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Sam and Friends Bookminor muppetz
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(Statler and Waldorf are looking through a scrapbook)
Statler: This is great.
Waldorf: Yeah, we found Scooter's scrapbook. Maybe we should host it instead.
(they notice a viewer watching them)
Statler: OH, hello there. I'm Statler.
Waldorf: And I'm Waldorf. Tonight, we are presenting to you various guest star moments from the last season of The Muppet Show.
Statler: Even though we don't have much nice things to say about them.
(they laugh)
Scooter: (entering) Hey, what are you doing with my book?
Statler: the backstroke.
Scooter: This is my show. I'm supposed to be hosting this.
Waldorf: Well, we're sorry.
Statler: Actually, we're not.
Scooter: Beides, don't you two have some internet show to be hosting?
Waldorf: Oh, that's right.
Statler: And it's 15 seconds 'till curtain, too!
(they run away)
Scooter: Well, I'm sorry about them, folks. But tonight, we are going to look through my scrapbook of great guest star moments from season five of The Muppet Show. (turns pages back to the first page) Oh, here is Gene Kelly, giving Kermit the Frog a dance lesson.
(cut to: Kermit's dance lesson)
Kermit: I really liked that dance lesson.
Scooter: So did I.
Miss Piggy: (standing behind Kermit) So did moi.
Kermit: Oh, miss piggy, how long have you been standing there?
Miss Piggy: Oh, just as long as you have.
Scooter: And now, here are Loretta Switt, Joan Baez, and Shirley bassey.
Kermit: Oh, that's great.
Miss Piggy: Oh, good grief, woman performers who aren't moi.
(cut to: I Feel the Earth Move, An Honest Lullaby, and Goldfinger)
Scooter: And now, we have James Coburn.
(cut to: The Roaring Twenties sketch)
Scooter: And here is an excerpt from the Alice in Wonderland play we did with Brooke Shields.
(cut to: The Mad Tea Party sequence)
Scooter: and here are Glenda Jackson, Senor Wenches, and Paul Simon.
(cut to: Blow, Ye Winds, Heigh Ho, Senor Wenches first act, and It's Been a Long, Long Day)
Floyd: So, which guests are we looking at now?
Scooter: We are looking at melissa manchester, tony randall, mac davis, and carol burnet.
Floyd: Groovy!
(cut to: Whenever I Call You Friend, Tippy Tippy Tim, Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me, and They Make Songs For Love But Not For Me)
Scooter: And now, I present to you, Marty Feldman in his performance of the Wright Brothers at Kitty Hawk.
(cut to: The Wright Brothers at kitty hawk sketch)
Scooter: And now here are Debbie Harry, Gladys Knight, Jean-Pierre Rampa, Wally Boag, and Chris Langham.
(cut to: The Rainbow Connection, I Heard It Through The Grapevine, Ease Down On The Road, Wally Boag's balloon animals, and Hawian Cowboy)
Dr. Teeth: hiya, Scooter.
Scooter: Oh, hi, Dr. Teeth.
Dr. Teeth: I'm sorry that I haven't been able to look through your scrapbooks.
Scooter: Oh, that's okay.
Dr. Teeth: Which season are we at?
Scooter: Season five.
Dr. Teeth: Oh, I missed out on alot. Which guests are we at?
Scooter: Well, on this page, we've got Johnny Cash, Hal Lindon, and Buddy Rich.
Dr. Teeth: Oh, man, I really did miss out.
(cut to: Egg Sucking Dog, When The Saints Come Marching In, and Buddy Rich's drum battle against Animal)
Scooter: And now, here are the last two guest stars, Linda Ronstatd and Roger Moore.
(Cut to: Blue Bayou and Talk To The Animals)
Scooter: And that's it. Well, it's time for me to coem to the muppet theater for a very important meeting. See ya later.
(as Scooter leaves, Statler and Waldorf come back)
Statler: Well, it turns out that today was our day off from our web show.
Waldorf: So, instead, we will host an evening of season five guest stars.
Statler: Scooter's not here, so maybe we'll get away with it.
Waldorf: Yes, well, let's start the show with...
Scooter: (coming back) Oh, I forgot my scrap book. (takes it and leaves)
Waldorf: Oh, no.
Statler: He took the scrapbook away from us.
Statler: This is great.
Waldorf: Yeah, we found Scooter's scrapbook. Maybe we should host it instead.
(they notice a viewer watching them)
Statler: OH, hello there. I'm Statler.
Waldorf: And I'm Waldorf. Tonight, we are presenting to you various guest star moments from the last season of The Muppet Show.
Statler: Even though we don't have much nice things to say about them.
(they laugh)
Scooter: (entering) Hey, what are you doing with my book?
Statler: the backstroke.
Scooter: This is my show. I'm supposed to be hosting this.
Waldorf: Well, we're sorry.
Statler: Actually, we're not.
Scooter: Beides, don't you two have some internet show to be hosting?
Waldorf: Oh, that's right.
Statler: And it's 15 seconds 'till curtain, too!
(they run away)
Scooter: Well, I'm sorry about them, folks. But tonight, we are going to look through my scrapbook of great guest star moments from season five of The Muppet Show. (turns pages back to the first page) Oh, here is Gene Kelly, giving Kermit the Frog a dance lesson.
(cut to: Kermit's dance lesson)
Kermit: I really liked that dance lesson.
Scooter: So did I.
Miss Piggy: (standing behind Kermit) So did moi.
Kermit: Oh, miss piggy, how long have you been standing there?
Miss Piggy: Oh, just as long as you have.
Scooter: And now, here are Loretta Switt, Joan Baez, and Shirley bassey.
Kermit: Oh, that's great.
Miss Piggy: Oh, good grief, woman performers who aren't moi.
(cut to: I Feel the Earth Move, An Honest Lullaby, and Goldfinger)
Scooter: And now, we have James Coburn.
(cut to: The Roaring Twenties sketch)
Scooter: And here is an excerpt from the Alice in Wonderland play we did with Brooke Shields.
(cut to: The Mad Tea Party sequence)
Scooter: and here are Glenda Jackson, Senor Wenches, and Paul Simon.
(cut to: Blow, Ye Winds, Heigh Ho, Senor Wenches first act, and It's Been a Long, Long Day)
Floyd: So, which guests are we looking at now?
Scooter: We are looking at melissa manchester, tony randall, mac davis, and carol burnet.
Floyd: Groovy!
(cut to: Whenever I Call You Friend, Tippy Tippy Tim, Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me, and They Make Songs For Love But Not For Me)
Scooter: And now, I present to you, Marty Feldman in his performance of the Wright Brothers at Kitty Hawk.
(cut to: The Wright Brothers at kitty hawk sketch)
Scooter: And now here are Debbie Harry, Gladys Knight, Jean-Pierre Rampa, Wally Boag, and Chris Langham.
(cut to: The Rainbow Connection, I Heard It Through The Grapevine, Ease Down On The Road, Wally Boag's balloon animals, and Hawian Cowboy)
Dr. Teeth: hiya, Scooter.
Scooter: Oh, hi, Dr. Teeth.
Dr. Teeth: I'm sorry that I haven't been able to look through your scrapbooks.
Scooter: Oh, that's okay.
Dr. Teeth: Which season are we at?
Scooter: Season five.
Dr. Teeth: Oh, I missed out on alot. Which guests are we at?
Scooter: Well, on this page, we've got Johnny Cash, Hal Lindon, and Buddy Rich.
Dr. Teeth: Oh, man, I really did miss out.
(cut to: Egg Sucking Dog, When The Saints Come Marching In, and Buddy Rich's drum battle against Animal)
Scooter: And now, here are the last two guest stars, Linda Ronstatd and Roger Moore.
(Cut to: Blue Bayou and Talk To The Animals)
Scooter: And that's it. Well, it's time for me to coem to the muppet theater for a very important meeting. See ya later.
(as Scooter leaves, Statler and Waldorf come back)
Statler: Well, it turns out that today was our day off from our web show.
Waldorf: So, instead, we will host an evening of season five guest stars.
Statler: Scooter's not here, so maybe we'll get away with it.
Waldorf: Yes, well, let's start the show with...
Scooter: (coming back) Oh, I forgot my scrap book. (takes it and leaves)
Waldorf: Oh, no.
Statler: He took the scrapbook away from us.
