meanwhile in the audience.
OFFICER FURRYREDMONSTER: I really think we should place all of these hood ornaments under arrest!
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: HOODLUMS! HOODLUMS!
DINGO: its too bad Hacker was executed; he would’ve loved to see this!
3976TH PRESIDENT: Oh will you guys just shut up? I’m trying to watch the game here!
Just then Ed Singer pulled a stress ball out of his suit pocket and hurled it at Vibs’s head.
VIBS: Aw, now I’m REALLY stressed out now-ish!
ALL: VIBS!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: Please, that joke was so lame!
DR. HUGO KRASSMAN: Some of the stunts they’re trying to pull are lame; this isn’t anything like the movies!
DOC HOPPER: I WANT DAT FROG!!!
NICKY HOLIDAY: I WANT THAT DIAMOND!!!
LONG JOHN SILVER: I WANT THE TREASURE!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: I WANT THE MULLETS’ THEATER!
K. EDGAR SINGER: I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO SHUT UP, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Just then Father Marty blew his whistle.
FATHER MARTY: Fair enough, it’s time for the half time show anyway.
With that, the Electric Mayhem was brought out to perform a half time show song.
THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM: (Singing) Half time show! Half time show! Yeah yeah! No no! Half time show!
ANIMAL: GO TO COMMERCIAL! GO TO COMMERCIAL!
FLOYD PEPPER: Hey man, chill out!
ANIMAL: CHILL OUT! CHILL OUT!
JANICE: Fer shure.
*Commercial Break*
By this time our poor heroes were beat to the bone.
VIC ROMANO: It’s no use, they’re too darn strong!
THEPRAWNCRACKER: They’ve got a bigger variety of ammo than we do…
MRSPEPPER: I KNOW! I KNOW!
DOC HOPPER: Hey, what’s the hold up here? We’d like to finish this game sometime today!
DR. HUGO KRASSMAN: Oh, why don’t we just call the game, I’ve got to get tomorrow’s Biology lessons prepared!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: Are you nuts? We can’t back out now, look they’re already ready to give up… just as I had
planned!
NICKY HOLIDAY: Just like YOU planned?! Excuse me dear lady, but I do believe this whole thing was MY idea!
DOC HOPPER: Now wait just a minute, I was the first villain in the world of Muppet movies, and if I remember correctly this was all my idea!
As Doc, Nicky, and Bitterman continued their argument, Dr. Mr. Krassman dropped his ammo and left the building, meanwhile Long John Silver had quietly snuck into MrsPepper’s office and discovered a very small company safe in her private lunch parlor, he found a small piece of paper that had been slipped underneath the safe that read “In case of emergency, see D’Snowth for combination”. Meanwhile, back in the café…
DOC HOPPER: MY IDEA!
NICKY HOLIDAY: MY IDEA!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: MY IDEA!
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: Who do you thinks going to win?
OFFICER FURRYREDMONSTER: I’ve got ten dollars that says our guys will win!
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: I mean who do you thinks going to win this argument?
ANYTHINGMUPPET: Boy, I sure could use some more popcorn!
3976TH PRESIDENT: SHUT UP!
ANYTHINGMUPPET: YOU SHUT UP YOU BIG FRANK!
OFFICER FURRYREDMONSTER: Why don’t you both shut up before we throw you in the heater?
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: COOLER!
Back to the argument…
DOC HOPPER: MY IDEA!
NICKY HOLIDAY: MY IDEA!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: MY IDEA!
K. EDGAR SINGER: ENOUGH ALREADY! This argument is wasting everybody’s time!
DOC HOPPER, NICKY HOLIDAY, and RACHEL BITTERMAN: You keep out of this!
K. EDGAR SINGER: (Sighs) I’ve had it! I’ve had it! I’m going home!
With that, Singer left the building as well while Long John walked back into the café.
LONG JOHN SILVER: Where’s D’Snowth?
MRSPEPPER: Not here anymore luckily, why?
LONG JOHN SILVER: I need the combination to the safe so I can get my hands on the treasure!
MRSPEPPER: Oh shoot, I forgot to get the combination from him before he was fired…
Suddenly MrsPepper was hit in the side of the head with an actual dodge ball thrown by Miss Bitterman.
MRSPEPPER: (Snaps) Alright, that’s it, I’ve had it! There must be SOMETHING we can use against them!
Just then Beauregard walked out of the kitchen with a huge pot of Custodian’s Surprise.
BEAUREGARD: Soup’s on!
VIC ROMANO: That’s it!
With that, MrsPepper, Vic, and Prawnie grabbed the pot of Custodian’s Surprise and doused the remaining villains with the gooey, sticky substance.
BEAUREGARD: You know, I’m really getting sick of you people using my cooking for everything other than the purposes of eating!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: Oh my… oh, what IS this crap?
NICKY HOLIDAY: My socks! My brand new socks… RUINED!
DOC HOPPER: Suddenly I have no appetite!
Yes the villains couldn’t budge as the surprise was working like a bottle of school glue.
FATHER MARTY: Well, I guess I can safely say “game called on account of soup”!
VIC ROMANO: (Correcting him) Surprise.
FATHER MARTY: (Without missing a beat) Yes I am, this certain has been one surprising game of dodge ball.
Vic shook his head as MrsPepper chuckled in relief.
*Commercial Break*
Later that evening after everything was cleaned up MrsPepper walked into the lounge where everyone else had gathered around the TV set.
MRSPEPPER: What’s all the huh-bub?
No one answered, but Vic pointed to the screen, signalling for MrsPepper to walk over to see what was going on. The screen revealed the exterior of a correctional facility in Florida.
ANNOUNCER: an un-identified wimpy, greasy looking guy who was constantly heard shouting “I’ll get MrsPepper if it’s the last thing I do, I want my pen” has just made an escape attempt!…
Everyone then turned towards MrsPepper.
MRSPEPPER: Well, looks like I’ll simply have to file another restraining order.
VIC ROMANO: You already filed one against that greasy guy?
MRSPEPPER: No, I filed one against D’Snowth, after what that little weasel did to me, I don’t want him within three feet of my buffer zone!
So MrsPepper walked out of the building for the night.
FATHER MARTY: What in Heaven’s name did D’Snowth do to MrsPepper that would cause her to file a restraining order against him?
THEPRAWNCRACKER: We don’t know.
VIC ROMANO: And we never will.
MRSPEPPER: (Reading over a paper) … And this is the new thread killing technique developed at the 001st.
VIC ROMANO: But will it work for us?
MRSPEPPER: Oh I’m sure it will, believe me if Number One says it’ll work…
Just then there was a bang at the door.
VIC ROMANO: Who could that be?
MRSPEPPER: I’m not sure, but I better find out…
With that MrsPepper walked out of Vic’s office and to the front door where she was then met with Doc Hopper, Nicky Holiday, Long John Silver, Ed Singer, Dr. Hugo Krassman, and Rachel Bitterman.
T*K*O
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and Beauregard)
(Starring: MrsPepper, Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and Beauregard)
Episode #: 50
Title: “Ball of Revenge”
Original Airdate: 23-Mar-2007
Written by: Michelle Belly Dilworth, D’Snowth
Created by: MrsPepper
Guest Stars: Phillip Chapman as Number One, AnythingMuppet, Bill Bubble Guy as Father Marty, ReneeLouvier as Officer ReneeLouvier, furryredmonster as Officer Furryredmonster, redBoobergurl as Judge RedBoobergurl, Princeton as Dingo, UNCREDITED as 3976th President, DanDanStrawberry as Greasy Guy
Special Muppet Guest Appearances By: Dr. Teeth, Janice, Floyd Pepper, Zoot, Lips, Animal, and a Crab
Special Celebrity Guest Appearances By: Charles Durning as Doc Hopper, Charles Grodin as Nicky Holiday, Tim Curry as Long John Silver, Jeffery Tambor as K. Edgar Singer, John Hostetter as Dr. Hugo Krassman, and Joan Cusack as Rachel Bitterman
MrsPepper was startled to find the villains of the Muppet movies on the doorstep of the 3976th ½ T*K*O, what were they doing there? What did they want? Your guess is as good as ours!
MRSPEPPER: Um… can I help you?
DOC HOPPER: Where’s d’frog?
K. EDGAR SINGER: Oh forget the frog, WHERE’S THE ALIENS?
LONG JOHN SILVER: I don’t give a **** about either, where’s the bloody treasure?
DR. HUGO KRASSMAN: STOP IT!
NICKY HOLIDAY: I was so close to having my sister’s Baseball Diamond in my red heads…
BEAUREGARD: (Interrupts) What color are your hands now?
MRSPEPPER: BEAU! (Back to the villains) What brings you here?
The villains didn’t say anything; they simply grabbed MrsPepper and Beauregard and raced to the café, bringing Vic Romano, ThePrawnCracker, TogetherAgain, Vibs, and even Father Marty with them. Moments later the café was divided: MrsPepper, Vic, Prawnie, Toga, Vibs, and Beau against the Muppet movie villains.
MRSPEPPER: What is all this?
RACHEL BITTERMAN: On account of you being on the side of those stupid muffets, we challenge you all to a dodge ball game!
Off to the side were AnythingMuppet, Judge RedBoobergurl, Officers ReneeLouvier and Furryredmonster, Dingo on parole, and the President of the 3976th, all eating hotdogs and popcorn? Just then Father Marty stepped in the middle of the court to lay down the ground rules.
FATHER MARTY: Okay, now then, let’s have a clean match, I can’t stand the sight of blood… oh and uh, may the Lord bless and keep you all during this time of… well, not “friendly” competition… but competition nonetheless. Okay. Bless one and all.
With that Father Marty left the court and blew his whistle to announce round one in which the villains all in unison pelted our heroes with dodgeballs.
VIC ROMANO: Seven against six, this isn’t fair!
THEPRAWNCRACKER: I don’t even understand what’s going on here, why are they attacking us?
MRSPEPPER: Because the Muppets are our friends, and because of that…
MrsPepper couldn’t finish her statement because at that time Doc Hopper threw his wooden cutout of Kermit the Frog right at her head. Before the others could do anything, Long John Silver started throwing crabs at everyone, one of which hit Prawnie in the face.
CRAB: You know, now that I’m divorced I’m broke and need more money… you have an idea for a new blockbuster for me?
Before Prawnie could answer, Dr. Mr. Krassman hit him in the face with a Biology book, meanwhile in the audience.
OFFICER FURRYREDMONSTER: I really think we should place all of these hood ornaments under arrest!
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: HOODLUMS! HOODLUMS!
DINGO: its too bad Hacker was executed; he would’ve loved to see this!
3976TH PRESIDENT: Oh will you guys just shut up? I’m trying to watch the game here!
Just then Ed Singer pulled a stress ball out of his suit pocket and hurled it at Vibs’s head.
VIBS: Aw, now I’m REALLY stressed out now-ish!
ALL: VIBS!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: Please, that joke was so lame!
DR. HUGO KRASSMAN: Some of the stunts they’re trying to pull are lame; this isn’t anything like the movies!
DOC HOPPER: I WANT DAT FROG!!!
NICKY HOLIDAY: I WANT THAT DIAMOND!!!
LONG JOHN SILVER: I WANT THE TREASURE!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: I WANT THE MULLETS’ THEATER!
K. EDGAR SINGER: I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO SHUT UP, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Just then Father Marty blew his whistle.
FATHER MARTY: Fair enough, it’s time for the half time show anyway.
With that, the Electric Mayhem was brought out to perform a half time show song.
THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM: (Singing) Half time show! Half time show! Yeah yeah! No no! Half time show!
ANIMAL: GO TO COMMERCIAL! GO TO COMMERCIAL!
FLOYD PEPPER: Hey man, chill out!
ANIMAL: CHILL OUT! CHILL OUT!
JANICE: Fer shure.
*Commercial Break*
By this time our poor heroes were beat to the bone.
VIC ROMANO: It’s no use, they’re too darn strong!
THEPRAWNCRACKER: They’ve got a bigger variety of ammo than we do…
MRSPEPPER: I KNOW! I KNOW!
DOC HOPPER: Hey, what’s the hold up here? We’d like to finish this game sometime today!
DR. HUGO KRASSMAN: Oh, why don’t we just call the game, I’ve got to get tomorrow’s Biology lessons prepared!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: Are you nuts? We can’t back out now, look they’re already ready to give up… just as I had
planned!
NICKY HOLIDAY: Just like YOU planned?! Excuse me dear lady, but I do believe this whole thing was MY idea!
DOC HOPPER: Now wait just a minute, I was the first villain in the world of Muppet movies, and if I remember correctly this was all my idea!
As Doc, Nicky, and Bitterman continued their argument, Dr. Mr. Krassman dropped his ammo and left the building, meanwhile Long John Silver had quietly snuck into MrsPepper’s office and discovered a very small company safe in her private lunch parlor, he found a small piece of paper that had been slipped underneath the safe that read “In case of emergency, see D’Snowth for combination”. Meanwhile, back in the café…
DOC HOPPER: MY IDEA!
NICKY HOLIDAY: MY IDEA!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: MY IDEA!
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: Who do you thinks going to win?
OFFICER FURRYREDMONSTER: I’ve got ten dollars that says our guys will win!
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: I mean who do you thinks going to win this argument?
ANYTHINGMUPPET: Boy, I sure could use some more popcorn!
3976TH PRESIDENT: SHUT UP!
ANYTHINGMUPPET: YOU SHUT UP YOU BIG FRANK!
OFFICER FURRYREDMONSTER: Why don’t you both shut up before we throw you in the heater?
OFFICER RENEELOUVIER: COOLER!
Back to the argument…
DOC HOPPER: MY IDEA!
NICKY HOLIDAY: MY IDEA!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: MY IDEA!
K. EDGAR SINGER: ENOUGH ALREADY! This argument is wasting everybody’s time!
DOC HOPPER, NICKY HOLIDAY, and RACHEL BITTERMAN: You keep out of this!
K. EDGAR SINGER: (Sighs) I’ve had it! I’ve had it! I’m going home!
With that, Singer left the building as well while Long John walked back into the café.
LONG JOHN SILVER: Where’s D’Snowth?
MRSPEPPER: Not here anymore luckily, why?
LONG JOHN SILVER: I need the combination to the safe so I can get my hands on the treasure!
MRSPEPPER: Oh shoot, I forgot to get the combination from him before he was fired…
Suddenly MrsPepper was hit in the side of the head with an actual dodge ball thrown by Miss Bitterman.
MRSPEPPER: (Snaps) Alright, that’s it, I’ve had it! There must be SOMETHING we can use against them!
Just then Beauregard walked out of the kitchen with a huge pot of Custodian’s Surprise.
BEAUREGARD: Soup’s on!
VIC ROMANO: That’s it!
With that, MrsPepper, Vic, and Prawnie grabbed the pot of Custodian’s Surprise and doused the remaining villains with the gooey, sticky substance.
BEAUREGARD: You know, I’m really getting sick of you people using my cooking for everything other than the purposes of eating!
RACHEL BITTERMAN: Oh my… oh, what IS this crap?
NICKY HOLIDAY: My socks! My brand new socks… RUINED!
DOC HOPPER: Suddenly I have no appetite!
Yes the villains couldn’t budge as the surprise was working like a bottle of school glue.
FATHER MARTY: Well, I guess I can safely say “game called on account of soup”!
VIC ROMANO: (Correcting him) Surprise.
FATHER MARTY: (Without missing a beat) Yes I am, this certain has been one surprising game of dodge ball.
Vic shook his head as MrsPepper chuckled in relief.
*Commercial Break*
Later that evening after everything was cleaned up MrsPepper walked into the lounge where everyone else had gathered around the TV set.
MRSPEPPER: What’s all the huh-bub?
No one answered, but Vic pointed to the screen, signalling for MrsPepper to walk over to see what was going on. The screen revealed the exterior of a correctional facility in Florida.
ANNOUNCER: an un-identified wimpy, greasy looking guy who was constantly heard shouting “I’ll get MrsPepper if it’s the last thing I do, I want my pen” has just made an escape attempt!…
Everyone then turned towards MrsPepper.
MRSPEPPER: Well, looks like I’ll simply have to file another restraining order.
VIC ROMANO: You already filed one against that greasy guy?
MRSPEPPER: No, I filed one against D’Snowth, after what that little weasel did to me, I don’t want him within three feet of my buffer zone!
So MrsPepper walked out of the building for the night.
FATHER MARTY: What in Heaven’s name did D’Snowth do to MrsPepper that would cause her to file a restraining order against him?
THEPRAWNCRACKER: We don’t know.
VIC ROMANO: And we never will.
THE END
Executive Producer: Phillip Chapman
Producer: MrsPepper
Head Writer: D’Snowth
Songs
“Half Time Show”
Written by Jody Gray
Performed by The Electric Mayhem
Executive Producer: Phillip Chapman
Producer: MrsPepper
Head Writer: D’Snowth
Songs
“Half Time Show”
Written by Jody Gray
Performed by The Electric Mayhem
One of the funniest ones we've done, I'd say.
